I am so so sorry you are hurting so bad! I can relate to everything you said I do exactly what you have done over and over again even though I know I shouldn't! Its our nature! Ready made Potato Salad can substitute for today...focus on being together with your family...they will understand! Maybe try alternating the Heat and Ice for a few hours sometimes it does work for an acute injury better then just heat!
I am with PaLady on this one. I too hope you are scared if that is what its going to take to get you to understand the seriousness of your siuation concerning your back. Come on Anice, several attempts of pulling on someone who is dead weight and sometimes you are unable to do 3 small walks a day, I do not get it. Even an eleven year old said don't do it. I have to wonder now how many weeks this may knocked you back in your progress. You were making some progress although you didn't believe it. One step forward and ten back, oh I sure hope not.
Everyone of us here have been guilty of overdoing at some time or another. But we also have to be realistic when it comes to limitations whether they are temporary or permament and accept it and move on. Yes, many of us have told you that you are overdoing it and and doing too much too soon, these words have come from some that have had back surgery and know what the ins and outs are, the do's and the don't's and you have ignored them. Barreling thru and totally disregarding your own common sense is heading you straight to big trouble, then you can only blame yourself, you cannot blame the dr, he did his part. Your dr told you the surgery was a little more involved than he thought it would be, but once he got in there there was a little more than he had counted on, this is something they cannot foresee until they have you open. That should have been your red flag, you totally ignored it.
Honey, do not just use the heating pad and keep it at 20 minute intervals. Alternate with ice. Try soaking in a warm tub with Epsom salts, it really helps the muscles. No kidding. All we can do here is try to offe up some things that have helped us along the way.
You need to put the Wonder Woman costume away and save it for Halloween. Be someone that recently had back surgery and needs to slow things down and tone them down. We gotta get you past this somehow. Call your dr if it he get mad at what you did, he needs to know.
Well bless your heart. I can see you are very offend by my comment about being super woman. Terribly sorry it offened you. Ill stay clear. Best wishes.
I can assure you none of us here ever wanted to quit or lose our jobs because of our health issues. We made much more money working than we can possbily can ever receive from any type of disability benefit. Not only was monetary issues involved, but feeling like an active member of society, being a productive person and above all feeling normal. As strange as it may sound I still pray to have my health returned to me, I don't think I am alone when I make that statement either.
I know you felt we were being hard on you-we probably were but only in a sense of trying to get your attention. Whether you want to admit it or not you have made improvements since surgery. The old pain is gone, that is a wonderful improvement in itself and that should have told you something. You are building more and more strength as every day passes. When it comes to surgery there never is a quick fix. Perhaps this has been your first surgery and you did not know what to expect, I am not sure.
I have watched you go from an upbeat person who was going to have her surgery and do well, to someone that seems to be thinking she is not really going to get any better and you are spending too much time thinking that way. That kind of thinking will hand you nothing but trouble. You are letting the bumps in the road have way to much importance. You were somewhat hesitant when you were put in PT, it showed in your posts. PaLady and many others have explained the importance of rehab after back surgery. It is just as critical as the surgery itself. You cannot allow denial to take over with your health. You are a nurse you should know these things.
I do know you love your job but trying to go back too soon and then not being able to handle it could hand you more trouble than you think. Your employer will expect you to be able to do your job when you return. If you go back and are unable to do the job, the employer may look at you in a different light. Need to think about that.
I have thought much about the new pain you are having. I am wondering if alot of this is more of a structure type problem left over from pre-surgery days. Meaning how you walked and carried yourself when you were in such bad shape before surgery. If you think about it, you were not walking or even carrying your weight correctly where it would be distributed evenly all over. Now, that pain is gone your body is re-adjusting to a correct posture and distribution of weight. Think about it. Its a thought, have seen it before. Kind of like injuring a knee and over working the good knee type of thing. This is where your PT will pay off.
Everyone here wants you to be well and be able to return to work. But trying to force the issue when you are not ready physically is not a good thing.
You are so right those two C-sections were a piece of cake compared to this back surgery,lol. Back surgery is such a tough cookie to recuperate from. Its like its a hurry up and get there to have the surgery, but the complete healing process can be such a long one. Its a shame that some drs will not sit down and actually talk to a patient and explain the recovery process. I also know if they were really honest and gave the estimated time frame to recover enough to return to work -most people would decline surgery because of the economics involved. Who wants to be told when they are having a lumbar fusion it will take a minimum of a year for the fusion to heal-I said fusion not the patient. Thats why it is easier for these drs to talk text book language. By doing so-they have covered themselves liability wise.
By having a little higher pain level on the days you attend PT indicates you are getting somewhere. You cannot believe the muscle tone you have lost since being off of work due to this surgery and your PT will help get that strength back properly. There are good therapist and there are bad ones true. But as a patient we have the right to either change or ask for a different therapist.
If its a nerve involved then you know nothing but time can heal a nerve. Someone had posted not long ago that they were 2 1/2 yrs post-op lumbar fusion and they were just finally have decreased nerve pain=I know tha gave PaLady some hope.
Something else you need to think about when returning to work. Even the very best employers can get an attitude when an employee is off of work, its just a given. Meaning when you do return to work, you need to be able to return to work and do your normal job. I think if you push returning to work too soon, then if you get there and you are not able to handle the work and need to go back off of work-the employer may look at you in a totally different light. The employer may look at you as a liability versus an employ. Thats why its important that once released you will be handle your job.
Get that old fight back in you, think about how bad it ws right before surgery when you were hanging on by a thread. If depression is playing a role hereand I think it is, then get on an antidepressant to help smooth out the rough edges. If you are already on one, then its not working too good for you and you need a different one. Depression can and has ruined lives remember that. Don't become a victim of it.
Remember above all you will get past all of this. One day you will look back and think-boy what was I thinking,lol.