Implant Postponed

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fatherjohn
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/28/2009 7:06 PM (GMT -7)   
I received a call from the surgeon's office today and they have postponed my implant for June 8th. They stated that there was a scheduling error. I believe that could be possible. The sugeon was also hesitant to do the implant as I have told him and my PMS that it did not reduce the pain at night. They also know that I work long hours and that I try not to take meds during the day and that while I was on the trial, I ceased taking methadone during the day altogether for 3 days as per the PMS' instruction. The surgeon admitted to me that it is hard to believe that I am in that much pain if I work so many hours and don't take many meds during the day. Recently there was a volunteer in the office and he stated he was shocked at the pace I worked as it was constant for the entire day. The fact is I mask the pain by working and being mentally engaged all day. now it appears that this is working against me. Instead of encouragement for limiting the number and amout of narcotic pain relievers, I am in question because I don't take enough. Forget the fact that I can't sleep at night due to pain. Oh well, I guess I will just have to start sitting at home and allow the pain to take over rather than working. This does not make since to me but I agree that there is a since of logic involved. The surgeon and the PMS work together and as some of you know, I am very limited as to options regarding doctors.
 
 

anice
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 5/28/2009 8:45 PM (GMT -7)   
FatherJohn, I am so glad that you posted today. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I am so sorry the implant has been postponed. I know you are disappointed. I cannot imagine that they have concerns knowing that you work all the hours that you work and try to do so not taking pain meds. I think it should speak highly of your character. You are dedicated to your work and I am sure that you want to be clear minded as you can be. I also went all day at work without taking any meds. I took them as soon as I got home in the afternoons. It was hard for me and I was miserable to say the least. I understheand you not being able to sleep at night b/c of the pain. By the time you get your meds, I am sure your pain is out of control by then. It doesn't seem they should be holding this against you!!! Has it been rescheduled? I know that you are dedicated to your work. And you work long hours. I do see their "logic" in it. But they need to take into account as to why you do this. It doesn't seem fair at all to me. Has it been postponed for good or just temporarily? Please keep us updated. You know how important you are to all of us here. You have been so helpful to all of us. And I hope that you know that we are all here for you, all the way.
Anice

fatherjohn
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/28/2009 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice, Yes the new date is June 8th. I have to rework my schedule and will be ready. Thanks for your kind words. I was off line for a day or so and I have been reading posts today to catch up. I also am proud that you set boundaries. Now I want to encourage you to keep them. if you show weaness, then trhe boundaries will not be respected. I hope that you heal even though it is taking longer. Try to lay off the stress. Like we have a choice sometimes. Have a great day tomorrow.

PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/28/2009 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Fatherjohn,
All I could think of as I read the end of your post was that, as I'm sure you know, there's a middle ground. I know you love your work, and it is very meaningful, but pushing your pain on the back burner for those long hours likely lets it get, as Anice also says, out of control. That may be why it's so bad at night. I know you've thought of all of this, but I have to wonder about both of your doctors being hesitant. Maybe there's something to it. Not necessarily that you should't get the SCS, but that even with it, to get maximum benefit, figuring out how to balance your work life a little more may mean you can manage the pain much better.

I know you're working with your Board to restructure somet things, but I can't help feeling not setting boundaries at work is motivated (mostly unconsciously) by several motives. Nothing bad, but maybe some form of avoidance. I feel like I'm rambling again so feel free to ignore this! I also hope I didn't say anything that offended. As usual my mind isn't as clear as I wish it was.

I'm having my colonoscopy & encoscopy on June 8th. Gee, what a party we could have! LOL

PaLady

fatherjohn
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/28/2009 9:23 PM (GMT -7)   
PAlady, lets party. If it is ok, I'll stick with my procedure but maybe a group rate. On the other note, I know there is something to the balance. I keep the pain at bay and at times I wonder what will happen when I cut back. Maybe the pain will increase during the day, or I'll notice it more and possibly not so much at night if I don't get behind. I guess I will be finding out soon.   

skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 5/28/2009 10:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi fatherjohn,

I'm sorry to hear that you will have to wait another week before getting the implant. I know how frustrating it can be when a procedure you were looking forward to gets postponed (by "looking forward to" I mean looking forward to the potential for relief, but not the procedure itself, which you have to go through first. More pain and discomfort are never welcomed). I also understand the problem you are facing regarding your medication schedule. I too, do a pretty good job of hiding my pain during the day. Additionally, because I am so much more active during the day, there is much more for me to "distract" myself with. But at night, all becomes quiet & my pain really hits me! You'd think your doctor would understand this. I can also understand not wanting to take medication during the day. Not because you don't desperately need it, but because it may interfere with your work, etc, and therefore, at such time, it would not be worth the side effects. Again, common sense, you'd think a PM, as well as a surgeon, would understand.

Chronic pain is not like acute pain. There is no end in sight. Yes we are always in pain, often severe, debilitating pain, but life goes on with or without us. We have to learn to deal with our pain; to incorporate it into our lives & our schedules, so to speak, rather than to succumb to it every minute of every day. It is amazing, actually, how "well" we can often mask our pain (to the untrained eye). I know that I do it every day. The only time I let my guard down is when I am alone. It is exhausting, absolutely exhausting, both mentally & physically, to pretend that you are something that you are not: that you are okay. I don't see the act of not taking pain medication during the day as an indicator that you are not in pain, or not in "severe enough" pain. I see it as a brave, bold act, and a well thought out decision as to how you can best live your life with CP & not let the pain, and all that comes with it, beat you. Sometimes I feel like doctors just need to step back & look at things from the patient's point of view. Experiencing just one day of what we go through would give them much better insight, and allow us, the patients, better treatment.

Many hugs to you fatherjohn! You are a very strong, devoted spirit. Don't let these arogant doctors make you think otherwise! And don't let them bully you into something that you are not ready for. I know...easier said than done.
Skeye

Post Edited (skeye) : 5/28/2009 11:25:23 PM (GMT-6)


fatherjohn
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/28/2009 10:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Skeye, After reading your post, I was amazed at how well you described it. Do you think that the medical field would understand more if we did not mask our pain?  I hate the thought of having to slow down just to prove that the pain is there. But then again, as PAlady states it, maybe by not overworking, I would not be in as much pain later. I know I have been there before and the way I work was adapted because there was no relief and to keep going I am where I am at. After discussing this with my wife, I think that I will try once again to locate another PMS in Oregon that will take my Ins. If not, I will have to evaluate going back to Montana. Either way, I am not ready to give up.  

skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 5/28/2009 10:51 PM (GMT -7)   
You know fatherjohn, I don't think that the medical field would understand if we didn't mask our pain either. Then they would just think that we are overdramtizing the situation, or exaggerating about how much pain we are in, etc. I honestly don't think that there is any way to truly understand CP without experiencing it oneself. You can sympathize, you can understand to a point (and fortunately there are some docs out there who understand quite well), but you cannot completely understand it until you live it. I wouldn't wish a life of CP upon anyone, but I do wish that there was some way to educate the medical profession about CP & living/dealing with it. Maybe they all need a lecture from a pain psychologist about coping strategies, etc.

Skeye

straydog
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13451
   Posted 5/29/2009 4:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Fj,

Oh wow, hate to hear whats going on with the SCS. But, I see a little of the logic involved-SCS  is not going to end the pain as we all know-nothing does that, but I do wonder if their thinking is because of the long hours and not taking meds during the day, they may be thinking the SCS would be useless to implant. Its another tool to help fight pain like our meds are.  I do not think I am saying this right, its nearly 6am and I have not been to bed, ugh. Maybe they are thinking because of the long hard work hours no meds the majority of the day-the SCS in essence will not be as effective and maybe pretty useless in your situation. Their way of thinking could be a person who takes meds as scheduled and works a normal schedule may get the possible 50% reduction in pain, but that also would depend on the individual.

I do know from personal experience back in the mid 90s when I was having severe neck and back pain, I actually took a year off from work and it helped my pain level a great deal.  Nothing helped except high dose shot of decadron every 6 wks, this is what kept me working. Worked great until my BP went stroke line and ended up in the hospital from the steroids was on the shots almost 3 yrs. That ended by steroid career lol. Should not have  more than 3 shots in 12 months. I did not know this at the time-it was my wonder drug. I worked 10-12 hours a day, high stress job, brought lots of work home and spent alot of time on the computer and was known to work on weekends if needed. I ended up taking a year off work, mom was dx with terminal lung cancer so I brought her here to take care of her. Even with the stress of that, would you believe my pain level with my neck & back dropped a great deal, to the point of using a very small amt of pain meds a day, usually one at bedtime. Getting out from under the stress of that job was the best thing that could have happened to me.  I was able to stop having trigger point injections done every two weeks too. My PM dr saw me after being off one month and he was so excited when he saw me. He said he could tell by looking at my eyes that the pain was greatly reduced. He had been after me for 2 yrs to stop working but I am a bull headed type person. I too could lose myself in my work.  My body stayed in one big knot and spasm, sometimes when he did the trigger point injections he could not get the needle in because of the spasms, he said I was like hitting concrete lol.  

But, heres to June 8 and you getting the SCS  woohoo, I do hope you get some relief with that thing, you just need it.  Ya jnow sometimes its like darned if we do and darned if we dont.  Susie                                                                                        



fatherjohn
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/29/2009 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Skeye & Straydog, I have not been the one that is insisting to have the implant. My PMS was the one that wanted to give this avenue a try. I agreed to the trial. They asked me if the trial was showing enough good results to have the implant. I told him that it seemed to help for the day pain but nothing for the night. If he would have said, lets try to do something for the night first and then try the stimulator I would have said fine. He was hesitant but felt the benefit that I was getting for the day time was worth it. This is the same reasoning from the surgeon. It baffles me that my biggest complaint is night time pain that would not allow me to sleep and they don't think it is that bad as I work all day wiithout many problems. Their thought is, if I can deny the pain to work and not hinder my functioning, then we don't have a big problem. I woke this morning with a bad attitude with these Drs. I know and they both know that this will not remove any pain but masks it. We still don 't have a plan for night time b ut have tried Ambien and Lunesta. Again, no emphasis on the pain. I told the PMS that I am not taking my methadone during the day and taking it all at night. He said that was fine as long as I don't go over the daily prescribed amount.
 
I am frustrated which is ok as that is when I work the best as I put all my energy into attacking the frustration. I am looking at what else I can do besides the Job I am doing now.  Skeye, you are probably right about the medical professionals as the majority have a God complex and we don't have enough education or experience to offer anyhthing to them. Hope you have a wonderful Friday. I am taking today off but have to work Saturday evening/night and I speak at a church in Portland on Sunday.

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/29/2009 11:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Fatherjohn,
I'm sure this has occurred to you, and I'm just slow on the uptake (no shocker there, these days) but it just clicked with me while reading your last post that since this is a W.C. case (right?) that all they are concerned with is you working. And as long as you're working, they don't care about any other symptoms like a "minor" one of not sleeping!! Because although the ambien didn't work, it seems like there are other meds they could focus on to help you sleep, and then see how your daytime pain is. But if they are W.C. doctors their focus is on functioning, working, period. The only time not sleeping would matter would be if you couldn't work because you couldn't sleep.

Maybe i'm off base. Just some thoughts.

PaLady

Tony McGuire
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 483
   Posted 5/29/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -7)   
fatherjohn,

I saw the word 'Portland' and realized that you travel to speak.

Do you go East?

Well, if you ever have a speaking engagement anywhere around Salt Lake City I would certainly like to hear about it. It would be a wonderful opportunity to meet you.

Might that ever be a possibility?
Wife: Liz, the choice of a lifetime
Dogs: Koshka Prayer & Chomp Prayer
Meet My Wife And Me

Post Edited (TonyMcGuire) : 5/29/2009 1:26:32 PM (GMT-6)


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13451
   Posted 5/29/2009 3:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Still no sleep ugh, I am getting pretty tired by now, its 2:44pm. I had my grandson for a few hours this morning and took him home at 1:00 so he could have his siesta at 1:30. New schedule for him since school is out.
 
Oh, FJ, I read PaLadys recent response, she is right with your case being WC/they seldom ever address the issue of sleeping problems for patients. I have seen the comp carriers deny stinking sleeping pills to a patient and say oh, its not part of the back injury, its like hello idiot, the person would be sleeping if it were not for the back injury.  Idiot, idiots for sure. I too gotta agree with Skeye about drs having their little god complexes going on. When they have that attitude they are not worth shooting lol. I really have my days & nights mixed up and its awful. I have never been a day time sleeper, only when I am sick enough to have to stay in bed.
 
FJ are you on a low dose of Methadone or have you been titrated up in the dosage to the max? I wish we could just fix you somehow.  Susie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/29/2009 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Fatherjohn,
This thread has gotten wacky on my computer. The lines are spreading out long again. If this is
happening for you could you start a new thread?

This seems to happen to some posts and I can't always figure out why. Was fine earlier today.

PaLady

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 5/29/2009 8:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I see the tread is doing its own thing and making it hard to read. i will start a new thread.
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