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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/30/2009 1:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi all and hope you are enjoying the last day of September. Since we have been talking about traveling and/or vacations a bit how do you feel about staying with friends and/or relatives? Are you comfortable doing that? Would you prefer your 'own space' in a motel instead? And if you are going to be a guest in someone else's home, what's the one thing a house guest should always do??

I am OK staying with one cousin but other than that I would prefer my own space...preferably my own trailer but have done the motel thing for a quick stop place to sleep on clean sheets while traveling to a destination. But if I do stay I think there are a couple of things a house guess should do. (OK, I'm already breaking the rules by listing more than one thing...lol)

First off, give them plenty of notice and ask IF it's OK if you come. We had relatives who would announce when THEY were showing up. Hmmmfff Also, I'm a firm believer in helping out in the kitchen, especially with dishes and/or cooking. Make sure you make your bed and keep your room very tidy and leave a simple hostess gift for the ones who are so kind as to open their home to you.

OK, it's your turn. How are you about staying with friends or relatives and what should a house guest always do?


Play fair. Don't hit people. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
~Robert Fulghum

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/30/2009 1:30 AM (GMT -6)   
How are you about staying with friends or relatives and what should a house guest always do?
   Dear Chutz,
       I like to stay at bed and breakfeasts on the rare occasion that I travel. But, Since I got married... my husbands family comes in "waves". Usually November, December & beginng of January. There isnt any breaks in visits, just lack of bed space :-)  They are all from Florida. I think they like the snow. Then I get the "small cells" of family for 2 to 3 weeks during spring. 2 to 3 weeks during Balloon Fiesta in the Fall. They never stay at motels, and I don't mind. It is a really nice feeling having a full house. And I really like feeling loved and needed.
      What I think is awesome, is during suppers, they always ask to help even thou I always say no. When it is time for linens they always change their own & seperate in the right baskets. I never have to ask for the trash to be taken out. They go to the fridge and just take the grocers list when ever they go out. They always help with evening story time. Its a really wonderful feeling having his family here! I even like it when they bicker (and they do it alot) smilewinkgrin
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 9/30/2009 2:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't travel much these days, except down to my one cousin who's a couple of hours away (and I haven't been down there in over a year). I don't mind staying with her too much, as it's just her and it's usually just a short visit. Probably from trips I've taken in the past, I would prefer my own space in a hotel if I can afford it. Back in 1994 when I did a lot of traveling (the year after my mother died, and I had a bit of money and was exhausted from all the caregiving) I did travel and spent sometime in hotels, and some staying with friends. With the one couple in San Francisco I enjoyed staying with them. We had a lot in common. But I also stayed with someone I graduated high school with and his wife, and although I like them a lot I had to sleep on a pull out couch which was torture - and that was when my back was good!! Sometimes I just feel too obligated when I stay with people, as I don't have room for guests and can't reciprocate, so I end up taking them to dinner or something and if we're in a city I usual blow my budget!

One thing I think you should do is contribute - in whatever ways are most appropriate to the situation (see how I weazled out of this one, Chutzie! LOL). A lot of ways have been mentioned. I think ASKING people well in advance is critical, and listening for whether it's really "ok" for you to come, or whether they are hemming and hawing and say yes simply out of guilt. I do find in addition to helping with basics like cooking or cleaning up, making the bed, cleaning up after yourself in the bathroom, etc. (ok, way more than one way to contribute! LOL) buying your own food - or contributing along those lines and not expecting to be fed, entertained, etc. is important. Sometimes others are on a budget, or they're working, and just because I'm on vacation doesn't mean they are!

A bit too much rambling!!!

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