Depression made me do it!

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Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 4/12/2010 8:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Friends and Family!
Some of you good people know me and some of the newer members may not but in light of what has happend here over tha past couple of weeks and the remarkable heartfelt posts I just read by Chutz & S.E. I think that I owe my "peeps" an explanation and appology for my rude behavior and abrupt exit!!

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a very bad place, those of you who have known me for a while may remember how I am susseptable to some pretty bad spells of depression. When this happens, I am not myself and I sometimes do or say things that that reflect my doom & gloom mentallity. This time I said that I was not going to be posting here anymore. Truth be known and some of the "old timers" can attest to this, it's not the first time I've said this! When I'm in these dark places, I seem to read into things that are actually nothing and blow things out of proportion in my own mind. After I pull myself out of these awful mindsets and somehow clear my head of the crazyness I start to realize how wrong I was and how I let the littlest things really get to me! No one knows this better than my poor wife who somehow has managed to stay with me for over 30 years of my crazy spells!!! I love this place and the people in it and I don't want to leave. I hope you all will accept my appology and let me go back to scratching some backs and getting my back scratched just like old times. I need this place more than it needs me, Y'all have helped me through some mighty tough times in the past. I promiss to try my best to not offend anyone w/ my sometimes off color humor. I know it too gets out of control sometimes!!!

My new doc> (another story) wants me to start a new antidepression drug called Pristiq but at $170.00 a month w/ insurance, I don't think so! Maybe she can think of something a little cheaper untill or if my SSD ever gets aproved which is a big part of my problem these days!! She has also changed my meds around a little and added some which I think may be helping w/ the constant pain! I like her and think I'm finally headed in the right direction!

I guess thats about all for now, I'll be seeing Y'all around!

Your Friend,

Pete

fatherjohn
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 999
   Posted 4/12/2010 9:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Pete you the man! I know we have talked about the depression issue that we both face and it is difficult to climb out of those holes. It seems that the holes get steeper and the walls higher as we go though this wonderful life. It is always good to hear from you and my wife is telling me to go fishing. You and I have both been around long enough to know that we are our worst enimies and when we get the fog cleared out it is not easy to face the reality. But you are ok and a good friend. Blessings!!!

edt
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 4/12/2010 9:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Ahhh Pete,

We LOVE your posts and would miss you terribly.....glad you've decided to staytongue

Keep SMILING and POSTING!!

XXOO
Patti


bsjaguar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 4/13/2010 12:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Pete, is there anyway you could get some assistance with paying for the new anti-depressant your doc has recommended? My pm doc has given me discount cards for several of my meds which have a high co-pay, without them I wouldn't be able to use them. I know that with your wife working it may place you over the income amount required by the drug company itself for discounts but maybe the drug rep could get something for your doctor to use. It wouldn't hurt to ask the drug rep that visits your doctor.

Haven't heard a peep from SSDI yet but will let you know if I do!
---Jag---
 
DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3


flower123
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 4/13/2010 2:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Pete,

I have been trying to post more. I am glad that you're not leaving. I was actually going to create a post asking where you were!

I'm sorry that you're having problems with depression.

:)

Flower

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2022
   Posted 4/13/2010 3:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Petey, it's so good to hear from you my friend. I understand as I have been in those dark dark, days and it is so difficult. You post whenever you can, I will not judge you. I love you for who you are. Come back and tell us more when you are up to it. I was wondering on how the eye situation was going??
Please rest and take care of yourself as that is what is important right now and nothing else!!!! JUst YOu my friend!!

Big HUgs
   
SUZANE
      
 Chronic, severe and continuous bilateral temporal headaches since April 2000.
 Poor prognosis, seen thousands of doctors, been on dozens of meds and tried all forms of treatment with no success.
 Currently Feb 2010: cycles of IV Ketamine infusion via a PICC line and pump at home with some success.
 Meds: oxycodone for breakthrough, cymbalta, vitamin D, B12, magnesium, omega 3, melatonin
 Profession: Part time registered nurse on Long term disability and applying for permanent disability thru CPP
 52 yrs old, female, married, two boys 19 & 21, live in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
 
           


ekkorose
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 4/13/2010 5:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Pete,

Just want to say Hi and say Pristiq has made a world of difference to me. Not only are my mood swings less chaotic but it even helps with some of the nerve pain in my neck! Ask your doc for the coupons or go to their website and see if the promo for 6months of help is still available.

Take good care of yourself my friend,

Sarrah

Hysterectomy at 25 : 4 laproscopic surgeries since 24

Cervical Stenosis between C 2 and C6 and two bulging disks located C2/3 and C4/5

Meds - percocet  3x day : Methadone 10mg 1x day :Amrix 15mg 1x day: Pristiq 50mg 1x day

____________________________________________

In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. ~Thomas Szasz 


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 4/13/2010 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   
 
  Dear Pete,
 
     I am glad you stopped by! *warm hugg* I do hope I get to see more of you. And don't worry about getting the Blues shakehead  My only regret is that I want able to help while it had its hold on you. I have been going out of my way to fend off a case of the blues myself! When it rains.. it pours. But, what matters is, you are here now! ..also, in case you havnt noticed we like to hear from you if your grumpy, mad, sad, happy, elated, excited or have a horrible case of the blues. We like you just the way you are friend!
 
     Is it just me? Or are some of these new meds the price of a small country? Sheesh. I hope you can find an alternative med. 170 is waaay to much of a burdon to pay! But, I am so glad you found a doctor you like. Now that is great news :-)
 
     I hope you have a moment or two to put your feet up!
 
*hugg*
   dani

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

 

 


bluejet2
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 487
   Posted 4/13/2010 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pete:

I am sorry that you have been having such a rough time with depression, and I hope that your doctor is able to find a medication that works that doesn't require you robbing a bank to pay the copay.

Hang in there!

Lorie

nasalady
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 1176
   Posted 4/13/2010 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Pete, I'm so glad you decided to stay with the forum! As I said, we all need each other, and so we need you! I understand depression and being in a dark place.....I will not judge you for that!

((((((((hugs))))))))
JoAnn
Lyme Disease, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, AIH, Hashimoto's, lupus, fibro, RA, celiac disease, asthma, psoriasis, Raynaud's, hypertension, osteopenia, sleep apnea, RLS, GERD, DDD, L3-4 and L4-5 radiculopathy -> severe lower back pain, cubital tunnel, tarsal tunnel, Doxycycline, Zithromax, Prednisone, Imuran, Plaquenil, Lyrica, Cymbalta, Levothyroxine, Atenolol, Cozaar, Zyrtec, Fosamax, Albuterol, Prilosec, CPAP

autoimmunediseasesgfliving.blogspot.com


Snowbunny21
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 3557
   Posted 4/13/2010 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Pete,

So glad to see you posting again...I am pretty new here the last few months and from what I have read from all the old postings..you have certainly gone through so much pain and ups/downs with your treatments/meds..

I do know that Pfizer has a program for those who can't afford their meds so you can check on their website...as well as maybe ask the Dr. for samples as well...

Welcome back and hope to get to know you better:)
SB and "the pup who snores loudly" 
 
ACDF C5-C7, (no hardware), with autograft bone Nov. 2001
(reabsorption of bone 2 years later...still lost in body..expect to burp it out at anytime..haha")) 
ACDF with hardware, allograft bone Nov. 2005 
Anterior and Posterior CDF, allograft bone with BMP, removal of old hardware, use of titanium plates, rods, screws, & kitchen sink (lol) Dec 2006
 
 


skeye
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 4/13/2010 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Pete,

Glad to see you back. I just started Pristiq a little over a month ago. So far I haven't noticed any benefit, but nor have I notice any side effects. I'm going to give it some more time. It's so hard when you're fighting both depression and chronic pain.

hugs,
Skeye

Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 4/13/2010 8:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey! This looks like a Petey Reunion! :)

You are one lucky man! Friends everywhere, and support as far as you can see! Pete, we are so glad that your back, as you have been missed.
Lets hope the new meds level out your outlook, and make your days brighter!

I just took a shower, so keep your big sweaty man hug to yourself at the moment! :)

Hey, I had a friend who lived in a town there in Florida called "St Pete" Surely there is not a city down there named after you, is there? :)

SE :)
DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) S1-L4-L5, Heart Attack 2002, Angioplasty to clear blocked Artery and to implant Stent. Six Epidurals, Disocgram, Melanoma Cancer 07, Lumbar Fusion March of 2010, Four cortisone injections Tendinitis in Elbow.


Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 4/14/2010 5:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Deer Friends & Fams,
Thank All of Y'all for your warm welcome back and understanding. I love you all! CP and depresssion unfortunately affect more than our our bodies, they play w/ our minds and sometimes cloud the way we think. Who would understand this better than my peers here who live with the same issues every minute of their lives> Dr's, meds, exams, tests, paperwork, troubled relations w/ family & friends who just don't get it, sleepless nights and the reality that it just ain't gonna get much better! I know I've only scratched the surface but I think everyone knows where I'm coming from.

Well, my Uro's office just called. I was scheduled to get my "little friend" scoped at 11:00am at a surgical center about 20 miles away. He wants to see why I have to pee so often and will probably "diolate" my urethra due to scare tissue from my prostate cancer surgery> OUCH! They said they are running ahead of schedule and could I come in now? Since it is one of my favorite procedures>NOT! I think I'll go get it over with! So I'll have to cut this short. I wanted to thank you all individually but it will have to wait!

Hugs, Prayers & Love coming acha!

Your friend always>

Pete
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