No one truly understands CP unless they live it! I have heard over the years after one of my friends or family has an injury, surgery or procedure that has caused a temporary pain situation....HOW DO YOU DO IT day in and day out? My answer is you just do it, some days are worse then others!
As far as your friends meeting at the Bar! I understand so much how you feel!!!!! I was not a big drinker but I sure enjoyed a Martini, Margarita or Amaretta occasionally....when I worked we had Happy Hour's once a month. My husband has a Harley and a group of people that he rides with (I can't join in on this either) they make frequent stops along road trips at the BAR (yeah REALLY). We go to Weddings, BBQ's, open Houses, Birthday Parties and ALWAYS there is liquor. I stand around with a bottle of water, at first I felt like the outcast (stupid) all because I couldn't have a drink? Its interesting to be an observer and see grown people get louder and louder as they drink more and more! I don't make an issue of not being able to drink, after watching others I'm kind of grateful that I can't lol.
Your friends don't understand because they can't understand! I have found even with my own husband their indifference is usually because they don't know how to help or feel frustrated because they can't fix you, so they appear cold and uncaring. Maybe invite them to your house and have a heart to heart! Let them hear your frustration and sadness over your situation and invite them to offer some advice!!! Maybe this approach will make them think!!
Its sad that we have to deal with so many changes in all aspects of our lives because of CP! I've lived it for 10 years and it doesn't really get easier but focus on getting through the day second by second, minute by minute..
We are here for you!! ((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))
People ask me how I'm doing, I say this is a "good" day, or a "bad day" but I never say "fine." Or I joke a bit. When they ask "what'd you do this weekend." I respond with a grin "well, I made it to the couch." I know that let's them off the hook but they've just shown me consideration too. I just try not to dwell for more than 30 seconds on my condition in any given conversation. Lately, it's "how ya doin?" and I respond "the shot's wearing off, time for another" or "I'm holding off getting another epidural because I'm growing breasts.
One thing I've learned after 3 years is that only you know how to manage your pain with the tools you are given. It's all about coping. How can you better cope with your situation? Get rid of things in your life that you cope with now. Exampe, I rehabbed hard for 15 months, until I realized I get more motivation and relief from inactivity, so I quit my exercises--I wasn't getting any better anyhow--one less thing. Activity INCREAES my pain. If I want to have a drink or two, I do by taking less meds. Yeah, some say you shouldn't cut pills or mix with drinks but hey it works for me, and I'm in charge of me. It helps me cope.
I've got a 2 month supply of cymbalta. The first dose made me so ill I couldn't function, so there it sits in my drawer. As far as I'm concerned that would be just one more thing to cope with - getting on or off that pill. There are entire forums devoted to Cybalta addiction and side effects. Do your research before getting hooked.
Give yourself a break - you can do everything friends, family, doctors etc. ask of you. They will never know what it's like.
This subject has been tossed around this forum many, many times. No one except people that have CP can truly understand pain. Expecting someone else to understand just seems to be one of those things not possible. You can supply them with all the info available and they still are not going to get it. Thats why I do not expect anyone to understand me or my life. If you saw me on the street you would never guess that I have a pain pump inplanted due to CP. If you saw me on the street you would really think I was ok. You have to remember people tend to judge the book by its cover. In your situation you look physically fit thats all people see. I offer up very little info anymore about my problems anymore either.
White Beard was right on the target about isolating yourself. That is so, so, so easy to do. I am very guilty of that. If you feel like going out with with your friends, then by all means do it. If you would rather not go out somewhere, suggest they come to you. One thing about CP is you will find out who your real friends are and who are nothing more than aquaintenances in your life. I am no longer able to drink alcohol but I do go out with others that are having a drink. I have gone to many pool parties and even thrown some pool parties of my own. I always had myself a big mug of iced tea or if I am out a glass of water & lime can also look like a drink. Try not to be too hard on your friends, you really need them more than you realize. I can tell you first hand if you start declining all invites you will be deleted from the call list.
The sad part is CP just has a way of screwing many things up in our life. I don't know maybe that part of the game. We just seem to have to find ways to stay ahead of the game at times.
I hear what you say.At this point in life (55yrs old) I really have no friends except a buddy I met in 4th grade who now suffers from the ravages of MS.He is the only one besides my wife, who herself suffers from hemochromatisis which causes damage in large marrow joints and liver as a result of long term iron buildup I can talk to.That shows the only people that understand CP are those who suffer from it.Like you I am rather fit and work out regularly and often push myself beyond what normal people 1/2 my age can do.I work a Union construction job and other tradesman are constantly yelling at me for grunting and outright screaming on the job as I cope with the pain.When I stop for break or lunch they look at me as if I were a drug addict because I have to take a perc or two during the day.I recently was arrested by local sheriffs for DWAI drugs because I could not pass a field sobriety test.So now just to add insult to injury I have to spend thousands of dollars do exhonerate myself in district court.My neck sticks like a turtles head out from it's shell and I am markedly hunched over.I cannot stand on one foot because of neck,back,groin,and foot problems and when I look up I see beebops all over from C-6 nerve damage.They couldn't care less.Repetitive motion and various spills and falls at work along with 3 rollover car accidents over 35 years has taken a big toll on my body.My psycho now tells me I am bi-polar but who the heck knows.It could be the ups and downs of dealing with this pain stuff that shifts my mood so much.In short,although you may feel alone I assure you that you are not,we just suffer in silence most of the time. Here's the whole list of my problems from the head down: C-6 permanent nerve damage and degenerative changes,partial tears in both rotator cuffs with bursitis and calcification and degenerative changes,nerve damage and CT in Rt wrist along with calcium deposits from old fractures of 4th and 5th metacarpuls,degenerative changes in L wrist include sclerotic and hypertonic changes and ossific densities related to old avulsion fractures,degenerative changes at L2-3,L3-4 and L5-S1 along with thoacolumbar dextroscoliosis.Diverticulitis in ascending,traverse and descending colon,buildup of scar tissue in rt groin as result of hernia repair is painful as well.Partial tear of ACL in rt knee,huge painful bunion on rt foot big toe.
Other than that I feel pretty good