Welcome to the forum. Does your company offer the EAP (employee assistance program)? Alot of companyies do, it is a free & confidential way to get counseling for stress, depression, even financial help. Sorry to hear of all your problems and hope you can get help soon.
Hi XRGirl and welcome to Healing Well. I am so glad you have found us, but always hate to see another person suffering as we do. WOW 15 vicodin a day, I am with Frances, do you have a liver left? Does your dr rx your vicodin at 15 a day or is it what you take a day in an effort to get the pain level down? There are many medications available today that are very good. Sometimes its a combination of meds that works the best. I would think you would do much better on a long acting then have something for break thru pain. But, I am not a dr and no one else on the forum is either.
You really do have too much on your plate and you need help no doubt. You medical needs are not being met, you are tryng to hold down a full time job, being a fulltime parent, thats alot especially with bad health. Only a strong person can handle CP, it is not for the weak kneed and you are far from that.
No doubt you are a very good mom but you can only do so much. Its like what one of the other posted, its quality time with your kids, not quanity. Some of the others have given you some info and I think everyone pretty much agrees you need proper pain mgt care. Now whether its with your current dr or a new which may be the way you need to go, someone has got to pay attention here and help you out. I would get an appt with the dr for as soon as he is back, if he does not offer up anything in ways of help and relief, then my next step would be searching for a new pain mgt dr and get my PCP to make the ref.
Whatever you do, if you decide to change pain mgt drs, be sure the new dr rx's medication. Not all pain dr do, some do injections and procedures only no meds.
Please come back and let us know how you are doing. I think you will find this group to be one of the most caring groups you can possibly ever find. Please take care of yourself.