question about chronic pain and adopting

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flower123
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 12/15/2009 3:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Everyone. I haven't posted in some time, but I read every single day. I am so grateful to everyone here. The support that you give is AMAZING!

Okay. I want so badly to have a baby, but I'm on (high dose) pain meds. and I have severe pain and I'm scared to even ask my doctor about it. The thing is, the medicine helps me to be able to work and I can't even imagine suffering for nine months with all of this pain plus a little one in my belly. I was crying about it last night. Even if I can one day have my own, I would still want to adopt one.

But I don't know if I would even qualify to adopt. Does anyone know? I do use a cane and I am disabled but I do get around relatively well.

I usually don't post things that are this personal, but I really have no one else to ask and I hope that someone can answer.

Thank you,

Flower

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/15/2009 4:11 AM (GMT -7)   
On something like this your best bet really is to talk to someone in your area who is very familiar with adoption requirements and processes. There are really too many variables for anyone to give you a good answer. Laws and requirements vary from state to state and country to country.

Generally speaking however I think you would have a better chance at adopting an older child rather than an infant since infants require the most direct physical care, but like I already said you really need to talk to someone who is a pro in this.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 12/15/2009 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe you could get some injections done, then wean yourself off your pain meds, but you really need to talk this over with your
ob/gyn and pm doctors, it might be possible..but childbirth in itself is quite painful...but again you really should talk to a doctor..
wish I knew something about adoption, but I don't, sorry...
Others here will come along with better advise, my experience with childbirth was hard and in no ways normal, so I might not be the one to ask, unless you really want to know..(and I was not on pain meds when I got pregnant) but it was still complicated...
Hope this info helps...fingers crossed for you and good luck in what you decide to do...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Flower))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
hugz
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

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Jadensmommy
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 12/15/2009 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I got married for the first time when I was 22 and my husband and I tried to have a baby for 5 years. When nothing happened, we went to a fertility specialist, who told me I was infertile and would never be able to have my own baby. We then looked into adoption. We were not eligible to adopt due to my medical problems (at the time, I was only dealing with migraines, endometriosis pain, and DDD in my lower back). After divorcing my husband (for other reasons, not the baby thing), I eventually met and married my current husband. At the age of 32, to my surprise, I got pregnant with my son. I had to go off all pain meds which was no picnic let me tell you. But the moment I held him in my arms, it was all worth it! He is 2 now, and the center of my world!

This is just my experience. It could be different for you. Maybe being pregnant and having your own child wouldn't be as bad as you think? I don't know all of your circumstances, so please think of everything before making any decision. If you really want to adopt, there are adoption lawyers out there (probably in the yellow pages locally) that you could call and ask. They are happy to give free advice, and let you know what the prerequisites are for adoption. Also, talk to your doctor about your thoughts and fears. He/she may have some new suggestions you haven't thought of! Good luck with everything! I know what it's like to want to be a mommy really badly. Email me anytime if you need to talk hon!

Take care!

Tammy
Fibromyalgia Dx November 20, 2009

Pain issues: Pain in neck and upper/lower back, chest/ribcage pain, Degenerative joint disease in both knees, migraine headaches, very painful menstrual cramping, pelvic pain.

Meds: Neurontin 300mg.

No more pain meds for me until the PM doctor accepts me. Who knows how long that will be!


Tammy <3


Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2283
   Posted 12/15/2009 6:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Flower,
Like Jim said, the laws vary from state to state, etc. But just as a means of encouraging you, I do have a friend with CP who adopted 2 beautiful children -- a 6 mos. girl from Guatemala & a 2 yr. boy from Ukraine. I think sometimes international adoptions are easier to get to go through than U.S. adoptions, but in any case, getting a good adoptions lawyer is key.

For the adoption from Ukraine (her second child), she had to show that there was absolutely no way her son would be able to get into her medication supply. She had to get special lock boxes to secure it beyond what she had previously, but she was happy to do so. He is a beautiful little boy with special needs (she is a special needs teacher) & she would do anything at all to keep him safe & happy.

Both of her adoptions were successful & she is very happy with her new family.

Hang in there! There is at least the possibility that it can be done.

blessings,
frances

Splashdancer
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 927
   Posted 12/16/2009 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi. I was on pain medication during my last two pregnancies, although at a lower dosage than pre-pregnancy. Now, this is only my story and I am not saying it is ok for anyone else - that decision is between you and your doctor. I am only telling you so that you know of one success story. Mine were high-risk pregnancies (not just because of the pain, but other medical issues as well) and I had great doctors working with me. The risk of my chronic, severe pain was higher than the risk of the pain medications. I used other forms of pain relief also, and tapered down on the meds in the last weeks of my pregnancy. Neither of my boys (born by c-section) had any breathing difficulties, nor showed any signs of drug dependence (tremors, fussiness, etc.). They are now 16 and 11, healthy and normal. For what it's worth, I was also on an antidepressent during my pregnancies. In my case, the benefits of medication far outweighed the risks. I hesitated about writing about this, because some people have judged me for taking medication while I was pregnant. But for me and my sons, it was the best decision. Then again, I had wonderful doctors and I did alot of research. Good luck to you, whatever you decide! smile
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