should I feel guitly?

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

hydrozen
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/9/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Four years ago, at age 23, I woke up with a weird feeling in the left side right under my rib cage. At the time I was describing as a feeling that air was stuck there or something. It's was not exactly pain yet felt extremely, extremely uncomfortable. After waiting 2-3 days, I went to the emergency. They did not see anything wrong. Then started my journey in Quebec's health care system trying to figure out what was causing me this major incomfort.

I could never have imagined that four years down the road I would still be in the same situation. I did a lot of tests and up to now they don't find anything wrong in that area. The current official diagnostic is that I suffer from psycho-sommatic pain and that I should undergo psychotheraphy... which I started doing anyway because the pain is making me very depressed as it affects every sphere of my existence. It's there 24/7 and changes intensity at an extremely slow pace (weeks/months)... It's so real to me, it still blows my mind to think that they can't observe anything unusual.... I would give anything for things to go back to the way they were before this started, anything. My life has been a nightmare ever since this whole thing started and it feels like no one really understands what I'm going through.

Anyway, my familly, although supportive, are on my case because


Just looking for an honest outside opinion... thanks for reading this..

(Please read forum rules before posting. )
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

2. No discussion of medical marijuana use.

Post Edited By Moderator (Chutz) : 9/9/2009 3:52:32 PM (GMT-6)


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/9/2009 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Hydrozen,

And welcome to the Chronic Pain forum. This is a place where we offer support and our personal experiences for legal treatment of our pain. I do understand what you were asking about but if that is how you prefer to treat your pain I would suggest a different forum.

If you would like ideas from others here on how we deal with pain then we would be more than glad to help you...in fact I think you'll be surprised how many people will welcome you and take you in. Ya, I know I sound like a mom, but that's what I am anyway...lol ...so if you want some thoughts on how to deal with the pain you live with I do have a few ideas...

I live with all over body pain 24/7. It never goes away! And there are a whole lot of other people here who are in the same situation. Some are older than you...like WAY older... shocked and some are even younger than you are but we all are on the same playing field when it comes to dealing with miserable pain. So what should you do??? Well, the tough love in me says to look yourself in the mirror, right now!..go ahead, I'll wait for you. smilewinkgrin <humming to self>..hmmm, hmmm, dowap-a-do...
So, back already? What did you see? Did you like it? Are you proud of the person you've become? Most of us are but we have to answer that question for ourselves. My guess would be you don't like where you are in you life right now and you want life to be different and definitely better. You can have it if you want it! Ya know that? smhair I didn't say it would be easy but it will be the best thing you can do for yourself and will make you love that person in the mirror even more.

First, I think you should get another opinion about your pain. The doctors could very likely be correct, but if it were me I'd sure want to find out if it's not something else. If it is psychosomatic then you are doing the right thing by seeking counseling. Pain can cause horrid depression...why wouldn't it? Ask anyone you know who they'd feel if they had felt this kind of pain. But a second opinion would be a smart thing to do.

I'm not totally familiar with the Canadian health care system but I hear it can be very slow. But IMHO you really do need to see if it's not something physical causing it. Is it still in that same area of the rib cage? Is it stabbing or dull? Are any other areas involved? Have they offered you anything to treat the pain while you are trying to get this figured out? Can you get a referral to a specialist if you haven't already? We would love to help you and we do have a lot of Canadian members who can give you more advice on your system.

hydrozen.. Have you been honest with the doctors about any recreational self-medication? That's a question you don't have to answer here....but I firmly believe you would be better off letting the doctors prescribe medication for whatever is going on instead of how you're living now. Mixing that with anything else you might take can be dangerous or deadly.

Please keep in touch...and feel free to email me if you want. I really DO care about you!
Chutzie
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


hydrozen
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/9/2009 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chutzie,

I still continue to see doctors to this day to try to find the answer. I just recently got a family doctor to take my case and so I'll ask her to think outside of the box a little and see which tests I could maybe redo to absolutely make sure that we did not overlook a detail. I still very much feel like the answer is right there under our nose.

I have not been impress with the psychotherapy up to now. I am supposed to identify the emotions that I am feeling when the pain gets more intense in order to explain the pain but I think they've got it all upside down. I'm depress because I am suffering, not the other way around. I will still give it a chance but I have a hard time swallowing that pill. Plus, it never really gets more intense all of a suddent.

The pain/incomfort is always pretty much in the same area as I described.... I feel it all the way down to my left hip... feels like a weird pressure stuck in there... and it pretty much never leaves.... and its more disturbing when I'm laying down or sitting down (and I'm a programmer so I'm sitting down a lot... hence I have a lot of problems concentrating on my work).

As for the recreational self-medication, I've always been very upfront about it to all the specialists I've seen. None gave me a speech about it although I totally understand why my mom would. I don't remember any of them asking me to stop.

So how are you able to function with your pain?

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/9/2009 10:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and so glad you posted!!

about your next to last comment...you said none of your specialists asked you to stop but you understand why your mom would. OK, any idea why the doc's didn't ask? Maybe they thought you would not do it, or they might offend you or it would be useless. Who knows? I'm probably around the age of your mother and you may find this hard to believe but I care that you are taking 'stuff'' that's not good for you. Has your mom asked you to stop? Has she said those words? If not then this 'mom' will....Would you please stop? Partly for me, but mostly for you, hydrozen. You see, I lost my oldest son several years ago and it still hurts and I cry talking about it. I don't want your family to lose you nor do I want anything to happen to you. You came here for help, I threw some pretty hard stuff at you and you took it well. I probably would have turned and left if someone did that to me, but you are a better person than I am. It tells me you are a worth saving and helping. That you are someone who would love to have his life back and I believe you are willing to work at getting it! How about let's work on it together? (extending hand)

How do I function? First I have a wonderful doctor who believes in quality of life and believes that his patients are intelligent human beings. I have fibromyalgia which is the constant pain thing in my muscles. I also have arthritis in my spine and one disk that collapsed and is pinching the nerves that run down my legs. I live on insulin injections, pills to keep my gut under control, antidepressants for PTSD and on and on. For most of my life I was healthy and active and I have decided to refuse to give up! If I had a doctor who wouldn't work with me then all bets would be off but.... he believes in quality of life and to help control pain within reason. He's not a pill pusher but will use medication if it's the only thing that will help. He is compassionate. I feel a great doc has to have some compassion to treat chronic pain well.

Each day I take 80mg of oxycontin plus 4 percocets as needed. I've been taking this medication for several years which is why my dosage is up a bit. If my hubby were prescribed and took just one of the percocets he wouldn't be able to drive and would drift off to sleep. But over time the body builds up resistance to medications and it takes more. Yes, I do get times when I get tired and sleepy and have to be very aware of those times. I finally asked my doctor about it since I was worried about driving. He prescribed a medication called Provigil which works wonderfully for me. It helps fight the sleepiness and because of it I can safely drive and function. If I do feel groggy I won't drive but that's rare. And the big question...does all of this medication keep me pain free??? Nope! But it lowers the pain to a tolerable level. My pain goes from a 7-9 down to a 3-4 on a scale that ranges from 1-10. I'd say that's pretty good. If you have chronic pain it's likely you will always have some pain but a good doctor will be able to manage it with proper medication and/or therapy so you can live a great and useful life.

Strange thing also...my hubby is a programmer! He's been at it for over 30 years ... was programming in the days of tubes and punch cards...lol But currently he's doing intranet programming for internal systems at a government agency. He loves what he does which is partly maintaining systems and also keeping up with new languages and systems. He loves to learn. He also sits at a desk all day so what does he do when he comes home at night??? I get a kiss, he takes off his coat and turns on 3 or 4 computers in his office....lol What kind of programming do you do? Are you the proverbial code pig? ...lol Not that many programmers care for punching code but ya gotta love it to do it, IMHO.

OK, it's late here and even later where you are. I live about 90 minutes SW of Seattle, Washington. But even tho we're not in Canada we're still hockey fans. GO Penguins!! Oh, might not be your favorite club, eh? Did you love the Nordiques when they were there? I love watching Sakic play...he's awesome! But unfortunately he's retired now. Sounds like he was a great man and still is through charity work.

Off to sleep for me, friend! Keep in touch...
Chutzie
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


painsnbody
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 9/10/2009 7:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Did you ever have a MRI on your spine? Also, did the pain start at rib level and then spread to hib level over those years? Do you notice any type of pain in the leg or foot on the same side?   I have DDD and I have the same type of problem. I don't remember which level causes the pain but there are nerve endings that are linked to Sciatica nerve which causes my pain.
If they never gave you a MRI of your spine I would see a spine doc can order one for you.
In my case when they never find anything in the area of concern it's spine and nerve related.
 
 
 

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/10/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Great questions, painsnbody! I agree that an MRI might help find the cause. I too have pain from pinched nerves at the spine. Mine are at the L5/S1 area which is where the nerves begin that go down my legs. When those get pinched I get shooting pains down both legs. So just because you have pain in one area doesn't mean the cause is right there...it can be a long way away. Gall bladder pain hihts you between the shoulder blades...and also pain in that area can be from angina....and on and on...

BTW, Nice to meet you painsnbody! I don't think we've met yet. Hope you are enjoying the forum and are getting some support and answers for you pain. Sometimes just being with people who understand makes the difference that we're looking for. Because you understand my pain makes me more relaxed and I don't feel so alone.

Hugs,
Chutzie
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


painsnbody
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 30
   Posted 9/11/2009 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks chutz! I had my last back surgery last December on the L5 S1. It was the second surgery in a year I had on that level. I'm still not out of the woods since I continue to have pain in my right leg and around my tail bone. With our problems I'm sure we have a lot in common.
If you every want to talk and share ways to help deal with our condition just let me know.

hydrozen
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/11/2009 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
painsnbody: Yeah I've had an MRI.. other than the fact that I have a good scoliosis making my back a little crooked, they did not see anything that could explain my symptoms.

thecrazycatlady: I'm assuming your symptoms were getting worse after you ate?

Chutz: I will try to stop, to at least see if it seems to change my symptoms. I think it will be very difficult but we'll see how it goes. In my case though, none of the meds that they gave me have been able to lessen my symptoms. None except anti-depressants which i took for about 6 months 3 years ago... after a little while the incomfort went down to a more endurable level and I was able to get a job and go back to work. I could never really be sure if it was just coincidence or not though.... But for the past year things are back like they were before so I started taking anti-depressants again a little over a week ago. I'm hoping they will help me again but up to now they just make me feel very numb... which I don't remember experiencing 3 years ago.

As for work, I do web development in an interactive agency in Montreal... but things are pretty tough lately. I love what I do, but I'm having a hard time doing it properly because of the pain, and it makes me very worried about the future. I'm a very hard worker and was always very good at school... and so seeing myself not being able to perform anywhere near the level that I should be at makes me very sad. I have this handicap and can't really put a name on it, very frustrating. And since I'm single (and i don't see how that will change anytime soon), work has a special importance for me and my self-esteem. I'm on vacation right now so I try not to think about it too much but I really wish the pain will become more tolerable before I go back to work... I could really use a couple of better days!

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/11/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there dear friend! Because you have at least one person out here who sincerely cares about you...and that would be me! ;-) I do think by getting rid of the one 'habit' that your body would then have a chance to let the medication do it's job. When you mix them with other things it can totally mess things up where the meds won't work at all.

Another thing I learned the hard way...one particular antidepressant won't work for a lifetime. Your body gets used to it and then it slowly seems to stop working. It's like that for most people. I thought it was just me and I was about to go off my trolley...lol..but when I told doc what was going on he switched me to a different one and I was fine....for about 2 years, then I switched again. He told me it was very common for antidepressants to work like that. I'm currently on Effexor and I do well on a very tiny dose. Normal doses send me off to sleepy, goofy land. That's no way to live either!

I would go back to your doc and lay it out on the table. If he's one you told about the 'other stuff' then tell him what you told me...that you've decided to try and quit. He will be way more eager to work with you, I'm sure. I would guess most doctors just brush off patients who are using....you know. Then ask about an antidepressant. Actually, your psych may be able to prescribe that for you. Not sure in Canada tho. One thing about antidepressants and pain...it sounds crazy that they would do any good. But once I did some reading and talked to doc about it it made sense. The medication increases the hormones in the brain that have to do with pleasure/mood and pain signals. So, improve the mood and block pain signals....that sure sounds like a good deal to me. That's one of the reasons I'm on them plus I deal with PTSD.

While you're on vacation give yourself some time to realize that there IS hope now. There are people who not only understand you but who are willing to help. Decide you will have a good weekend. Maybe go for a short walk or drive to the nearest park. Do you have a camera? Take some pictures and email them to me. All you have to do it click the little envelope under my name over there <--- and you can email. Problem is I'm headed on vacation in the morning (Saturday) but I'll take some pictures for you and send them back. We're headed to Yellowstone Park so will get you some bison and elk pictures. They are absolutely amazing. Hubby just splurged on a new camera so I'll borrow his and get some great resolution so you can blow them up to any size you like. We'll be back on the 28th but when we get to a spot that has Wi-Fi I'll get online and see if you're here...that way you can tell me how great you're doing...OK? Remember that tiny steps are the BIG ones. ;-)

Please take care and believe in yourself...I believe in you!
Chutz
Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 9/11/2009 2:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hydrozen,
I just want you to know you have more than one person here who cares about you. Chutz has given you some superb advice. I can't do any better but to reinforce what she's said, especially about anti-depressants. It's very common for people to need a dosage adjustment, and to even need to change to a different one. VERY common. But the fact one helped you in the past is a good sign. And there are a lot for your doctor to choose from. Sometimes it is better to work with a psychiatrist, as they are the specialists when it comes to anti-depressants, but if you PM doctor is doing well by you that's fine.

It is very true that other substances can interfere with prescription and OTC medications. I'm not going to go into it, as I didn't see your original post before it was edited, nor it is ok to discuss those things here. I just want to encourage your current direction. It's a much healthier one.

I can't recall if you were seeing a psychotherapist (psychologist, clinical social worker, counselor, etc.) but if not that can be an excellent resource to help you deal with the losses and adjustments we all face from chronic pain.

Keep moving in a healthy direction! And take Chutz up on her support. She's great!

PaLady
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 7:27 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,493 posts in 301,027 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151186 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, debbixij.
284 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
John_TX, Carioke65, Huddie, Buzzlymeyear, poohcheez, trumpet123, afiya4health


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer