Mind active, wants to go, body doesn't

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BigLucy
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 413
   Posted 9/23/2009 6:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Uggggggggggh! Bored! Recouping from surgery and sitting here day after day b/c of physical limitations--not too much b/c of the surgery, but the procedure triggered my ulcerative colitis, which triggered chronic fatigue and feeling weak, in lots of pain, etc. Thing is, my mind is active and wants to go, go, go do something; starting to get depressed b/c this is also reminding me all the days I have missed (past) getting out and living life; sitting here thinking about all the people out in the world traveling, socializing, etc. There's so much T.V., reading, organizing the home (if able), interneting one can do before it just feels mundane and boring. I take the dogs out to the local park when able, but there's not as much satisfaction in it for me as for the dogs--at least they seem content. To anyone in a similar situation how do you get through the endless days of sameness?

One more thing, the worst is when I wake up in the morning and I suddenly realized I have a whole day ahead of me with nothing interesting, new, or exciting to do and I feel a sense of emptiness that's almost unbearable.

Post Edited (BigLucy) : 9/23/2009 7:12:16 PM (GMT-6)


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 9/23/2009 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Lucy,
I feel like I could have written your post, minus the part about the recent surgery (which I'm not minimizing). It sounds like you'll be back to work once you heal - have I got that right? If so, that's something to focus on, although work itself doesn't replace life.

For me, I haven't yet found an answer to getting through the endless days of sameness, or the lack of anything exciting to look forward to. I am so tired of nothing but the things that "have to" get done like forms and applications and doctor appointments, etc, etc, etc, and nothing else in my life. Actually would feel too tired to do anything else, irrespective of the CP.

I wish I could help more. You know, it's one thing to fill time with distractions and such, but that reaches its limits - athough I think I try to deny that. I was just thinking today as I got an e-mail from a former student who's about 50 now and taking a new job in New Mexico. She's all excited, moving to a new place, starting another level of her career...and then I look at my life. Awe, shucks, I'm gonna depress you more!

Just know you're not alone!

Hugs,

PaLady

BigLucy
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 413
   Posted 9/23/2009 10:04 PM (GMT -7)   
No PaLady, you cannot depress me any more, so don't worry. I know I have general malaise, not clinical depression b/c I don't have any of the major sx's (you know what I mean, anhedonia is always something I keep an eye on-that's when I know I'm in trouble). But sadness is universal and thats what I have. Yeah, I have work to look forward to in a month and a half, but when I do go back to work, that's all I have energy to do and don't think much about things I'm missing out on b/c just trying to get through that. Sitting here day after day has given me too much time to think about what my life has become: work, rest, physical maintenance, getting by........but really, what's it all about? I have a feeling I'm not the only one who wonders what their life is all about, maybe I should start reading all Schopenhauer (dark and depressing sometimes gives me the empathy I need) and I want to be reading this at a side walk cafe in Paris eating pastry.

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 9/23/2009 10:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I'd be sitting right next to you in Paris, I have dreamed about France...
Your post reminds me of me and I've not had surgery...
I'll wish a speedy recovery for you...
Lots and lots of soft hugz...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BigLucy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc, Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's and Ocular Migraines

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


bsjaguar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 9/24/2009 4:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Can I go to Paris too??? I'm right along with all of you. Since I've stopped working my days are the same old same old every day. Money is tight so shopping or wasting gas to go somewhere is out. Your not alone Lucy but keep up your spirits and hopefully things will get better.
---Jag---
 
DDD, osteoarthritis, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3


aliveso4
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 9/24/2009 6:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello big lucy: dl here, Your sorry is mine also over the last 9 years now. Neck, leg thigh, back, corot artery and a back stikmulator. Walking is good, just do not over do it. I set out a path in my house until I could get outside without falling on omy arse. It takes your mind off of stuff and lets you smell different things rather tahn your old musty house. It is a big mind over matter thing. Least wise for me it worked. Day dreaming is very good. Just donot depend on that too much or you will get depressed out the kazoo. Find internet games, puzzles, crosswrds and such to give you somethjing diffgernt to chalange yourself with. It does work until you get to the point and it will come, where yu can do things that you used to do. I am big on hunting and fishing and it took me 2 yeas fefore I could fire a rifle again after neck surgery. But I found something to take the place of a rifle and began hunting with a crossbow. I am disabled from my surgeries and am able to hunt witha crossbow and this does no longer bother me in my neck and back. Think up things you can do and do them all...Cooking , just dont overdo it or it will pack on pounds, I know this for sure. I still cook like crazy, but now I donot eat what I cook, I just give it to my neighbors and friends. Something to do to help uyour minddddd. Think about it....Good Luck to you..dlt...Texas
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