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LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 10/28/2009 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   
I had just typed this topic out and lost it now I have to type it all out again I hope I can stomach it again.
 
I have worked for Cinram for over two years.  Only about 30 of us made it through all the layoffs throughout the last year.  We do have a few hundred temp workers for the lines but only 30 permanent employees at one of the building.  We have 4 buildings.  I'm putting this in to show how few there are of us and how close we can all get.  So close that when one of us have a birthday someone brings a cake and collects some pocket money.  We even go out to dinner and some of us shop together.  We know whos married and how many kids.  BBQs are normal throughout the summer.
 
All this and you STILL don't know SOMEONE!!!!  A week ago one of us was arrested. Not by the local police but at federal level.  Secret Service, FBI and TBI.  At first we thought he might of been in the hospital by the second day he missed work.  He NEVER missed work.  By the third day everyone was calling the local hospitals.  Then most of caught the news reports of a local man who was arrested.  Most of us just ignored the reports not really listening.  A few caught the name of the suspect.  Then we found out what the charges were.
 
Here goes now my stomach is starting to turn.  God I wish they provided some sort of group therapy for this kind of situation.
 
In his possession he had over 150 full length tapes of violent and brutal child rape of very small children.  They didn't say how young but they put heavely on SMALL children.  He even bragged when they were searching his house that he had been doing this for 20 - 30 yrs!  Yes that seems like him he thought he knew the answer to everything.
 
In Sept he had placed an online order for 6 more tapes.  The USPS (Post Office) has been working with Crimes against Children Unit and have been watching certain distributers.  That is how they caught him. 
 
You never know someone.  The I started getting sick and feeling physically ill.  I still can't eat.  Not about him he can be locked away and never see light of day for all I care.  I'm sick for these children.  He had over 150 tapes and more coming in the mail.  Each one of these videos had to have one to three children!  That 150 to 450 small children that has went through this for the tapes.  Thats not counting how many other videos there is out there throught out the world.  What if he has raped a child.  God forbid!!!!!!!
 
Right now I just need some support.  I can't seem to get these little children out of my mind.  I can't sit back and say "oh well its going to happen anyways"  I CAN'T!!!!
 
Someone please tell me how to put this into prespective!  Its so new but so old when it comes to this subject.  I cry for the children!
 
Laurie
Kidney Diseases and Disorders
              Moderator
 
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea

Hopefully NO MORE........


Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 10/28/2009 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
There is nothing lower in this world, than a person like this! Period!

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 10/28/2009 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   
No, you really never know who people are, but what you can do for these children is pay a little more attention when something does not quite right, in the grocery store, in the street, etc.

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 10/28/2009 10:42:42 AM (GMT-6)


Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Laurie, there is no perspective to be found in this situation. What this man did was sick, disgusting, vile, and nasty. Even if he never actually touched a child, he is just as guilty as those who did. I say that because if it weren't for 'men' like him, there would be no market for this vile material. I can imagine that if I were you, I would be feeling the same way about those innocent children. One of my biggest passions in life is children's rights and it hurts my heart to know that every day there are children who are subjected to this horrible abuse. I don't know what kind of advice I can give you. Just try to think about how the pain will now hopefully stop for some of them, now that this task force is making arrests. I am not going to say any more because I will end up violating forum rules by hopping up on a soapbox! You are going through a kind of grieving (for those children) and there is no right or wrong way to do that - you will start to feel better each day. I also think you are feeling a bit betrayed - someone you knew and worked with was not who you thought he was.

PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Laurie,
I know we can't discuss illegal activity here, so all of this may get edited, but I did want to offer you many hugs. Trauma like this fans out like the ripples in a pond when you throw in a big rock. Having worked with people for decades now, I can tell you that we all have many sides to us. We are complex creatures, far more so than we might like to believe at times like this. So things like this are part of a secret aspect of a person they can keep very well hidden. At least he has been caught, he and anyone working with him.

You know, after you all collectively grieve for the children, and many victims of crimes, you are in an industry that perhaps can do something to help with this. So maybe one way of helping is to ask law enforcement and your employer what you can do as a company to help stop this kind of crime. Perhaps there's a program already started, or there are other ways you can increase awareness, help with safety mechanisms in the industry.

But yes, it is a shock to learn these things about someone you've worked next to for all this time. It's a lesson that human nature has many sides to it. But despite all the negative aspects we tend to see in the news everyday, most people are good - or are doing their best to be.

(((((((((Laurie))))))))))

PaLady

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 10/28/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Laurie,
lots of soft hugz coming your way as this must be so shocking for you...
Hope you'll be okay...I agree with what PALady said"Most people are good"
and I have hope that these children will also recover somehow from this...
hugz
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Laurie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

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White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3609
   Posted 10/28/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Laurie
What you have experienced or come to realize is very unpleasant! There are some very unpleasant, and sick individuals out there in this world. Luckily they are far and few between, but you never know who they are.  I have talked about this before, but when I was in photography, I had to either photograph or process and print, pictures, of everything and anything that happens on the base I was stationed at! From car accidents to air craft accidents, to spouses with black eyes because they were beat up by their husband or wife, to little children with cigarette burns every where on there body! Images that are forever burned into ones mind. Things happen to people that should not happen. How do you put that into perspective???  I don't know that you do!  I guess that you just always keep that in the back of your mind and you realize that things are not aways the way they seem, and you become more sensitive and aware  of things going on in this world  even that part of the world that is close by! And when you think about it,  like you are now and it makes you shakey and queezy and scared and uneasy inside,  to think that innocent people especially children suffer because of what some wierd sick people do! You want to cry for the innocent ones and want to strike out at the guilty! Well all I can tell you is your not alone in that feeling, and it doesn't go away! There is no perspective for this type of stuff! I guess PALady said it about the best:

("It's a lesson that human nature has many sides to it. But despite all the negative aspects we tend to see in the news everyday, most people are good - or are doing their best to be.")

I think that sums it up pretty well! I guess you just try not to dwell on it, kind of like the way you treat your pain! Because in a way it is a form of pain you are feeling!  Mental anguish isn't that painful? But it also means you are thoughtfull and compassionate, and you care allot! And that is why this bothers you so much!  That is a good trait to have Laurie!!!

White Beard

 


Moderator Chronic Pain
 
I'm Retired USAF, went back to school and became an RN, and now am on full disalbility!--   DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in  Sep 2009,  C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications: Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 10/28/2009 6:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone!  I just got home from work and read all the replies.
 
I have always known that evil lurks in all walks of life.  I'm just in anguish over the children.  And yes I will pray for Glenn also.  His soul is sick but he is where he needs to be.  I alway wondered why he always preached being an athist.  Because if he believed in god he would be struck by lightning.  But enough religion that can cause the thread to be shut down.  yeah
 
PAlady you are so right I plan on asking and investigating what can be done to help.  I sat at my desk today inbetween people coming to talk to me about this ordeal. (Everyone is trying to come to grips with this at work)  You see people like Madonna and Angelina adopting children from 3rd world countries.  I wonder why they don't fund agencies to find these people who do crimes against children.
 
I am also a survivor of insest so I might be hypersenstive to this subject.  I will do something just don't know what yet.
 
But thank you all for your words of support.
 
Whitebeard and PAlady you both are so right about human nature.  We as humans can be capable of the most horrific things but then we are also known to be the most loving and giving creation. 
 
I know I will not resolve my feeling until I can find a positive outlet.  So I guess I better start googling how to help the Crimes against Children Unit.
 
Once again thanks everyone it means so much to me that you took the time to reply to such a touchy subject
 
Laurie
Kidney Diseases and Disorders
              Moderator
 
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea

Hopefully NO MORE........


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 10/28/2009 6:58 PM (GMT -7)   
 
   Dear Laurie,
 
     Good evening *warm huggs* Are you a little more relaxed this evening? I hope you are, thou I worry you are not.
 
     Have you and your co workers / friends had a chance to sit an talk about it all? Over coffee perhaps? I am sure you are all in need of someone to talk this over with. It is a deeply disturbing situation. The betrayal runs very deep for all of you. I dont want you or your friends to think that you should have "known" he was different or that you shouldnt have trusted him. They are masters of deception... these dark souls. Always so charismatic. Increadible abilities to manipulate others. Often the silent preditors go decades before being caught..... More and more about their pasts usually come to light once they are finally locked away.  I am glad he is caught. But!! I worry you may feel guilt. THAT I dont want at all. *warm huggs* 
 
     I am so sorry your heart is aching.... it will for a long time. All the "what if.." going through your mind.... Just know that you are so increadibly kind and caring! *huggs* I know, if you could, you would turn back time and remove his miserable existance from the rest of humanity. We are here thou, anytime you need. Talk about it as much as you need to until it feels better inside your heart. We all care so much for you!!!
 
*huggs*
  dani

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 


golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 10/28/2009 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Laurie, both the grief for all those abused children and the horror of working and socialising with someone you trusted must be horrendous. Big Big Hugs, golitho

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Laurie, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all the emotions of this. We were never created to have to deal with these things. I agree that there is no way to put these things into perspective. I investigated these crimes for 7 years and I can tell you that you will not forget. In one way, our minds have a way of helping us deal with it. Crying is a good way to relieve some of the emotions. I have helped people do debriefing after having to deal with difficult realities. In another way, I am glad that you are expressing your feelings as it shows you have compassion and sensitivity which will also help in the long haul. I would also be interested in knowing if it is affecting your pain level as it would not be out of the norm for that to happen. These crimes are difficult for all involved. My partner went out on a PTSD disability due to the cases we had to handle. I have been diagnosed with PTSD connected to the work I did as well as the injury I sustained. That has a direct affect on my pain and the management of it. I say this only to encourage you to talk to someone and watch for changes in your ability to handle the normal everyday issues. Blessings! 

Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 10/28/2009 10:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Laurie!

No words are coming to me about this situation...we all know what it is and how awful. But this is an opportunity for you to be the one to make the difference. Like you said ... you will be talking to the police and asking more questions. Maybe your friends there will start Block Watches in your neighborhoods which do help protect children also. The police will have some suggestions about groups that you can help or maybe donate to. If everyone figures 'someone else will do it' then no one will. If any of us think a child is in danger...please be brave and get involved. You may be wrong or you just might save a child's life.

Just a couple of words about the shock of who this person was. When I booted the ex out and word spread that we were no longer together the comments first comments were surprising. They thought he was so sweet and we were such a wonderful couple. A bunch of pig poo! It was later I found he had propositioned women all over the small community and/or had his hands where they didn't belong including young females. Not including the things he put me through. Yep, Mr. Wonderful was Mr. Evil and kept it hid from most everyone until I finally got wise and had the nerve to stand up to it. So you never do know where the next pervert will come from.

Warmest hugs to you Laurie! You're a wonderful person,
Chutzie
Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.
Richard L. Evans

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
(/|\)
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 10/29/2009 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
I love all of you!!!!  I have noticed at work that some deal with it so differently from the one person to the next.  A few co-workers are feeling ALOT of guilt.  Glenn would say things that everyone thought was outragous and thought it was his dark sense of humor.  Or that he was BS'n.  He had a way of talking above people kinda narcasistic (sp).  Well not kinda but he was.  I never heard him talk about some of the things other had but they are now feeling terrible that they didn't catch on.
 
FatherJohn you asked about the pain.  You are so right the pain is so different when dealing with such high emotion.  It hurts!  I acually had to dip into my emergency supply my doctor allows.
 
I wish all of us at work had the time to sit and vent about this situation.  Its the busy time of the year at work with Black Friday coming up that we are all working long hard hours.   Today I worked 13.5 hours and another one planned for tomorrow.  At break is the only time we have a few minutes to talk.  I so wish our company would see how this arrest has affected us all.
 
I have been doing alot of prayers.  I find myself sitting at my desk with a million things going on around me and I'm quietly praying in my mind.  If just one prayer was answered I would be able to smile.
 
It will take time to feel at ease again.  But thanks to all my friends here I think it will be easier to handle in the coming days.
 
I won't be the first or the last to say I love all of you on this site.  I have been here for almost a year now and all of you were the first ones I thought of when this happened.  Gotta go talk with my friends and family.  You all have helped me through my chaotic life from my oldest son to my crazy father.  You all have been there for me.
 
Hugs and kisses
 
Laurie
Kidney Diseases and Disorders
              Moderator
 
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea

Hopefully NO MORE........


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 10/29/2009 10:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Laurie,
I don't know if you have an EAP at your workplace (Employee Assistance Program). You may not since it's relatively small, but it would be part of your insurance benefit. Often a company contracts that out with a local mental health provider or a hospital. If so, a therapist could relatively easily come into the workplace and work with all of you as a group to help you process this. It wouldn't have to take that much time (maybe an hour or two a week) and I know it's your busy season, but you'll likely notice people (even yourself) not thinking about work, and thus being less productive. A good EAP outfit can help an employer understand there's a benefit to his/her bottom line by doing this. It's just a thought.

With your personal history, there's no wonder you are even more deeply affected as this probably triggers some PTSD (like fatherjohn mentioned), so don't be afraid to seek some counseling for yourself. You can concern yourself with what to do about it later, maybe after your busy season is over, but it would help you process your emotions and even help some with your pain.

Hugs,

PaLady

LLPLUV
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1158
   Posted 11/2/2009 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
PaLady and fatherjohn are right. this situation ha brought up some not so nice feelings.  Just to have worked with him for so long and not known. smhair
 
I will look into the EAP program.  We acually have a very very large company.  We are all over the world.  Its just temps are the main part of our staff.  I would have to say all together the company has over 10,000 cinram employees and over 500,000 temps.  We do all Warner Video releases.
 
I have worked so many hours last week a total of 65 hours.  Most of it I was in a fog and on automatic.  As far as I know I've only made one mistake.  But it was a small one.  I'm hoping with time all of us at work will come out of the shock mode.
 
Laurie
Kidney Diseases and Disorders
              Moderator
 
39 yr young female with,
Chronic Kidney Stones, PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease), Chronic Kidney Failure, Severe Hypertension, Urological RSD

Also CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and Sleep Apnea

Hopefully NO MORE........


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 11/2/2009 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Laurie,
I'll bet they contract out for EAP services - it would likely be in your personnel manual or your health insurance policy, but the easiest thing to do is ask someone in H.R., even if that means by phone (don't know if you have an H.R. at every site or a centralized one). These are the kind of situations that EAP staff are really trained to help with - like any kind of workplace trauma or issue. And if no one else is interested, you could take advantage yourself. It's usually free for a limited number of sessions, and then if more is needed they'll refer you for private counseling.

Also, they may be skilled in debriefing trauma - and this is a trauma although it might not appear that to the untrained eye - for all of you employees, but even more so for any of you with personal histories. There's nothing to be ashamed of in that.

Another great tool is journaling. Get some of your anger out safely, but get it out of your system. And maybe see if you can at least take some warm baths, or treat yourself to a couple of gentle massages.

Gosh lady, you sure have earned it!

Hugs,

PaLady
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