Post Edited (anice) : 5/6/2009 8:24:37 AM (GMT-6)
I always find your posts compassionate and caring.....like PALady and Anice have said, how can we help you? We are here for you ALWAYS!
Post Edited (White Beard) : 5/6/2009 10:57:34 AM (GMT-6)
I left work early tonight (10 hour day) and thought I would take a break. Then I spent 2 hours on the phone. Yes I needed the break but the phone calls were from students who have made major break throughs and victories in their lives. Now I will take a break.
PAlady, I appreciate your upfront and honest views. As somebody said recently, they expect nothing less from you. Yes, the thought of reorganization has been discussed. Yes, the whole issue of is it healthy for the school to be in this kind of situation has been addressed. We are asking alot of questions and not coming up with the answers that are making since yet. We continue to ask more questions. The part that the Corp. does not acknowledge is the CP. That does not come into the equation. They take a very firm stand on opiads as they are the number 1 misused medications. That is why I am not even sharing what I presently take as I don't want it to be an issue. They have other directors who face difficult seasons but without the CP. I try hard not to allow that to be an issue.
Skeye, Thanks for the encouragement. I can say that the thought of giving up does creep in but as the possitive side emerges, like the phone calls tonight, it fuels my perseverence. Yes, I know I can't keep this up. My age and my disability are factors but I know I am overdoing it.
Anice, I try hard to build people up and not tear the down. I felt that my work issues are irrelevant to this fourm although my pain is. I also know that my work does cause my pain to increase but no one here can change my work schedule.
I know people care and the fact that I make the decision to try and help others at the expense of myself, I deserve to be addressed. As I stated, we have our major fundraiser this weekend and the a directors meeting Monday and Tuesday as wekk as the trial stim implant Tuesday. I have made the decision to cancel my trip Wed. and Thur. and take the consequenses. As I said, they don't deal with the CP so from their view it should not limit me. I have purposely not mentioned the organization that I work for as I don't want them to get a bad name as they do great work all over the world helping addicts. I hope that you all know that I am not afraid of being real, I started several threads that made many of us wet our keyboards with tears. Thanks for caring.
When I read your last thread, I felt like there was someone out there like me. I get angry about the CP and feel I can't help me and I go work that much more to try to forget about the pain. I help other people and care for them, work many hours to run myself past exhaustion. The bills barely get paid and the pain always seems to wake up and say helloooo, I am back. Its a demon sometimes, but I do think you need a break sometimes to breath and enjoy life the best way your body will allow. Take care cshelp