It's finally happening

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nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/20/2010 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Due to my chronic illnesses and such, I was put on a 6-month contract at work where I could work at home for approximately half the time as long as I was in the office for about half the time. For the past two months I've been at home about 90% of the time....just because of pain, vertigo, etc. I've just not been able to get there. sad

The 6 months is now up. Has been up for a few weeks now. My supervisor's supervisor told me on the phone on Thursday that she cannot sign another 6-month extension of the same contract because "I've demonstrably proven that I can't keep my end of the bargain".

I work 1/2 time for one team and 1/2 time for another. For one team (instrument support), I can work from home all day long, and my supervisor for that team is totally happy with my work; even as ill as I've been, I've been able to do it from home. The issue is the other team, the scheduling team. To do my work for the scheduling team, I have to be physically present. My boss for scheduling is quite unhappy because the last two times I was assigned to build a schedule, I ended up both times having to hand it off to another person to finish.

I generally have to be there for at least 4 days out of 5 for a couple of weeks straight to get the work done when I'm scheduling, and the reality is that I make it for maybe two days running, then I'm exhausted and my pain level is through the roof.....then I'm toast.

SO......I have purposefully begun taking strong narcotic pain medication just in the past month; I have ordered new glasses (dark-tinted) to help with my vertical double vision (ophthalmologist believes it's due to astigmatisim) and sensitivity to light. I have done these things in an attempt to make it possible to get back to work.....but maybe it's too late! cry

I really wasn't sure how I felt; I thought maybe I was ready to go on disability. But now, since push has come to shove, I know that I want them to give me another chance!

BTW, when I speak of a "schedule", I mean a putting together week-long series of commands to a spacecraft and its onboard instrument. So yeah, we're talking NASA, a billion dollar mission, and all of that. Maybe they shouldn't be entrusting it to me, with my level of brain fog.....? tongue

No, I wouldn't endanger the spacecraft....I would go on disability first. I truly believe I can still do this!!

How do I convince them?? We have a meeting scheduled for Tuesday afternoon, 2pm. Can they force me into medical leave??

Maybe the worst thing that can happen is that they just don't renew my contract to work from home part-time. Then I have to be there everyday.

I don't know the laws regarding these things.

Thanks for any comments or input from anyone out there!
JoAnn
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com

Post Edited (nasalady) : 3/20/2010 8:08:23 PM (GMT-6)


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 3/20/2010 8:14 PM (GMT -7)   
JoAnn,
sorry, I really can't help out much here, except to offer up some support for whatever might be best for you..
Well wishes and finger's crossed for you on Tuesday..good luck
Lots of soft healing hugz
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((JoAnn))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/20/2010 10:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Chartreux, for your kind words and hugs! And for crossed fingers and good wishes too....I will need them! :)

I just re-read what I posted, and something I said bothers me:

"I truly believe I can still do this!!"

I actually have to admit, I don't absolutely, positively believe that I can still do the work. It's more of a hope than a belief. Those strong pain meds and new glasses.....how will they help me with the fatigue, the vertigo, all of the other symptoms I have from all of my various conditions that are always lurking in the shadows or waiting around the corner to sabotage all of my best intentions?

I don't actually KNOW that I can do it anymore....when I'm feeling up, I may believe I can do it, but I no longer know it as I used to. I'm just hoping that they'll still give me a chance. But maybe it would be better if they didn't.....I've had two chances recently and failed both, what if I fail a third time to finish the task set before me? Three strikes and I'm out??

Maybe this thread is just my way of trying to protest what's happening to me....many of you have gone through something similar I'm sure, before you went on disability.

It's part of my personality, I have to admit, that if someone says I can't do something, I immediately want to prove him/her wrong!! That may be part of this too.
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 3/21/2010 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
     Dear NasaLady,
 
     Good morning. I am glad you stopped by. I had wondered how you are doing.How are you pain levels today? I hope they tolerable, enough to relax a bit before the hecktic week starts.
 
     Your work delimma is complex, no doubt about it. One part you can do with flying colors, the other part you are having troubles with physically. I wonder if on Thursday there could some sort of compramise. Would you be able to scale down to just the "schedualing" ? Is it all or nothing? I must admitt were I in your shoes, the decisions you face would worry me aswell. I think, ultimatley, it is up to you to decided what your limitations are physically and what you can accomlish. Nothing wrong with knowing your limitations and adjusting to them so that your life is more comfortable. *hugg*
 
    I do hope you get a chance to realx today. Hope you have a quiet Sunday and get a chance to rest. Stay strong
 
*hugg*
  dani

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 


Stella Marie
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 601
   Posted 3/21/2010 11:01 AM (GMT -7)   
JoAnn,

I am so sorry that all this is happening to you. I went through the exact same thing. I was a medical research cooderinator for all of the projects in specific departments at the Cleveland Clinic. I had a lot of flexibilty because I was not accountable to just one staff member, but rather 10. So it was up to me to prioritize my time. I really loved my job. I was very rewarding.  Finally, it got to the point whereIi was no longer able to travel without tons of special needs. Slowly it became evident to me I was not as competent as before. Once you start narcotics, they do impact your reaction time and functioning. I have to take a short term leave, them a long term leave, and finally disability. I have been on disability for 5 years now and I still miss my job.I feel like the little things I do now are nothing compared to what I use to be able to do. I went into depression after I lost my job permanently.

I do not know what advise to give you. What ever you do, please don't get yourself fired. If you are not able to do this job, can you be reassigned to another one? Would you ever consider part time work? If not, then disability must be considered. It is important that you receive a monthly income to support yourself. If you are fired - you will receive zip. One permanent disability you can support yourself for life.

Another thing to consider is your prognosis. Are you going to get better, worse, or stay the same over time?

This is one of the hardest decisions that you will ever make. Good luck and keep us posted.


Stella Marie   Chronic Pain Forum Moderator

Progressive neurodegenerative disease called Multiple System Atrophy, muscle spasms, muscle pain, neuropathy, & neuropathic pain, central sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, and 2 pain implants – intrathecal pain medication pump and an SCS (spinal cord stimulator).  Extra fun little toys and gadgets; O2 generator and assorted wheelchairs, walkers, canes, and orthotic braces.  Med - too many too list or even care about!

 

 


Post Edited (Stella Marie) : 3/21/2010 12:05:00 PM (GMT-6)


nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/21/2010 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both, Dani and Stella Marie, for your replies. I appreciate your support and good wishes....and hugs! :)

Stella, it sounds as though you lost a very special job....I'm so sorry. You do know what I'm going through.

I'm slowly realizing that what bothers me the most is that I'm not in control of this situation anymore....I can't "fix" it. I'm one of these people who always has to be in control and "fix" things.....or people. Of course, I first learned the hard way that I couldn't fix people....I learned that long ago. But now apparently I can't even stay in control of my own life anymore.

The prognosis thing is difficult...all of my ailments are with me for life, as far as I know, except for the Lyme disease, Babesiosis, and Ehrlichiosis. But apparently I contracted those years ago, and chronic Lyme is extremely difficult to eradicate. My autoimmune diseases and fibromyalgia are all potentially able to go into remission. But there's no telling if they ever will.

Unfortunately if I go down to half time, I get half pay, which won't pay our bills. I did pay for long-term disability insurance through work for the past 12 years, so if I go on disability, I will get a minimum of 2/3 of my normal salary until I'm 65 (which is still several years down the road).

It seems that if they won't let me remain as a full-time employee, I will have to go on disability. sad
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


bsjaguar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 3/22/2010 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   

It is a very trying experience when you have to finally make the decision that you just can't work outside of your home anymore.  When I had to quit working I didn't have the option for long-term disability from my employer, it was just quit with no income anymore, apply for SSDI & wait.

Our lives have changed dramatically since I quit working.  No more yearly trips to Florida for a winter break, watching every penny when grocery shopping and now we use electricity & water sparingly.  It's amazing how much money we wasted before but you will find a way to cut back.

Good Luck with your decision, it is a hard one to come to terms with.


---Jag---
 
DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3


nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/22/2010 12:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the good wishes and advice, Jag....we've been trying for some time now to become more frugal. I've dropped my membership to the club here at the University, and made sure that they stopped deducting for parking from my paycheck now that I can't drive. I told my husband that we can do without the maids; I promised to clean the bathrooms, even if I have to clean the sink, go lie down and rest, then go back to clean the mirror a few hours later!

I'm sure there are other places we can cut back too....we'll find them.

((((((((hugs)))))))))
JoAnn
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


Snowbunny21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3557
   Posted 3/22/2010 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
For me...I only am now looking into disability at my Dr.s suggestion..I wrote on a thread a few weeks ago that he is the one who brought it up after talking with my Neurosurgeon before I got to my appt. He said that after 3 cervical fusions and tumor....and over 9 years of living with chronic pain and going to PM...it was time...

So I am wading through the myriad of paperwork and online reading to submit and go through the process...

Personally...I am just too stubborn to have thought of it!! LOL...so it hit me like a ton of bricks to hear that he and my other Dr. don't think I can handle full time work again with my pain levels..

I've been cutting back for the last few years with the economy the way that it is and it's actually been a blessing in disguise as it lets creativity take over for fun things to do that are inexpensive...I am the queen of finding a bargain and coupons!!! haha....and it has given me more quality time with friends and family:)

So whatever you decide...you will want to have your Dr. behind you 100%...this I am told will make the process go smoothly....

I'm sure it will all work for you in your choice...Take care...sending big hugs your way (( ))
SB and "the pup who snores loudly" 
 
ACDF C5-C7, (no hardware), with autograft bone Nov. 2001
(reabsorption of bone 2 years later...still lost in body..expect to burp it out at anytime..haha")) 
ACDF with hardware, allograft bone Nov. 2005 
Anterior and Posterior CDF, allograft bone with BMP, removal of old hardware, use of titanium plates, rods, screws, & kitchen sink (lol) Dec 2006
 
 


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 3/22/2010 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((JoAnn))))))))))))). Sounds like a really tough situation. Unfortunately I don't have any brilliant advice.

Is there any way that you could drop scheduling and work full time for instrument support so that you could continue to work from home?

hugs,
Skeye

nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/22/2010 10:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much, Snowbunny and Skeye! I appreciate the support and the hugs!!

Unfortunately I asked my boss on instrument support if he needed me full-time and he said he had been trying to think of more tasks I could do so I could be on his team 100% but hadn't been able to come up with much. He said he would keep on thinking, though.

I'll let everyone know what happens tomorrow....

(((((hugs)))))
JoAnn
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/23/2010 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I promised to let everyone know....

I'm now officially on "partial disability". I didn't even know that was possible. But the people at work looked into everything and said I could work from home part-time and be on partial disability (short-term state disability) and they would use my vacation and sick leave hours to make up the difference. So I will (at least for a while) still get my regular paycheck. And get to be home!

I will mostly be working for instrument support, of course, with just a little bit of work for the scheduling team.

It all sounds great, but I don't know how I feel yet about being on disability....part of me feels like this is the beginning of the end and that they're just gently "easing" me out the door towards permanent full-time disability.

But I have to believe, that with all of the prayers going up for me today, that the Lord was in control and this is what was supposed to happen! I'm just having a hard time with acceptance.... :)

Thanks again, everyone, for your support! I do appreciate it!
((((((hugs))))))) to all!
JoAnn
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com

Post Edited (nasalady) : 3/23/2010 11:33:44 PM (GMT-6)


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 3/24/2010 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi JoAnn,

Sounds like it worked out as best it could. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but I'm glad that things will mostly remain the same for you.

hugs,
Skeye

nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 3/24/2010 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
skeye said...

Sounds like it worked out as best it could. I'm sorry that this is happening to you, but I'm glad that things will mostly remain the same for you.

hugs,
Skeye


Thanks for the hugs skeye!

Yes, I think that this was the best of both worlds.....this situation will probably last, at most, about 3 months. Then I'll run out of vacation time/sick leave to supplement my check with and will have to revisit things.

My boss says that I can come back to work full-time if I get a note from my doctor stating that, in his opinion, I'm healthy enough and feeling well enough to be in the office every business day for at least 2 weeks in a row. I don't know.....if my Lyme disease is more "under control" by then, will I feel substantially better? But I will still have six or seven autoimmune diseases plus DDD, so maybe not. I'm clueless. I just don't know what's going to happen!

I guess I could think of it as an adventure.....? smilewinkgrin

((((((((hugs)))))))))
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com

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