Thursday Koffee Klatch~~

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 12/17/2009 1:44 AM (GMT -6)   
So today I'm going to break the rules. shocked Yep, I have a question that I would like everyone to answer honestly, even if you have to use the 'P' word. My question is...How are YOU doing? I mean how are you really doing? For many people the Christmas season is busy. Some celebrate other holidays this time of year also. No matter which you do it is likely that the activity level picks up for the next couple of weeks.

So how are you feeling? And how do you manage it?

I'm dealing with a pile of extra pain just from lots of physical movement. smhair Plus the colder weather makes it harder also. I have to remind myself to take breaks, slow down and not take on so much. I'm famous for that one. smilewinkgrin I think I also need to get more ME time. Going to have to work on that one. I've also been a bit frustrated with my young son, 31 and his wife...both whom I dearly love. But that's something that's been ongoing and I'm trying to let it go. (too long a story to go into here) Holidays are a bit sad for me any more...hard with so many family members gone. But I do keep going for the kids and grandkids. If that doesn't keep me young then it surely will keep me work out... smilewinkgrin

So, how are YOU doing? Honestly? It doesn't have to be a lengthy description but please share.

Warm hugs,
Chutzie wink
The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for. — Alexander Chalmers

(\o/)Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 3452
   Posted 12/17/2009 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Overall, I am ok.  I am still working and for that I am extremely grateful.  I love my job and my income is crucial for my family.  My husband makes a good living and is the major salary earner, but we would have to sell the house and make a major lifestyle change if I couldn't work.
I have been dragging lately.  I am not sure why.  I am doing ok, but not as well as I have been doing.  I am worried about disease progression.  I lost vision in that eye and now this fatigue.  I come home from work and I just drag.  Everything is such work.  I have cut corners on so many things.  I am doing so much less than I used to do.  It is scary and disappointing. 
I do love Christmas.  It will be a joyful occasion no matter what.  I have two sons (12, and 15 who are both great kids) that help make the season so much fun.  They are both very sweet.  They are good students and good people.  They are a blast to be around.  They can make me laugh!  They are both very unselfish and they understand MS for the most part. 
I just fine myself scared and tired.  I hate not knowing what the future holds for me. 
Gretchen  ~  diagnosed with MS July 2006
I have no lesions on my soul and so I will live with no limits.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/17/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
I am hanging in there and plodding along as usual though my desire to play Whack the Quack is returning with a vengeance. At the moment I don't know what I am more tired of. The daily pain or feeling like a lab rat.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 12/17/2009 12:07 PM (GMT -6)   
So how are you feeling? And how do you manage it?
   Dear Chutz,
      After slowly increasing my dose of tramadol over the last month and a half, physically, I am okay. They seemed worried over an interaction with another medicine I take called amitryptaline? But, so far so good. The dose is comfortable, and the side effects are mild moderate. My pain scale / comfort is at about 5 to 6, so very good improvment.
     Mentally, I am frightened. If I am not busy then my mind wonders to the steps I need to take for my health. I hear I need another lazer treatment in my right eye to remove more protien from my synthetic lense. Both eyes are apparently degenerating prematurely and at an accelerated rate, this in turn requires asperation and stirpping of cells through a differant type of procedure. The second type of procedure will need to be done regularly, when the vision loss becomes too much. I am told there is no way to stop an eye from degenerating and that even with the asperation etc, some of the "spots / screen" will be permanant. I was told that the 2nd procedure, which will be needed regularly for both eyes, will casue the left eye to need a synthetic lense / remove a cataract. The surgeons very sure the chain of events will lead to the eventuality of needing the left eyes lense needing to be removed? That a cataract is a definite eventuality?..... What to do? when to start? I know I cannot see well enough to even drive. I just dread what will eventually be a long series of events. Somewhere amongst all of that, I will need more steroids administered in ot my spine... one would think I wouldnt dread it still after nearly 2yrs of regular procedures? The disease specialist, thou a very sweet man, is trying desperatly to find the source of the fever to no avail. Yet again, another kind man, obviously concerned, but baffled by the source of the fever that has been present for a very very long time now. The hearing loss has to be measured again. It isnt painful or anything, just time consuming. At what point will it stop? Or get so bad that I need a hearing aid? I can barley hear the TV or phone. Was just "hushed voices or low voices" at the beginng of the year. And why isnt there a cure or pill one can take to re attain hearing? The sleepless fog has settled over me finally. It is both a blessing and a curse. I dont mind sleeping for such short peroids of time, but, I often wonder why there isnt a cure for that either? Ever present, despite all the problems, I pray endlessly for good results for the bone density scann in feburary. Am I setting myslef up for failure? I know my spine is not doing good and the degeneration / rotation / curve is progressing rapidly... is it futile to dream? to pray? to hope for a time when we can stop it all, now. No more damage? 
   Bleh, too much for one mind. Or perhaps just too much for my mind.
   On a more lighter note. I was called into the dental office a few days ago. I was concerned, wondering why??? But when I got there they were all smiling brightly and asked us both. husband and I to come back. The they pulled out the most beautiful pair of natural ivory teeth. The top is georgous and they even fixxed my over bite. The bottom matches perfectly and locks into place. I cried so hard. It was so frightnening to have them all crumble out of my mouth in just a few months time. So hard to have them all removed and have to re- learn to talk and eat. And now, they are here. An early gift from the lab whent hey heard my story. I cried so much. My mouth is sore, tender and a pressure / pulling sensation but I dont mind. I cannot talk very well just yet but I am sure a few nights of Dr. Seuss can sure that. I have an event at my daughters school tomorrow. Though I wont be able to talk or walk very well, wont be able to see much, or hear much. I will be able to smile. Finally. I will be able to show how proud and happy I am of my beautiful little bumble bees. And for that I am very greatful.
    Now that Ive dumped all my woorries, fears, excitment on you all. I am afraid I have taken up much of my free time. I havee ALOT of candies and chocolates to wrapp up before tomorrow. Take care



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood



Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 12/17/2009 12:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been having a really rough time lately. My vision & neurologic function of my eye is continuing to worsen, and my pain has been through the roof lately - probably partly because of all the extra studying/reading for exams. I've also been having a hard time with my depression lately. I had to call my psychiatrist last week & we completely changed around all my meds. Hopefully that will do the trick. Depression makes the pain worse & the pain makes the depression worse. The cycle has to break somewhere.

Other than that, I'm looking forward to the holidays & winter "break" (I unfortunately have to write a big chunk of my thesis over the break). And I'm really really looking forward to my stimulator trial (more on that later). I think I've gotten my hopes up more than I should, but it's helping to keep me going.


Post Edited (skeye) : 12/17/2009 10:15:20 AM (GMT-7)

Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 12/17/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
As far as Pain is concerned, I think I'm doing OK, and won't complain about it. I have a great job, and worry that someday I won't be able to do it anymore. I earn almost all of our income, so that is a worry for me. I worry about the up coming surgery, and hope that I will finally get to feeling better. At times though, I probably worry more about my friends here on HW, as many of them are facing or have faced multiple health issues. Then there are happy times, like the good news from Danni about her new teeth. I'm jumping up and down for you Danni! Wahoo! I'm scared...really scared...and I suppose it is natural to be scared of the unknown's in our lives. We all worry about our survival....I guess the kind words can only go so far from well wishers...but who will really pick up the pieces when we are on our last and final road to dependency, unable to take care of ourselves. After all;... with stories of how long it takes to get signed up and approved, if at all for SSD and the such. I have always given, and very rarely taken anything for my self,....always the last one in line at a family dinner. I'm not used to asking for help...and thought I would never find myself in a position to do so. Will those who I have supported and given fully of myself return the favor when I need it? I fear not! I have been so disappointed in humanity.... of those who are nothing more than just well wishers in life. So, I guess that most of my real pain comes from the fear that no one will really care enough to help. Chutzy!...Thank You for allowing this type of thread here this morning. I could write a book on this, but I'm afraid it would bore many of you here.

Anybody hear anything of my friend PaLady? I have not seen a posting from her in quite a while.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/17/2009 4:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Handle things......the same as I have since day one.

I have my mental shields in place which allow me to function but even with them fully engaged I still hurt.

I was entertaining the notion of taking my shields down for my next appointment with my PCP just to show her how much pain I really am in, but I quickly thought better of it since I may not be able to put them back in place again. As it is however I don't know how much longer I can keep it up as it is draining and this is by far the longest I have had to use them constantly.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 453
   Posted 12/17/2009 9:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I am doing okay, I hurt and try to ignore it is very difficult to do. I had a wonderful day yesterday and for the first time in months I actually walked behind a cart instead of driving one of their carts at WalMart. I was on my feet and moving well but today nobody would give you a plug nickle for me. shocked

I just had my granddaughter and soon to be ex-son-in-law for dinner and that hurts almost more than the pains. Our daughter is our daughter and we love her and want her to be happy but they have been married and together for 20 years so it has taken some getting used to for us. We love him and know he was so good to her he's just 12 years older and let himself get old instead of trying to stay young and I don't think she knows what she wants. Our granddaughter is almost 18 and an only child and has chosen to stay with her dad so that tells me something too. But the situation makes me sad because there is nothing we can do to fix it... nono

I have always been the care giver of the family and this past year they have all had to take care of me and I don't like that. I want to be myself and kick a** like I used to. I just hope that 2010 is better for that. Not that I kick much a** I just was able to if need be. tongue

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 12/18/2009 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, I'm a little late coming to this thread, but had to add my 2 cents.

I wish I was one of the busy ones this season, but when you live alone with no children holidays are different. And this year will be a first for me in that my cousin who usually has Christmas Day at her house went out of town with her husband to see their newly born grandchild. They'll be gone until nearly the first of the year. And my goddaughter and her husband are going to San Diego to be with his parents this year, so they'll also be gone. I'm not even sure what I'll do for Christmas Day. My one cousin will probably come up on the 26th, and there's a small family gathering at her brother's house I'll probably go to, but with my goddaughter gone it's never the same. She's like a daughter to me and I'll miss her and the kids.

I'm also physically hurting more. I think moving boxes and such in closing up my office and shoveling the major snow fall we got last week (nearly 2 feet) really has the muscles in my lower back in spasms off and on. I can get it to calm down with heat and the TENS and creams and such, but then it comes back. So that's a bit of a bummer as I've not had those muslces this tight since I was in PT, and of course I've got no PT on my insurance plan.

I know this sounds scrooge like, but for me I'm glad when it's January 1st and the holidays are over and done. Some of us aren't into them in the same way, so please don't feel sorry for me - just understand that there are different perspectives and situations on holidays. And I'm not religious so that's also a factor.

I wish a great holiday for everyone, though!


Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 12/18/2009 11:23 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm also late coming, sorry I haven't been on for a few days. It was the end of our semester. On Thursday, my program director (we're really small, only 17 people in my class and four full-time professors) called me into her office to talk to me about maybe taking medical leave next semester. It was something I've been thinking about, because I've missed a ton of class. I've stayed mostly caught up on work, but its not fair to my classmates and my professors. Then she said that next term, during one of our professional seminars, they're going to talk to my classmates about how to deal with a situation like this. My director said that she and the other profs were really disappointed in my classmates and how they treated me. I'm not sure what happened, I was really just ignored.

Pain wise, its been bad. I'm hoping to get in with my regular doctor when I get home before I get up to Mayo, then hopefully the PM guys in Minnesota can give me some options. If not, I really am going to have to think about medical leave, because this definitely was not the graduate school experience I wanted.

I'm flying home to Iowa on Sunday. I feel so embarrassed but I normally sit in a wheelchair at airports, all that walking and jostling and luggage handling really does me in. Hopefully the flights are smooth, because otherwise I'll really be done for :) Anyway, I hope everyone has a good couple of days, and that the weather holds up well for you!

Pain Issue: Sub-scapular bursitis, scapular dyskinesia, nerve damage down left arm, shoulder and neck
Treatment: PT, Tens Unit, Oxycodone, Diazepan, Hydrocodone-APAP, Tramadol, Voltaren/Duac gel

Also random hearing loss in both ears at age 18ish, not sure exactly when it happened or why. Got amazing Oticon hearing aids at 20, they've worked wonders! Keep hoping that my doctors can connect my ears to my shoulder and fix them both all at once!! A girl can dream, right?

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