Son did a very bad thing......

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uniquelyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1037
   Posted 6/18/2009 10:38 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Well, Most of you know the story about my son Tyler...he is Bipolar and has had issues with me taking pain meds.  Well, the other day we were talking and he went upstairs...The next thing I see is Tyler crying.  He didn't want to tell me what was wrong but he finally did... He had gone upstairs to my room and took my Methadone and flushed them .  He says he was sorry, and that he did it before he realized what he did.  He just hates that I have to take anything and thinks it runs my life.
 
Now what?  I have some that I had in a pill box in my purse, but that's not enough to get me through to my next appt. which is 2.5 weeks away....Man am I freaking out!!!!  Not only will I be in pain, but now I have to worry about going through some major withdrawls... I don't want him to get in trouble, but I need to tell my Dr. what happened.  What do I do?
 
It would be easier if they had been stolen... at least I could blame somebody for it....but my own son?  I wanted to strangle him then hug him and tell him it will be okay....but it won't be okay.... I am in serious trouble and really don't know what I can do about it.
 
I thought he was getting better.  He is getting better, but he has serious problems with my pain meds.  Does he just hate me?
 
Me.

 I hate Boats!!!!
 
Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....
1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)
Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)
High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily
Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)
Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 5mg. 2X in the morning
                                                                    

 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 6/18/2009 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Me,
It's late and my brain is not working well, but remember we all told you this was a long road. And it is. He does not hate you, but this is what his illness will be like for a long time, perhaps forever. You need to set good boundaries, understanding his behavior will fluctuate.

You don't want to protect him from the consequences, as he needs to understand the importance of both of you doing as your doctor's tell you. You might even take him to your doctor's with you - seeing if you could get in earlier. I don't know if your doctor's office will buy it over the phone. If he sees your son's face he may realize it's true and maybe give you enough methadone to tide you over. And now you'll have to learn to keep all your meds in a much more secure place - locked and hidden.

It's hard, but this is your son's illness. He has to learn about it just as you do. It's a difficult road, but not an impossible one.

I hope i helped some. I hope I at least made some sense, and didn't say anything that offended because it's late! So if something came out wrong let me apologize in advance!

Hugs,

PaLady

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 6/18/2009 11:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Me, what a horrible dilemma. Pa lady is right though I'd take the honest approach too with your son in tow. it may help him to understand your need better too, especially if a doctor could explain it to him. And sadly it looks like you need to lock your meds up from now on. Sorry to have no other answers for you, golitho.

bluejet2
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 487
   Posted 6/19/2009 12:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Uniquelyme:
 
I can't add much to what PaLady and Golitho have advised.  I think taking your son with you to your doctor's appt. may be a very good idea - maybe your PM could help your son
to understand that needed pain meds for CP is no difference than needed an antibiotic if you have an infection? 
 
I pray that your doctor will be understanding of your circumstances and will replace the lost meds, or at least help you through the withdrawals.
 
Keep us posted!
 
Lorie
 
 
 

Stella Marie
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 601
   Posted 6/19/2009 12:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I have to agree with everyone..PAlady's advise was right on the money. You should never jeopardize yourself with a withdrawal issue. In addition, you are not doing your son any favor by not making him accountable for his actions. I am sorry this had to happen. For safety reasons, I never keep my entire narcotic rx out. I keep one week at a time out and lock the rest away.

Contact you doctor and let them know what has happened. Good luck.

Stella Marie

Co-Forum Moderator for Chronic Pain

Rare neurodegenerative disease called “Multiple System Atrophy”. a very rare neurodegenrative disease ..i.e. brain rot.  Mobility issues,, O2 , intrathecal pump, neurostimulator, neuropathic pain,  spasticity, central apnea, oesteoarthritis, colitis...etc..etc.

 


edt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:58 AM (GMT -7)   

Me,

PALady always gives the best advice and she has again.  Face to face with your Son and Dr. is the only way to go.  When I worked, we had patients on pain meds for migraines and CP....we never did believe a phone call with the stories I dropped my pills down the drain or I accidently flushed my pills down the toilet.  

When you call, tell them you have a personal situation that you have to see the Dr. for ASAP!

I am so sorry this happened and I definitely agree you need to keep your meds locked and hidden!

XXOO
Patti

 


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 6/19/2009 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Uniquelyme, I am so sorry this happened to you. Your son just doesn't understand your CP. And with his mental state, it is possible maybe he just can't. I also agree with PaLady. Make a Dr. appt. if at all possible today. Tell the receptionist that it is of a urgent nature and don't give any more details. I sure hope that you can get in today. I don't want to see you go without your meds over the weekend, because of the increase in pain and ofcourse the withdrawls. If they can't get you in today, ask for a return call. And explain the situation to the nurse. Explain that your son has been dx. as bipolar and explain what happened. I do hope that you can get replacement meds. I know you are angry at your son. What he did is horrible. But I do think he doesn't understand how much you do need your meds to just function throughout the day. You are certainly not an addict as he has stated before. You geniunely need to be on them for your CP. Bless your heart. It is a bad situation. I do hope it gets better. Mental illness is not something that is easy to live with. It effects the entire family, not just the patient. I do feel for you. And I wish there was something I could do for you. I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers. We are all here for you. You are not alone. I will send you lots of hugs. We all need them in times like this. Please let us know what you find out about getting replacement meds.
((((((((((((((((((((uniquelyme)))))))))))))))))))

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 6/19/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
     Dear Me,
 
 
     Im new to the forum and hope I am not intruding. But if I am you jut tell me, okay?  
 
     My heart goes out to you *warm huggs* Many of my biological family walk the  biopolar/manic depressive path in life. It is hard I think? With so much medical advances and technology... to still know so little about the human brain even today.. just so little that a loved on can do. I know it is hard on the soul when your hands are tied and you want so much to make the ones you love finally "feel" better.  It is so hard when the ones we love are trapped some place deep within their own minds and literally do not know the consequences of right vs. wrong. *warmest huggs* I guess im trying to say I understand *hugg*
 
     I dont know much about perscription refils and such... But has your doctor met your son? If so, then he will underand. As far as locking up medacine, maybe if you can? Get one of those water proof / fire proof type ones as they maintain tempature I think.... wait, I dont think other people keep their homes as hot as I do..  blush
 
     You know? In my heart? I just know the advances of stem cell technologies will pave the way the to a new understanding of the human brain. A time where we talk about our "brain related" illnesses with as much ease as we talk of any other physical ailments. *sigh* I hope I see this in my life time. Very proud moment I think. Would make my heart smile.
 
    *huggs*
   dani
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 6/19/2009 12:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Dani, Do you keep your house hot? Wow. I spend alot of time making sure curtains are closed, doors are closed, washing done in early morning or late at night. Didn't mean to get off the subject. I just can't stay cool enough. My husband says our bedroom is like a meat locker at night!lol

Me, I hope you are getting things tended to today. I am thinking about you. I sure do hope that you are able to get a replacement for your meds...I wish you the best.
anice

Post Edited (anice) : 6/19/2009 1:16:44 PM (GMT-6)


uniquelyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1037
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:16 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Well, what can I do?  I know that taking him with me would be ideal, but he is already gone up to his dad's house.  I had to get him out of here.  I hope that doesn't sound bad, but I honestly think his father needs to deal with some of this finally.  He has been so wrapped up in his new life that Tyler has been put on the back burner. 
 
I haven't called my Dr. yet...I have enough to keep me until Monday if I take the full dose each day...and for another few days if I cut it in half.  I am so freaked out.  I know that withdrawls are hard, and with the added pain that I deal with? OMG!!!
 
I am scared that the Dr. will say "Oh well, you won't die".  And I am having more pain since this is so stressful for me.  I can't sleep, eat, or do anything.  All I can think about is how bad this is going to get.  If the Doc won't help me I won't be able to make it through.  I can't....
 
Wow, I really am scared.....not only for me, but because I know my son is soooo sorry about this.  I hope he knows that it will be ok.  I can't let him know how hard this will be for me it might send him over the deep end.
 
Me.

 I hate Boats!!!!
 
Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....
1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)
Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)
High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily
Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)
Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 10mg. 2X in the morning
Lantus 10 units at bedtime with Solostar Pen                                                                   

 


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

This is a bad situation that you might be able to turn into an educational one. PAlady was right on the button. Take your son in to your doctor so he can explain Chronic Pain. The hopefully your PM will write you another script. All he can say is no.

I will continue to pray for you for we both know how hard it is to raise a child with mental issues.

Laurie
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD
Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea
Hopefully NO MORE........ I think I have it all


fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 6/19/2009 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   

Uniquelyme, This is a very difficult situation and one that you need to remain calm with as you deal with it. Your son probably is dealing with more that you realize and time will tell how this will affect him. I encourage you to call you Dr., explain the situation and offer to come in with your son if that is necessary. If your doctor is at all compassionate, then your honesty and willingness to confront the situation might make a big difference. If your Dr. knows that you are out and that there is nothing that you can do accept go cold turkey, it might touch his compassion. All you can do is call and be honest, you have noting to loose. It is difficult to admit but it happened. You can eexplain how you plan to take action so that this would not happen again, and present a real plan. What the Drs are afraid of many times is repeat incidents. Recently with a very intense discussion with my PMS, he admitted that he does not question my management of my meds as I have never called in and asked for more or for an early refill. It happens to Drs all the time and they learn to focus on the people that are repeat offenders as high risk. That does not describe you. I encourage you to call on Monday morning and at least take the step. The worst he can say is no but at least you have a chance.

As per your son, I agree that you probably needed a break so you and/or he did not say something or do something any further that would damage the relationship. When the timing and the place are right, then confronting him might make more sense. As for right now, he needs the stability of both a mother and a father that care for him, even if you two are not tiogether.  He is probably dealing with things in his own way and he needs to work them out. You can be there when he is ready, which can help tremendously with your relationship with him. Keep posting this weekend and let us continue to encourage you and face those fears. You are not alone.


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 6/19/2009 6:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Me,

Wow! I am so sorry that your son put you in this situation! But, I don't think I could have said it any better than Palady & golitho. I would get on the phone with your doc asap & explain the situation & then bring your son along with you to the appointment. Methadone definitely isn't something you want to mess with - based on everything I've learned here about it. I do think that I would keep any meds in a lockbox from now on. Of course many lockboxes can be destroyed (especially if they are not big & heavy), but at least it would be a way to detour your son & anyone else who might want to get into your meds for whatever reason. I have one up at school, where I find it absolutely necessary, but I've been thinking about getting one at home as well. The one I have I got at Staples - it is just a fireproof lockbox. It's portable, but pretty heavy. It's not meant for med storage - or so it said on the box - but it works just fine for me.

Again, sorry that you have to go through this unnecessarily! I hope your doc is understanding & that he will refill your meds & you won't have to go through withdrawls. Best of luck!

Skeye

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 6/19/2009 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Rhonda,
I don't know. I guess I'm of the opinion that your son could have done a lot worse. When I started reading your post, I thought you were going to say that your son took all of your meds & swallowed them himself.

I don't know whether you've had similar problems in the past, but if not, just call your doc & let him know what happened. Best case, maybe he will give you some extra doses (if he can). Worst case, at least your doc can give you some meds & recommendations to make the withdrawals a lot more comfortable. Withdrawal meds can really make the difference between being able to function somewhat to being miserable & shaking for several days.

Let us know what happens!
frances
Moderator -- Depression Forum


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 6/19/2009 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((Me))))))))

This is such a touch road for both you and your son. Since he's not there right now, fatherjohn's suggestion that you offer to bring him in if necessary (I don't know how long he will be with his father) is a good one, but maybe another option would be to at least try to see your doctor yourself and maybe even bring something with your son's diagnosis on it (although that in a sense violates your son's trust, but maybe it won't be necessary). Worst case do what Frances has suggested and get something to help you with withdrawals and the anxiety, and maybe get your methadone as early as your doctor will give it to you.

Please don't try to tough it out alone. You did nothing wrong.

Take care,

PaLady

Hara
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 6/19/2009 11:23 PM (GMT -7)   
uniquelyme said...
 
 
Well, what can I do?  I know that taking him with me would be ideal, but he is already gone up to his dad's house.  I had to get him out of here.  I hope that doesn't sound bad, but I honestly think his father needs to deal with some of this finally.  He has been so wrapped up in his new life that Tyler has been put on the back burner. 
 
I haven't called my Dr. yet...I have enough to keep me until Monday if I take the full dose each day...and for another few days if I cut it in half.  I am so freaked out.  I know that withdrawls are hard, and with the added pain that I deal with? OMG!!!
 
I am scared that the Dr. will say "Oh well, you won't die".  And I am having more pain since this is so stressful for me.  I can't sleep, eat, or do anything.  All I can think about is how bad this is going to get.  If the Doc won't help me I won't be able to make it through.  I can't....
 
Wow, I really am scared.....not only for me, but because I know my son is soooo sorry about this.  I hope he knows that it will be ok.  I can't let him know how hard this will be for me it might send him over the deep end.
 
Me.

 

 

Hara says: I think your Dr. will understand. Withdrawls from Metodone and any other narcotic is very painful to say the least. If you have to please go to the hospital ER. They will or should be able to help you out. 

 

 


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 6/20/2009 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Me, I will continue to think about you over the weekend. Please do come by as often as you feel up to. My heart goes out to you. Maybe your son going to his dads' house for a while was a good idea. It will give you a break. Maybe you can rest. I do hope you call that office first thing Mon. morning. I hope your doctor will give you replacement meds. I think he will. Your have all our support and encouragement here. You are not going through this alone.
Anice

LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 6/20/2009 3:30 AM (GMT -7)   

I hope no doctor will let you go through withdrawls!!!!!!!!

Laurie


39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD
Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea
Hopefully NO MORE........ I think I have it all


uniquelyme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1037
   Posted 6/20/2009 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Once again my HW family is there for me...I cannot thank all of you enough for the advice and encouragement you have given me.  I know that everyone here has so much going on in their own lives, and I just thank you for taking the time out to help me.  It means so much to me.
 
I have been so worried about what my Dr. might or might not do for me that I have sent myself into severe anxiety attacks.  That is something I don't know much about, but I know it feels like I'm having a heart attack.  I have to call my Dr. and whatever happens....well, let's just say I won't know until I try.
 
I am afraid that she will help me but tell me to find another Dr.  I really love the Dr.'s and nurses there and would hate to have to find another PM clinic to go to.  But, I guess I have no choice but to put it in their hands on Monday.
 
I have enough methadone to get me through until maybe Wednsday....longer if I cut the dose. I hate doing that because I wake up every hour in pain and nothing helps. 
 
I have always kept my meds in a lock box, locked.  This time I had gotten my meds out and set the box down on my headboard to go get a drink from downstairs.... I guess I forgot about it, and then Wham!!
 
I don't think he planned it ahead of time, I think he was so mad at me at the moment and saw the box out and took a chance that it wasn't locked.  I am so greatful that he didn't take anything.  I could NEVER forgive myself if something happened to him because of my carelessness.
 
So, for now I'm just self inducing panic attacks on myself.  I keep having nightmares and I know it's from all of this. 
 
And, I started insulin last week and that's another stressful thing.  My blood sugar levels are through the roof.  I have heard that high sugar levels and CP are a bad mix.  That they can effect each other in bad ways.  So, I have to wait until Monday and hope for the best....
 
Love to all,
Me.

 I hate Boats!!!!
 
Post Lamenectomy Syndrome, Spinal Stenosis, DDD....
1999 Hemi Lamenectomy/2005 Spinal Fusion(L4-S1)
Methadone 120 mg. a day/15 mg. Oxycodone as needed(up to 4 x a day)
High Blood Pressure: Lisinopril HCTZ 10 mg. daily
Type 2 Diabetes: (March 16, 2009)
Metformin HCL ER 1000 mg. at night..Glipizide 10mg. 2X in the morning
Lantus 10 units at bedtime with Solostar Pen                                                                   

 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 6/20/2009 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Me,
It seems like it never ends for us, doesn't it?

Now that I am learning more from your last post, I really think you have a stronger case with your PM since you WERE keeping your meds locked. Please mention that to them and that yes, you went to get some water to take your pills and in the moment things transpired with your son and well, yes, you've learned you'll be more careful in the future but you weren't exactly being negligent. Stuff happens. (well, I wouldn't say those last two words to the doc!) If I were you I'd share just what you did - how much you like their office and staff, and maybe even ask your doctor for additional suggestions. If he/she has children, maybe they'll also be a bit more sympathetic. But worst case at least get some help for the withdrawals. I hope considering how careful you were trying to be that your doctor will be more understanding, especially if this is the first time.

You're right, it's good that your son didn't take any of them, which is also a possibility as you are now seeing how impulsive he can be. With bipolar there are lots of ups and downs. Get used to the roller coast ride so you get good at navigating it! And eventually, once your son takes more and more responsibility for his challenges, it should level out some. But I have a hunch you're feeling more guilty than you should be.

Hugs,

PaLady

Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 6/20/2009 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
PaLady is so right.

First of all, you did nothing wrong and second of all you are feeling more guilty than you should be. My goodness, my head is in the clouds all the time and I take care of two small children every day. I know how you must feel. You don't want anything bad to happen to your son. I understand that. This has probably been a wake up call for him. Give it some time and you may just see some good come out of this.

Keep posting. We are here for you. Glad you have enough meds til Wednesday, so you are safe from withdrawls for this weekend anyway. I'm sure the doctor will help you on Monday. They won't let you go through withdrawls. That would not be humane. And try not to think they will boot you out the door. Remember this was an oversight and things do happen in life. They won't be that hard on you.

Let us know how you are doing. Post tomorrow too, so we can all check on you, OK??

Lots of hugs and prayers are coming your way. God bless.

Lindaloo
Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


Sam Roberson Jr
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 6/20/2009 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Lindaloo;
                    I have gone through something similar, my son stole my meds to take to a "skittles" party and I had to do without for two weeks now what I did was call my doctor and inform him what had happen and he wrote me another script for Morphine sulphate to help with the withdrawal symptoms, and I am sure that everyone has told you to get a lock box and that is a very good idea especially if your son did this, it not only protects you but it protects him as well. good luck.
    Sam
tying to make it one day at a time....corney right


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 6/21/2009 12:20 AM (GMT -7)   
 Sorry Me, I dont mean to be rude. Just wanted to answer Anice :-)
 
  Anice, "Dani, Do you keep your house hot? Wow." Yes atleast 80, Im comfortable 82 - 86 feels perfect. My family fusses a bit around 84. Good thing sun sets on the huge double windows in kitchen. *OOooOOooO* I do love heat. yeah
 
 *huggs*
dani
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood


Hara
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 6/21/2009 3:45 AM (GMT -7)   
uniquelyme I have to ask. How high are your blood sugars? If they are above 300 please please go to the emergancy room.
 
HARA

kttn251977
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 554
   Posted 6/21/2009 4:21 AM (GMT -7)   
anice i keep my room at 72. plus the humidity right now in fl is so unreal i go out as little as possible. i am so pale i look like a vampire! where's edward cullen when i need him?

uniquelyme, i am so very sorry for what happened. i too saw the headline and was so scared he took them. i used to date a guy who was bi-polar and it was so hard, the ups and downs. i couldnt imagine what it would be like to have a son in that position. i agree with everyone in here, take the diagnosis to your dr. and please reconsider cutting the pills in half. call the pharmicist and make sure you can do that safely. good luck with everything.
RX's: Oxycontin 80mg 2x's daily; Oxycodone 30mg 5xs daily; Zanaflex 4mg 3x's daily; Restoril 15mg 1x; Soma 3x's daily; Lyrica 100mg 3x's daily (pain & fibro.); Phenergan 25mg (as needed); Amitriptyline 25mg 1x (chronic pain); Cymbalta 60mg 2x's daily (pain from fibro); Abilify 5mgs at bedtime (depression); Metoclopram (as needed) & Senokot (as needed).
"The most critical choice you'll ever make is the one you make about what you're going to do with this. The past is over. The future hasn't happened yet. The only time is now."
- Dr. Phil

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