10 things to tell your friends why you walk the way you do.....

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Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I thought of these cool and funny things off the top of my head that we could tell our friends the reason we walk the way we do. Why we are slow, humped over, limping, hunched over, leaned upon things and just plain looking like we are 100 years old. Some of these might not seem too funny but hey its 4:am and I'm sleep deprived LOL

1.) An alien ship landed in my back yard, scooped me up and took me off to space to "do research" on my body. But before they would return me to earth I had to swear I wouldn't tell the FBI.

2.) I was jumped by 10 midgets with numb chucks and they assaulted my kneecaps.

3.) To many years of staring at the sun did this to me kids!

4.) I went to the doctor and he pressed on my head to hard and shrunk me my two feet. But the side affect was that I now walk with a hunch back cause everything crunched up like a paper cup. Doc says it'll iron out if I go into a steam room. tongue

5.) Its physics......what comes up must come down. After so many years of growing so tall I'm now growing vertical. :-)

6.) I grew up with gorillas and was fed too many bananas!

7.) While standing in the grass one day my body started to root! My doctor says I'll need fed several times a year and pruned twice a year.

8.) I'm a cousin to the otter.

9.) I got into a fight....you should see the other guy!

and the last reason for our hunched over limped looks........

10.) I'm practicing for the lead roll in a rewrite of "Frankenstein" I'm going to play Egor!!

Enjoy!

If you all can think of any more have fun with this thread my dear CPers. Laughter is the best medicine remember.

Hugssssss

Scarred
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


Pete trips again!
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 2/10/2009 5:56 AM (GMT -7)   
You are one funny Lady in the middle of the night Scarred! I wonder what you're like when you are fresh & rsted?? You cheered me up this AM>>Thanks!! As for me, how about the truth?
#11.) I came from the "Just say Yes Generation" And I said YES way too many times which lead directly to the hospital> Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. Learn form your mistakes? Nah, Just say Yes again over and over and over! Yep, thats why I walk this way!
Pete
55 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy (Testim Gel)since 12/06 but switched to a higher dose of (Androgel) 6/08. 55 and still alive and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on an aircraft carrier heading for Hong Kong and the other on a Gator Freighter stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


Chartreux
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   Posted 2/10/2009 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Geezee would've thought you'd says:
12. had to go into the hamster hole at chuck e cheese as the grandkids wouldn't come out and ended more vertical than before........
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

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PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
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   Posted 2/10/2009 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
13. I'm poor and have to keep looking for pennies on the ground!

This one's true! smhair

PaLady

uniquelyme
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1037
   Posted 2/10/2009 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
I just say to people "What? You don't hear that music?" (because I rock back and forth all the time)
 
It's much funnier when you don't have to explain it..Ha Ha
 
Me.

 

 Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Bipolar, GERD

Hemi-lamenectomy, Spinal Fusion

120mg. methadone daily, 60mg. oxycodone daily

 


Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/10/2009 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
hahahahaha Alll very very goood!!!!! Made me chuckle!!! Loved the mouse one Char. Unique too funny! I forgot the Penny one PA god it was a way weird night!!!

How about..........Slept too long in an upright position when I was little and this is the way I grew.
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
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   Posted 2/10/2009 2:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Great thread, Scarred!

Sometimes I get pretty horrific looking black eyes from acupuncture & I've told people that I had gotten attacked by a pack of angry gorillas! smilewinkgrin

Skeye

Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:02 PM (GMT -7)   
ha ha ha ha Skeye when I get those when I haven't slept enough I tell everyone hubby slapped me because I was snoring too loud. They laugh cause all his friends have heard me snore when we have been camping with them :P

I just thought of another one gang. On those days when there isn't enough make-up in the world to hide those dark circles around the bottom of our eyes.....tell your friends this one:

"I was sleeping soundly when all of a sudden a pack of angry football players decided to put me "In the Game!" geeez you'd think enough of that black paint they use would come in jars but they brought out a barrel of the stuff!!!"
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/10/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, tell them you're rehearsing to play Big Ben for Halloween, Scarred!

And Skeye, boy, you could weave that one into some famous research project you're doing with the Discovery Channel and Lisa Ling!!

PaLady

Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/11/2009 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok I thought of another one PA....


While I was sleeping one night small trolls came and kidnapped me! They wanted me to be their Queen and this is what the result was!
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


Pamela Neckpain
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 2/12/2009 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
While I was at Aspen, I had an accident. The ski lodge gave me free food and
lodging for two weeks while I was there. It was pretty but all I could was
shop and spend my time in those dang fancy restaurants. I'll be better soon.
They medics are flying me back so they can check. Maybe they're worried about
a law suit. Maybe I should find an attorney. NOT.

Too funny Scarred. smilewinkgrin

Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/12/2009 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
hahahahah Pam!
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


Pamela Neckpain
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1821
   Posted 2/13/2009 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
skeye:

why o why does accupuncture give you black eyes?
(serious question... and i wonder if anyone is gonna come back with a ha ha.)

pamela confused

skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 2/13/2009 7:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Pamela,

Sometimes it releases fluid which then gets trapped under the skin of my upper and/or lower eyelid = black eye. It looks pretty horrific, but amazingly it usually helps with the pain much more than normal. It can be caused by bad needle placement too, but I don't believe that that has even been the cause of one of my shiners.

Skeye

PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/13/2009 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Skeye -
That's intriguing, isn't it? Imean releasing some fluid and that helps the pain? Sounds like almost some type of aspiration that occurs.

PaLady

mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/14/2009 9:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I am practicing for the part of the hunch back of notre dam.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.


skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 2/14/2009 9:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Palady,

Yes, it is very intriguing. There is so much we still don't understand about medicine. I know it's not from a bad needle insertion either, because both my acupuncturist & I can tell when the needle placement isn't right/it doesn't go in well & that usually results in a different kind of bruising, if the needle even goes in at all. I wonder if the fluid's not from edema behind the eye, such that releasing some of the fluid releases some of the pressure on the nerves, etc. It makes so much sense, and we had been thinking that inflammation was playing a role in the pain, but nothing was seen on the MRI (again). I have a call into my ophthalmologist & one of things I've got to ask him is if he still thinks that inflammation is one of the culprits of this pain, because if he does, it would probably be worth traveling to Iowa, since that doc is an orbital inflammatory disease specialist.

Oh, and you'll be happy about this one: I went to special medical store for the vision impaired today & I purchased this cell phone that works as a digital reader. It's really neat. You take a picture of a page of a book & it reads the text, displays the text on the screen (magnified) and reads it aloud back to you! I'm really excited about it, I think it is going to help a lot, and it even works with my huge science text books (I brought one to try)! And you can even plug it into your tv & it will display the text nice & large. Unfortunately they were all out of stock, so I have to wait another week or so to get it shakehead. It really broken my bank account though (it was $1600, ouch! and we checked, the insurance won't cover any of it, although my parents did pay for some of it - my birthday is next week & that's my huge bday present), but I think it will be worth it in the long run. And I found another contraption that works in a similar fashion, but with a computer & it is much faster & can be used to really enlarge my huge text books (which the school won't do for me) & you can basically convert your books to audiobooks & enlarged text files at the same time. Unfortunately it was waaaay out of my price range (almost $4000), but I got all the info about it, as well as a price quote & I'm going to try to set up a meeting with the Dean of Students next week and push them to get it for me. Since they can't or won't enlarge most of my books and can't get most of them on audiobook and are highly unreliable I think that this would be a perfect solution. I'm trying!

Skeye

Sorry for being so off topic! I probably should have started a new thread.

Post Edited (skeye) : 2/14/2009 10:03:21 PM (GMT-7)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/14/2009 11:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Skeye,
That's GREAT!! I know it's off topic for this thread, but I wanted to say YOU GO GIRL!!

I think it's also great you're going to try to get the Dean to purchase the device for the computer. I mean even if you have to share it, it would be worht it.

Ok, we'll let the others skip over this and continue the topic of this thread!

PaLady

Scarred_for_life
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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/15/2009 2:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm practicing to be a dwarf for a remake of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" I'm going to be playing the part of Sleepy
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


shannon1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 2/15/2009 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, so since i don't walk hunched over, but limp some due to the lawnmower accident/amputited toe, my excuse is alway.....

I was surfing and was attacked by a shark

I have tons of scars, ect, and people almost always fall for it! lol
Jan. 2009, complete hysterectomy, diagnosed stage 4 endometriosis & adenomyosis (age 36)
2003, dx moderate UC
2000, dx selective IGA deficiency w/ anti IGA antibodies
2000, dx Antipholipid Antibody Syndrome
1999-2009, chronic hemmoragic ovarian cysts, w/ partial ovary removal
1977, complete reconstruction of foot after lawnmower accident (chronic pain)
 
Meds
6mp 75mg, prednisone 40mg (just starting meds again)
percocet 5mg 3x day
potassium 3x day
 


Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 2/15/2009 3:16 PM (GMT -7)   
That's a real good one Shannon even though I kinda feel sorry for you for having to go through this. Now I'm feeling guilty for starting this thread ack! Maybe it was a little stupid to do this?

Hugs

Scarred
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 2/15/2009 6:42 PM (GMT -7)   
awe scarred, it's a good thread hun and it's given me a chuckle, so thank you
for starting it...
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


mom9mom
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 2/17/2009 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Scarred just remember that laughter is good for the Body and the soul.It can lower your pain so this thread is like free pain medication.I think all of us spend so much money on medication as it is so its nice to get a small amount of pain relief for free.Just make sure you you do not laugh to hard that you hurt your self.
Lost half of my small intestineJan.2008.Ilieostomy for 5 months then reverst in June 2008,Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed Jan. 2008,Cronic pain,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression.Gallbladder removed Nov,2008.Surgery to fuse L3 and L4 vertabra Dec. 31,2008.Mother to 9 kids 7 boys 2 girls and 1 stepson.4 grandsons,9 grandaughters.4 of my grandkids I inherited from my twin sister who passed away 6 1/2 years ago from a blood clot after surgery.God has given me my life back after I almost lost it.Even though its a painful and sometimes hard road to walk I take it one step at a time and give thanks to god for every step I take.

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