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anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/7/2009 10:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi friends, I just wanted to update everyone. Not that my life is all that interesting, but just wanted to let you know.
 
I did PT yesterday. It always makes me hurt more that evening. I don't get it. My mom asked me yesterday why I do it if it hurts me more later. I said that was a good question and I didn't have an answer to it. I do it b/c I am suposed to. My therapist had me go over to the hosp. to the fitness center and get the paperwork to join. I did that. It will only be $35 a month vs. the $40 a week I am paying for PT. That will be a big help to me financially. I'll get all that filled out and turned back in on Monday. They have all the equipment stuff, a swimming pool, whirlpool, and a sauna. I am not big into the workout thing, but I am into saving money. My therapist said he would meet me over there one day and go over the things I should do and how to do them. And the someone from the center will walk around with me to get me started too. That will help. So this is a good thing.
 
I had my first counseling session yesterday. I didn't get to stay too long. My PT lasted longer than usual and she had another appt. in a few minutes. It only lasted about 15-20 min. I did get to meet her and go over what we hope to do. She is a marriage and family therapist and she does specialize in many different areas, pain is one of them. She said that she does think it will help me as far as reducing anxiety and stress and that it might help with the pain I am in. Well, we will see. I am going back on Monday to get started and see what happens.
 
I have an appt. on Aug. 17 with my surgeon(orthopedic).At that appt. I am going to ask for him to release me to go back to work. I have almost been out for 4 months now. That is long enough. I am not meaning to sound negative, but I don't think things are going to change as far as how I feel. It hasn't as of yet and I don't think it is going to. I am left with pain, deep setted nerve pain. I feel it is b/c I waited way too long to have the surgery. I walked around like that for 10 months, knowing I needed the surgery but putting it off as long as I could... Well, it was too long. I really feel strongly about this. And I plan on getting an answer to verify what I think to be the truth when I am there. I want him to say it. Maybe he doesn't want to admit that he didn't "fix" me. Maybe that is why he keeps putting my going back to work off. Well, I don't blame him. I think he tried his best. But it was severely compressed from the nerve root from on top where the disc was pressing and from below where bone was pushing up into it. That is just the way it is. And I think it is senseless to keep postponing me going back to work. It isn't going to get any better. I have accepted that. And I am ready to suck it up and go on with what is left of my life. I want to get back to work. For finances, I have to. I can't put it off any longer. I'll wear the tens' unit and use good judgement(not picking up on the kids, or lifting anything that is heavy without help, good body mechanics, etc.) and take the pain meds when I get home. I have a rx. for the percocet but I won't take it while working. I didn't take anything before when I was suffering so bad at work. It doesn't make me feel "high" or anything. To me it isn't much different than taking a motrin or something. I guess it is b/c I am hurting... But anyway, I am dealing with children and medication. I don't want my judgement to be impaired at all. I am calling meds into the pharmacy and that is important to get it exactly right on my part. And I am giving shots to children. And talking to parents and giving information to them on what to do for their sick child. I will make it through the day, and take it when I get off work. Anyway, it is time. I don't want to prolong this anymore. It is time to get back to work. I want to be released, period. Enough is enough. I will sign whatever I have to. I am pretty much at the point to where I think I have recovered all that I am going to recover. I am not being negative or pessimistic. These are just the facts, as far as I am concerned. I am keeping in the back of my mind that it may take up to two years before I know for certain. I am not giving up hope completely. But, I want to go back to work. I don't want to wait around day after day waiting for something that isn't going to happen. And that is what I feel like I am doing. Anyway, I am going on the 17th. My plan is to start back to work on that Thursday (20th). That way I will work 2 days and then have the weekend. It will be working up to working a full week. I think that is best. I know that I always leave his office crying and all upset- crying buckets of tears, running my BP up and everything else. I am prepared this time. I will argue with him if I have to. I will do whatever I have to do. MY PT therapist said he will back me up too any way he can. There is no need in me being off from work any longer. I know it won't be easy. I know I will be hurting. But I also know that I will deal with it. I can do this. I have to. And more than that, I want to get back to work. I know it will help me emotionally, and most of all financially!!! So I will let you know when I find out...
 
My husband still hasn't found a job. He has been looking and trying. So, if he hasn't started working when I go back, then I am not putting the kids in daycare. I am not going to pay for daycare if he isn't working. That will also save me $680 a month in daycare expenses. I am going to make him up some flyers for home repairs etc. and post them, for evening and weekend work. He can do that and still work. I think it will work out for us this way. And the good thing about it is I won't have to take off work when the kids are sick. I can let my time build up again. I think this will work. He can get a pretty good business going on the evenings and weekends and still make some good money. So that is the plan. I won't allow him to do nothing. And this is different. He is trying to get a job and he is all down and getting depressed b/c he just can't find one. Times are hard right now. And places are downsizing and dropping hours everywhere. Economy is just not good.
 
I wish you all the best. I am sorry I haven't been posting much lately. And now this book! I am wishing you all a low pain day. I hope you all have a good weekend, too.
Anice
 

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 8/7/2009 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello anice thank you for the up date!
Sure wish you were feeling better and had better results from surgery.

Becareful about pools at GYM/Clubs make sure they use chlorine in the pools and maybe buy a pool testing kit to check it yourself, I say this
in caution as a friend of mine was using a well too do gym and his doctor thinks he just got a septic infection from the clubs pool and came close
to being in the hospital for it..those pools hold lots of bacterias and if you can't smell the chlorine, just don't use it...not worth the extra doctor
bills...
But , the stationary bikes are a good thing to use, the ones that you have a long back pad, a put a pillow on mine and the thred mills at gyms are
very good, so maybe ask about starting with those...
Has you husband tried www.monster.com it's a good job hunting site, just a thought..

You sounded a little better in this post anice and sure hope things will continue to be good for you..
will be thinking of you,
lots and lots of soft hugz....
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


Smoochie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/7/2009 11:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice,

we are in the same boat as far as going back to work that is what I am in the process of doing, I have been out since June of last year and I just cant take it anymore, no money, and it sucks! My husband is on disability but it is though his pention so he is able to work also and he is doing just that, but the cost of my medical (which just ran out!) was outrageous and it broke us. My doctor gladly signed my paperwork in fact it was so bad that I was standing in the office while they were waiting for him to come out of a room with a patient in it when he did he said hi to me and then proceeded to ask the nurse who this person was on the letter, I was so important that he doesn't even remember me!! But back to work I go I just hope I can find something. Alot of the type of jobs I do will not let you do them while taking narcotics, because you have to have it all togeher and I CANT work without them, but I really do need the money. I wish you and you husband the best of luck and I hope you get your letter from him and get back to work as soon as you can. I know how you feel about waiting to lng for surgery that is the way I feel, I didn't have it for over five years after they told me I would benefit from it but I was scared, my dad had back surgery and was worse the rest of his life, but I did it and now I am worse than I was, so I don't know maybe I should have waited longer,lol. Anyway, good luck to you and a baby hug sent your way!

Kel
 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/7/2009 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Anice,
Just a brief note before I go off for a nap! I do hope things work out for you. If your PT is behind you then maybe it is ok to go back. I'm also glad you're starting with a counselor. She can maybe help you sort this all out.

Have you had an MRI since your surgery (sorry, I can't remember). A few months after mine, when I was still having problems, my doctor ordered one (have to do it with contrast after the my fusion but I'm not sure about your surgery). Anyway, that's when some "soft tissue" inflammation was seen around one of the nerve roots. So there was some obvious cause to the continuing pain that the fusion didn't relieve. He thought maybe over time....and we all think that. And that's what we want to hear. I think the only thing you need to find out is will you do harm to yourself by going back too soon? Can you go back part time, or do light duty (like desk duty) for awhile? Just some thoughts.

I'm sorry I can't think anymore!! But am still sending more hugs!

((((((((((Anice))))))))))))

PaLady

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/7/2009 4:33 PM (GMT -7)   

 

   Dear Anice,

Good evening *huggs* I was glad you stopped by last night. Very cool.

It sounds like you have a good re-entry plan in place. All of what you have done seems very goal oriented and well thought out.  Hopefully it will be a some what smooth transition. I really hope this is the time where the surgeon agrees.  :-)

*huggs*

dani


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3610
   Posted 8/7/2009 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
anice

I understand your situation, and I think you ar making the right decision! I also think you have an Outstanding attitude about it all, keep going to counseling that will help you so much, and with the exercise progeram at you hospital, well maybe you will still have some pain but hopefully you will be able to still work and be productive! I do hope you will still find time to post and keep your family here informed about how you are doing! You are very good at helping others and I hope you can continue doing that!
I wish you well anice and thanks for the update!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/7/2009 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I just now saw how long my post was. I am sorry for that. I have a big rambling problem. I promise to work on this. Indeed it was way too long.

Thank each of you for you post. It means alot to me to have your support. I have come to grow so close to all of you over these past several months. And your thoughts and opinions do mean a great deal to me.

I will slow my thoughts down some. Something just told me that earlier this afternoon. I don't want to be disappointed when I go to the dr. and then he tells me no, again. I've been there, done that more than once. I should have learned my lesson by now. So, those are MY plans. But I'll take it day by day and wait and see what happens when I see him. I feel in my heart of hearts that going back to work is in my best interests. I really do. I know I'll feel better emotionally for certain. Physically, I am going to hurt no matter if I am home or at work. The way I see it is it would be better to be getting paid while I am hurting...

I'll stop now or it will end up being another novel!!!LOL I do hope you are all doing okay tonight. And I hope everyone is able to sleep well.
Anice

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3610
   Posted 8/7/2009 7:57 PM (GMT -7)   
anice
You have my support as well as everyone here, I think I am safe in assuming that! I did not and do not consider your post rambling! Heck look at most of mine! I can't write a shorrt post I don't think! One think Please take care of yourself and if your working please don't over do it, be good and gentle with yourself!

Good Luck to You!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/7/2009 9:19 PM (GMT -7)   
WhiteBeard, Thank you for both of your replys. It means alot to me. I know I do talk way too much, but thanks anyway.

I will do my best not to overdo things. I know it will not be easy going back to work. I hurt alot, all the time. And I won't work and take the percocet. So it will be even harder that way. I do hope the doctor will release me. One good thing is we only have 4 exam rooms on our side. I know I'll be on my feet alot, lots of back and forth trips. But I will pace myself and know that I can't fly down that hallway anymore!!! It's been a long time since I've been able to do that anyway. he he It will be a big adjustment for me. I don't do alot of things around the house anymore. My husband and son do the majority of the houshold stuff now. So I am not used to being on my feet that much. But I am soooo ready to go back. I will get me a good pair of shoes, no more crocks. I do think that will help. And I'll wear my tens' unit too. That will help some too. I will make the best of it. I sure do hope he'll release me this time. It has been almost 4 months since the surgery. I had it on April 22nd. It is time now to get back to work. I won't lift the babies anymore. I know I won't be able to. And I will miss that. That was something I did all the time and loved it. When I would give the shots and after the mother/father calmed them a bit, I would ask to hold them to let them know I wasn't the horrible mean nurse. It meant alot to me. But I'll figure something else out to do. I just won't be able to lift the babies and small children anymore, the newborns are still okay!!!! Gosh, I miss that place. My co-workers still don't understand that. I guess they think I've been at home eating bon bons and watching tv all day. But I do miss work. And I am more than ready to get back to it.

Here I go again... Goodnight and sweet dreams to everyone.
Anice

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 8/7/2009 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
So sorry I haven't been around to support my friends which you are one high up on Pete's list! Then when I do get on here, all I do is write about myself!> Selfish>selfih>selfish foul>dude!! I promiss to try to keep up w/ y'all's posts from now on! Wow, you really are going back to work?? You are one remarkable gal I'll tell you! After what you have been through the last couple months, I think if all that happened to many of us, we'd be locked up in the loonie house somewhere by now!!!
YES!!! Good shoes will make all the difference! Please get yourself a good pair of walking shoes! I'm glad your tens helps you! That should help as you won't be taking pain pills at work!! That in it self is amazing, I know there's no way I could work w/o them!!! What about some sort of support back brace? I used to use one all the time at work for my lower back even if I wasn't lifting anything. Just for standing and walking it helped me alot! I have several ruptured disks and some other problems (DDD & stenosis) down there in lumbarland and my stretchbelt helped alot, especially when I got tired!!! I also used those icyhot patches sometimes. I don't know if they help get rid of the pain but the do change the sensation kind of like a tens does and causes a distraction from the pain. Good luck Little Sister!! You have a whole lot of family here pulling for you!!!!
I got you covered in my prayes!
Be tough, IO know you are> Did I ever tell you your my hero?
Hugy~Wugs!!!
Pete
56 years old, Surgury, Radical Prostatectomy 8/20/03, PSA 6.6, Gleason 3 + 3 = 6, Adenocarcinoma extent (moderate) Stage & Margin:T2NOMX, No Metastases, Organ Confined, bone scan: Neg. 3 1/2 years of depression after surgery prior to Hypogonadizm DX, Testosterone Theropy> new 2/6/09> 400mg injections once a month. 56 and so glad to still be here to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men. They are both serving in the US Navy, Joseph is on the aircraft carrier USS John Stennis back in Bremerton, Wa. after 8 mo. deployment! and Pete Jr. is on The Asault Ship USS Bataan "The Jaws of the Fleet" somewhere in the Persian Gulf w/ 2,000 Marines aboard. I am one very proud (what they call me)> Big Pops! 


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/8/2009 9:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Pete, It is always wonderful to hear from you. You are my hero too. And there is no need to apoligize for not being around. You have alot going on in your life. Although I do miss you, it is perfectly understandable and not need to apoligize. You always have a way of making me smile. You indeed are a funny guy!!!

And yes, I do hope to go back to work. That is my plan, and has been for a long time. I just hope the doctor will agree. I will get a good pair of shoes. Money is tight so most likely they will be WalMart shoes. But I'll get some inserts with them and hopefully that will be enough until I can afford to get better. I will wear the tens unit. It helps some, not alot. But at this point some is better than none at all. I don't have a back brace. I have heard alot of people wear them after surgery. My doctor never told me to wear one. I am not sure why. I know I can get something at the drugstore and I might have to do that. And no, I can't take the percocet at work. It really doesn't EVER give me a high feeling or fuzzy in the head, but working with medicine and kids, I feel that I never want my judgement to be "off". Medication errors are not that unheard of. They do happen. But I have never made one, and I certainly don't want to. That is one of the main reasons I don't take them at work. In the 10-11 months I worked and suffered with the pain, only twice did I take them. And it was only half of it. It was in the afternoon on both times, and I knew if I didn't I would have to go home due to the pain. And ofcourse half didn't help a great deal, it did take the edge off and I was able to finish the days.

I don't know how "remarkable" I am. I certainly don't feel that way. Yes, I do think I have been through alot in the past couple months. Many times, I did think I needed to be locked up somewhere in the looney house!!he he I sure didn't feel too far from it many times. I know all of you helped me with that a great deal. And I did pull myself up. You all are great.

I do have some lidocaine patches. They are samples from the doctors office. I wear them some. And they do help somewhat at times. A patch lasts for 8 hours. It gives a numbing sensation. I may have to alternate between them and the tens' unit to make it though the day at work. We'll see. I have stenosis as well. I just wish I would wake up one day and not hurt. Even a day sure would be nice. I know we all wish that. I'd settle for an hour of not hurting...But it is what it is.

Thank you all for your support. It means the world to me. I am very glad I have such a wonderful family here. I certainly feel blessed to be a part of all of you.
Anice

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/8/2009 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
Some kind of back support I think is a good idea. Not only to support your back, but it's a reminder when you move certain ways - it may keep you from going to far, bending over too much, etc., and that's a good thing because we're creatures of habit! My doctor didn't prescribe one after my fusion, but I asked for one anyway figuring the insurance would pay for it (they didn't, even with a doctor's order but I'm still glad I have it). I really didn't use it a lot when recovering but I still use it now when I'm going to undertake certain activities around the house. It's not the big stiff braces a lot of people get after surgeries. But it's a nice one because not only is it velcro, but it's got these two straps you can pull to close it (and they velcro on, too) and adjust how tight it is. You can make it fairly snug, but it's still comfortable.

I'd suggest asking your physical therapist about one that you could use to work in. They also have lots of catalogs and may be able to order you one at cost. My PT gave me a catalog to order an SI joint belt, but he measured me first to tell me what size to buy.

Also, I get shoe inserts from a place called Hapad (hapad.com) that my PT gave me, and found if I buy them online in packs of 2 or 3 they're cheaper than in a store. Hope it's ok for me to post that, but if not a moderator can edit it. That's fine with me.

Hugs,

PaLady

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 8/8/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice,

Your continued strength & determination really impresses me. You are such a fighter. It sounds like you have really thought this through. I hope that your doctor agrees to release you, or at least to compromise & let you go back to work part time, even if it is only a few hours a day. It sounds like you really love your job. I'm sure that your passion shows & that your patients and their parents look up to you, and that your presence has been greatly missed. Use this next week to gain some continued strength!

hugs,
Skeye

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/8/2009 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Just make sure you don't over do it Anice, I find when I'm working theres the memory part of my brain that still wants to do things the way I used to and then theres the physical reality!!! Try and re organise how you work to minimise damage. Working is tough on the body but good on the mind! But best of luck with your specialist appt, best wishes, golitho

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/9/2009 4:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks PaLady, I appreciate it. I will look into the brace and see what I can do to get one. I do think it will give added support. I will also check into the website you suggested. I am all about doing things that will help and save on money.

Skeye, You wrote a beautiful post. That sure was sweet of you. And I thank you for that. I have thought this through. And I too hope he releases me. I can't go back part time b/c I would lose my insurance. You have to work full time to keep the benefits. Yes, I do love my job and I miss it terribly.
.
Golitho, I will do my best not to overdo it. I know it won't be easy returning to work. But I can do this. I'll just do it a little more slowly than before and more carefully.

It does mean so much to have all of your support. I will find out if my plans will actually happen one week from tomorrow. My doctor appt is next Monday the 17th. Hopefully this is my last week!!! We'll see.
Anice

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/9/2009 4:39 PM (GMT -7)   
I'll cross my fingers for you, Anice. But hang in there if he still says no, won't you. Healing can be a tough ride emotionally, thinking of you, golitho
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