I have TMJ from an old car wreck and let me tell you, you have plenty of reason to hurt, its an awful pain and a hard one to deal with. Mine caused terrible neck pain, headaches and I had started gritting and grinding my teeth, which in turn caused terrible jaw problems. Eventually I got the dx and started treatment for it. My treatment back then and this was when they first starting treating people was a muscle relaxer and something for pain. I had a mouth appliance that back then was like $500, that was alot of money in the really, really early 80's. I also used moist heat, I cannot do the cold stuff and I was also put on an anti-inflam too, A friend of mine went thru the horrific surgery to correct hers, she was alot braver than me. She dropped a ton of money on her mouth believe me, ended up in braces for 3 years. After surgery her mouth was wired shut for six weeks, I remember her sipping stuff thru a straw and I remember how painful the surgery was for her.
If you do not have an appliance to wear you can get them at the drug stores I think maybe $25. Most likely at night you are grinding on your teeth and may not know it. It may not do a thing for the TMJ but it will sure cut back the grinding and save your teeth. They now make them so you don't have to put them in boiling water to get them to conform to your mouth. I had to wear mine in the very beginning 24 hours a day, what a pain. Felt like I had a mouth full of crap. My old wet/dry heating pad crapped out on me-so what I do is take a hand towel and wet it, wring it out, then put it in the micro wave for a few seconds and voila, I have a moist heating pad. Moist heat is much better. Careful not to get the hand towel too hot. Other than this I really cannot offer up much more other than alot of moral support. I hope you can get this settled down.