"But you don't look sick!"

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Gabby123
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 113
   Posted 3/30/2009 3:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone.  I am so tired of this comment, usually from people that have no idea what it's like to be in chronic pain hell everyday of their lives.  Do any of you have friends that tell you this?  Then they remind you that if you just get out and do something you will feel better!  Ummm no, whether i am at home or out the pain is still there no matter what I do.  It just frustrates me that just because I don't "look sick" doiesnt mean i feel like a million dollars.  And since it is chronic, meaning...it doesnt go away.  They seem to think like a flu or cold it will be gone in a week or so.  I've had chronic pain for so long I don't even remember what normal feels like.  I would like to have one day free of pain.  One thing this illness has taught me is empathy for others who are sick or in pain.  Cheers

Hello~Kitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 3/30/2009 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish people would tell me I didnt look sick. I always have people tell me I look sick or tierd, like just this morning my cousin told me I looked very vtierd eventhough I had more sleep last night then usual. It really puts me down becuase sometimes I try really hard to look nice, but no matter what people think Im terribly ill. Just not fair.

-hellokitty
26 year old Female , single mother of 2 kids, on SSI for migraines, pain, pancreas issues
All the things broken with me: Migraines, Fibromyalgia, Chronic lower back pain that causes severe pain/numbness/tingling especially to my left leg,Arthiritis in my back, Genetic Pancreatic Divisum that causes chronic pancreatitas, Asthma, Depression w/Anxiety/panic attacks, Bipolar
Prescription Meds:Suboxone 24mgs daily, Cymbalta 60mg nightly, Lyrica 50mgs nightly, Imitrex as needed, Ibprofen 800 twice daily, Zanaflex as needed, Ventolin as needed for asthma attacks, Advair twice daily
Over the counter meds: Benadryl nightly for itching due to meds (not sure which one yet),
Surgeries: Gallbladder removed at 15 years old, 2 ERCPs, stent put in pancreas, countless upper GI scopes, Bartholin gland opened permanetly due to recurring painful cysts
Goals: to go to college next fall to be a nurse and get off of SSI, would love to work in a inpatient rehab center for drug addicts
Wishful thinking: to not be in pain!!!


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13473
   Posted 3/30/2009 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Very good post Gabby. I think the worst of it was when I was still trying to work and I got to the point I just wanted to walk in & scream loudly for everyone to hear, "Yes I feel like hammered do-do today so leave me the hell alone." I know some meant well and others were just plain stupid. In addition to CP I have other debilitating illness' and my dear brother is the worst one for that comment. Now, very few people come around, which that is part of CP patients life, losing most of our outside contacts.

I have been working on myself a little. By that I mean I will fix my hair and throw a little war paint on every day. It does help my psych to do that. Back years ago, my psychologist told me to start working on doing that again for many reasons. Its like she said thats one thing I did every day before CP reared its ugly head again. I do feel better about myself by doing this, I am also more likely to go somewhere if I am more presentable. I may just go walking around Target, WalMart, hardware store, anthing for a change in scenery and to get me up moving. But sometimes because I do this everyone think I am on top of the world, cured lol. Hugs, Susie


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 3/30/2009 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes people really suck! I hope Y'all have a better day tomorrow!
Your Friend,
Pete
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections every 2weeks . 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis in port in Japan and the other on a Gator Freighter USS Bataan stationed in Norfolk, Va. I am one proud PaPa! 


Jules22871
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 142
   Posted 3/30/2009 8:11 PM (GMT -7)   
The first time I Heard the words "It's all in your head" was from a nurse just 8 days after getting hit by an SUV while on a Harley. I had more metal in me than a building at that point and she had the nerve to tell me the pain was all in my head. Safe to say I didn't see that nurse again, ever. I made her leave my room and told the floor nurse that I refused to have her as a nurse and told her why. On one of my other surgeries about a year after that she came into my room at shift pain and I told her to get out then too,lol Most people that have not been thru something like we all have sometimes have no clue what is going on or what to say. It is sad, but true and we just have one more thing that we have to deal with every day.
Thirteen surgeries from motorcycle wreck. Reconstructed right pelvis, DJD left hip, trochanteric bursitis left hip, screws in knee, metal plates on right pelvis, spinal fusion to reattach right pelvis, metal plates right tibia and fibula, metal plates needs replaced on tibia, cannot walk without crutches, drop foot, nerve damage and pain, HTN, tachycardia, delayed sleep phase syndrome, PTSD, chronic atelactesis
Wonderful husband, 3 awesome children that are grown but still take care of me. Two dogs, Buddy- Cardigan Welsh Corgi/Borner Collie mic, Crash- Yorkie, 1 psychotic cat, Precious, 1 anti-social cat, Prissy.


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 3/30/2009 10:27 PM (GMT -7)   
stillrecovering Pain is what ever the patient says it is, nothing more and nothing less! period, End of story! Since pain is subjective, and no one else can feel what another person feels, pain is just what the patient says it is! it just has to be that way!. You did the right thing stillrecovering! Doctors and Nurses should know better than that!

White Beard
 

I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on ful disalbility!

Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!)

Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


Jules22871
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 142
   Posted 3/30/2009 10:39 PM (GMT -7)   
White Beard, you are so right. If I say I hurt that ought to be enough. I dont think I have ever been that mad at anyone in my life and I am a pretty easy going person. When I told my ortho about that a few months later, just laughing at it, he got so mad I thought his head was going to explode,lol We have to stand up for ourselves because no one else will.
Thirteen surgeries from motorcycle wreck. Reconstructed right pelvis, DJD left hip, trochanteric bursitis left hip, screws in knee, metal plates on right pelvis, spinal fusion to reattach right pelvis, metal plates right tibia and fibula, metal plates needs replaced on tibia, cannot walk without crutches, drop foot, nerve damage and pain, HTN, tachycardia, delayed sleep phase syndrome, PTSD, chronic atelactesis
Wonderful husband, 3 awesome children that are grown but still take care of me. Two dogs, Buddy- Cardigan Welsh Corgi/Borner Collie mic, Crash- Yorkie, 1 psychotic cat, Precious, 1 anti-social cat, Prissy.


.....
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 3/30/2009 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Gabby - I sort of found your post accidentally. But I wanted to suggest that you check out this link, which I believe is posted on both the lupus and fibromyalgia forums. It was written about lupus but addresses your post very well. The Spoon Theory is a great analogy for what people with chronic pain issues go through every day.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

hugs,
song
SONG
Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, IBS
Endometriosis, Hypothyroidism, Psoriasis, Asthma, Cholecystectomy
(Diabetic spouse)
 


nurse2
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 3/30/2009 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Straydog,
I know exactly what you mean. I rarely get to see my brother because he lives 3 hr. away from me an is a very busy attorney and lets face it, it's hard for us to travel. He found out that my PCP gave me a script for a very low dose of Morphine to talk twice a day to try to help with my nasty pain. He made some smart remark about it being so addicting and that he " wouldn't take it if his life depended on it." I told him that if I get addicted to it but don't beg for an increased dose or stand on the street corner trying to buy more , who gives a crap. Walk in my shoes before you make a remark like that.
I haven't been able to take the Morphine anyway because I'm back in physical therapy three days a week and watch grand-kids three other days a week so when can I work that in safely? I'm in so much pain right now that I'm sitting up in this chair so that I can breath. The chest pain is terrible (chronic pain, not cardiac related) and on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd rate about an 8. I just emailed him that website ..soyoudontlooksick....fantistic article that I have recommended to everyone I know. Maybe he will understand better. I know that he is just worried but sometimes "the lawyer" in him comes out and I could beat him. Right now all I do is cry because of pain and a little depression. The PT is stirring up all sorts of discomfort but hopefully will help in the long run. I used to go to Walmart at 3 a.m. and walk around until time to go to work at 6 a.m. ....like you said...just to keep my mind off of the pain and not go crazy. I was a regular there for a while. I hope you have a good day today, sweetie. We are all with you!
Nurse2
Degenerative disc disease,osteoarthritis, status post 4 cervical spinal surgeries with plate insertions and fusion, Lupus, Sjogren's Disease, Fibromyalgia, chronic heacaches and chronic pain.


Jules22871
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 142
   Posted 3/30/2009 11:32 PM (GMT -7)   
songbird, that has to be one of the best things I have ever read. That really explains things and I am going to pass it on to people that I know. Thank you so much for that!
Thirteen surgeries from motorcycle wreck. Reconstructed right pelvis, DJD left hip, trochanteric bursitis left hip, screws in knee, metal plates on right pelvis, spinal fusion to reattach right pelvis, metal plates right tibia and fibula, metal plates needs replaced on tibia, cannot walk without crutches, drop foot, nerve damage and pain, HTN, tachycardia, delayed sleep phase syndrome, PTSD, chronic atelactesis
Wonderful husband, 3 awesome children that are grown but still take care of me. Two dogs, Buddy- Cardigan Welsh Corgi/Borner Collie mic, Crash- Yorkie, 1 psychotic cat, Precious, 1 anti-social cat, Prissy.


keepingthefaith
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 331
   Posted 3/30/2009 11:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Not being weird or anything, but, from what I have been told from good friends female & male, I have a cute shape....so with that I always get "your so skinny" or "you look so good".  Well thats cuz they only see me or a few minutes once in awhile & they will never comment on how BAD my droopy eyes look or the breakouts or how I'm not smiling anymore.  They see me only at my best times.  Also I would like to to stay, one would never comment on an overweight person to their face & they may be that why do to meds or illness.  I definitely have the "invisible" disease & symptoms.  rolleyes
Dx with CD 1987, 3 colon resections, 3 rectal abscess sx, anterior cervical neck fusion with plate & screws,6/2008. Major depression/anxiety, kidney stones & sx to remove, now 45 yrs old.  Still trying to figure out this disease & all the little extra complications that come with this rollarcoaster of a life with CD. Meds:Humira 40mg every other wk, Imuran .75 daily, welchol 625 x 3 daily, cymbalta 60 mg 2xdaily, Wellbutrin xl 150mg 1x daily, fish oil, folic acid,Vit B12,inject monthly, Oscal w/Vit D, xanex .5 nightly, Gabapentin 600 mg 3x daily, Soma 350 mg nightly & Tramadol/apap 37.5/325 mg 3-4x daily
 
         
 
 


Hello~Kitty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 3/31/2009 1:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I just had my hair done this last month perfessionally, and bought some expesive maybe up at Macys, and try to dress up often, but alot of day I'm just too tied to do anyting, so I throw my hair in a messy bun and skip the makeup, since I so have clear skin, so I guess when people cach me on a nice looking day, they think I'm getting ready to go out when I'm not, but then that wears me out so much from blow drying and straightening my hair, that I dont have the energy the next several days to do anyting. So when people see me on days where I'm not dressed up, they seem to assume I'm sick. And of course I tell them I feel ill, but I dont tell them what I'm ill from (chronic pain from my back and fibro) cause I dont wanna hear anyones views on it. And if they wanna know more information I just tell them I think I'm coming down with something. It just seems like too many people have bad views on chronic pain, unless I know they have chronic pain too and they'll understand, but otherwise I keep my mouth shut lol.

-prettyprincesshellokitty
26 year old Female , single mother of 2 kids, on SSI for migraines, pain, pancreas issues
All the things broken with me: Migraines, Fibromyalgia, Chronic lower back pain that causes severe pain/numbness/tingling especially to my left leg,Arthiritis in my back, Genetic Pancreatic Divisum that causes chronic pancreatitas, Asthma, Depression w/Anxiety/panic attacks, Bipolar
Prescription Meds:Suboxone 24mgs daily, Cymbalta 60mg nightly, Lyrica 50mgs nightly, Imitrex as needed, Ibprofen 800 twice daily, Zanaflex as needed, Ventolin as needed for asthma attacks, Advair twice daily
Over the counter meds: Benadryl nightly for itching due to meds (not sure which one yet),
Surgeries: Gallbladder removed at 15 years old, 2 ERCPs, stent put in pancreas, countless upper GI scopes, marsupilized bartholin gland cyst
Goals: to go to college next fall to be a nurse and get off of SSI, would love to work in a inpatient rehab center for drug addicts
Wishful thinking: to not be in pain!!!


ekkorose
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 3/31/2009 6:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I am going to pass that on to my boss. She keeps expecting me to be 100% better everytime I see a doctor and I just cannot seem to get it through that is not the way it goes, no matter how much we bother wish it. I am sick of hearing "when will you be better" or "why can't they fix it" or even better "you need to get healthy, your too young"

Apparently working 12hr days so that on bad days I have the "time" reserved to take it easy it just not enough :-(

Hysterectomy at 25

4 laproscopic surgeries since 24

Cervical stenosis in C3 & C4

_____________________________________________

 

Meds - percocet  3x day : nexium : xanax :

Supplements : calcium : magenesium :potassium : milk thistle : fish oil : B complex : vit E

____________________________________________

In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. ~Thomas Szasz 


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 3/31/2009 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I can fully understand!!!  Yesterday during my running around I had a kidney attack.  They call it Renal Colic.  I felt alittle more pain so I came home to take a pill.  Then I was on the floor.  I called my sister she came to take me to the hospital.  She was in shock thinking I was dying.  She knows I have kidney issues that are not doing good.
 
During the time we were in the hospital she made comments. "How can you work 12 hours" "You look so healthy" "Your only 39".  The ER doc called my two specialist to see what they wanted to do.  Oh course nothing.  My sister was floored to hear this she couldn't understand that they couldn't do anything. I did find out my cysts are growing from the last scan.
 
I love my job I will work for as long as I can.  Everyone at work knows NOTHING of my CP. I want to try and have as normal and functionable life until I have the transplants in a few years. I work at a 110% at all times even when my kidneys are screaming at me.
 
So if anyone at work found out they wouldn't believe any of the CP.
 
Pain is not something that is tatooed on our foreheads.  Our Pain is invisable to the outside world.  Only we can feel and know how bad it is.  I just don't have the strength to explain this over and over again so I usually sit on it unless its someone really close to me as in husband and children.
 
I think we all wish the world veiwed us in a better light....
 
 
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:24 AM (GMT -7)   
My endocrinlogist says "you'd be normal if it wasn't for the enlarged pituitary gland"
I feel like hitting him everytime he says this, just cause that's all he treats me for
does not mean I'm normal...If I didn't wear make up I'd look whiter than Casper and
I kid you not,,If I had white hair and pink eye's instead of blue I'd be a true albino...
All Doctor's and Nurses should be made to take refresher courses on "COMPASSION"
We treat our animals humainely, why not our fellow person....................

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGZ}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Chartreux - You are so right doctors, nurses and office help need to take a course in Compassion.
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension


uniquelyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1037
   Posted 3/31/2009 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Oh! sometimes it's not what they "say" it's what they "do"...Like, when I am out shopping and I use the dreaded Handicapped Placquard in the window??  I get the "Like SHE really looks handicapped" look. Or the "She's using her grandma's placquard" stare...But what I really like is when somebody actually yells "Let a REAL HANDICAPPED PERSON use that space" "There's nothing wrong with you"...
 
I don't often use it in the first place, but when I do it's because I need to.  My Dr. doesn't give them out willy nilly to anyone that asks for one... Hell, I hate using it anyway. I might as well have a big sticker on my fat butt that says "I'm a freakin loser and I'll need a HovAround very soon" Ha Ha...But seriously, to all those people that judge us................................................. BITE ME!!!!!!!!!
 
mE.

 
We are all in the same boat...unfortunatley it seems like it's sinking...
 
Rhonda
Post Lamenectomy Syndrome
Hemi Lamenectomy
Spinal Fusion
 
120 mg. Methadone daily
60 mg. Oxycodone daily
Lyrica as needed 
 
Type 2Diabetes 
Metformin 500 mg. once daily
                                                                     

 


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
That happened to me too UniquelyMe, so I let my handicapped placquard expire as I got sick of the stares,
even when I used my cane, I'd get those hot stares, so now my hubby drives up to the front of the store and
I take my time getting out of the car, I do get help when i use my cane from some few caring people....
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd, Enlarged Pituitary Gland
******** "We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" from Helen Keller *********

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   

My sister has MS she's only 40.  You should of seen the looks when we went to the flea market and parked in the handicapped section.  The parking attendent was being stubborn trying to wave us to regular parking even though she has a placard on her car and license plates.  Yes we went to the flea market but most of you would understand we both had to take our pain medication and mentally prepare ourselves for the excersize we were taking on.  Many times during the event we had to sit down or take another pill.

I would deal with the stares and mean people anyday because my sister and I had a bonding day.  Took two days to recover but well worth it.


Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Chartreux and LLPLUV Doctors and Nurses are taught about Compassion and not to Pass Judgement over patients! But you can only teach them about what it is,....you can not put Compassion into them, that is something that they just have to possess deep inside of them selves! Unfortunately there are some that get into in the medical field that just just don't have any compassion in them! Or to little! There is no test or requirement in the medical field that says you have to care about people to be able to take care of people! And that is Sad!

White Beard
 

I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on ful disalbility!

Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!)

Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 3/31/2009 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
AMEN to that Whitebeard you hit it right on the nose!!!!!
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13473
   Posted 3/31/2009 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Girls, Girls, Girls, oops & Guys (forget we now have men amongst us)

Who cares whats those old bats think about the handicap placards. Stare them down, don't cower. Do, what I did, get the license plates. Yes, I am 56 yrs old, but I don't look 56 at least thats what people tell me. But, thats beside the point. Whether I look young or old, I am not going to let people dictate to me what I do. I come rolling out of my car with a cane and darn oxygen tank strapped on and the old bats and farts still scower at me. If I am in a rotten mood, I have been known to say "hey you got a problem". When I am not doing good I do get mean & nasty. No where in the handicap rules does it say we have to be a certain age to park our vehicles in those spots. So, for who ever let theirs expire, shame on you, go get another one and display it proudly, to hell with the looks, you need it otherwise your dr would not have signed that form for you to obtain one. For those of us that have them use them you are entitled to that spot like anyone else with a medical problem. Ok, I will shut up on this subject lol.

LL just because you have medical problems does not mean that you cannot have a life. Bravo for you and your Sis taking in the flea market, I love those things. That was the best exercise in the world for you and your Sis. I bet the two of you had a blast together and you probably laughed more that day than you have in a long time. That trip out with your Sis was the best medicine you could have ever taken.

I want to walk in in a Crohns walk next month to raise money. Its the first time to my knowledge they have had something like that here in Ft Worth. Most of the activities are planned in Dallas and I don't do Dallas lol. Its a one mile walk up to three miles. So, I am reading my brochure about it and tell my husband I want to do it. His reply was, Susie you can't walk in something like that, you can't walk across the street let alone something like. Thank you for the vote of confidence. I am still thinking on it. I thought perhaps I would get my daughter to go with me and she could get me help if I needed it. She does alot walks for cancer and  hemachromatosis to raise money for those diseases.

Hang in there gang, there is always room for someone else to come along and screw our day up. lol.  Susie


Post Edited (straydog) : 3/31/2009 3:08:33 PM (GMT-6)


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 3/31/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)   
straydog
I have just the opposite problem, I am 57 I walk bent over with a cane and I have a pure white Santa Beard and everyone thinks I am seventy until they see my hands and my eyes! Oh yeah my hair is still brown but thining on top and I wear it in a long pony tail! You ought to see the looks I get when I pull into a handicap parking place and get out! And I just wave and smile at them!

White Beard
 

I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on ful disalbility!

Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!)

Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


modelmaker
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 168
   Posted 3/31/2009 1:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I know how you all feel about the handicapped card. I'm 64, back so bad I can't drive, loaded up with meds so I probably shouldn't drive even if I could or wanted to so my dear wife drives me everywhere I need to go. I have seen the stares, hear the huffs from people who. as you all say, must be thinking, "right, there goes another 'handicapped' person who seems to be able to walk just fine". They don't see me when I have to sit down after walking only a short distance. The only respect I get from people outside in parking lots or stores are the folks my age or older in my shape or worse. We don't even have to say anything, just a knowing nod or smile will do it. So I really don't give a c--p what they think or even say. I really don't. I just ignore them and carry on. They can do nothing to help and I don't expect their concern. I know that some day, at least for some, their turn in the barrel will come.

Here's one that may make you smile: We went to a store and all the handicapped spaces were taken. Except one shiney BMW with no card or places occupied one space. We had to park some distance away. I copied down the plate number and got a hold of the store manager. He paged the owner of the plate to move the car immediately or it would be towed. I stuck around to see what happened. This rail thin yuppy-puppy came running up with two kids in tow. I leaned on my cane as she ran by and I mentioned that she didn't appear to hurt as bad as me. Her face turned a candy apple red! A brief but fleeting moment of pleasure.

Those handicapped spaces are for people like us because of what has happened to us. We shouldn't feel ashamed to use them. Thanks for caring. Have a better day tomorrow.

Modelmaker

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13473
   Posted 3/31/2009 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Whitebeard, I bet you are a sight with the snow white beard and brown hair in a pony tail. I needed a laugh about right now. With that beard being white you know what people are probably thinking don't you; they figure you probably have white hair and are dying it brown, what a hoot.
I hate to hear that you are walking bent over, I know I was doing the very same thing, I walk with a cane too, have 2 bad knees, plus was falling alot. I am glad you don't get put off by the blue hairs over a parking spot.When I began walking bent over, my former pain dr put me in a back brace. Oh, the pressure of that thing felt good, it sure helped keep me upright. My posture is so bad now. Well, to make a long story short, after my new PM dr takes over, she of course jacked up my meds in my pump and then all of a sudden I am not walkin bent over in pain. Now, some days, yes, I will over do it and I find myself slipping a little. The hardest thing for me is to remember to stand as straight as possible. I have noticed if I get real tired I will stoop over somewhat. By the way, I loved it when you said you just looked at the people and smiled and wave.
 
Modelmaker, oh I got such a kick out of reading your post. I really like your idea and will try to remember it. I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall watching that gal flying out of that store with two kids in tow. She knew the minute she pulled in that spot she had no business being there. Now that sort of thing hacks me off or the ones that will say, oh I don't have my placard with me. Well, my respnse to that is too bad, guess you will have to park in the regular parking. Thats one reason I went ahead with the plates over just a placard. If I am having a good day, I don't always park in the handicap area. I will park down the row and get a little walking in.
 
Didn't mean to hijack this thread.....Susie
                                               

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