Post Edited (anice) : 5/30/2009 5:41:37 PM (GMT-6)
Like everyone else has said, we are your friends here and do care about you! None of us see anything you have said as complaining, CP is a tough world to live in and worse when you don't have a Dr. who you trust or understands or wants to understand your situation!
PLEASE don't give up, there is a PM Dr. who WILL help you and PLEASE stay in touch and keep posting you are safe here with us! Even though we can't fix this for you we are here with our hearts and understanding to hopefully make it a little easier for you!!
I am sending you warm sunny hugs from Phoenix!
Thanks for all your replies,
I went to see the therapist today. I see a small glimmer of hope. I was there for an 1 1/2 hour and my body hurts all over. He listened to me, screened me for the depression. He said I was in a major depression. I told him how these pain MDs were digging up my past of losing my memory and the accidental overdose of xanax when I was sick 3 years ago when I couldnt think. I asked him why no one had me follow up with pysch after I was discharged by the court systems. He couldn't understand why no one followed up. He also told me that he doesn't want to start the Cymbalta just yet until I see the Pyschiatrist(which is August 11). He said that it is hard to get off of Cymbalta. Does anyone know what he means?? He told me that it was up to me about taking the Elavil for sleep but it is not really working for the sleep and not touching my mood. I see him next week and weekly thereafter until I get into the pysch MD for medication adjustments. He seemed like he cared and I hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment.
So on top of the CP you are still GRIEVING! You admired your Dr. friend and mentor, someone you trusted and whose opinion you valued! In your words, I feel you are saying you felt betrayed by his PA, who you thought would be there for you. Geez!!
Hang in there, like PA said Therapists are not magicians! Sounds like your Therapist cares! Try and stay positive and honest about your feelings, finding a therapist who you can open up to is half the battle. My daughter is BiPolar and it took years to find the right Therapist! She was on meds from her Psychiatrist, that helped a bit but the changes after a few months with her Therapist made all the difference in her life and ours!
We are here for you wishing you the best!
You hit every point on the button. I used to be a lot stronger, pull myself out a bad spot when down, but now I can't. I dont know what to say to this new PM doctor. Yes, there are days which I say, Why did this happen to me, I felt so good before the accident but BAM. You are right, I need to forget the past, why cant the doctors understand me. I am so tired and have no one to talk to each day. This counselor was very nice, but here comes the paranoia. I am afraid he would tell me I cant perform my job as a nurse. I have to pay the bills, and right now that is what keeps me going in a bad way. My legs are like an alarm clock and scream, "It's time to get up, you are not going to stay in this bed!" I sometimes think what would it be like to not have to go to work, but then I get angry, because the way the pain is controlling me, I wouldn't be able to stay home, because the meds arent working. The neurontin and amitriplyine dont help the pain, they just make me groggy, tired, but the pain still only allows a couple hours of sleep, and this fatigue is pulling me in a deeper hole of my mood. Thank you for giving me a sense of reality.
I am scared, maybe I should call the therapist on Monday before my PM appt. I faxed the records from the neurosurgeon's office, but I didnt fax the pysch records when I was sick. Should I have done this. Is is wrong for me to have a doctor judge me by the cover and just answer questions he has or should I lay it all out on the line? I want to trust the MD. I was straight forward with the new PCP and she still referred me to this PM doctor. I am lost. I want to laugh again. I just look forward to my vacation with the girls at the end of June but if I cant get some help, its going to be a long summer. I want to take them to six flags. They have never been there. i will keep you posted.