Your husbands reasoning sounds like he is concerned and considerate of what may happen to you or what you may have to deal with should something happen.
I understand your reasons for being upset for being left out of the loop of his decision. I used to feel like this if my husband made a decision that we couldn't partake in something because it would not be good or comfortable for me. It used to make me so mad and was a big source of issues in our relationship....when I started voicing my anger over these decisions it was then that he revealed that he was protecting me. After alot of chatting over similar situations, we have agreed to let me decide if its something I can do or not. Most times, when the day arrives the situation is either a go or a cancel..which is fine either way and people understand.
Your situation is what it is, we all wish we could be different BUT DO NOT beat yourself up over this. We create our own guilt. I've found that my family accepts my situation better then me.
Think of it this way, what if your husband had your issues? Knowing you as we do I feel you would ALWAYS think of his comfort first. I venture to bet you will enjoy even a 1, 2 or 4 day event as long as you are together with your family! Kids adjust and have fun, some of our best memories were created on a 1 or 2 day outing.
Give yourself a break, my favorite motto is enjoy the day, second to second, minute to minute...don't worry about what happened 5 minutes ago or what may happen 5 minutes from now....enjoy the moment right now!
So my answer is thank him for being considerate and share how what he did made you feel! We can't help how we feel, sharing how we feel well that can be tough alot of the time! Once you tell him how you feel, I believe you will feel much better and more accepting of the decision he made!
Enjoy your time with your family no matter what you end up doing!
I've been where you are, acceptance comes with time! I wasted so much time in the "what if mode" and resentment mode....that when the lights came on I realized it was ME hindering myself. Hope that makes sense!
We are here for you Laurie with our love and understanding. Have a good day!
Post Edited (straydog) : 6/15/2009 2:16:18 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (anice) : 6/15/2009 1:00:54 AM (GMT-6)
I so understand your comments about working, sooooo true!
I agree with your posting to a point. I think we are all speaking from our own personal experiences in our comments. I have found over the years that my husband has said things and I have said things that were harmless comments or decisions, believing them to be right. There was a time when I first entered the CP world that my confidence was down and I was floating in a sea of denial and sorrow, when comments were made I took them out of context and did not speak up! I was hurt beyond words and somehow deep inside felt I deserved what was happening because look at me, I am only half the person I used to be.
When the fog lifted and I began asking for the meanings and voicing my concerns, I found out that what I thought was meant was not even close.
SO I agree NO ONE has the right to make decisions for us, but I do believe if we communicate, it does clear the misunderstanding that occured. Husbands and wives tend to take each other for granted and some never grow together with the changes that come with life.
I always appreciate another point of view to ponder, makes me realize we don't all see things the same.....isn't life great lol.
Have a good trip, we will miss you!
Post Edited (skeye) : 6/16/2009 9:42:15 PM (GMT-6)