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skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 4/20/2009 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Fatherjohn,

I haven't seen you post in a while. I know you are really busy & having a rough time, but I just wanted to check in. Drop us a line if you have a few moments to let us know how you are doing! We all care about you & miss you on the forum!

Skeye

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 4/20/2009 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Skeye, Thanks for checking in on me. I have not been on the forum for awhile. Work is grueling and I am back to 7 days a week. I had to let a staff member go so I am filling in. By the time I work 12 to 14 hours a day there is not much left of me. The money is too short to hire and I can't work any other staff more than 40 hours a week. It is only by the grace of God that I am able to continue. My pain has eased up some but the stress it taking a toll. I was to have the spinal stimulators installed last week but they have postponed until May 12th. In the mean time I am not sure what to do as I can't go on disability and jobs are hard to fing especially if you are listed as permanantly and totally disabled. I wish I could just say I was not going to go in but I have only a couple staff left and I have to take care of them. I am working hard at trying to get some volunteers in that will cover some of the hours so I can take a break. I am leaving town later this week as my son is graduating from boot camp at Ft. Knox. I will handle everything by phone and hope nothing to big comes up. I have already worked 12 hours today and am waiting for a phone call to pick one of my students up from the hospital where I dropped her off a little bit ago. I don't like to complain as many people don't have a job and the one I have allows me to work through my pain since I set my pace (as the director). I have a total of 60 students and they all have emergencies everyday it seems like. That is why I work with them as there is very little resourses for drug addicts getting back on their feet. If I can keep the pain level down for a little longer, I hope to have some help so I am not working so much. I am in the middle of a fundraiser that is May 9th. We are having a Banquet with the theme "The Prayers of a Mothers Heart". The focus is mothers who have watched their son or daughter lost in addictions and how great it is to have them back and going to school, clean and sober. By the time I get home, I am usually to tired to focus long to read or write. At least I have all my teachers in place so I am not teaching any classes. I would not be able to make it right now if I did. I will try and stop in again soon. I miss the support as well as trying to help others on this forum. It is a very important avenue for us who find very little relief from the ugly pain. Blessings to all. 

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 4/20/2009 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Ahem. (clearing throat)

Ahem....(still trying to clear throat).

I guess I can't clear my throat, so I can't give you a lecture, fatherjohn! smhair smilewinkgrin

I know you're helping others. I can understand your struggle having so many responsibilities. I only hope you don't eventually just collapse and do some irreversible damage.

We will continue to miss you, and send you healing energy.

(((((((((((Fatherjohn))))))))))))))

PaLady

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 4/20/2009 8:39 PM (GMT -7)   
PAlady, I am still here. My daughter who turned 18 last week took pitty on me and agreed to go pick my student up at the hospital. I am breaking every boundary that I teach others. I just went through tomorrows plans with my wife. I start at the center at 7 am and with a special dinner and meeting with young leaders at a convention tomorrow night, we won't be home until midnight. She is wanting me to slow down as well. My HW friends, my wife, and my doctor, are you all wrong or am I looking for more trouble. I wish it was as easy as not going in for a day. Thanks for being kind to me and not YELLING at me.  

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 4/21/2009 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes I think we need to be busy as it takes our minds off the pain, but your going on overload and it will catch up to you..
I just hope it'll not be really bad when it catches you... this'll be more of a physics lesson, everything has a equal and opposite
reaction...and I think you can take that hint....try to slow down, when you can...lots of soft hugz from chart........
(((((((((((((((((((((Father John))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 4/21/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Fatherjohn,
I know this is hard, but it sounds like it may be time to have some serious discussion with your wife about future options for the two of you. You've probably had this already, and I'm not saying you have to quit your job tomorrow or anything, but you sound like me in that you're reaching some type of crossroads and we go kicking and screaming, don't we?

Also, you know no one - not even someone who's healthy - can keep up the pace you're going forever. With health problems at some point you're going to hit your brick wall (like me...I wonder if we'll have the same color bricks? LOL).

Another thing that I know is hard....do you have a supervisor or someone you talk with about professional issues? You mention the boundary violations, and you know that's just the start of it. They are there for a reason. I myself have to question my mental abilities to be with the few people I do still see. Thankfully, none are in serious shape any longer; sadly, most are in better shape than I am!

Just knmow I realize this is not an easy thing to tackle. Maybe all of us are wrong? :-)

Hugs,

PaLady

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 4/21/2009 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww, (((((((((((fatherjohn!)))))))))))). I'm glad that your pain is a little better, but sorry to hear about the stress. I wish it wasn't necessary, but it sounds like there is no one good answer to your problems. I will pray for you that you find the strength to get through each day. We all miss you here on the forum. Try to take a break everyone now & again, if only for five minutes.

Skeye

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 4/21/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
F.J.> I don't know how I missed this post yesterday! Sorry, I must have been stuck in my own little world again! Dag nabit, you need to get a plan in motion before you have a major health failure! It just can't be healthy the way you just keep pushing yourself to the max and then some! You are one of the most caring, compassionet people here on the board! Always helping others, so what about FatherJohn??? I know it's hard for you, you are carrying that whole place on your back fearing that if you don't, no one else will! But if you keep doing it, they will keep letting you do it! Do the powers that be know about your health issues? You say that you are the Boss but there must be someone above you??? The future is a scarry thing, I'm going through simillar issues right now. I just don't know whats going top happen with me but whatever does happen, I do know that my family doesn't deserve me to work myself into the grave! I realized that this week after going back to work too early and hurting my neck. I'm scarred to death that I did something very bad to it. I'm really mad at myself for not thinking about my family before being so stupid and going back early! You and I are alike in some ways. Do you think your wife deserves what the consiquences might be of you pushing yourself so hard? I'ms sorry I'm being so harsh and I don't know the whole story, maybe I'm yelling at you when I should be yelling at myself because we are alike! I don't know, I guess I'm just scarred for both of us!
Your Good Friend,
Pete
PS> I'm really glad you are going to your son's graduation!! I went to both of my son's and they were great! You should be very proud! Tell him thank you from all your friends at H.W.C.P. or just some friends!!!


56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis in port in Thailand and the other on a Gator Freighter USS Bataan stationed in Norfolk, Va. to be deployed to the Middle East in early May. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 

Post Edited (Pete's trips) : 4/21/2009 3:40:52 PM (GMT-6)


fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 4/22/2009 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Pete, In deed we are very much alike. I feel caught and I am not sure how to get out of it. I am told I have to raise more money. To raise more money it takes more time. People are not donating as much as they used to. I wonder why? I have more students and they rely on me. The organization knows they can't replace me and the school would probably close if I quit or break down. I don't think in my shape I couldn't get another job unless Walmart needs another greeter. I am not eligible to file for disability. I can't retire yet I have a few years to reach 59 1/2. The organization can't give me any money or staffing help. My job is to train staff for our other centers. The drs admit that when I work the long hours its not good but at the same time, when I am working I don't listen to the pain. I don't get hit with that until I get home and quit for the night then the pain seems to increase or at least I start noticing it. We reloacated the school a little over two years ago and what has the housing market done since we bought two years ago. I feel trapped. Work is a relief but also it is killing me. I am the one the students look to for their strength and direction. The cycle goes on, and on and on and on ..... Ok, how was your day. At least I get to handle things from the phone the next few days as I go see my son. Hope you are doing better.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 4/26/2009 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
FJ,
Sorry I haven't been on my pc this weekend and didn't get to read your reply till now. I'm sorry for beating on you the way I did. I think I was really beating on myself because our health, pain and working long hours are very similar. You however have a very noble cause other than yourself to work for> helping others!!!!. Me on the other hand work only for financial reasons for my family. I also have a couple of years before I reach 59 1/2 and I'm not sure about the disability thing either evan though I have a big list of problems. Just quitting and hoping that they will give me SSDB scarres the hell out of me! Also as much as I love to build fishing rods and tye flys, I really don't think I could make much money doing it and there still that pain thing always following me around. Could I sit and build rods all day w/ my neck and back pain? I doubt it. I also know what happens when people who have hobbies they love dearly descide to try and earn money off it. Thats the reason I never fish in any tounaments. It changes everything! You get so worried about catching or lousing a fish, it's not fun anymore! So it's back to work tomorrow morning> get up at 4:00am and for now, the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on> Brother, I feel your pain!!!!!!!
Your flyfishin buddy,
Pete
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, one on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis in port in Singapor and the other on a Gator Freighter USS Bataan stationed in Norfolk, Va. to be deployed to the Middle East in early May. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 

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