disasterous dr. visit

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/21/2009 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
 i wish so badly i could jump through the computer screen in to a place where alot of you were. i need someone to talk to . my husband is wrung out too. i had a 2nd visit  with a pain specialist yesterday. my husband went with me. it would take too long to tell everyting that went on at the visit, but suffice to say it was a complete disaster! the "Dr." has the personality of a wet fish and the lacked any compassion. i have been jumping through hoops lately, going from dr. to dr. trying to come off alot of my meds. and change some others. frankly the lists of my meds. were scary. i kept trying to get drs. to take me off things but my main dr. actually put me on more! im in so much pain, both physically and mentally. have any of you ever been able to find a pain specialist that actually had compassion for his/her patients? am i expecting too much? did it take you a while to find a dr. that you could work with and that would treat you with dignity and respect? this dr. actually walked out of the room leaving my husband p-od and me sobbing. he even agreed that he was probably undertreating my pain, but he wasnt willing to increase my pain meds for at least 4 more weeks. thats an eternity when youre in severe pain! i have already taken all the tests to evaluate my liklihood of becoming addicted. my psychiatrist did all that with me and i came through with flying colors. I AM IN SEVERE PAIN! i dont understand why it is so near to impossible to get adequate pain relief. why have a few rotten apples been allowed to spoil things for the rest of us? im so angry and frustrated. i have done EVERYTHING right. i have been sick for a long time and my pain has not been treated  to the extent that it should. my other drs. seem to get that , but they are not allowed to right scripts for strong pain meds. so, finally i was sent to this "specialist". id rather keep wrything in pain than go to him again. he , i believe, has a "God" complex. are they all like that? please, someone, hand me a lifeline!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13366
   Posted 8/21/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -6)   


I am so sorry to hear what happened at your appt. No, you are not expecting too much from a dr. But, the problem we have its getting harder and harder to find one that will take care of us in a profession manner. They all seem to be running scared. But, do not let this guy deter you from seeking the opinion of another dr. Many of the people on this forum has really had to search and see different pain drs till they found one that would listen. Its not uncommon at all to see 2 or more until you find the right one, sad but true. Never put up with a rude dr, remember he works for you.

I have been very fortunate compared to most on this forum in having drs that were not afraid to treat my pain. I too was undertreated by my former pain dr but it was simply due to lack of experience and education. But, this in itself is also a real problem with these pain mgt drs.

It makes you wonder why they even bothered going into this field. The patients are sick people some with multiple problems which makes us difficult to treat anyway. There is no excuse for him to walk out in the middle of the appt as he did. Your right, I would not go back there, it will not get any better as time goes on either. If possbile get on the phone with your PCP today and insist on another opinion.

You do have the right to be treated with dignity.

Moderator Chronic Pain
crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & decreased circulation in both legs. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 16 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 138
   Posted 8/21/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -6)   
straydog, (by the way, love the name!) thank you so much for your response. as i left that drs. office yesterday, i was crying and almost begging him to stay! what an idiot (me)! you r so right . he works for me. i dont have to take that kind of treatment, especially from someone im paying to help me. it also made me feel better to know that others have had this same type of problem and have had to look for drs. more than once. im just so worn down, i wanted it to work. ive been with all my other drs. for yrs. i have bi-polar, fibro chronic pain and fatigue, restless legs syndrome, hypothyroidism, among many others. you can understand why i have so many drs. and why im on so many meds. i just think that if my pain were under control, my anxiety and depression and other things would be much improved. and i could come off some of my other meds that i believe are doing more harm than good.(ex. xanax, clonopin,buspar, and temazapam). i have been a model patient with all my drs. i never take more than was prescribed, i make sure all drs. know any changes in meds.,any test results, etc. i only use 1 pharmacy to make sure there are no problems with med. interactions. i always keep follow-up appts. yesterday i felt totally hopeless and paniced. today i feel hopeful and less anxious. thank you for your support. i hope you are doing well. take care.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 8/21/2009 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Where are you located cbear? Maybe there is someone here in your region that could refer you to a good doctor. I'm in NW Ohio and have a good PM doctor and orthopedic surgeon. Sorry to here you are having so much trouble. Believe me I've had quite a few doctors that I never care to see again.
DDD, osteoarthritis, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/21/2009 3:42 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry for how you were treated. And as Susie (straydog) says it's not uncommon.

Ahhh, to be treated with dignity. To be really listened to and HEARD (the two are different). To have doctors and dentists and other health professionals who treat us like we have a shred of intelligence. No, we don't know what they know, but if we work in a good partnership that's the best relationship. Finding that seems to be getting more and more challenging.

And I know I feel SO vulnerable and even a bit helpless with some of these people. And that is so not me! It's like somehow my sprirt gets robbed because I'm so afraid of what a doctor is going to write in a chart, or how they're going to treat you or whatever.

Thank goodness for this site. You are not alone!



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 610
   Posted 8/21/2009 4:48 PM (GMT -6)   

I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you. I think most of us, if not all have had atleast one doctor that was full of themselves and refused to help us. I know I've had quite a few. I have a friend that was shot in his lower back by his gf's (now ex) ex bf, and his legs are always burning, and he get's spasms so bad that he will scream, and he went to a PM doctor here, that said all he needed was an anti-deppresant for the pain, and his GP that refered him to this PM doctor got upset and decided to take over his pain meds, and he's on ALOT cause of course being shot in the back is the worse thing that could happen to the spine. And this same PM doctor gave me issues too, but that's a long story, and I finally gave up. I found a doctor who is treating me with suboxone and I have to drive an hour and half, but it's very much worth it, cause it's the only med that I've found that helps my pain, and this doctor never makes me feel unwelcomed, or leave me upset. I've even heard of people having to see 8 plus doctors before finding one that will treat them right. Getting any pain meds that are narcotic are becoming harder and harder, doctors are being threatened by the DEA if they dont dot their I's and cross their T's, it's not just people who are doctor shopping that are causing problems, doctor's are being forced to go thru more and more laws and rules in order to prescribe anything strong.

But the good thing is that starting by jan. 1st, everything is gonna be on a computer system, so if anyone tries to abuse pain meds, they will be caught. Every doctor appointment, and med we get prescribed will be available to all doctors, so they will know right away who is and isnt abusing meds, and all the addicts will have no choice but to stop doctor shopping. Just dont put up with a doctor that treats you horrible, sometimes having to drive out of town is worth it if it means finding a great doctor.


Chronic Pain Moderator

-Stress is when you wake up screaming....and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

-What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about.

-Is it time for your medication or mine?

-Underneath it all....I'm pretty much naked.

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/21/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
   Dear CBear,
   Good evening *huggs* I am glad you stopped by. I had wondered how you were doing, I am just sorry you ran in to another captian underpants doctor. Arnt they just silly, when looking back? You could kick yourself for trying to believe in someone again, then you kick yourself cuz your worried your reactions wernt normal. Well lemme tell ya.  If anyone of us were there we would have given that man the whats what!
     I ran into a fellow , not quite 2yrs ago. Same type of cenario. Literally. But get this! This guy, didnt even think I need to be there! "just a pulled muscle". No kidding. To me. And! Apparently while reading an Xray from waaaaay back when I had my youngest daughter!
     I think we are all entintled to "basic Human Rights". The doctor you saw, you do not need to see again. In fact, I would be a little worried ( and anxious) if you were to see him again. It is apparent he cannot do his job from a clinical stand point *tisk tisk* and I truly believe having a caring team that communicates with one another is 1/2 the pain. right there. You pay and pay dearly! So that you may have some quality to life. Did he really think you were gonna pay him to sit on his #2 for 4weeks? What a joke! mad   Lemme guess he thinks he is "special" and his #2 doesnt stink? Uggh!
     I am so sorry you have to go through the tedious and time consuming task of finding another specialist. You didnt need that right now! Hang in there!!!
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 326
   Posted 8/22/2009 7:23 PM (GMT -6)   
hi cbear,
I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Trying to find a good doctor has to be one of the most infuriating things I have ever done in my life. The best success that I've had has been taking recommendations from friends for new doctors. Most often that's been the trick for me.
I can't say that there's any proven method that works best when finding one. If you have a PCP that you trust/like, that's another person that you might want to solicit an opinion from. Not only do you need someone that is knowledgeable in their field, you also need someone that you can communicate with. That's a critical point in most dr/patient relationships.
Take heart, there are doctors out there that still do care about and treat their patients. They're not terribly common, but they do exist. And like the others have said, remember that you are paying them to do you a service. And providing service includes treating your pain along with the condition. If the body is spending all it's energy fighting pain, then it doesn't have anything left to give to improving or maintaining the condition.
I wish you the best of luck on being able to find a doctor that works for, and with, you.

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3602
   Posted 8/22/2009 9:37 PM (GMT -6)   

You said:( "he even agreed that he was probably undertreating my pain, but he wasnt willing to increase my pain meds for at least 4 more weeks. thats an eternity when youre in severe pain") That is unconscionable ! That Doctor should not be practicing medicine, if he can admit that he is undertreating you and yet will not do anything about it! Fire him now and find someone else that is willing to do their job. Yes there are some compassionate Doctors out there, that actually treat their patients with diginity and respect! I think my Pain Doctor is tops, he actually treats the whole person! I think he might be something rare to hear about so many other Pain Specialist!
cbear I do hope you can find someone that will adequately treat your pain! I wsh you only the best!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV

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