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Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/1/2009 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
tongue Think back...way back...maybe even as a very young child or more recent if you prefer. Was there someone who was especially kind to you? Someone that you appreciate over the years and have never forgotten?

For me it's my "extra" mom. She is the mother of the gal who was my best friend growing up. Although she had no idea that I felt like she was extra kind to me, it was just her nature. My mother was a wonderful person but like many from her generation was taught not to show emotion. We were told to go away and play or to go outside because she was talking "adult things". My dad always let me tag along and we had a special relationship but no one was like my 'extra' mom.

As a child I needed to be told I was loved and to be hugged. My extra mom did that. She told me I was extra special because I was adopted...chosen...and that someone wanted me. I know my parents did but it was my extra mom who took the time to tell me. She taught me things and best of all she listened. She just sat down and listened.

She is still living and around 90. We keep in touch by letter but I'm going to visit her at the end of the month and I haven't seen her in ages. I tear up thinking of her because she was the mom that I wished mine had been. I appreciate her and have told her many times in letters. She still calls me her "extra daughter" and "little one". OK, drying my eyes now...lol

Is there someone who was extra kind in your past??
Chutz
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

Post Edited (Chutz) : 4/2/2009 9:54:36 AM (GMT-6)


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3609
   Posted 4/1/2009 11:36 PM (GMT -7)   
As a child my father worked for the Government, infact He was a manager of a Social Security Office when he retired. Anyway everytime he would get a promotion we would have to move to a new place. I moved allot when I was very young! We finally settled down during the summer  when I was between 5th and 6 th grade.  I soon made good friends and one of my best friends, well his father was an industrial artist, and also done photography, he actually made the part catalogs for Sears garden tractors and lawn mowers. Anyway he is the one that taught me photography and film processing and printing. He knew my father was an alcoholic and very abusive, and so  he kind of took me in as his second son! They lived just a few houses down from me and I spent more time at their house than I did at my own. His bussiness was in his basment, with drafting tables everywhere and a fully equipped Dark room and a studio to photograph lawn mowers and all their parts! It was heaven to me, he taught me so much, and  that is how I got into Photography in the Air Force, I already knew all about it and I took a by pass test to get into it in the AF. Anyway I honestly believe it was because of him and the family values that they had and instilled in me that I am who I am today! The man was the Father that I never really had! He was a very good man! After I graduated from high school and  I joined the AF my father got another promotion and my parents moved to another place so everytime I would go home on leave while I was in the miltary I would go to my friends parent house and visit and sometime stay, My father could never understand why I never wanted to stay with them very long when I was on leave, my mother  knew though, and she always knew why I wanted to got visit my friends father,  it was hard for me  because I  was torn, I had a mother that lived one place and a man that was more like a father to me that lived some where else. Anyway he passed away some years ago, in fact it was shortly after my mothers passing, and I cried like a baby at both their  funerals. He was a good man and I still miss him. My real father is also gone now, you know I never did cry at his passing!
Thanks for the post Chutzie, it has been a bitter sweet stroll down memory lane!
 
White Beard
 

I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on ful disalbility!

Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!)

Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 4/2/2009 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh please more people should be posting to this thread.  Chutz you had a wonderful idea.

I had to come home from work early today the pain was alittle to much.  Used the excuse of the flu that has all my coworkers sick.  I'm laying here in bed with my laptop crying reading both your posts.  Not tears of saddness but good tears for the both of you.

I"m from a highly dysfunctional family.  Father went to prison for abusing me, my mother stayed by his side, I went into foster care and was then moved from house to house. (I was a good kid)  Married right out of foster care at 18 had to leave on my 18 birthday.  New husband beat the crap out of me for 10 months until I left him in the cover of night when my son who was 6 days old.  Finally my mother wanted back into my life but that meant having to deal with my father who had just gotten out of prison.  I wanted to be the good person and forgive not forget but forgive.  (Anyone thinking this? No my father was NEVER alone with any of my children!)

I'm still young only 39 haven't meet someone that has any impact on my life yet other than my husband.  But outside no.  I'm a very private person, yes the fear of being hurt is always there.

But to read stories of people that have made impacts in others lifes I LOVE to read about.  It gives me hope. I'm just so HAPPY that the two of you had a safe spot or some light in your life during trying times.

BTW because of the way I was raised my children get tired of hearing me tell them I LOVE THEM!  I hug them all the time, drag them with me whereever I go.  They are 15, 16 and 20. And know that they are loved by mom and dad.  For all of us who has never heard I LOVE YOU from a parent will understand.


Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/2/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
YIKES! I usually only post this in the fibro forum...as a daily fun activity. But as a typical fibromite I goofed and posted it here instead. BUT...if you'd all like I'll post one here each day too.

Chutzie <----ditz for the day...lol
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13451
   Posted 4/2/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Chutzie-I think I like this thread keep it up if we can get enough peeps to respond.

I came from a poor abusive family and both of my parents drank. They divorced when I was 4, but flip flopped back & forth. They drank every Friday & Saturday night. No drinking during the week. They had very good friend that my Dad picked up every Friday and he came to our home for the weekend. He sometimes played referee unless he was too drunk and busy having flashbacks from the war. He was an old fighter pilot back in the war, when he got drunk he sometimes had his flashbacks and was shooting down planes. He was probably one of the most mild mannered people you would ever want to meet. He was like family to us. He built my brother his first electric radio and our first black and white tv. He worked in tv repair and was a genius in that field. Mac never married and he had a sister that never married, he supported and took care of her very well. They lived in an old 4 room shack, his living room was full of tv sets that was given to him from work-he worked at Sears in tv repair after the war. He would take parts off of various tv's and build a set. This is just a litle background.

My best friend in grade school thru jr high had the best mother in the world. She was what I had always wanted in a mother. She knew my family history really well, most did, it was a small town. One of those where everyone knows everyones business. Her mother was the best cook, she worked at the local dry cleaners and when she got home from work she put one of the biggest meals on the table I had ever seen in my life. She cooked things I wasn't getting at home, sometimes food was scarce. I never left her table hungry, she always encouraged me to eat, eat. I spent nearly every weekend at their house that my mother would allow. My friend had the white canopy bedroom outfit that little girls dreamed of at that age. I always felt like it was something magical going on when I was there. This lady showed me a side of life that I never knew existed. I knew I wanted to be like Evelyn, a lady that took care of her family. She is still alive, I think she is maybe 86 or 87. I do call and talk to her every so often. Now the roles have reversed, she lives with her daughter and her daughter takes care of her. She is one great lady.

She really made an impact on my life.....Susie



Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/2/2009 10:31 AM (GMT -7)   
What a marvelous story, Susie! We all need an 'angel' like her in our lives and I'm guessing if we thought about it long enough we all have/had one somewhere.

Chutzie
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")


Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 4/2/2009 11:25 AM (GMT -7)   
I have a very close gf that I met when I was 6 years old. Her and I were best pals for years (even still we are) and we were pregnant with our oldest children together (her daughter is 3 months younger then my youngest). I can remember clearly the day I met her. I had taken my brand new bike out for a spin down our street. It was very steep and had a sharp turn at the bottom before it came to a stop sign leading to the next main street. Anyway I didn't see the sandy spot just before the end of the curve and wrecked my bike, going over the handle bars and scraping my elbows and knees up pretty good. The poor bike ended up hitting a telephone pole and it bent the front wheel. Well here I am 5 years old walking up our alley, crying my eyes out not only because I was bleeding and in pain but I ruined my favorite bike in the whole world (my granddad gave it to me as a present. He fixed it up repainted it and gave it to me on my birthday). My friend was coming down the alley when I caught up with her and she asked me what was wrong. I told her and she walked with me up the alley helping me with my bike and trying to console me. We've been best friends ever since. I can always go to her when things are bad and we talk often (not often enough though). My bf is two years younger then me but we have always been very close.

Anyway besides my hubby she is the only one that I am that close to.

Hugs

Scarred
What doesn't kill us only makes us fight back harder! :P


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/2/2009 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
These are wonderful stories. They remind us that there are good times and great friends for us even tho we live with pain.

Chutz
Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
***************
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

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