snow days=no medicine

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cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/11/2010 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I used to post more on the Fibromyalgia forum, but i skulk around here as a guest on my blackberry more now than anything.  this computer chair kills me.  the only way i can post a new thread though is to get in here and do it.  hehe
 
well, i find that necessary right now.  due to the snowy weather here in arkansas, my appointment was moved from last monday until tuesday and then cancelled until saturday.  so now it is thursday and we are supposed to be getting more snow and from the looks of it, i won't be going saturday either.  i'm about to die!!! (figuratively)
 
because of this i'm out of oxycontin (40 mg 3x/day), soma (350 mg 3x/day), and 0xycodone (5 mg 4 x/day).  i've already done the withdrawals which were minor.  just a little kicking.  my husband used to swear that i laid around all day because of my pills now, he can see that i lay around WAY more when i don't have my meds because i'm in so much pain. 
 
so my husband comes up with the brilliant idea that i need to move around and i will feel better, i agreed, so i stood for 10 minutes.  my blood pressure was 175/133. it took a hour to get it down and i had to take blood pressure meds, and now it is 86/68 so i feel like crap just as bad.  i can't hardly take my blood pressure meds because as the dr explained to me, it was pain, so the pain needed to be dealt with, but my husband begged me so i took a blood pressure pill. 
 
i don't know what to do, sitting here is hurting me, laying down helps because i can prop my legs up (my calves are killing me- and my lower back- and my sciatic nerve- and my head -i even have double vision).
 
any recommendations- besides a hot shower, i don't think i can stand that long, and the bath tub hurts to lay in it, so that is out too..
 
thanks guys in advance. 
 
 
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


skeye
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 2/11/2010 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cat,

Is there any way that your doctor can write you a prescription before your appointment? If it's been 30 days, then you're due for a refill & they should have that in their records, so I don't see why they wouldn't let you pick up a prescription, especially since you are scheduled to see the doctor soon anyway. Or if they don't want to give you a script for a month's worth, maybe you can get at least enough pills to get you through the next few days until your appointment.

Skeye

cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/11/2010 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
They won't do anything. He is a great dr but he will NEVER write a script without seeing his patient. He is very careful about legalities. I'm sure that I should've had a couple days due to scheduling in previous months, and I did have 1 day, but I used the extra from previous two months (were very few) on the days that it was a lot worse.

It is miserable, the bad thing is, if he actually gets to open Saturday, 3 days worth of patients are going to pile in there between 8 & 12. They are going to be cranky and impatient. I told hubby I want to be there before 8 and he said now way is he driving me if we get any snow...which I understand but I am about to lose my mind. Of course I will go Monday most likely if not Saturday, but every day seems like weeks.

At least this has allowed me to see how well my pain was managed. My back usually hurts tremendously when I'm on medsn I can feel it and it is bad, but nothing compared to the other pains. Ugh!
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 2/11/2010 4:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat, I wonder if you would sit down with your Dr. as explain your situation with him the next time you see him. Just ask him if he will write you a script for a lower dose to keep on hand, and offer to bring it in with you so they can count the pills to make sure your taking it only when you can't get into him. That would be a fair request to make in my opinion. Try it, as questions are usually free. Take care!

Michael

DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) S1-L4-L5


Jim1969
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Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 2/12/2010 1:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I can understand a doctor not wanting to write a full month's script for narcotics without an actual office visit but in cases like this I would think that some kind of exception could be made where a partial script could be written for long enough to see you through until your appointment.

If you make it in on Sat it would be something to talk to your doctor about in case something like this happens again for whatever reason. If your appt is canceled again then call and ask if you could get a partial script to get your through to your next appt. The worst that can happen is that they say no.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/12/2010 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
Michael and Jim, thank you I will ask my dr about that.

If I would have saved all my meds perfectly for the past year I might have made it til saturday but I tend to use that on the days it is really bad, but no more

From now on I'm stockpilling (sp?) It.

Thishas been a good thing in a way because I remember exactly what my pain level actually is, and my husband can see how much better I "function" when on meds. Now instead of telling me I just want to get high he is telling me that he can't wait for me to get my meds. When I move around my bp goes through the roof it is high laying down. Then when I take a med I get severly hypotensive. I almost blacked out several time through the night. It was one extreme or the other.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 2/12/2010 6:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh my gosh Cat!!!!
That is just nothing but dangerous! Your doctor sounds an awful lot like mine! Alas, our husbands are polar opposites. I'm sorry you are having to go through the pain you are, but I've done this before, not run out, but I didn't take the pills for about 2 days because I wanted the doctor to know exactly how I felt. I didn't want the meds to mask anything! And then, they UA'd me for the first time! LOL! My luck! LOL!! Anyway, I didn't do that again, but I did realize how much more I hurt without the meds. The other thing I figured out was that I metabolize my meds in a weird way. I got UA'd again a month later and it was still low. The pm really thought I wasn't taking them. I asked them what the heck I'd be doing with them and I found out that apparently people actually sell their meds! Oh my gosh! I was just floored at that thought. Anyway, I purchased some drug tests because I wanted to test myself. I found out that even though I had taken a 10 mg Percocet 2 hours (which is supposed to be when it peaks) before the test and it barely recognized opiates in my system. Hmm.. Cat, if you have to call the town transit bus who helps people who can't drive get to appts or if you can call a cab, get in to that appt. You should Not! be having to be in such pain. Goodness, you will so be in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how you are, ok?
Cat
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, Adhesive Capsulitis "aka" Frozen Shoulder, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC (Interstitial Cystitis), Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/12/2010 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you catz4, my blood pressure is my demon right now, I'm trying now to let the pain take the front burner. My husband was telling me to get up but one look at my face (or maybe me telling him no) and he left me alone and then yelled "I'm so tired of you laying around all the time"...I trailed off behind him in a non angry voice "me too". He's a jerk, he threw stuff 3 x's last week bc he was mad @ me. He used to never ever ever even think of doing anything like that but he is under a ton of stress. He apologized, not for being angry but for reacting that way and he agreed he needs help. I asked him when he was finally going to hit me, and he said "I don't know, I hope never". Anyways I told him that he knows I grew up in that and I'm not going to tolerate it, so this is my warning, he gets help or helps himself or I will help him and remove his "stress" and leave.

Somedays, I wonder why in the hell I stay here. I'm off topic now...sorry.

That's what my pain does ...focus on the bad.

Lucky for me the roads are clear so I can go tomorrow but I don't think I an drive because of my blood pressure, I'm not sure what I'm going to do now because of that....
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/12/2010 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Cat8201,
Pain takes a toll on our lives in so many ways, but as I think you know someone being violent is never ok unless it's in compete self-defense. I'm glad you're setting a limit with your husband, and requiring him to get some help. Throwing things is violence, it's just not directed at you - yet. But this is how things progress, and I have a hunch you know that from your past experience and from the question you asked your husband. His response is disturbing, because even he is admitting in that response he's not sure that he won't hit you.

Please, have him get some help, and maybe seeing a therapist for yourself could give you some support and help you with your stress through all this. I'm not saying you're the problem here, just that it might be a help to you, but you're right he needs some help for his stress and anger management. I'm really glad to read you won't tolerate any violence toward you. No wonder your BP is all over the place - fear of what might happen added to CP sure doesn't help!

Hugs,

PaLady

cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/12/2010 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you PAlady, his response was pure honesty. We try to be really honest and I think he was trying to say that he never even thought he would throw things so...he hopes to never throw anything again. But he promised already he wouldn't. And he broke that promise, besides in my head what good is a promise if he isn't going to get any help.

I am set up to go to a psychiatrist soon for my problems, wouldve went this week if the weather were clear. But, both he and I blame me for the problems. I'm not working (but I get income which he forgets), I can't be the housewife that he wants me to be where I keep the house spotless and cook him breakfast lunch and dinner. I don't try to impress people like I used to, like cleaning when my mom is coming, because I can't. He said not to long ago "I cannot believe you are not going to clean when your MOMMA is coming. That is so lazy!". I said that if I were faking I could turn it off and get up and do it, but I'm not.

I don't want to lose my son, and I wouldn't have grounds to keep him: job, health, means, etc. So I put up with it. He loved me soo much before. We had the relationship that my friends wanted. We talked and trusted. Well even then he was mean about my weight. Now it is my health. Even my mom who adores my husbnd and my step dad have noticed it. But you know....I dunno. I hope my son has more empathy for people than my husband.

Basically it's all in my head, I'm just being lazy and I would rather get high on pills than live my life. It hurts me to the core and is making me a cold person.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/12/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Just to show how he thinks he told me if I got the handicap placcard for the car that he wouldn't let me use it because I need the exercise. So now, I just don't go to the store.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/12/2010 5:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat,
You're not saying you believe it's all in your head, are you? I'm not sure how you meant that last sentence in your post. Because it's NOT all in your head.

CP is certainly one of the issues that your husband needs to understand better so he treats you with the respect you deserve. But it doesn't sound to me like CP is the only problem here. Sounds like he's has some problem with being critical and at least verbally mean to you from a long time ago (like you mention the weight). You shouldn't have to live feeling like you're being held hostage because you want to be with your son. I hope you can ask the psychiatrist to help you find a therapist that can support you and understand pain as well as domestic violence. You don't want this to become any more serious than it is, and your son will learn from what he sees. Remember that part, ok? I've got some professional background in this area, although I'm not trying to give you medical advice here. But this isn't all you, and the first thing you need to do is challenge yourself to stop believing that. Your husband doesn't understand what you're going through, and maybe he never will, but I hope you get some support to help you to stop feeling guilty and responsible for everything. It's NOT all you!

Hugs,

PaLady

cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/12/2010 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou PA, the last sentence was his perspective not mine. I have always been strong. But I am def weaker now than I was before I became ill. I try not to let him get to me but I have become severely depressed and have even thought to myself that life would be better without me. But intellectually I know better than that. What hurts the most is him saying that I don't think about him, he and my son are what I think about most.

I grew up in extreme domestic violence. I have never been involved in the situation myself but I left a guy once for breaking an ironing board while I was ironing and leaving a fist print in my steel door. That was enough for me. My friends and family know about this situation-well one friend- so I am not hiding it yet, and they do not support it. If it continues and most def if it progresses I am leaving. I hope we can get help first but we will see.

I studied psychology in college I only lack a few hours from having my b.s. But that has been years. My husband is often intimidated by my education (I feel) so I don't even try to teach him how to fight fair, I just leave it alone.

But I promise that I am getting professional help.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


Mrs. Dani
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Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 2/12/2010 10:46 PM (GMT -7)   
 
    Dear Cat,
 
       Please excuse my horribly late response to your thread. *huggs* How are you holding up tonight? I hope a little bit better than last night. The pain you have had to endure the last few weeks would make a grown man weep. What stregenth you posses! *hugg* Is tomorrow your appointment? Has the snow eased up enough so you can get to your doctor? I hope it has, the last few weeks must have you down right exhausted.
 
       please forgive me, but I am gonna take a bit to read the whole thread before I continue this response....
 
     "any recommendations- besides a hot shower, i don't think i can stand that long, and the bath tub hurts to lay in it, so that is out too.."
 
       Perhaps, but I don't know how you will feel about it. I use these little blow up pillows with suction cups on the bottom for baths. They slide though so you would need help entering the bath initally, but once you get weight on the pillow the suction cupps stay in place fairly well.
 
       I am sorry your doctor wont just refil your meds. I get the impression my doctor calls in my scripts and makes sure there isnt any "lapses" because the medicines I take cause withdrawl. One in particular... *shiver*  Have you been seeing your doctor for a long time? if so, perhaps in passing you could mention how hard this lapse was and if he would be willing to say, give 3 months worth? I don't know though, if they will already be stressed out you might not want to mention it.
 
       ..Oh! Michael made a great suggestion! That would keep you from withdrawl. Great Idea for sure.
 
     Your husbands "tone" and thought process reguarding your chronic illness(s) is troubling. You mentioned he drives you to your appointments... Does he come into the patient room with you as well? If so I think it would be a good idea to ask direct questions of your doctor while he is present to eliminate his thought process reguarding you. IE " Dr, _____ has a hard time understanding the difference between a drugg addict who uses medicines to gain a "high" and someone who takes medicines for a chronic illness. Are there any resources or tools that you can provide us with?" or "_____ and I are having a hard time adjusting our relationship now that I have limitations. Is there some way that you could help?" You get the idea. Ask, nicely, while your husband is present. Address his... concerns.. directly to your doctor. Also a questions like "What are some of the health hazards to being in severe pain for prolonged periods of time."
 
      You know, sometimes, it is hard to realize that .. and I do not by any means want to sound dramatic. But.. Today, now, is the best you will ever feel. You will never feel as good as you do today, tomorrow. And you will never feel as good as you do tomorrow, next week. What I mean by that, is that your time is precious. What time you have here is worth more than gold. You, above all else, deserve to spend that day, that moment, as comfortable as possible. Not in the precarious shadow of someone who will redicule, belittle and isolate you. You have more than enough burdon to bear in this life, without wasting one moment playing a party to his anger. I can understand he is mad, and goodness so are you. But together you are both ten times stronger than you are apart. No matter what happens down the road you both need to be able to communicate effectivly because you still need to co-parent. Perhaps, he needs to be reminded of that?
 
      I am afraid I have to end this here or I will chat the night away. I do hope you can get to the doctor tomorrw. And more importantly, at some point, some much needed relief. You are in our hearts here. Stay strong!
 
*hugg*
   dani
 
     
 
      
 
 
 
       .
 

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/13/2010 3:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Dani, thank you. I think I am going to quote you about the days being gold and put it on my fridge. I need to remind myself of that every day.

I am ok tonight. I fell asleep around 11 and woke up at 2.hubby started snuggling with me and woke me up. He only wants to snuggle in the middle of the night. I usually welcome it (he works nights so we are rarely in the bed together) but tonight I really wanted to rest and no touch!! So I woke up and my natural alarm clock is at 4:30 am anyways so I'll most likely just stay awake. I'm laying on a body pillow on the couch now. It is dark and quiet.

Ok, so my husband was only going to drive me to the dr if the weather was bad. Or if my blood pressure was still funny. He is taking our son to a basketball game so I can get there at 8:00 because even he agrees that I don't want to be there all day. He drives me if I'm having an injection, but not normally.

He works nights so he is usually either "preparing to go to bed" or in bed. ...and he complains about me laying around,then points out to me that if I cleaned the house for 8 hrrs a day I would have the right to lay around. (This was the conversationwe just had before I got out of the bed)

So I am not focused now. I'm tired, in pain, and stressed so I will need to continue later.

By the way, he is handing my meds this month so maybe he will feel better. I'm not allowed to take 1 before I get home and he already asked me not to take my bt meds). Aarrg.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 2/13/2010 3:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Right or wrong I still have a hanging Handicap Placard we got for my Mom before she passed that is good until the end of this year that I use on occasion. If I am having a fair day I won't use it and park where ever, but on bad days that I have to get out and can't find a decent parking spot I do use it. Sometimes eliminating an extra 10 yards from the car to the store can mean the difference between MAJOR pain and bad pain by the time the shopping is done.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/13/2010 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree jim, and I'm suffering from sciatia which is terrible in and of itself without all the other things.

So it is 5:30 am and I thought my migraine meds were increasing my blood pressure. It is now 195/135. If I can just make it through this morning. And I'm driving myself so I hope that isn't stressful to add on top of my terrbly high blood pressure.

So, I did want to add that my meds cannot be called in. They have to be written.

I'm going at 8 this morning in hopes of beating the crowd, I'll post more. As I use my phone anyways.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


flower123
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Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 2/13/2010 5:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Why is he handling your meds this month? Why are you "not allowed" to take one before you get home? Why doesn't he want you to take your b/t meds? Reading about the way your are treated by him makes my blood boil!

If it were me, I wouldn't let someone else handle my meds. unless I was having a serious problem with them. It doesn't seem right that he is able to decide when you can take your meds (unless you were having trouble taking them correctly). I would want to have control of my meds. It's your body and you know it better than anyone.

I am so glad that you are going to get professional help. Will he join you and go to counseling with you. Maybe that would help him to see how badly he is mistreating you. No one deserves this.

Stay strong!

Hugs,

Flower

cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/13/2010 9:42 AM (GMT -7)   
i think he is willing to seek help with me now, before he wouldn't. i have come up short before in my meds, but i'm honest about it. i usually throw up A LOT and because of this i take a second dose (if i can see my pill in my vomit). but it doesn't matter why i do it, even if i came up perfect all the time, he would still want to hand me my medicine because he thinks i just want them to get high.

so this month will be hell because if i'm not in pain-by his judgement-then he will not think that i need my meds.

i'm back from the dr now, and even though i wasn't supposed to take any meds before he looked and dealt with them, well, i couldn't take it. i'm not going to see him for a couple more hours, so i took one of my extended releases about an hour ago. i can already tell a smidgen of a difference. i left my soma and my break through medicine alone. we'll see what this gets me.

my friend had a suggestion that when we go to dinner today (for v-day) that we see a movie first and then practice not talking about touching subjects. well, i'm going for the movie part. and rather than suggest that we don't talk about my health, i'm just going to talk about anything but it. so we will see how that goes.

on a side note, i saw my dr this morning. i'm back home. trying to get enough better to go eat with hubby. but we will see. i told him this morning that i didn't know if i would make it or not because i feel crappy.

so, i'm also thinking of going to stay with my mom tonight. my brother is there for the weekend with my darling niece, (she's 1 1/2). she is the most beautiful little girl ever. and she's finally saying aunt tab. she's been saying it to her mom for a long while, but she's finally saying it to me!!! and she says aunt tab mine. hehe, because she thinks i'm hers. so that will be theuraputic. i used to get her every thursday night and keep her on friday but my back has been out. and i so miss her.
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13454
   Posted 2/13/2010 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat just so you know this, because you are currently disabled does not by law make you an unfit mother. I don't know who told you that you would not be able to have your son if it leads to this but they are dead wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it is to prove a mother unfit? Do you have any idea how many disabled people have custody of their own children? I wanted to post this for you to read. If anything his violent temperment would not be a good leg to stand on in trying to fight over custody, think about it.

I would take back control of my medication unless you cannot be trusted with it and that is not what I am reading. He has no business messing with your medications unless you ask him to take that responsibility on. CP must be managed properly when medication is involved we have to stay on top of the pain not under it. Meaning, if you need BT meds you need access to them. This is all wrong. This is a form of abuse. You son also picks up on the tension in the air in that house, you are not hiding anything from the little one he knows more than you realize.
 

crohns disease dx 2002 & small bowel resection, still looking for remission whatever that is, chronic pain 22 yrs, added ulcerative colitis 6-05 to the mix, high blood pressure 28 yrs, aortic heart valve insuffiency, depression, osteoarthritis, osteoporosis lumbar spine, scoliosis lumbar spine, peripheral neuropathy hands & feet, COPD & on oxygen therapy, lupus & psoriasis and psoratic arthritis. Several other health issues just not enough room to list it all. Too many surgeries to list and too many medications to list. Currently on 17 different daily medications. Intrathecal pain pump implanted June 05.


PAlady
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/13/2010 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat,
I have to say I agree with Straydog and would ask the same questions Flower did in her post. Why is your husband taking control of your meds? Or rather - why are you allowing him to?

Cat since you have come from a history of domestic violence, the dynamic will feel "normal" to you deep inside, even though in your head you know it's unhealthy and wrong. Abusers are controlling in many ways - and your husband wanting to control your pain meds is just another example. With his attitude about pain meds, even if you were having trouble taking your meds as directed, your husband doesn't sound like the right person to take that over, as he's trying to make his own rules. The rules about how/when to take meds get made by your doctor, and whatever leeway your doctor has given you (for example, for BT meds) is then up to you. By giving your husband the control of your meds, you say via your actions that the cause of the problems is your pain, and that is not the case. There are other issues here besides your pain, and you know that. You need to trust yourself!

As far as having joint counseling, my suggestion to you would be to have your own therapist first, and then see about joint counseling. Your husband likely needs his own help first to deal with his anger and stress, and you need support. One counselor can't do all this, especially in the initial stages. You need to first learn to be able to be assertive and confident enough about what the limits and boundaries are in your marriage about how you'll permit yourself to be treated, and your husband needs to learn some skills to manage his issues. Then you can begin to work together. Just my opinion based on many years of professional experience.

I do hope you go to a movie and keep health and other unpleasant issues on the backburner so you can at least relax a little!

Take care!

PaLady

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40575
   Posted 2/13/2010 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat,

I agree with the others. Especially about the meds. If you don't take one when you need to, the pain can be really hard to control. I am not trying to scare you, but you know you have to stay on top of your pain. I know that you want to prove to him that you don't have a problem, but he should take your word for that. This just isn't right.

And I agree with the counseling. It is very important for you to have some additional support right now. You are in a very touchy position. You need to be able to see the situation for what it is. And it doesn't sound fair to you.

Have faith in yourself and your judgement. Get some counseling and get your self esteem back. You can do this. You are a good person and you are strong. You just need a little help to get your feet firm on the ground.

Know that we all are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 2/15/2010 2:41 AM (GMT -7)   
well, my husband's bark was much worse than his bark. i waited until my husband got home and we were getting ready to leave and he said well, have you taken them yet, and even though i had taken the one i said no. so he said ok, and that hss been the end of it.

us going to dinner and the movies. we never do stuff like that. have i mentioned that he is an awesome father!!! he is very dedicated as a spouse too, we just got to get help for the verbal issues, as is know hins..

i'm tired, so if i repost i am so sorry. we curled up like newlyweds in the move. we had never gone to the movies without at least a cousin or somethings.

so, again, if i do not make sense, i'm so tired it is 3:33 a.m. and i haven't slept good yet. i slept walk all through the night.

so, i did not talk about my health so..

it worked i was blubbb. she was here still this ;


so in the restaurant w00

ofi'a uk
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 2/15/2010 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Cat,
Maybe it's none of my business, but if you feel it's ok to post, then I'm going to assume it's ok for me to say what I feel needs to be said. I was once in a relationship that was very verbally abusive which later turned into physical abuse. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but as it is my experience, I can imagine your husband has probably at least slammed his hand down on the table scaring you to pieces or dropping you off at this place or that then you have to wait for him to come back and get you? Or maybe he really doesn't think you need to go anywhere, maybe not even to work. I'm no expert, but again this is only from my experience. But Cat, this thing about your meds is down right concerning! You aren't allowed to get what you need when you need it? I'm going to say this before I go any further; I'm no better than anyone else and I'm not perfect nor is my husband, but we have a good marriage. My husband gets my meds out when I ask him too. I have all my meds in a lock box that is very heavy so, he get's to help me a lot! If I say, "I can't sleep, will you give me another"...whatever I decide to get and he gets it. I allow him to help me get my meds, but he sure doesn't ask me about any of my meds, whether I'm taking them or not and he has believed I was sick from day one. No questions except the most important one which is, "What can I do for you." I'm saying all this because I'm concerned that being in so much pain, you've just given him complete control of everything! Maybe the truth of the matter is that he spent "X" amount of years not believing you which controlled your every thought about who you are, to "believeing you" (I think he may have always known) and taking over your medications is nothing short of taking over when you hurt, when you don't...taking over your very life! Be careful with everything please. In my relationship many years before my husband now, I was taking meds for migraines and he would keep it from me until it took me tons of meds to get the pain calmed down and he wouldn't "allow" me to have them!! So, as long as I stayed in pain, he could control me or make me do what he said when he said it. I would say to everyone here, this is just my opinion and you don't have to pay any attention. I don't know anything more than what you've told us about your husband. If everyone of us just maintained control over our illnesses, (and that includes me not taking care of my illnesses through getting a new pm group) we would maintain the power and control that chronic pain and other illnesses strip from us! Let's all take care of ourselves and our illnesses! We can make it through this somehow!
Cat (z)
Cat
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, Adhesive Capsulitis "aka" Frozen Shoulder, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC (Interstitial Cystitis), Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Panic Disorder
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


PAlady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 2/15/2010 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Cat8201,
I need to ask - are you ok? Your last post concerned me. I know you were tired, but something didn't seem right. Not having your medications as you need them, plus not sleeping and everything else - not a good combination.

I don't want you to feel like we're judging you, but I am concerned, and others are, too. I would really read what Catz4 has to say - she makes a lot of excellent points coming from her own life experience. It may not be the same as yours, but I bet there are some similarities. And she's right on target about your not having control over your own medications, and how that can make your pain and your life so much worse.

Let us know how you're doing today.

PaLady
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