Welcome! I remember very well the day I realized that circumstances were out of my control, I was afraid to verbalize it or even think my situation was permanent. I did what I had to do like a robot, I gave up my job I loved and entered the world of CP, Pain medication, frequent PMD visits, Physical Therapy, Accupuncture, Chiropractic visits, MRI's etc. etc. I never really said it out loud I just did what I needed to do. For the 1st few months, I spent most of my days in bed, the pain was unbearable, I would get up for a few hours, cook meals for my family, pretend like I cared and back to bed I went. What I realized months later was I was grieving for the person I used to be, after 35 years of working, supporting myself, then my family, I realized I was now totally dependent on someone for financial support and for physical things I could no longer do. It was AWFUL!! I am usually a very positive person, have strong spiritual beliefs and always believe that everything happens for a reason. One day it was like the lights came on and I decided I could either be miserable in pain or I could live my life and learn to deal with the pain. I began to be grateful for all that I still could do and before long I was accepting my NEW life instead of feeling sorry for myself.....don't get me wrong there are days that I wonder why this has happened to me and get really angry, bitter, sad and weepy...! For me the depression was definitely situational.....as new symptoms appear and pain gets worse, I do what I have to do to make it through the day! Any new treatment that I hear about I research and discuss with my PMD.....I do everything I can to help myself, I've said it before in prior posts, if in the morning I can get out of bed and walk, I know I can make it through the day.....one minute at a time!
I hope no one gets offended but I also believe in Guardian Angels and ask for their help continually throughout the day! I chose them over therapy
Post Edited (skeye) : 2/24/2009 11:55:56 PM (GMT-7)
I am also new to this Forum, ( Thank-You Forum Moderator Chutz for introducing this Site to me) But I am not new to the world of CP, 97 was many years ago for me, and I have experienced many changes in my life since then because of the pain.
I don't know that I ever had a time when the "realization" set in that this is how my life is going to be! Maybe I have never thought about it that way. I know I never really thought about CP being my constant partner. Over the years it just kind of happened. . Your post has bought back many memories as well as reading the post of others. You do seem so young but your post shows the maturity of someone much older. I really think living with CP can do that to a person. It changes them, there priorities become different, heck ones life becomes different! Anyway I just wanted to chime in on this post, but I don't want to take anything away from this one, so I will start a new one to introduce my self! Good Luck to You