i was feeling really down

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 3/13/2010 2:21 AM (GMT -7)   
 I was feeling really down and I still feel down about the fact that the surgeon I was tryinhg to get doesn't accept my insurance . I was more than down , i was very upset and depressed  about it .It means my whole life style walking or walker and thats big as it gets to a person .Then I felt ashamed about the way I was feeling but thats not right , a feeling isn't right or wrong it just is . So I deleted the post I had here , its been very hard to deal with this situation and I hate it but I am responsible for it ( see my post to myself lower down and you'll understand ) I'm better now but still down over it and frustrated .Its very hard when your like cripple and there is something that can fix it and you can't get it . Imagine that anyone .
 
HIV+ also Hep c , need hip replacement surgery on hold because of unknown but cellulitus-like ailment  .most pain from hip condition and cellulitus-like ailment .hands numb may have carpal tunnel syndrome now . Great frustration because doctors unable to diagnos ailment              .Medecines - Oxycontin , percocet ,  Celelbrex , lasix .

Post Edited (MIKEL99) : 3/13/2010 8:21:24 AM (GMT-7)


Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 3/13/2010 3:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Mikel, you call, write, whatever you need to do! You fight this with your friends! I am standing and believing in my heart that you will find the right person to do this surgery! I'm so sorry I wasn't available earlier. I spent time watching my daughter-in-love wash blood off my granddaughter's face! It was awful. She stepped on a stool to brush her teeth and the stool (which I said to put up before the babies got here!) tipped over and she bit all the way through her bottom lip! Oh dear, what can I possibly say or do to help you? I am here as your friend at all times and I am keeping you in my prayers. Please don't let the disappointment get in your way! I know it's easier said than done, but you are really such a strong person that I know you are going to get through this one too. It does seem like we all have these times when nothing is going the way you need it to go and it's overwhelming. You are in my thoughts and "this too shall pass". Don't let those demons get under your skin! We are all behind you 100%!
Cat(z4)
I'm called Cat, but as there are few other Cat's on here, I put the number of cats I have and combined it to spell out Catz4
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC , Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms, Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder, Had emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06.
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 3/13/2010 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Sweet Cat I'm so glad your with your great family and so sorry to hear about the little ones accident ! Thats awful , my goodness that poor little baby .I'm praying she ok , poor thing , I hate to see a child suffer in any way , please let me know how she is ; I'm sorry for moaning like a stupid walrus about my tough luck , I feel embarassed about it now , but last nite I was scared stiff . It still bothers the heck out of me that it has to be so hard but I guess the worst part is that ultimately I am responsible for all of this .I chose to be a drug addict and expose myself to the dangers of HIV and thats why I just can't go in an have surgery , my t-cells are low why ? Because of my choices and decisions .So I'm not only a cry baby , I'm an idiot as well . I think this is what gets to me , and I'm still working on being mature enough to accept the responsibility of my choices without wimping . Sorry Cat and everyone I'm gonna try and delete this post .
HIV+ also Hep c , need hip replacement surgery on hold because of unknown but cellulitus-like ailment  .most pain from hip condition and cellulitus-like ailment .hands numb may have carpal tunnel syndrome now . Great frustration because doctors unable to diagnos ailment              .Medecines - Oxycontin , percocet ,  Celelbrex , lasix .


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 3/13/2010 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
(((((((((Mikel))))))))))). Try to just take things one step at a time. Sometimes looking too far into the future can be overwhelming, especially when we have little control. You are going to get through this. You are stronger than you think.

hugs,
Skeye

Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 3/13/2010 5:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Mikel, you don't ever have to be sorry for anything! Bust out with it! Scream holler, cry like a baby!! It's ok and you are safe to be able to do that!!!! You know that don't you? I hope I have never judged a person in my life and I sure as heck don't have the right to start now! Do you think you're the only person who's ever been addicted to drugs? Man Michael! We are children of the '60/'70's and where were we when ole George was shipping in that grade A coke in the early '80's? I was standing in line! No, I never did the needles and that was because I was a scaredy Cat! My sister, who happens to be a DOCTOR now! was so addicted to heroin she almost died a hundred times! I'm not proud of it, but I can kind of hide it because I didn't contract a couple of really bad diseases! Now really, who was being the cry baby before and staying all into myself knowing full well what that does to a BiPolar, pain riddled idiot! And who was there to hold my hand as I stepped slowly, painfully, fearfully out from under my rock? Oh that would be YOU wouldn't it! Yes, I believe it was and so you go right ahead and cry all you want and I'll be here with my hand out waiting for you to find the footing to step out and feel like you've got a family that loves you and needs you around for a long, darned time. Got it?
Catz/Stacy
I'm called Cat, but as there are few other Cat's on here, I put the number of cats I have and combined it to spell out Catz4
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC , Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms, Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder, Had emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06.
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


JKay
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 3/13/2010 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
We have all made mistakes in the past and that's where they belong. It's OK to vent your frustration when things don't go the way we expect for us, I know I do. I don't think anyone here is judging you. I hope things turn around for you soon. Hang in there.

Jkay
Left pelvic CRP due to botched hysterectomy. Right kidney removed due to cancer.


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 3/13/2010 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
 
 
   Dear Mike,
 
     Good evening. How are you doing tonight? I hope you had some moments to relax, thou I fear I you havnt. I am sorry you have to go through so much, just to be able to walk. Have you been able to find any alternative doctors or insurance carriers? Has anyone, any hospital have any advise or alternative ideas for how you could attain the surgery? Here I am asking a million questions on a weekend night. I'm sorry. I am sure you tried ever possible avenue you could. I am so sorry you have to endure through such impossible obsticles.
 
      You said to me that you cared very much for us, that we were fast becomming your friends.. Is that still true?
 
       ... I hope so. As friends, we want to know about your bad days as much as we want to hear about your good days. It isnt fair that you think we should be sheilded from your bad days. We care for you if you are a "wallrus" , racoon, or the increadibly caring compassionate man that we ALL know you truly are. Did you hear me MR? No deleting, no sheilding us. We have shoulders, very broad ones. We are right here. We dont care if you havnt brushed your teeth or your shined up to a million dollar sparkle. We care. *warm huggs*
 
       Take it one small step at a time. Stay strong!!
 
*hugg*
  dani

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 


MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 3/14/2010 12:23 AM (GMT -7)   
My dearest Stacey and Dani Wow ! you tworeally make me feel like I do have some worth , Stacey I love you like my sister , youare the sweetest friend I have ever had .I feel very fortunate when I read your replies to my posts and the generosity and caring you show me , I am so incredibly grateful for you my wonderful friend you are very special to me thank you so , so much for being you .And Dani you too have the capacity to lift up my heart with your words and your heartfelt caring , I do feel loved and cared for by you thank you , thank you for being whoyou are as well someone special and an inspiration to me . love you both
HIV+ also Hep c , need hip replacement surgery on hold because of unknown but cellulitus-like ailment  .most pain from hip condition and cellulitus-like ailment .hands numb may have carpal tunnel syndrome now . Great frustration because doctors unable to diagnos ailment              .Medecines - Oxycontin , percocet ,  Celelbrex , lasix .


Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 3/14/2010 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
"You're not heavy, you're my brother." I'm here as always and I'm here for anyone else who needs a hand! Just as you are Mikel!
I'm called Cat, but as there are few other Cat's on here, I put the number of cats I have and combined it to spell out Catz4
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC , Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms, Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder, Had emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06.
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


cat8201
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 3/14/2010 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
i agree with all that already said. you cannot punish yourself for your past or anticipate punishments of your future. you are a good person.

ttys, my dear friend

tabatha
27 yrs old-Fibromyalgia; PCOS; Surgery induced Menopause; Classic Migraines with Aura; Neuropathy; Ankylosing Spondylitis w/ narrowing around the spinal cord; Spinal Stenosis of the Cervical & Lumbar Spine; other little things
 
Medications for pain: Oxycontin; Soma **will update when change meds for sleep, etc.
 
Other treatment: Aquatic Therapy (still have to start); Sleep Study (need a sitter)


MsBunky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 3/14/2010 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Mikel, I hope you know just how much you are cared about on these forums. I truly believe we are all one big family and there's lots of love and support to go around to those who need it.

I am praying that you will find all the answers to your problems soon and that something will work out insurance wise regarding your doctor. It's never easy to be patient, but no matter what's happening in your world, good or bad....at least you have us to help you get thru it.

Never, ever be afraid to post what's on your heart. We're all in the same boat and can empathize more than most people. We're here for you...just as you are here for us!

Hugs,
Pam
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pelvic Pain, FAI, Reynauds, IBS, Interstitial Cystitis, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (Surgical Menopause and drug related), plus physically unable to vomit due to Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins...a joy for blood work or IV's)
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vitamin D and Multi-Vitamin daily


Lindaloo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 3/14/2010 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Mikel,

This is the first time I am posting to you. First of all, I want to say, please do not be so hard on yourself. You are a decent human being with feelings and a lot of friends here it seems, which tells me that you are a wonderful person. No deleting or shying away from your feelings. They are all important and we all want to hear them and lend a helping hand if we can. This forum is designed for people just like you and me. We are hurting and need the support of others.

So you vent whenever you want to and share everything you are feeling and please, just take it easy on yourself. There's a lot of love to share. God bless.

Lindaloo
Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
 
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.
 
Linda


MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 3/14/2010 5:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Catz , Cat8201, MsBunky and Lindaloo , thank you all so very much , you are very special people to me , I must tell you , you mean the world to me . Stacey ya know your my sister and i luv ya dearly , and Tabs wow ! we have such a great connection I feel my family is growing and its wonderful ! MsBunky and Lindaloo we don't know each other too well , but your kindness and caring tell me your wonderful people .I hope you all are well and God bless us all , thank you again friends
HIV+ also Hep c , need hip replacement surgery on hold because of unknown but cellulitus-like ailment  .most pain from hip condition and cellulitus-like ailment .hands numb may have carpal tunnel syndrome now . Great frustration because doctors unable to diagnos ailment              .Medecines - Oxycontin , percocet ,  Celelbrex , lasix .


bsjaguar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 3/15/2010 4:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Mikel, like Catz4 said alot of us were right there with you during the drugs, sex & rock n' roll years. Believe me I did plenty of partying in my younger years. Some of us were just lucky not to have been infected with HIV, Hep C, or any of the other diseases we hadn't even considered or heard of. Don't be so hard on yourself for your past.

Just by the contact we share on this forum I can tell that you are a good person and hopefully everything will work out for you. I hope your doctor will be able to come up with a plan to get your numbers into the range you need so you can get the go ahead for your surgery you need so desperately. Keep your head up and remember that you have alot of people rooting for you!!!
---Jag---
 
DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Saturday, December 03, 2016 2:51 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,994 posts in 300,980 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151146 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, LadyCapricorn.
228 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
LindaOZ


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer