Post Edited (PAlady) : 3/10/2009 2:12:12 PM (GMT-6)
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on ful disalbility!
Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!)
Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV
Wow! This is a great topic. I loved reading everyone's responses and agree with them so much. Forgiveness is such an important part of life. I have noticed that the people that who don't forgive seem to have a miserable life....nothing ever goes the way they want it or need it. There is always someone out to get them. I also know from experience how much it can tear you down to keep holding that grudge or to keep replaying what happened over in your head. I think when you forgive, you live a much happier life! I know I do.
Thank you White Beard for starting this thread!
21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08
Post Edited (PAlady) : 3/12/2009 11:48:05 AM (GMT-6)
My thoughts line up with theswan's response. Being a Christian, I am told to forgive as I have been forgiven. I believe that. We are such imperfect beings ourselves. Corrie Ten Boone spent years in a concentration camp, along with her sister. She had to ask God to help her to forgive the German soldiers over and over. I understood it as something that you may have to do more than once. But I also have seen where, someone hurt me and I prayed for them, because I heard that helps to forgive people and it worked, I forgave them as if it never happened.
It is interesting, I think not forgiving hurts you and will make you unhappy, but I figure that to be a given. But I am seeing things I think are "givens" aren't--because I see frequently people are often not on the same "wave lengths".
Thank-You for sharing your story, I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to write this and having all those memories flooding back up to the surface!
I can Identify with the way you started off your post! You asked:("I'm going to start with a question....what is forgiveness? Is forgiveness forgetting? Is forgiveness, remembering the situation without the emotional attachment? How do you really know when you have forgiven?")
You posed some very good questions!, And WOW what a very unfortunate and trying time you have had! Believe it or not you, like so many of us, really are blessed, and extremely lucky to have survived such an ordeal, and not be at least paralyzed! I know CP does not sound like being blessed, but there are things far worse! And you like most of us have expressed the feelings of guilt, betrayal, and bitterness!
Post Edited (White Beard) : 3/13/2009 9:34:36 AM (GMT-6)
Thanks Char.....that was in 2003.....I do have Medicare now! Thank you for your hugs! I would say I FINALLY accepted everything as it is what it is....last year, long process for sure!
Thank you for your kind words, I know that if I could do it all over again that I would do it exactly the same! You are so right, some things are meant to be! My reward is knowing that I did help so many people, I have much to be grateful for...I loved going to work everyday and in all honesty would love to be able to do it again! I had my moment and I thank God that I was able to work through my disappointment and lack of support from my boss and his wife! My regret really is that I didn't speak up for myself, when I felt they deserted me. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason and in the order it is supposed to....darn if only we could control that one....lol!
I am very grateful that I was able to confront them in a loving way and then finally let it go.....forgiveness!
Thanks for posting this topic, I feel safe here with all of you to say things I usually hold back from my family and friends. Most times when I say things they say I'm being negative but they are my thoughts that I need to say it (whatever it may be) and move on! Just acknowledging things sometimes helps me release them! I know all of my friends here understand this in the CP world we live in everyday!
Much love to all of you!
What a story and thank you so much for sharing it with us. What you went thru losing a sister is something I cannot fathom as you see I have not been down that road. I don't want to offend you by saying I understand, you can only truly understand if you have lived that particular thing yourself. At least that is my concept. I had a very good friend lose her only daughter to diabetes at the age of 13. I was not sure my friend was going to survive this. The one thing she told me was people coming up to her and saying I understand how you feel, when in fact they had never lost a child. She said how can they understand if they have not lived it. She said oh, I know they are trying to comfort me at a very difficult time and I appreciate that, but she said sometimes I feel like screaming have you lost a child. Do you know when she shared this with me it made a very big impact, because what she said was true. I can tell you how sorry I am for losing your sister and very sorry for what you went thru was horrible.
Post Edited (Chartreux) : 3/13/2009 5:27:15 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (PAlady) : 3/13/2009 10:37:33 PM (GMT-6)