Dr. appt. yesterday

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anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/27/2009 7:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Good morning,friends, Well, this is my 2nd attempt to post. First one,words highlighted blue,then proof it was gone. So, I'll try one more time. If it doesn't work this time,then I guess it wasn't meant to be!!
 
I had an appt. yesterday. He wants me to do PT 3 x's a week for 4 weeks. I asked when I could return to work and he said that we'll discuss it when I go back to him in a month. I was a little disappointed. I was told recovery time for the surgery was 6-8 weeks. Now it is looking like 9+ weeks. I am ready to go back. But I know I am not able yet...I told him that my back pain is better. But I am still hurting in my hips and buttocks alot and the pain is worse on the left side. That is why he wants me to do the PT. I set my 1st appt. up for next Wednesday. I will do what he wants me to do. What choice do I have?  I can't go back until he releases me,anyway. I know I have to let my body heal and recovery properly. I just wasn't planning on it taking this long...I did tell him that I am walking, just not the 3x's a day he wants me to. I have done it a couple times, but it increased my pain alot and it just wore me out,completely. But I will get there.I have been walking atleast twice a day. I will get there.
 
I have to call my nursing supervisor, the office manager and the short term disability lady today and explain what he said. I sure hope they don't replace me and I lose my job! I have been there 13 1/2 years. I love my job and the children. I do miss it alot. I was telling a friend that most people would be glad to have this much time off, and would be kicking up their heels. But I am not most people. I haven't enjoyed this at all. I have been hurting more than I have ever hurt in my life. And I am not a tv person. I very seldom even turn it on during the day. That is probably  because I work in peds. I relish quiet time. Just the sound of tv gets on my nerves. I spend most of the day on the computer or reading. And I am fine with that. I will try to watch some tv and see if it's any better for me now... I know that sounds strange, as many of you enjoy it. But that is just the way I am.
 
It seems like before, the day would go by so slow. And now it seems to go by too fast. It doesn't make any sense to me. I just don't understand that...
 
I am trying to work on myself a little. It seems that I complain too much. I am going to try to focus on the good things in my life,the things I am thankful for,the people who love me. And try
to complain less. It is quiet challenging,but I am still going to try.
 
Husband and I had a "come to Jesus" meeting over the weekend. I had my aunt to pick up my son on Sat. and she kept him until Monday. I know how sensitive he is when it comes to me. I was crying sooo much and I didn't want him to see me like that. My daughter is 4 and she never knew anything was wrong... Anyway, I told him if he didn't bring a paycheck home on Friday and EVERY week from now,that he would have to leave this house. I would take nothing less than that. He was a man and he should support his family. It wouldn't be my fault that he had no place to go. I simply don't care! I told him to get all the adult material out of this house! I would not tolerate that any more. It made me sick to my stomach. If he needed professional help on that, I would help him seek it. But that behavior will not be allowed here anymore. I know it was a huge addiction, but it was one he brought on himself and he would have to deal with it. He did bag up everything and it went to the trash. So far, he has done okay with it. I haven't noticed anything on the computer. I know the sites he was going to and I had them blocked! He is working today. So we'll see what happens on Friday. I explained to him that I made it alone before I met him. And I could make it alone, without him again. But there were going to be some big changes he was going to have to make...It all depends on him...
 
I am going to bed for awhile. I have a migraine and need to sleep it off.
Anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/27/2009 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
Good for you for setting the boundary with your husband that needs to be set. He'll probably be able to make change for the short term, but maintaining it is another ballgame altogether. So even if he helps for awhile as you heal, that might be a plus. But try not to set your expectations too high.

As far as healing time, I'm not surprised the doctor extended it. As I've said to you before, you want this to heal right, and that may take time....probably longer than the doctor has wanted to tell you. But the start of PT is good - just don't overdo it, and tell the PT whenever you have pain. "No pain no gain" is NOT the rule anymore. Your body is still forming scar tissue and that can make a huge difference about how that nerve heals. And remember nerves takes months or even longer to heal.

Just make sure you've got al the paperwork in order for your work. Your doctor's office will need to sign forms extending the leave. Make sure they do it correctly and call and follow up with your H.R. person to make sure he/she has received everything they need in time. I always had my doctor's office send me a copy, so I could review it, make sure the dates were correct, etc.

Take care - and try to do something soothing. Sounds like you've had quite a stressful weekend.

PaLady

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/27/2009 1:49 PM (GMT -7)   
PALady, Thanks for your reply. It always means alot to me. And my expectaions for my husband are not high. His track record is not good with me. It is up to him if we make it or if we don't. I do not intend to do this again. It was a very hard weekend. And it took alot out of me. My BP was way up. I had chest pains, and really thought about going to the ER a couple of times. I have high blood pressure and have been on meds for 22 years for it.My daddy passed away at 29 from a heart attack. So I do not need to be put in that situation again. I am just now trying to relax a little. I can eat now. Before I just couldn't swollow enough to eat very much at all.

I am still waiting for the short term disability lady to call me back, I left a message yesterday and one today. And I will call her again tomorrow. I did talk to my office manager and I couldn't reach the nursing supervisor but did speak to someone in her dept. and she said she will relay the message. But, I don't know her, so I will try to contact the nursing supervisor again tomorrow. I need to know what else I have to do in order to be in compliance. And hopefully, I'll get more info tomorrow. I am keeping up with contact attempts to cover myself,if it is ever questioned. I can't rely on my memory.

I know I need to heal properly to recover. And I will go to Pt next week and get started with it. I don't know what to expect b/c I've never been before,but I guess I'll find out soon.I will do whatever is necessary.
Anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/27/2009 2:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
Really, a good PT can be extaordinarily helpful. I think some of us shared our experiences your earlier thread. The first visit is an evaluation, and they may push and pull a bit more to see what your capabilities are, but do not stay quiet when something hurts!! I have a wonderful PT now, but sadly my benefits will end soon. Still, we've gone about as far as he can take me, and I have a lot of home equipment now. My bedroom looks like it could be a PT office!!

After surgery, my PT went slowly and did a lot of heat, massage, stim, ultrasound, etc. I have also learned the hard way that if a PT isn't listening to me and causing too much pain I am not going to let them continue. But don't be afraid; just be assertive. I actually love my PT sessions because I get all these big heat packs that I couldn't possibly have at home!!! Also, my PT was able to get me a free stim unit for home use and if an external stimulator (like a TENS unit) helps you, you may want to ask about getting a home unit for the long run - especially while your insurance might pay for it.

Chest pain! Please - don't hesitate to go to the E.R. for those, especially with your and your family history. After all this you're going through for your spine, you definitely want to take care of your heart!

(((((((((Anice)))))))))

PaLady

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 5/27/2009 6:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice,

Way to with putting the terms on the table. I can't imagine that that was an easy thing for you to do!
I've always felt that the recovery time that doc's give you is much much less than it actually is. I was told 9 months for all of my shoulder surgeries, and it took me about a year and a half until they felt somewhat normal & I could more-or-less return to normal functioning. My mother is a PT, and she always told me to expect that recovery would take up to a year for any major surgery.

I hope PT goes well for you. I'm sure it will be painful at first, so please, please don't let them push you too far, too fast. I was injured by PT that way, enough that I had to have more surgery down the line. I tried to tell them no (they were trying to put me on fairly heavy weights 2 wks post-op, when I had a strict no weights order for at least 2 mo's, and then nothing more than a couple of pounds for the first 6 mo) but they kept insisting, and I finally gave in & just did what they wanted. Big mistake. I have had so many horrible "God-like" PT's that I just don't trust PT's at all anymore (I won't go into all my horror stories here, so I don't scare you off). But, hopefully you have an extremely positive experience! Best of luck with your PT!

Skeye

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/28/2009 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
PALady and Skeye, Thank you for your response. I will surely give PTa try. Who knows? It might do some good. I want badly to return to "normal". I am just tired of huring all the time. The majority of the worst pain remains in my buttocks and hips. My buttocks feel like they are physically "clinched" 24/7. I know that may sound bizarre, but it is all too true and very painful. And both of my hips hurt. I still don't really even know why this is like this.

I will go into PT with an open mind. I am not good at being assertive,period. It is a big character defect with me which stems from childhood. But I will tell them if something hurts too bad. Lord knows I have dealt with enough pain,without unnecessarily adding to it. I am crying alot this week. I guess from the pain,not being able to return to work(although I know I am not able),not being able to do the things I used to do,how this has effected my children,husband situation...The list goes on and on. But I am doing my best, it just isn't too good right now...

Husband situation: We are talking. He is being thoughtful and trying to be caring. I am just pretty much at a stand still. Just taking it day by day. My expectations are practical.I have learned not to expect too much. He knows where I stand and I stand firmly,for once in my life.Yesterday I got an unexpected suprise. While he was on his way to pick up the kids from school, he got pulled over and long story short,got arrested!!! It happened about 1 mile from my house. They did let him use the cell phone and call me so I could make arrangements for the kids. I called my best friend(who works at the office) to go get my kids and take them to her house. My brother in law came and got me so I could go get my car from down the street.Then I waited for the phone call from husband. So my sister in law and brother in law picked me up again to take me to the police station to get him out.It was all about an old fine he somehow didn't pay long before we were ever together. My husband had my drivers' license and my debit card(he was suposed to go to the store for a few things for me). I got that back and we went to the ATM for the $80.00. And then, had to go back to the store for change, they wanted it seperate-$50.00 for the fine and $30.00 for some processing fee. I tried to explain to the officer that I was recovvering from back surgery,could they please just take the $80.00 and make the seperate change there. And ofcourse they would not. It ended up taking some 3 1/2 hours to get all this done-more waiting than anything...Anyway, he got out. They took us home. And then we went to pick up the children-another hour drive-there and back. It was a nightmare for me. I was way passed time for my Lortab and was hurting horribly by the time we got home. Husband felt so bad for all of this. I felt bad for imposing on his sister and her husband and for my friend,who had to go to work today. I was almost in tears from the pain I was in and from the muscle spasms in my back I was having by the time we got home. It was alot of car riding and some driving that brought all that on. It was too much. Husband seemed quiet different although. He said how sorry he was for all of it. And said how he did some major thinking(I imagine!) about how he has been acting,how important me and the children were to him and how things are going to be different from now on. I just listened...So maybe something good did happen to him from this. It sounds to me like it was a definite eye opening experience for him. Only time will tell. I told him that his words just don't mean alot to me at the time. And that actions speak louder than any words from him. He knows that I am very upset with him and all of that last night was way more than I needed at the time or any time for that matter. It was a long night to put it mildly!!! And we overslept this morning in getting the kids to school and daycare on time. Sorry for all the drama. I just needed to get this out,although it is quiet embarassing for me...

And the chest pains: I have had them many times. My blood pressure gets high and I get chest pains sometime. I have been to the ER for this many times over the years.When my BP gets stable,the pains stop. My ER copay is $125.00. And money is tight right now.I did not go to the ER over the weekend b/c I knew it was b/c of stress that brough all of it on-the high BP and the chest pains. I took a Nitoglycerin and a aspirin and laid down and tried to calm myself as best as I could. I just waited it out... It may not have been the best thing to do, but I just don't need to get into debt any deeper. I am going to call my internal med. doctors' office in a few minutes and try to get the Xanax called in for me. I know I do need it. I have taken it for 10 years off and on, and the rx. lasts for a long time. I will just hope that under the circumstances they will not make me come in right now. I won't tell them everything-they would put me in a padded cell!!!lol I will just tell them that I did have back surgery,and am under a tremendous amout of stress and having alot of anxiety. That should do it, mildly put.

I wish you all a low pain day today. Thank you as always for listening to all my drama filled life. I promise I am not psycho.!!! And I will continue to try to do my best. My pain is pretty high this morning. I am going to take it easy today and get alot of rest and relaxation, as much as I can. I sure could use it today.
Anice

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 5/28/2009 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
anice
I for one am extremely proud of you! yeah Way to go anice!  Didn't you also have problems with your husband using your medications? How has that been going? I am glad to hear that you are setting up standards and being the adult in your family, it certainly sounds like that is needed! Especially with children  being around! They need to have somebody  in the family that acts appropriately,  like an adult should!!! I know all this must be difficult for you! But remember we are all here to help and support you!

anice I think PT will be good for you, but keep in mind the first few times you will probably have a little increase in pain. But they will help you with that! I am glad to hear that you are doing better! I want to Thank-You for all the support you have shown me, especially with everything you have going on!
I do wish you well!

White Beard!


  I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

Post Edited (White Beard) : 5/28/2009 9:16:50 AM (GMT-6)


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/28/2009 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
WhiteBeard, Thank you. And you know what? I am starting to be proud of myself too, for the first time in my life. After years and years it has taken me, something finally clicked, people only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. I,for one, am tired of getting what I have been getting. I have had a gutful!!! I will no longer tolerate it anymore. I do love my husband. I do know that I am not in love with him anymore. It may come back one day and then again,it may not. I will see how he does. If he will do the things he is supposed to do without being asked,or begged,we may be okay. I will not hope for too much. And I will not wait for a long time. It is up to him to grow up and take responsibility for his family and support us. He will have to work everyday,come h.. or high water,no matter what.
Only time will tell.

And yes, he did take my pain meds and my sons' ADHD meds before. No, he hasn't touched either of those in a very long time. I still count them from time to time,out of habit. But he has left them alone. I do write down every pill I take. It helps me keep track for that reason and also so I won't have to remember what time I took my last one. My memory is all mush right now! Imagine that!!lol

I have been concerned about you and all the things you have been going through. I know it has been hard on you. And I know you are tired of all the added stress you have due to your health and the divorce and the house. I want you to take it easy. And keep us posted on how you are doing. You are such an asset to all of us. And you are one of the very strengths of this forum, to help make it as wonderful for all of us that it is. Please take care of yourself!!!
Anice

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 5/28/2009 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice you sound so remarkably positive. Its just a fantastic turnaround from your posts last week. I'm just so happy you've been taking control, I'm sending you some positive empowerment cyber vibes!!! Really thinking of you and I hope the PT provides some relief for you, golitho

edt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 5/29/2009 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Anice,

You have been through so much! It sounds like you have reached the point where your tolerance level has been exhausted!  GOOD FOR YOU, once you reach this point it does seem easy to speak your mind and stick to it!

I will pray that you stay strong and get better each day!  Stay focused on YOU and your recovery, let him step in and take care of the children so YOU can take care of YOU! 

XXOO
Patti


Tony McGuire
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 483
   Posted 5/29/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   
My wife, Liz, has a pretty good way of looking at how to view relationships.

You can change yourself, and only yourself.
The other person is the only only one who can do the same.

If you go at a relationship expecting to change your partner, you are likely in for disappointments. If you are willing to change yourself, then you can likely make the relationship work. The same applies to the 'other' person.
Wife: Liz, the choice of a lifetime
Dogs: Koshka Prayer & Chomp Prayer
Meet My Wife And Me

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