troubling phone call today

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anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/14/2009 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been trying for the past couple days to get in touch with my nursing supervisor. I did get to talk with her today. I explained why. I wanted to explain the dr. standpoint on me returning to work. I really think he intends to keep me out the full 6 months. Anyway, I asked what I can do, if he won't release me and I really want to return to work. Well, she asked again what I had. I told her laminectomy. She said that usually relieves the pain immediately. And she said, "And you're STILL in pain"? I said yes.And that I do think it is nerve pain because I waited too long to have the surgery. But that I am willing to accept this and I am ready to go on with my life. I want to get back to work,next week. I explained to her that I respect the dr. and I am not holding him liable for any wrong doing. And that I am so determined to go back to work, if he won't release me, I'll sign a AMA. She told me right quick that if I did that I would not be allowed to come back. And then she said if I was out for 6 months, I would have to be let go...I am really upset. If the dr won't release me, and I end up being out longer than the 6 month mark, I lose my job!!!!! She did advice me to offer to go back on light duty(desk work), or to work 6 hrs a day vs the 8hr day, if he does refuse to let me go back. This is really upsetting me today. I guess one thing is that she seemed concerned that I am still hurting. It was just the tone in her voice. She usually is real nice to me. This caught me off guard today. I know it is hard on her to provide coverage for me everyday for this long. But it was her questioning me and my pain as if I am not still hurting. I guess she is turning out to be one of those who think I have been laid up eating bon bons all day. And that this has been a time off filled with fun and relaxation...You know the people I am talking about. Well, she is one of those now. We talked a few minutes, I thanked her, and told her I'd call her Monday and let her know. She said if I get released, I can start back Tuesday. I plan to start back on Thursday. That is b/c I think it will be easier on me to start on Thursday, work 2 days, and then start a new week. I also have a PM appt. on Wednesday that I don't want to have to ask off for. Wednesday is my doctors day off anyway..All of this has really gotten to me today. And I am scared. I am scared he won't let me go back to work. And I am scared of losing my job. And I am scared b/c our finances are bad, and I really do miss work and want to go back. I am going to have to relax and try to clear my mind of this. If I don't I'll have a miserable weekend and worry myself sick. I don't want that. I have no control over the future(Monday). I have no control over the doctor. And I can only live one day at a time. I will try hard to stop worrying so much about this. I had it all planned out in my head how it was going to be. I'll just talk to the doctor and be  honest and try to explain how I feel. and I'll be open to listen to his view point as well. Hopefully we together can reach some sort of compromise or something. I will be glad when Monday is here. I know I'll feel better then. I either go back to work or I don't. It's just that simple. I don't and won't do anything to injure myself. So when I said I'd sign a AMA, although I would, I guess that won't be necessary...Thanks for listening. It means alot. I know you all get tired of the same stuff from me all the time. It is really bothering me. And I am trying to come to peace with it.
Anice
 

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/14/2009 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Anice, now take a big deep breath and calm yourself down. There is a lot of "what if's" going on here. Try to just take it easy and deal with this a step at a time, you know you can do it. Explain the whole situation to your surgeon on Monday. Is he the type who listens? I really hope so. But until then be positive. Think positively and try to relax. yeah
I'll cross my fingers for you on Monday, golitho :-)

anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/14/2009 9:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Golitho, Thank you. I just came back to this with the intention of deleting the whole thread. I was just upset and needed to vent. I wish I had deleted this one...It is just stressing me out. But I am working on it hard!!! Thank you for your encouragement and support. I'll be okay. Worrying and stressing isn't going to change the outcome at all. It is just upsetting me and making it worse.
Anice

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/14/2009 11:34 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
   Dear Anice,
 
     Good evening *huggs* I am glad you were able to get in touch with your supervisor, but it seems to be a double edged sward she has handed you. sad   I am sure she has he reasons, but I would have expected the same level of compassion and understanding she has shown you the last few months? I hope that you are able to work out a comfortable compramise with both your doctor and supervisor. Sure seems like you have a whole heck of alot of people all pulling you in differant directions, all at once. I think I would be tired if I were in your shoes. *huggs* Hang in there
 
*warm huggs*
   dani
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/15/2009 12:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice,
I'm so sorry that your supervisor did not seem very understanding. My guess is she's working with some policies that are part of their human resources practices. Six months usually is the time after which someone is considered on long term disability rather than short term. But she offered some options I wouldn't close the door on quickly - like the light duty, or less hours. That may end up being better for you physically, plus maybe your doctor would agree more to that for now, and it would keep you at your workplace. You may be able to return to your old duties sometime in the future, but even if you can't (worst case scenario) you may be able to do light duty, and that's better than nothing. Especially since you like your job.

Try to do some relaxation exercises over the weekend. Listen to some calming music. Do a little journaling.

Accepting all of this is never easy. I'm still fighting my own inner battle. So don't beat yourself up for the fact that what we may know in our heads can take awhile to get to our heart. And you don't know all the pieces to the puzzle yet.

((((((((((Anice))))))))))

PaLady

Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 8/15/2009 1:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice: First, take a few slow deep breaths - in through your nose and out through your mouth. This really does help :-) . I totally understand how you must be feeling right now, but things WILL get better. Try your best to relax and not think about Monday, until Monday. I know that may sound stupid (and I know it's not easy), but it is what I try to do when I'm feeling like you are right now. When I am nervous, scared, or doubtful about something  coming up, I always tell myself that stressing myself out over it will not change the situation or make it any better/easier - it only makes me miserable. I always remind myself that whatever is goiing to happen is going to happen. I also recite the Serenity Prayer - out loud. It helps. I will be thinking of you and sending you some positive energy! yeah

bsjaguar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 8/15/2009 1:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice, I know how bad you want to be able to get back to work full time but starting back slow & easy is pretty much standard practice. I do understand the scared feeling you are having. When I had my lumbar fusion I was off work 4 months, went back for two weeks then my cervical spine went to crap and was back off work to get it fused for 3 months. When I went in to talk to HR at my work place she kept using the terms "If you come back to work". That was scary cause I was a single parent and needed my job back. Good luck but your body needs a chance to get back into the swing of things slowly then ramped up to full speed.
---Jag---
 
DDD, osteoarthritis, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3


fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 8/15/2009 2:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Anice, it does get old after awhile, waiting to see if they are going to release you to go to work. I hope the Dr releases you at least to go back light duty or shortened hours. That is not the same as whet you were doing but at least it would get you back. Bon Bons and Soap Operas will do you in.LOL Is it possible that your supervisor might have been having a bad day to? I have to remind myself that when I am having a bad day, it is possible that others are doing the same. I am believing for the best, you deserve it.

BionicWoman
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 8/15/2009 3:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't know why, but for some reason I thought you had a fusion, anice.

I don't think you're out of line AT ALL for wanting to go back to work at 4 months post-op. My first surgery was a double laminectomy and discectomy at L4/L5 and L5/S1. I went back to work part time (20-hour week) at 10 weeks post-op and back to my regular full time schedule (50-60 hour weeks) at 12 weeks post-op.

Unless you have other medical issues that cause you to heal slower or have had major surgical complications, I can't imagine why your doctor wouldn't think you're healed enough to go back to work, especially if you want to. Seems to me surgeons usually have the opposite problem, with people wanting to be kept out of work when they're really capable of going back.

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3610
   Posted 8/15/2009 4:02 AM (GMT -7)   

anice

The "what ifs" will get you every time! So Please don't let the  "what ifs" do that to you! Hopefully things will work out for you! I am sayig a prayer that they will.  You know even when I was in the military they started me off at work doing only a couple of hours a day and I had to gradually work up to working full time. It took many months before I was working a full 8 hours a day! I understand that money is tight and you need to work, but what about your husband? Is he working yet? If he can't find work in his chosen field, can't he find something else to do in some other job? I am not sure I understand?? I am just wondering why it is only up to you to work?

Anyway anice try and keep your chin up, and don't let the "what ifs" get you down! We all care about you and we are all rooting for you!

White Beard


Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


anice
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 536
   Posted 8/15/2009 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
I want to thank all of you so very much for all your support. I'lll get through the weekend. And then Monday will be here. I am going to try relax some. It is going to be a long weekend!!!! Your support and encouragement means everything to me.
Anice

skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 8/15/2009 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((Anice))))))))). I hope things work out for you! I think they will! Keep the faith, and try not to think about all this over the weekend (I know, I know, that is much easier said than done).

Skeye
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