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anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/1/2009 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi friends, This is attempt #7. The last time, I was almost finished then poof it was gone. It is so aggravating!!! I need to vent in a bad way. I feel like I am suffocating!!! It seems like no one understands me. No one except all of you. Well, that is enough for me.
 
I had lunch w/ my best friend before PT today. She told me that it looks like I am getting around better than I was before the surgery. And that she thinks I should be able to be back to work. That should have encouraged me-made me feel good. It didn't. I hurt. With every step I take, I hurt. It made me feel like she thinks I am faking it-dragging this out. I am not. I want nothing more than to go back to work. This really upset me...I am doing the best that I can do. I am walking,doing the exercises I was shown on Monday, going to PT,heating pad, creams,etc...  Maybe I am making more of this than I should be...
 
I asked about the tens unit again today. She said the therapist said we would discuss it next time I see him. I told her that I would rather go ahead and get it sooner. She said she would leave him the message. I will call the therapist in the morning. I was given a rx by my PM for this. I don't understand why they seem to be draggaing their feet on it. Why can't I get this device that might possibly offer me some relief? I have 3 more sessions in the water before I see him again to be re-evaluated again... I do understand I have to be educated about it. And that is fine. I just want to get what has been prescribed for me...
 
My nerves are shot. The kids are stomping all over them,especially my daughter. She is so demanding!!! I want some "me" time. I want some peace and quiet. I find myself yelling at the kids and snapping at my husband. No one has done anything. It is just me... I know this. I am just on edge and frustrated in a bad way. I didn't used to yell at the kids. It makes me feel so bad. It makes me feel like a bad mother... I just want to be alone. I want to hear NO noise of any kind. It would do wanders for me. If I could just have a little bit of absolutely nothing!!!
 
Okay, it looks like this one will work. I am glad it didn't vanish!!! yeah Thank you for listening and for caring. I appreciate it so much.
anice

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 7/1/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice, It's such a common problem when friends or co workers can't see your pain they simply feel its not there! It's incredibly frustrating but you simply have to keep putting that foot infront of the otherone and keep going, despite the comments. Its especially frustrating when you would like to be well and pain free and back at work yourself!!! Sounds as if all those frustrations are bubbling up to the surface and bubbling over onto your family as they are the closest ones around you!!! But do you know what, despite all your anger you sound very determined and very positive Anice! It is so good to hear your determination to move ahead with the PT and get your tens unit organised. Keep hassling them, they probably need to be hassled to get themselves organised to educate you etc.
Do you feel the PT is helping overall??? Lets hope the tens unit can help fool those nerves for you.
Lovely to hear from you, you're not a bad mother, just a mother in pain who is very understandably irritable. Kids can be so selfish at times, especially young ones, it takes enormous patience sometimes to be a parent and it's very hard for CPers to find that calm. My youngest always throws himself on me to give me a hug with no understanding of the pain that causes me!!! Give yourself a break, its hard to be supermom all the time! Best wishes, golitho

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/1/2009 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Golitho, Thank you for your reply. I am trying. I know my friend didn't mean any ill will towards me. She is a great friend. It's just that she has no idea how much pain I am still in. It just hurts... I miss work so much. I feel so alienated from just life in general...especially those at work...

No, I don't think I am feeling better doing the PT. It is better than walking on the ground outside. She added exercises this week. On the PT days, my pain is increased. I keep on trying though. Maybe it will help. I try to tell myself that I just haven't been doing it long enough.
anice

Smoochie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 7/1/2009 6:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice,

I know what you mean about the friends, I have had the same responses and I would love nothing more than to go to work myself. My friends will ask me how I am feeling and I will tell them not very good and I'll get this response "of course not, you never feel good" so then I feel worse because I never feel good. Its just hard for them to understand, because most of them think of pain as a fleeting thing, and fleeting means it goes away, where is are pain is always there, it just depends on how severe it is that day. I had a tens unit last year that we tried, it helped a bit while it was on but afterward it hurt more than before, but that was me and maybe for you it will be the one that makes you feel a whole lot better. I understand how it can be with children, I have been going through this pain for 11 years now and my daughter just turned 18 and now she is a big help but back then all she thought was that mommy is always sick, but it does get better and you are not bad or evil or any type of bad mother, you just get irritated at things, I know how you feel, when you are expected to perform all the same things you did prior to your pain when all you really want to do is disappear. You hang in there, and bug the hell out of that PT, because its not them in pain so there is no hurry! Best of Luck to you and take care.
Smoochie
 


fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 7/1/2009 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice, Yes the stress level does rise at times and we all need to vent. When we are already struggling and not feeling well, it does not take much for someone to get under our skin. My kids are over 18 and there are days when I want them to grow up. Yours are in a little different position. Please do your best to get some time alone or some alone time. lol  I was irritaed at my oldest, I won't bore you with the details and he knew I was not on the same page as him. He has been waiting to find out when he was heading to Iraq or if they cahnged their minds. I finally told him to check in and see before we make any more decisions. He made the call and then called me and said he leaves in two weeks. Now I am thinking, having him here irritating me is better that having him over there. I share this to show you we all feel the way you described and just like you, I know I feel guilty afterwards.   
 
I want to encourage you to tell your kids and your husband that you know you were not very nice and that taking things out on them even when you don't feel good is not the right thing to do. I say this not to judge you or minimize what you feel. When I own up with my family or even my students, they end up understanding more about me and I find they are very forgiving. I did not feel very good today and one of my students refused to do what I ask him, told him, demanded him to do. I finally chewed him out and made him feel as low as whale manure (bottom of the ocean). I had to go put my arms around him and tell him I loved him. I also encouraged him with some information that I had. I am working on helping him go to Russia to help with one of our programs there. He then came back to me and asked for forgiveness for his actions and stated he wanted to be a student that I will be proud of and that I can trust. I had to make the first move.
 
I know you love your kids and husband and so do they love you. We just come up short on showing it at times. We just seem to be so weak and tired and yes we do need our own time.

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/1/2009 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
FatherJohn, Thank you so much. Your post touched me deeply. As I read it, the tears I didn't know about surfaced. Everything you said is exactly right. I make it a point to tell my kids and husband that I am sorry and that I was wrong for taking it out on them. My daughter brings out the worst in me for some reason. She is everything that I am not. But on the good side of that,she is so strong in her ways that I know she will be okay as an adult. She has the spit fire personality for which I feel confident she will never allow others to run over her or mistreat her in life. I love her so much. She is so beautiful with long brown curly hair and the most beautiful eyes your ever seen. But oh my gosh, she is the most stuborn hard headed little thing!!! But when her little arms hug me and she tells me she loves me it is then that I am so grateful and thankful for her. I tend to get stressed with her more than my son. But I do make it a point that I sit her on my lap and tell her that I am sorry for being unkind to her and that I love her. She is okay with that. My son,Connor, is 11. I can explain a little better with him. I also tell my husband how sorry I am. I guess what bothers me the most is that this pain is making me a different person. I never used to yell. I would never say anything that might hurt or upset someone... I am not happy with MY reactions to the situation. I am going to work on that real hard. I never never want to hurt anyone-especially my family-those I love. I think that I will start getting up extra early in the mornings (starting tomorrow) and get that "me" time. I think it is what I need. Thank you for reminding me to do this. I took no offense to it whatsoever. I needed to hear that. I thank you so much. Sometimes I think we may let our pain override the important things in life. And that is what I have done... I will make sure I stop doing this...

I feel for you with your son leaving in 2 weeks for Iraq... I will be thinking of the both of you,your entire family as the time draws closer. I know that you are proud of him. Enjoy your time as much as possible. And try yourself to keep good,positive thoughts. How long will he be deployed? I will be keeping him in my prayers,promise!!!
Anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/1/2009 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
I'm so glad you decided to post and that it finally went through! I just want to add about your friend - I think you need to tell her what you're telling us. Try to make her see that just because you look better doesn't mean the pain has stopped. People don't understand chronic pain. If you're no doubled over or in tears they seem to think you're doing ok. And you may look better than you did right after surgery. But it will help you in the long run if your friend understands how you're really feeling. If she doesn't want to hear it, you can't control that part.

Fatherjohn also gave you some good advice. I do hope maybe you can get a little "me" time just to relax or even to cry.

But you know we're here anytime.

((((((((Anice))))))))))

PaLady

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 7/1/2009 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice, as I read your response, I layed here and just started crying. I am so glad that it is ok for men to cry. Who ever made that old rule did not know what real men were. I just envisioned you holding your lovely daughter and her wwrapping her arms around you and squeezing as hard as she could but without hurting you. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for our son. He will be gone for a little over a year according to what he heard today. My neighbor's son just returned home from Iraq via a hospital stay after being injured. From what he has said, his life is now centered around chronic pain. I have a great place for him to visit and spend some time, at HW. My son's name is Joshua.

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 7/1/2009 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Awe Anice, I just wanted to offer up comfort..seems like when it rains it pours literally
and thru it all we have to pick ourselves up dust ourselves off and start all over again
in the real world, but for here, vent all you need too and loose yourself in some good old fashioned
hugz, ones that won't hurt, imagine all the comfort you need is right here and no demands
for anything for at least this moment....
sure hope this helps...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Anice))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13469
   Posted 7/1/2009 8:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Awe Anice, its can be so tough girl. I am very sure your friend meant no harm, if anything she may have been trying to give you a moral boost that just did not come out right. And remember its very hard for people to see CP. Its that hidden dragon that no one except another CPer would or could recongnize.
 
Needing some "me" time is important for everyone. If a person has small children as you do, you really need some time for you. Its just plain hard even if you were not dealing with pain isues. I kept my grandson last night cause daddy was working late, mom was invited to go eat dinner with a small group of mom's from Cole's school. She was going to cancel out-why, she felt guilty for leaving him with me. She had worked a few hours earlier and I had him most of the day.  I insisted she go-I told her she was in need of an attitude adjustment and if she didn't go I was going to get mad,lol. She went & had a great time. I suggested that she and these mom try to do this once a month. Raising children in good health is a very hard job.
 
You are a very good mom, but you are a stressed out mom. You are dealing with a lot of different issues all at one time. Oh my, that little on sounds alot like her mom. Thats great she is taking after her mom. Again, I do feel you will return to work, you have the determination to make it happen. You just ran into some speed bumps thats all. Your son is 11 and yes, its easier for him to understand because he is old enough to understand what you are telling him.
 
Back in my working days it ws always stressful at work. That was one thing I could count on. I use to get up 30 minutes earlier every day so I could have my "me" time, it was worth it.
 
Just hang in there it will get better. Yes, get that Tens Unit-push for it.
Straydog/Susie
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & decreased circulation in both legs. Swveral other health issues just not enough roo to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 16 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.


bluejet2
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 487
   Posted 7/2/2009 12:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice:

My father always told me that people take out their anger, frustration, etc., on those that they love the most, and I have always found that statement to be very true. Kids are very resiliant and are often much "smarter" than we give them credit for. Your daughter knows that you're going through a difficult time. When you don't tell kids what is going on, they often think that they are responsible for Mom or Dad's bad mood, or Mom and Dad's arguments, etc., so I think Fatherjohn's advice to tell your daughter how your feeling in an age appropriate manner, is very important.

When you look at the big picture, this is just a couple of months out of your child's whole lifetime. Right now, your recovery is the main focus of your life as it should be, but a couple of years from now, it's just going to be a bump in the road that was rough, but you'll be on the other side!

Lorie

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 7/2/2009 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice, since I did not go into the office this morning, I thought I would do something I enjoy, dropping in to check on my friends. I hope today goes better for you today. I hope that you had some personal time today and that the world looks a little brighter today and the kids are on your side. Any way, was thinking of you and just wanted you to know. Have a blessed day. Someone once told me to cheer up, things could be worse. So I cheered up and guess what, things got worse. LOL Even the bad days have to take a break once in a while.

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/2/2009 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi friends, I wanted to tell you something good that happened to me today! How is that for a change? One of the nurses that I work with, her daughter came by this morning and brought a big lasagna,french bread and an organic mix of different lettuce for salad. She also brought my daughter about 5 big bags of clothes her daughter outgrew. I had talked to her a few days ago and she said it was something she very much wanted to do for me. It really touched me. And I felt so blessed and grateful. It was so sweet of her. I spent the afternoon going through my daughters drawers and cleaning out-to make room for all the new stuff. So, I did get some quiet time today... I bagged up alot of her clothes to take to a women/childrens' shelter drop off box.

My mother in-law is here with us. She came last night. And we will have her until Sunday. She lives w/ my husbands' sister and they were going on vacation for a few days... She is nice and not too much trouble. She has pretty bad dementia-repeats herself ALOT. My step kids(13 y/o twins) are also here. They will also be here for a few days. That part I am not too happy with. So instead of the 4 we usually have in this single wide 3 bedroom, now we have 7!!!! I decided that when the noise kicks up,which I am sure it will, I will excuse myself to my room and read or whatever. I'll make it an early night. His mother is fine. The twins are a different story all together... I started a good book last night. Looks like a great night to read!!!

I still hurt...I have about come to the conclusion that this might be as good as it is going to get. It has been 10 weeks since the surgery. I do think that it should be better by now. Maybe not. I just think enough time has passed. I have tried to be patient and give it more time. But I think this pain may be here to stay. It sure seems that way. No change in that-still hip and buttock pain...I am going to call the therapist tomorrow and ask about the tens unit...
anice

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 7/2/2009 5:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice, I know I haven't had back surgery but I have had three shoulder reconstructions plus an ectopic pregnancy and various ovarian cysts removed and 10 weeks is not long after major surgery!!! It seems long, I know but in the big picture its just a drop in the ocean. My shoulder took over a year before I started getting some real improvement. Even after the ectopic, I went back to work at 8 weeks but I couldn't lift or twist properly for I'd say 6 months and I was very fit in those days. It sometimes takes a lot of hard work to get somewhere and you don't even notice the improvement the progress can be so slow. Just take it a day at a time, I'm sure you will get there. Did you hear any more about the tens machine? Golitho

shannon1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 7/2/2009 5:30 PM (GMT -7)   
nice, just wanted to give u a BIG hug!!!

im so sorry ur friend does not understand...and im sorry ur ready to get ur treatment moving and they are draging their feet....

and oh boy, do i know about husband/kids...u r NOT a bad mom! I know it feels that way sometimes, i feel that way to. I even asked my husband to send me to a hotel ALONE for two nights for my b-day! LOL Hang in there, i hope tomarrow is a better day!
Jan. 2009, complete hysterectomy, diagnosed stage 4 endometriosis & adenomyosis (age 36)
2003, dx moderate UC
2000, dx selective IGA deficiency w/ anti IGA antibodies
2000, dx Antipholipid Antibody Syndrome
1999-2009, chronic hemmoragic ovarian cysts, w/ partial ovary removal
1977, complete reconstruction of foot after lawnmower accident (chronic pain)
 
Meds
6mp 75mg, prednisone 40mg (just starting meds again)
percocet 5mg 3x day
potassium 3x day
 


nurse2
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 7/2/2009 6:42 PM (GMT -7)   
ANIICE,
I would love for you to look up on the internet the article "But you don't look sick? The Spoon theory". It is one of the most wonderful articles I have ever read that describes the life of anyone who is chronically ill. This one happens to be about a girl who had Lupus. Print it out and have everyone in your family read it. Have your friend read it. I even took a copy to my internest just because I thought it was such a great article. It should surely make them look at things in a different light. I've been in a nasty flare since Dec. This is the longest one I have ever had and I am miserable every day. The pain meds don't seem to work.. I had to start keepiing a log of when I take each med and the symptoms I'm having because these Fogs can be dangerous if you screw up your meds.
Fatherjohn, I will pray for Joshua and your family. My daughter was in the Army for 3 yrs. as an MP and got hurt in the prison where she worked. She got out on disability and has been mad about it ever since. She loved the Army. She went back to college and is going to get a psych degree so she can councel Vets so at least she will have her hand in working with mlitary people.
She is only 5'5'' and weighed 120 lbs. when she worked at the prison. I was scared to death for her.......
I hope both of you have a day or two without so much pain. Wouldn't that be great?
Nurse2
Degenerative disc disease,osteoarthritis, status post 4 cervical spinal surgeries with plate insertions and fusion, Lupus, Sjogren's Disease, Fibromyalgia, chronic heacaches and chronic pain.
 
Find blessings in every day!
 


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 7/2/2009 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice,

Honestly I haven't read any of the replies, just your post. But I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! Dealing with pain every minute of every day is EXHAUSTING and STRESSFUL! Sometimes it hard not to feel crabby & tired & worn out! I know that I struggle with this a lot, between my CP & the resulting depression. It's especially tough when nothing seems to be helping, plus waiting for those "potential" modes of relief, like your tens unit, is pure torture! If you can take some "me" time, that would probably be the most helpful - even if it is just a half hour of reading a book. Just something to get your mind away from everything going on & to put yourself somewhere quiet. Hopefully your phone call will sort out things with the PT & you will be getting your tens unit soon (do they happen to have one that you could borrow in the mean time?). I do hope that you can get some time away to regroup & feel better soon! This too will pass!

hugs,
Skeye

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13469
   Posted 7/3/2009 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Anice,

Wow how nice of a surprise was that to get a nice dinner delivered to your door. Just awesome. You are so lucky to get those clothes gal. Every once in a while we get clothes for the grandson from a very good friend and they are always very much appreciated. Alot of women will get a network of Mom's together just to do clothing exchanges for kids clothing, works great and always needed.

I may be out of bounds here-but here goes. Your step kids do not need to be visiting at a time when you are needing rest to recup from your surgery. I think its a little thoughtless on someone's part to expect you to deal with them at this time. If anything, Dad could have picked the kids up took them to a movie and McDonald's and delivered them back to their Mother. He could have taken them someone for some alone time and continue doing this until you are up on your feet better.

You have way too many people in your home-no wonder you are stressed. Good grief. I would have just had to say no at this time and if they understood fine, if not thats their problem not yours. You have enough to deal with.

I know you are sick of it, 10 weeks post op is nothing, sorry. But, each day that goes by will start getting better at some point. No-do not give in and get to thinking, ok this is how it is, I will always hurt.  If you get in that mode you will always hurt no matter what. I have seen this happen way too many times. hate to say it, but you are still hung up on the drs remark of back to work in 6 weeks-you are still letting that eat at you and like I told you a while back, that is straight of out a text book-text book talk only. Not even worth repeating as far as I am concerned. We tried to warn you here in the beginning that you would not be going back to work in six weeks, there is just no way for that to be possible.

Talk to the head PT person about getting your Tens Unit now-not later. Aqua PT is great, but you are also going to be needing regular PT and should be slowly worked up to some light weights for strengthening. Keep your head on straight-get that old attitude back that I can do this and will do this. Remeber, I am one of your cheerleaders and know you can do this, just hang in there.


Straydog/Susie
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & decreased circulation in both legs. Swveral other health issues just not enough roo to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 16 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/3/2009 1:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
I have to say "ditto" to Susie's remarks, but wanted to add one thing. I just remembered that my PT had TENS units he loaned out for a week or two for people to take home and try out. Ask your PT if he has anything like that. It could also give you an idea of how it would work.

I also have what's called an Intraferential Stimulator. My PT gave it to me; said the company was giving them away (now that I see what they charge for supplies I know why). Anyway, my PT said it was like a TENS unit but a little better. Said it had to do with the frequencies it emitted. The TENS unit is just for pain, but the Intraferential Stimulator is both for pain and to increase blood flow to the area, more similar to the machine he used in his office.

I also had to buy rechargeable 9v batteries and a 9V charger at Radio Shack because my unit goes through batteries like crazy! But yours may be different.

Anyway, ask your PT if he has one to loan out so you can try it.

Hugs,

PaLady

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/3/2009 3:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Susie, No I don't think you were out of bounds about the step-kids.Actually, I feel the same way. And I feel bad for saying this but, I don't even really care about them alot. They are 13 and very disrespectful and unapprecitive as far as with me.It wouldn't bother me in the least if they didn't ever come here!! But I don't mistreat them and never would. His kids have been putting him on a quilt trip b/c he hasn't been doing for them the extra things he has done before, Therefore he tries to spend time w/ them for this reason. We have them most every weekend. I did finally put my foot down and told him it need to be every other weekend from now on.It is too much on me... My own two are too much on me most of the time!!!

I am trying not to get in a bad mind set again.I just haven't noticed any decrease in my pain no matter what I do. I will continure trying my best. I just don't tend to think it will change much from the way it is...I know you all say it is too soon. And I am not disagreeing that point. Maybe it is. Hopefully it is. I just know how I feel everyday- and it is always the same or worse, NEVER better.

PaLady, I still don't have the tens unit.I didn't call back about it. There has just been too much going on here and I got sidetracked(imagine that).I have a PT appt. on Monday. I do intend on finding out why it is such a hassle to get the device. They seem to be wanting to drag their feet on this. And I am not as agressive as I need to be,just the way I am...It may or may not help me. But what aggravates me is that they don't want to set me up w/ one. And this was a Dr.(my PM) order! I will get a little more agressive with this. I don't have a choice.
I will keep in mind the other device you mentioned, if this one doesn't help.
anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/3/2009 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
Just ask on Monday if they have one to loan you so you can try it out for a week or two. It's also possible they're waiting for you to finish up with the water part of PT and don't feel you're ready yet for the TENS, yet I don't think the TENS can really hurt you. My PT was using a stim on me at every session quite awhile before I got a home unit.

It's only something to help you manage pain; it's not a cure all, but it does help. Maybe they are also waiting to see if you're going to get a little better. The insurance usually pays for it, and they may have some time limits before they approve you for one, too. Could be lots of little quirks.

Let me ask - is it the same pain you had before the surgery that hasn't improved, or the healing at the incision site itself? Because you should be noticing some small improvements in the area of the surgery, but the nerve pain can take up to two years to heal. Nerves that have been compressed for a long time may not ever heal, but I was told 18 months - 2 years before you know that for sure. Either way, it's slow, slow healing for the nerves.

I know you don't like hearing this. None of us do. I just hope you will heal in time. It is still early in the game but you've heard enough of us tell you that!

PaLady

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13469
   Posted 7/3/2009 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice, I honestly think your stress level is creating alot of problems for you.
More so than you realize. I don't think you are able to relax, therefore, your body is staying knotted up and this will help create pain. It will also  cause the pain level to stay on the rise. I am afraid your nerves are close to being shot. All of these negatives things you have going on around you really does have a very negative effect on your recovery.
 
In all fairness to you at this point, I think if I were you, I would request that the husband limit the visitation to a day visit where he can take the kids somewhere else for the day, not at your house, until you are on your feet better. You need to be expending energy concentrating on things you can do to get yourself over this hump-you do not need alot of distractions. This is just nuts what you are going thru and putting up with-enough girl. In fact, Iwould be having this conversation with him this evening-he needs to understand your health needs better.
 
So, I take it that he thinks its ok for those kids to be disrespectfull to you? If thats the case, he needs to take his kids and leave, sorry. I never tolerated that kind of crap. I had a step-daughter that the daddy thought did no wrong, she was mean as a snake. By the time she got to jr high she was kicked out school. I did not take any crap from her or him when it came to his daughter. My own children did not act that way and I sure was not going to put up with someone elses doing it. If he can't understand that, then he would be out with me. I flat was not going to allow her to be a bad influence on my own children. Are you telling me that ever since you had surgery his kids have been at your home every weekend? Thats insane!
 
I have a newer model for a TENS unit and I love mine. Not only does it help with the pain, but helps with muscle spasm. In effect it can work a muscle without damaging the muscle.
 
Time is your friend on your recovery. It will get better it just takes time.  
Straydog/Susie
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & decreased circulation in both legs. Swveral other health issues just not enough roo to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 16 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 7/3/2009 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
PaLady, The pain is hard to describe. It is different than before the surgery. My right side does feel a little better. It is not gone, but much better than the left side. It isn't from the incision. That part is fine. The back pain is better than before the surgery. It is my left lower back,hip and buttock. It is deep,stinging,aching and sharp all combined. It may be nerve pain. All I know is that it is horrible at best.I can't sit for long without getting up and moving around a little. And if I am up moving too long, when I sit, I can't hardly get up moving again. No foot drops anymore. And I don't drag that leg. Surgery did fix that part. I will just keep on keeping on. What choice do I have? What choice do any of us have?

Susie, Step-kids are gone. They don't act that way around husband. No, he doesn't tolerate it from them. He demands they respect me. But when he leaves the room...They don't do him that way. I have already explained that the every weekend thing will stop.I can't/won't do it anymore. It is way too much on me.Mother in-law is fine. She is not demanding and very easy to please. And yes, my nerves are shot. I am working on that too. Husband is being good to me and very understanding. I think he is worried I am about to snap..scarey thought. I am not going to snap. I will get through this just as I have all the other things in my life. Thanks for being my cheerleader!!!
anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 7/3/2009 10:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
I think you've had way more improvement than you're giving yourself credit for! I have a hunch the expectation you have set up is for all the pain to be gone. That's certainly what we all want, but the fact one side has improved, and the foot drop has stopped and it's still only been a matter of weeks is a great sign! Please pay more attention to the improvements that you're already experiencing!

Hugs,

PaLady
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