Merrygirl, You are definitely in a difficult position. It is bad enough dealing with your life but having to take on the problems of several family members. The one thing I would suggest is that if you do need to talk to your father and brother, do not do it alone. Find another family member or friend that can go with you just in case things turn out ugly. You have to protect yourself even if you are trying to help them.
The option of getting some kind of guardianship or having them declared incompetent is sometimes difficult especially if they have a doctor that does not agree with you. You would need to have documented proof to back your claims and if it is not granted, you could face difficult relations with them afterwards. Again, it would be better if you had others with you to support and protect you through the process.
Is it possible to have your father eligible for some sort of home health care that can help monitor him and take part of the brunt off you? I am not suggesting you abandon him but try and get some outside help as it appears there is a past history of him not being open to you intervening. Just a few thoughts. My prayers are with you.
Carmen~*~*~Chronic Pain Moderator
DX-Chronic Pain due to two freak car accidents, Pancreatic Divisum,Fibromyalgia, Asthma, Depression w/anxiety, Migraines
Meds- Suboxone 16mg for pain, Cymbalta 60mg, Lyrica 50mg, Imitrex 100mg PRN,Ibprofen 800mg PRN, Ventolin Inhaler PRN, Visteril PRN