Nurs2...never be ashamed of how you feel...I can clearly tell that you are in real pain. Your family will be able to tell as well...that your are in serious pain. Are you taking any pain meds at all to help you through this difficult time? We all feel bad for you....there is pain, then there is unbareable pain...which sounds like you are suffering. I wish you the best...and hope you at least have some pain meds to help you there.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stood