It is either old age or House Syndrome.

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Date Joined Jul 2009
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   Posted 1/8/2010 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   
So today I took the wife and kid to the store to do a bit of grocery shopping and on the way home I stopped at a gas station to put some fuel in my truck.

While I am standing out there shivering pumping gas this woman in a new shiny SUV pulls up. She jumps out wearing these thin stylish slacks, what appeared to be a silk blouse, and a sweater. She puts the nozzle in the SUV, starts the pump and gets back in. With the wind blowing the way it was it took me a moment to realize she also has left the engine running.

Well I finish getting my gas about the time she starts and go in to pay for it. I inform the cashier that there was a dummy fueling, unattended, and with the engine running. The cashier looked at me like "so". With that encouragement I decide to get the hell out of there before some thing happens and we all turn into well roasted hot dogs.

I wasn't going to say another word but as the woman in the SUV was finished and going inside to pay just as I was walking out something came over me. I stood in the doorway and told her that I have never met anyone whose life's ambition was to be a french fry. She gets this really blank look on her face while freezing her butt off and I explained that leaving a car running while fueling is a good way to start a fire. She then tells me it was too cold to turn her SUV off.

At this point I told her she had to be one of the stupidest people I had ever met. First off it is 4 degrees out with a -17 windchill and she is not wearing at least a warm coat. 2nd in order to keep from being cold she leaves her vehicle running while fueling putting in danger not only herself but everyone else including my 4 year old son who is sitting in my truck with my wife, 3rd the automatic shutoffs on the pump handles have a greater chance of failing in cold weather vs warm weather so she actually increased the chances of causing a disaster.

At this point she pushes me aside and goes in to pay and as I am walking out I shout to her.....Grow a brain.

Now this really is so unlike me. I rarely "speak out of turn" and if I do it is usually extremely polite and diplomatic.

This incident, has left me wondering if I am just turning into a grumpy old man.....OK I am 40 and not exactly OLD, or am I suffering from what can be called House Syndrome (as in the TV show) where chronic long term pain make you caustic in your dealings with others. This also isn't the first time I have done something like this in the last year since no longer having a real pain management. I can't count how many times I have come upon people standing in an aisle at the store, blocking it 100% talking and talking and after being nice and saying excuse me to no good say in loud voice they should go rent a community center if they want to have a reunion (or something like that).

More and more often I am pointing out acts of rudeness and stupidity in a very blunt matter to the ones who are committing them.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

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Date Joined Jan 2005
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   Posted 1/9/2010 12:50 AM (GMT -6)   

I commend you for speaking up. No one nor no community needs to have a gas station turn into a bomb! What are the chances??? Or probably less than more but that doesn't mean you should do it! Not wearing a coat? Heating the INSIDE of a car to stay warm while she puts the nozzle on the outside of her car?? How bright is that?? It doesn't matter if it's male or female, there are so many people in hurry to live their lives that they not only do dangerous things but their lives are passing them by. It's time more of us speak up.

I had an opportunity to do that on Monday. My daughter came over and she's, let's say, an airhead. Always rushing no matter what she does with things flying and breaking in her wake and she just shrugs it all off. Well on Monday she wasn't watching when she backed up and she hit our 5th wheel's bad enough that her insurance company is having it fixed. She has broken 3 carpet cleaners of mine over the years and no I won't loan her mine any more. This summer she broke the pressure washer...and it goes on and on. My comment to her the day after hitting our trailer was to 'slow down and enjoy life'. I'm not sure if she "got it".

You are not a crabby, ornery old you are NOT old. If you are old then I'm somewhere near the beginning of the

You might have found kinder words for conveying your thoughts to this 'female' today but ta know...sometimes it just comes out and it's OK, IMHO.

We love ya Jim!
"Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Tony McGuire
Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 483
   Posted 1/9/2010 12:54 AM (GMT -6)   

You are not committing acts of rudeness but rather pointing out acts of rudeness.

I do the same things. Thank you for your contributions.

keep the faith
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 1/9/2010 9:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I wish I had a copy of the newspaper story to send you about such an incident in a town 23 miles from me. It blew up the gas station and killed the young man.  You could hand it out to these idiots.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 702
   Posted 1/9/2010 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   
I have been doing the same thing! I am finding it very hard to keep my mouth shut and I have some rage which I am taking meds for. Its strange.

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White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3602
   Posted 1/9/2010 10:58 AM (GMT -6)   
I am with you on this, some of these people are not only rude, but as in the lady at the gas station, her actions are extremely dangerous! It maybe would not be so bad, if the only lives these people were putting in peril, was their own!!, But sadly often that is not the case! They are putting other innocent lives also in danger, and that really gripes me!

You have raised an interesting point, as I have also found myself more and more intolerant of these inconsiderate "people" that seem to have no manners, or even care about how their actions affect the lives of others around them! I am also usually a very mild mannered person and usually I never say anything to anybody. But any more I have found myself fed-up with it, and if I don't stand up for my rights! Then who, may I ask will? Maybe it is because I am getting older, or I am getting ornery and cranky, or I am just tired of having pain, and then also having to put up with thoughtless, rude, incondiderate, people, oblivious to anything or anyone that is around them!

It is time that people be reminded that the world around them is not just "theirs" but it is shared with and by OTHERS, like U & Me and EVERYONE ELSE!

Jim I share your frustrations, and I like you, don't find myself passively putting up with it any more! I am fed-up to here with these people, and now I firmly, but very politely let them know about their thoughtless inconsiderate actions! Who knows maybe if more people were politely made aware of things like this, this really might be a nicer place to live!

White Beard

keep the faith
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 1/9/2010 12:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I think it says on the gas pumps to turn engins off. do you think it might help to point that out to them that it is there for a reason.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13363
   Posted 1/9/2010 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Naw you are not old, 40 is young otherwise I would be as old as the Mayflower, lol. No, you are not getting mean or ornery and being cooped up in the house has nothing to do with it and your CP has nothing to do with it. You have something many people do not have "common sense". I know many intelligent (book wise) people, but, they are totally ignorant because they have no common sense. If a person has no common sense then they are ignorant.
I have to add my two cents on grocery shopping and shopping in general. I hate going to the grocery store, why, its the people that stop their cart in the middle of the aisle so no one can get thru and they stand there and scratch trying to read the labels and decide what to buy. Or they run into an old friend and want to hold "old home week" in the middle of the aisle. Drives me nuts. I very loudly will say excuse me.  Or what about the one at the cashier checking out and she is almost finished and remembers she forgot an item or two and she runs to get her items. She holds up the cashier who can't say a word to the customer because they are always right. So, she is being held up and so are the rest of the customers. I try to shop either very early in the morning or very late at night to not have to be around these people. My children refuse to take me shopping, they call me the shopper from hell. The only one brave enough to take my is my poor daughter-in-law she gets stuck with the old bat.
The ladies at the mall are brutal. Between carrying those big suitcases for purses and knocking the hell out of you with one of them or the ones with little kids in strollers and hitting you with them, we can't win. Thats why I shop online.
But, in my defense I do have a nice side that comes out in the grocery store. If I have a lot of items in my cart and someone comes up behind me with only a couple of things, I always let them go ahead of me so they can get out there. That always brings a smile and a thank you.

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 1/9/2010 5:01 PM (GMT -6)   
It is not so much me speaking up or out that has me somewhat puzzled, as I think doing so more easily is one of those things that come with age, confidence, etc, it is how I have been doing it lately.

Like I said earlier I used to do so very diplomatically, often as if I was teaching, but here lately I have been very blunt and abrasive about it. The more I think about though I think it is what I termed the House Syndrome. I have been hurting for so long, and lately a lot more than I used to, that I no longer have any tolerance for stupidity.

One thing I do have to admit though. At times it is a little fun being a "jerk" to the real morons of the world. smilewinkgrin
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 1/9/2010 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I have to laugh at your term "House Syndrome" -- my older boys and I love that show... and I get exactly what you are saying. Yep, I, too, think it comes w/ just hurting for so long and just a lack of tolerance for people who aren't using their brain :)

I think my boys would say that I have a tendency to have this "House Syndrome" that you speak of...especially on my bad days.

Pain Issues: Cervical/Thoracic back pain; migraines; carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain, nerve pain in hands/arms/feet; I also have Dysautonomia/POTS; CFS/Fibromyalgia; Severe Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Hypoadrenalism; Mixed (Obstructive/Central) Sleep Apnea - on Auto BiPap; Depression/Anxiety; etc etc

Meds: MS Contin; Dilaudid; Actiq; Soma ; Neurontin; Atenolol; Midodrine; Phenergan/Zofran/Reglan; Effexor; Synthroid; Prednisone; and on the list goes...

Future Plans: Intrathecal Pain Pump; already completed trial; awaiting my decision for implantation

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 1/10/2010 4:14 AM (GMT -6)   
You know I do think some of it comes with aging (and some from UNtreated CP - definitely makes me edgy, to say the least), and you are way younger than me and a few others here (did we all come over on the Mayflower together??? LOL). But I can remember looking at "old" people decades ago and wondering why they didn't seem to care if they had two different color socks on, or whatever, and now I know exactly why! I - and it sounds like I'm not alone - have reached a point where I care very little what others think anymore. Ok, yes, it does get to me now and then, but basically I've got no energy left to worry about it, and that includes worrying about my being assertive. I don't think you were being mean to that woman, just speaking up, and since she didn't seem to get it with your initial comment, what choice but to add a few extra words? Problem is, she'll think YOU'RE the problem because in her mind she's already justified her behavior.

I do think annoying behavior is different from downright dangerous behavior, as hers was. And like WB said, not just dangerous to herself, but to others.

I know a few people who are able to put such a beautiful humorous twist to a comment and still get the point across - and usually make the person the brunt of the joke, or embarassed, while others are laughing. I'm not talking about sarcasm that's biting, I'm talking about the art of being able to find the humor and twist it around to make your point. It is an art, one which I don't have. Good comedians do, though.

Ok, I'm rambling in the wee hours of the morning and of course, the computer has finally let me make more than 1 post. Let's see if this one holds!


Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 1/10/2010 8:26 AM (GMT -6)   
I think we have a general tolerance threshold. I've read somewhere before that Fibromyalgia can be likened to "over-stimulation", like a 6 month old. Because our CNS is so active a lot of stimuli makes us over-excited. It causes us pain, and mental and physical stress. Of course everything involved in living this life of ours incolves our CNS so, it is my theory that when we are hurting all the time we may not filter our behaviors as well as we would if we were feeling well.

I compare it to any basic need. If you are starving, you must get food before you can free up the mind for human behaviors, like politeness & civil behavior (vs criminal). Until ur basic needs r met u r more instinctual like an animal. I believe pain applies. Considering love is a basic need and it sure is hard to love yourself or your world when you hurt all the time.

This is just my opinion. I am far more blunt in expressing myself and my family thinks I am nuts. But I just say what I think, despite not always thinking I should say anything at all. For instance griping my brother out because he doesn't think he should pay child support. Or bringing up childhood/abandonment issues that normally I would leave alone.

Just my opinion--please excuse typos as I'm using my cell phone
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)

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