THE ARIVAL OF PAIN

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Ms Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 5/17/2009 11:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Pain - it sneaks up on you in the middle of a beutiful spring day.  The sun is shining and the trees are in bloom. Very insidiously the pain begins.  It stalks you, creeping up when you are least expecting it. It gnaws and chews. its teeth grind together until all you can feel is pain. Joy is gone ,happiness is gone and fear sets in.  The fear that there is nothing that you can do to stop this intruder from sabotaging you life.  This intruder that causes you to not care what else is happening in the world.  That your only quest is freedom from this destructive animal that wants to occupy your whole life -with no room for anything else.  The burning pain, the feeling of dry ice, the sharp knives and the pitchfork that stabs relentlessly into the flesh of my foot.  The aura of pain that surrounds my foot is almost visable and sometimes extends to my stump (fortunately not often).  I m wearing narcotic patches. I have  spinal cord stimulator.  I have  vicodin es for breakthru pain.  Why is nothing working?  I turn the scs up to its highest settings.  I take the vicodin.  It is not the day to change my patches.  What in God's name is wrong?  My patches have come loose.  The bioclusive patch that covers them has come loose caught on my bra strap.  I have someone put another bioclusive patch over to see if I can make them work.  It will be at least a full day before I feel any relief.  All I can do is take the vicodin es on a regular basis until relief begins.  it begins very slowly and it leaves the way it comes.  And suddenly I can breathe!  The pain has retreated. 
MsKitty

Severe diabetic neuropathy, 3 stents, arthritis, R/BK amputee
 
Duragesic pain patches, Vicodin ES, Elevil, insulin and lots of other meds


fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/18/2009 12:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Ms. Kitty, there are times when each of us read a post and we want to say something since we cannot do something to make a big and noticable difference. Right now I sense that even though you might be on the receding side of the pain, that does not diminish the path of destruction that is left behind. I once moved to a small town in Indiana to pastor a church. As I learned the history of the town, a tornado destroyed about 80% of the town and then it was rebuilt. I only saw what had been rebuilt and it looked alot nicer than other small towns in the area. But people who lived through it were constantly reminded of new building and the ones that were there before. They knew the depressed thoughts about losing everything. Even as I visited people in their homes, conversation went back to before the town rebuilt. The point, we can present after the pain has receded and we have experienced relief but the reality of where it was before is never removed. As the towns people watched and waited for each storm to see if it would happen again, even when we are having a good day we are aware that at anytime the sirens anouncing the storm of pain can go off at any moment. Your ability to capture the feelings by words is inspiring when I realize the pain you are speaking of is cruel and relentless and even when describing the brutality, you do so with grace. I am touched by you words.  

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/18/2009 12:33 AM (GMT -7)   
MsKitty,
What an eloquent description of a life's journey with pain. I can't say anything more than what fatherjohn already has. Your words are truly moving, of the sort that just may give someone else a glimpse of how pain is ever present in our lives. It's either coming, or going, or at full thrust but it's never really "gone".

Thank you for sharing.

PaLady

Hound-Dog
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 183
   Posted 5/18/2009 12:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Well put Ms. Kitty. Great description.It painted a picture in my mind of your suffering.Take care and may God Bless You.

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/18/2009 7:35 AM (GMT -7)   
MsKitty, I was touched by your post. Your description of pain was in a way I have never heard before. It was beautifully described. And so many of us can relate to it. I do hope you are feeling some better now. But like you said it comes on all of the sudden.

I noticed that you are on elavil. It is an old med. I too am on it. It was given to me for insomnia. I was also told it has a pain component in it that helps. And I was told it was an antidepressant- a three in one. I was wondering what it was given to you for, if you don't mind my asking. I am on the 10mg and I take 1-2 at bedtime. Lately I have been taking the two. I am thinking I may need to ask my doctor to change it or increase the mg. at my visit next week.

I do wish you well. And we are all here to give you support. I wish there was something I could do to help.
Anice

Frenchdude
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 5/18/2009 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Oh Misskitty,

I so can relate. My heart goes out to you. I wish I'd be there to give you a hug even though we don't know each other. Not knowing you, I have to ask: are you alone? In these hours of affliction, is there anyone for you, to take care of you and make it easier on you? A husband, children...

Hopefully, or else keep on writing, vent as much as you want. I am all ears.

Frenchdude


Ms Kitty
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 37
   Posted 5/18/2009 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for all your kind replies.  Yes, I have my wonderful mate - we met on eHarmony after my husband of 43 years  died of colon cancer and 4 months later I lost my leg.  We cannot marry because I would lose my social security,  It is so wonderful that when the pain is at its worse I can curl up next to Bob and he will just hold me and make me feel cherished.  Pain is bad but loneliness and pain is unindurable.
 
Tony - you almost have to describe chronic pain as a person - just regular words don't work: hurt, sharp, burning.  I have always said boiling oil but I like your description better.  Breakthrus are the absolute pits.
 
Anice -I was given elevil as a sleep aid.  At one time I was taking 150 mg a night.  With all my other meds I take 50 mg.
 
MsKitty
Severe diabetic neuropathy, 3 stents, arthritis, R/BK amputee
 
Duragesic pain patches, Vicodin ES, Elevil, insulin and lots of other meds

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 8:55 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,069 posts in 300,986 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151152 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, JesperTrottier.
265 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
imagardener2, Michael_T, ASAdvocate, ks1905, colitisteen98, Traveler, JamesE, multifacetedme, joee


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer