Sunday Koffee Klatch ~

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Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 4/3/2010 10:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? Most of us looked up to someone, someone who we wanted to be just like. And more often than not we emulated them and watched their actions so we could model ourselves after their style. It's possible that over time we had several heros in our lives which give us our complex individuality. But if you could name one person from your past who most influenced who you are today, who would that be.

For me it would be my father. May seem a bit strange for a daughter to want to be like my dad and not my mom but that's just how I am. Mom would tell me to 'go out and play' or 'adults are talking so go do something. I don't remember playing with mom. She was a good mother and always there for us but not someone it was easy to get close to. But dad was so different. Anything he was going somewhere he would ask me to go too. I adored my father and we were such good buddies until he took his last breath. The qualities I loved in him were his kindness and outward showing of his love of others. He treated mom like a queen but in her eyes she was just a plain Cinderella...lol Not day though...he saw right through the woman scrubbing floors on her hands and knees and saw his 'forever princess'. Every chance he got he would do something sweet and special just for her. He would bring her small tokens of love, many didn't cost him anything. I always wanted to have a generous heart that my father had and to show others that they are important not only to others but to themselves.

Who was your hero going up?
Chutz smilewinkgrin
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

(\_/)
(o.o)
(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.


Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 4/4/2010 4:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Chutz! And Happy Easter to All!

I was put up for adoption at a very early age, and was split up from my siblings (five of us) It's a long story, but I went from foster home to foster home and a children's home. Was severely abused several times in the process as well.
So as you can imagine, I had developed a very low trust for someone who said that they loved me in life, and in a way still have a problem with this.

I have only found one perfect person in my life, and while I do not follow everyday like I should, I know that I can go to him with any problem that I have. I can not see him or touch him, but he is real to me and millions of others. He is my Hero in life!

My wife and I had a conversation the other day, talking about Mom's and Dad's, and I told her I felt like I had never had that comfort in my life, to where I could go to my father or mother and ask for words of wisdom or the such. To this day, I have never had a person that I thought would wrap their arms around me when things have gone wrong, and say "no mater what, Michael, I will be here for you" I have been my own man, and one to take care of myself, and others, and very rarely accept help from others.

I think that is why my surgery was so hard on me emotionally, because I could not take care of myself at all. I was totally helpless! It was almost like being a baby again in life, dependent on someone else for survival, and it scared me knowing how many people are in life. It is one thing to be cared for because it is someone's job, and quite another to be cared for by someone because they love you. I have met very few people who have told me that they love me, and back it up with action.

I have made some wonderful friends here on Healing Well, and a few of them have backed up their words with action, and I will always be grateful for them in my life. To tell you the truth the list keeps getting longer too!

So to answer the question about who is my Hero in life, I have already stated who he is above, but my Hero list is growing little by little, and I have to say that my Wife has been a Hero of sorts to me, and many of the wonderful members here as well.
For those of you that have come into my life here on the forums, I appreciate you! If you think about it, many of us came here looking for not only answers to our little understood health problem concerning Chronic Pain, but we were looking for companionship as well.

Someone who would understand what we are going through on a daily basis. Many of us have been rejected by our Dr's and family and co-workers, and the list goes on.

In sort of a way we are family here, and this week, I have seen a change in many of the members here and the attitude change to one of a closeness.

In short, I applaud those of you that have reached out to be Hero's in someones life here on Healing Well. Wonderful Job, and I hope you keep it up, as there is always a need. Thank you to all of my Hero's here!

SE
DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) S1-L4-L5, Heart Attack 2002, Angioplasty to clear blocked Artery and to implant Stent. Six Epidurals, Disocgram, Melanoma Cancer 07, Lumbar Fusion March of 2010, Four cortisone injections Tendinitis in Elbow.


MsBunky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 4/4/2010 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I never had any heros when I was younger. I lived a rather different life than most other kids - I had a very dysfunctional family, I was on my own at 15, hitchhiked around the United States illegally at age 17, met a man who turned out to be a pathalogical lier and who abused me physically, mentally, etd., had two kids by him by age 21, blah, blah, blah...way too much info to include here.

My point though is that for a very large part of my life, from childhood to adult, I've taken care of myself. I didn't have good role models and I didn't have anyone to really look up to. I've always had to count on myself to get things done in my life.

It wasn't until I became a Christian in 2001 that I found a hero. I can also say that meeting my husband Ray in 1994 also introduced me to someone I could really look up to ( literally as well - Ray is 6'5" and I am only 5'2"). I also see many many more heros in areas of my life - people who are struggling against the odds in so many areas.

My daughter is almost 27 now, but at the age of 13, she began to really rebel against me and all adult authority. She left home as a teen, lived on the streets, had a baby at 16, was addicted to crystal meth, had another child at 18, and then left the kids with their dad and continued living a wild life. Now, she has been clean for 5 years, she has a delightful 4 year old son, she's been in school fulltime to upgrade her skills and she's just starting a fulltime course to become a Legal Assistant. Ashley is definitely one of my heros!!

My dear friend Charlotte felt a call to go to Cambodia 5 years ago, to volunteer in an orphanage for a month. She fell in love with a 3 month old baby boy who has one normal leg, and genetic amputations of his other leg and both arms. Sam is an amazingly intelligent boy...Charlotte and her husband were able to adopt Sam, bring him home to Canada, and he is the most incredible kid you could ever meet. He finds ways of doing things with his various handicaps, nothing ever stops him, he's super intelligent and cute as a button and he's overcome some amazing odds...he had open heart surgery at age 3, in addition to everything else. He is also my hero.

I spent a lot of time when younger wishing I had someone to look up to and admire...but now, in my late 40's, I realize there are heros all around me whom I can look to for inspiration and hope. Many of them are right here on these boards. I am grateful for the lessons I learn daily and I hope I give back as much as I get from them.

hugs to all,
Pam
Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pelvic Pain, FAI, Reynauds, IBS, Interstitial Cystitis, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (Surgical Menopause and drug related), plus physically unable to vomit due to Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins...a joy for blood work or IV's)
Surgeries: Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT
Medications: Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril, Clonidine plus Vitamin D and Multi-Vitamin daily


Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9622
   Posted 4/4/2010 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
This will be silly, but In the 70's I always like Wonder Woman, she could do anything...
I say this because my dad was a real women's lib hater..I mentioned women's lib once and got smack pretty darn hard.
but the true heros are those serving this country (USA/Military). Thank You
hugz .
**********************************************
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

********>^..^<********>^..^<********>^..^<********


Stac/Catz4
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 358
   Posted 4/4/2010 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow! What a powerful questions with passionate answers! This is amazing Chutz so, thank you for a wonderful Easter Sunday Koffee Klatch. I grew up in a family that from the outside looked perfect, but was far from it. There were 5 of us kids; Mom stayed home and entertained Dad’s clients from all over the world. Our house was the house of “wealthy” people, our clothes were perfection, and we were in church every time the doors were open which being a Southern Baptist, meant they were open a lot! What people didn’t see were dark, nasty, vicious secrets. Dad was a mean and abusive person. Mom was wonderful, but depressed and terribly passive. We were emotionally, mentally, physically and every other type of abused constantly. The one joy of my life and the reason I ended up growing into adulthood sane was my PawPaw. He was my Mother’s father. No, actually he was her STEP father!! Can you believe that? This man came in and raised my Mom and aunt from the ages of 1 and 3 and then loved us as his grandchildren as if we were his own. He was a true hero. He came and got us kids every summer starting the day school was out until a day before we went back. He and my grandmother lived in Texas and we lived in Tennessee, but that trip was made diligently. He taught me to not be afraid of all men, to love, be honest at all costs, to listen to others, to help, to care and tried hard to teach me to trust, but that was burned up in the fire of my childhood. I was 10 years old when very quickly, my PawPaw died of cancer. Oh boy the loss was horrible. I miss him to this day. And then one day years later, I met a man who has always been compared by my sisters and brothers to my Grandfather because their personalities are so alike. I married this man and he is incredible. Being loved by my husband is nothing short of a miracle. People walk by this astonishing human every day and are unaware they have just been in the presence of pure kindness with no measure. He has taught me to begin to trust and that it is o.k. to love and be loved. He took up where my PawPaw left off. I must add my son, Daniel who left his wife, son and new baby girl last year and went to war for all of us. He worked on the U.S.S. Roosevelt which was nicknamed, “The 911 Warship” by the New York Times. Daniel was the last person in the airplane checking the computers just before the pilot loaded and took off to Afghanistan when a distress call came in from our boys being blasted. He earned 2 Naval Achievement Medal’s for going “above and beyond the call of duty”. He’s a special man as well. And to end this, I have to add my “brother” Mikel who is well loved on HW. I have derived such courage, peace and so very much more from him. In a short amount of time, I have found an honest, loving and deeply caring person who I am proud to call friend and family. Oddly, after the horrendous abuse at the hands of my father, my hero’s have mostly been men who saved my life in one way or another and I love them dearly for that.
Catz4
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!
I'm called Cat, but as there are few other Cat's on here, I put the number of cats I have and combined it to spell out Catz4
DXed-Syringomyelia C-1 to T-1, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Type II, IBS, Panic Disorder, ICC , Fibromyalgia, Migraines, Bipolar Disorder, Chronic Muscle Spasms, Torn Rotator Cuff in Left Shoulder, Had emergency surgery for ruptured bowel in '05 w/colostomy and takedown in '06.
Too many meds to name/Too many allergic reactions/sensitivities to too many drugs to name. Meds for Panic Disorder, Pain, Bipolar, IBS, Hypothroidism, Diabetes, Insomnia and then some.
 
 


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 4/4/2010 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Who was your hero going up?
 
   Dear Chutz,
 
     It was book on american poets. A garage sale find. I remember the poem like it was yesterday... It was as if it spoke to me
 
"Phenomenal Woman"
 
 
Pretty woman wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to fit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me...."
 
~Maya Angelou
 (it is much longer)
 
     I found myself searching, everywhere, for everything she had written. Oh I felt just ten feet tall when I read her words. Nothing seemed impossible, every step was one step closer to my dreams. It didnt matter what those around me thought or acted. I had places to go! Maya Angelou is my hero.
 
*huggs*
  dani


 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 

Post Edited (Dani Henson) : 4/4/2010 7:32:25 PM (GMT-6)

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