Koffee Klatch for Monday!

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Chutz
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 8/23/2009 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   
How do you cool off when you're upset? Hey, we all get angry or ticked off some times. Maybe the kids left muddy forgot to take off their muddy shoes before they walked through the house. Or your significant other was more than an hour late and didn't call. shocked Did your neighbor 'accidentally' run over your mailbox and just stuck it back in the hole and tried to blame someone else??? Or may 'someone' left the seat up.....again! turn

Whatever upsets you, how do you handle the anger? I most often keep quiet, very quiet and just go about my business after we've established we disagree on something. Then the cleaning starts...lol It's very rare when hubby and I have a disagreement but if I get irked I clean. I have no idea why but it is very good at burning off that adrenaline. Most often my pain level shoots up to and that only adds to my anger, and this time it's at myself for being so stupid to 'do it again'...lol

Then after I cool off I'm always the one who makes the first move to break the silence. I hate discord and even though I'm not admitting defeat I won't go to bed with anger between us.

How you you handle anger and cool off?
Chutzie smilewinkgrin
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/24/2009 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   
 
How do you cool off when you're upset?
 
Dear Chutz!
     I clean. smilewinkgrin
 
*huggs*
dani
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/25/2009 12:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Dani & Chutz,
Will you please come to my house next time you get angry???? :-)

PaLady

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 8/25/2009 4:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I wrote a long post yesterday and deleted it all, but I guess in the end I also do stuff to keep busy and to myself, I sometimes clean, or mw the grass on the rider mower, I used to like to go out into the garage and work on sculpture pieces! But bottom line when I get angery or upset I get quiet and just want to be left alone.

Or I will come here to the forum after a while and vent my frustrations and feelings here to all of you, And then Thank- You all for listening and being here for me!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


edt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 8/25/2009 6:28 AM (GMT -7)   

When I get angry, I walk away until I can gather my thoughts..in my life I have found that words can crush your heart beyond repair!  Once I have it together then I clear the air.  I cannot walk around with unresolved issues literally makes my stomach stay in knots. 

Its enough having to deal with CP everyday having emotional issues just adds to the level of pain! shakehead

XXOO
Patti


White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 8/25/2009 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Patti

I can relate to that perfectly! My wife used to always want to discuss some important issue late in the evening just before bedtime, and usually the discussion would get heated and we would always endup going around in circles and never resolve anything ( that is why I wanted both of us to go to marriage counseling because we could not communicate anymore, but she would not go) anyway when we would go to bed she would go right to sleep and be snoring away and I would lay there wide awake just about all night, ( as you say tied up in knots) because of the unresolved discussion! Finally I would not discuss any thing important after 8 or 9 PM! CP is enough to deal with especially at night, because it always seems worse at night!

White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--Degenerative Disc (affecting mostly the thorasic disc but all levels involved), C6/7 laminectomy/diskectomy& fusion, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/25/2009 11:16 AM (GMT -7)   
You know, in thinking about this I'm really having a hard time figuring out what I do anymore. I used to talk to a friend to vent, get it out of my system, and then move on (the friend would understand it wasn't directed at them!). That was before CP. Now, with few people left in my life but family, I sometimes just go lie down on my bed and cry. I think that's because so much of what's happening I feel so helpless to stop. And I'm exhausted from being angry with doctors and dentists and former employers and such (for me, that's where most of my anger comes from). Sometimes I leave my cousin a voice mail that I usually regret (again not directed at her, but way too long of a vent! LOL).

If I have a bit of energy in me, I may put on my walking shoes and walk down to the lake. I'm trying to do that again, but it's hard because it's not a level road, and the beach is full of rocks (not a sandy beach at all) and too difficult to walk anymore the way I used to love to.

I'm rambling.

I guess I come here a lot and ramble or vent!!! One look at my house will tell you I DON'T clean when I'm angry or sad or anything!!!! LOL

PaLady

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 8/25/2009 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I "used" to clean, too, as an outlet for anger, frustration, stress, etc. Got that from my mom.

Now - with all my health stuff - I'm with PaLady - I was going to say that, lately, any frustration/anger/etc causes the tears to start flowing.

That being said, it takes a lot to make my angry, just because I don't have the energy to sweat the small stuff. So I have to choose my battles...

And - with 7 males in this house - the seat is ALWAYS up around here!! What drives me nuts...without trying to give TMI - is the inability to "aim" it into the bowl. Let's just say that I clean the bathrooms in my house about 2x a day.... The joys of boys....

Tina
Pain Issues: Neck/back pain; migraines; carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain, nerve pain in hands, arms, feet; I also have POTS/dysautonomia; CFS/Fibromyalgia; Severe Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Addison's Disease; Central Sleep Apnea; etc etc

Meds: MS Contin (480mg daily); MSIR (15mg/6x day); Soma (3x day); Atenolol; Midodrine; Phenergan; Effexor and on the list goes...

Future Plans: Intrathecal Pain Pump; already completed trial; awaiting my decision for implantation


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 8/25/2009 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Mom,
Sounds like you need "one" all to yourself, if you get my drift! LOL

And like you, I pick my battles carefully. I don't have the energy for anger, usually it's more frustration. Posting here is a great way to relieve that!

PaLady
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