Sorry to dump but...

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 5/2/2010 11:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I need to begin by apologizing for forgetting the Sunday Koffee Klatch. It just blew by me until tonight when I sat down to do the one for Monday. I've been at my limit for pain the past few days. With the medications I take I can usually get through one way or another. But these past few days the pain has just ramped up like crazy. The barometer has dropped a lot and a storm front is upon us so that doesn't help the arthritis in my neck. Jeez...I sound like my grandmother.

For those not familiar with fibromyalgia, which is what I have, it's chronic muscle pain 24/7. No specific cause, no cure and treatment is sketchy. It also messes with your memory, often your gut and many people with fibro have clinical depression. There's fibro in a nut shell. I'm sharing this not for sympathy but to explain what it is.

One other thing that's really bothered me lately also is the memory loss that comes along with the fibro. It's humiliating when I can't remember what just came out of my mouth or someone else's for even 3 seconds! But it's also frightening.

I don't often dump my pain and misery anywhere but the pain is breaking my spirit. I know I will get through this as I have before. I just needed to get it out. Hubby says it's fine to complain and share when I'm hurting but everyone has their limit. Who wants to hear that all the time. He's a wonderful man and I'm so lucky to have found him.

OK, enough of this pity party. Thanks for listening.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Ahhh, Chutz, I'm sorry for your extra pain... and everything else. I really am. I can so relate to all you shared... and I know there are just times when it wears you down... definitely.

I have the memory loss component, too, and I often just laugh it off... and say "oh, you know my memory"... but it's rough, I know. My mom was asking me today what we did yesterday... and for the life of me - I couldn't recall something that happened less than 24 hours ago... this happens each and everyday in some aspect...

Anyway, I'm glad you shared all of this here... I really am. It's a chance for others to give you the support and love that you give so freely to others each and every day :)

Thinking of you... and hoping that your pain will lessen soon.
Love, Tina
Main Health Problems: Dysautonomia/POTS; CFS/Fibromyalgia; Severe Chronic Hypertension; Hypothyroidism; Hypoadrenalism; Mixed (Obstructive/Central) Sleep Apnea - on Auto BiPap; Depression/Anxiety; Severe Vitamin D Deficiency

Pain Issues: Cervical/Thoracic back pain (they called it DDD...but I don't know); migraines; carpal tunnel syndrome; widespread joint/muscle pain, nerve pain in hands/arms/feet; Future Plans: Intrathecal Pain Pump; already completed trial (Sept, 2008); awaiting my decision for implantation...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 5/3/2010 4:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry that you're having more pain. I know what fibro is, but you actually gave a better description of it than all of the articles that I have read. I know there are trigger points, but I actually didn't realize that it was constant muscle pain. I have muscle pain too. It's terrible.

It's great that you have such a supportive hubby. I hope that your pain levels go down soon. You are such an amazing support here. Don't apologize for the Koffee Klatch! Thank you for all that you do.

I hope that you get relief soon.



Retired Mom
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 5/3/2010 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Chutz,
You post sounded so much like me a few months ago that I felt compelled to write to you.
I have fibro...have for many long years....and deal with it like everyone else.  Ultracet is the best for fibro pain bar none for me (and I know it is a very weak med), but the properties of the med have some strange effect on the fibro.
What was so important that you mentioned was the memory.  I thouhgt my memory problem was 100% fibro, but it wasn't.
If you have time, look up adult human growth hormone deficiency and see if the symptoms look familiar.  I know they did for me, but I had never even heard of it until I went to the DR and he caught it.  It's an easy test and my memory has improved amazingly over the last 3 or 4 months.  I can honestly say that I will take the shots forever (despite some side effects) because my mind is back!  My IQ had gone from a 130's to 94 (NO JOKE) and that was done by social security.  I swear I wasn't even trying to make it lower.
Please check this out.  I really hate to see you suffering so!
Fibro is painful, exhausting, depressing, and least of all unpredictable.  I can send you a virtual hug (which I never do), but physical ones arfe often too painful to give or receive.  I know you understand.
I hope things get better soon.
Retired Mom

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 974
   Posted 5/3/2010 6:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Chutz, I hope the weather settles down soon so you can start feeling better. Maybe retired mom is on to something for you to check out. Have you tried the so called fibro miracle drugs such as Lyrica or Neurontin? These can really mess with a persons head. I started a post regarding Low Dose Naltrexone. This may also be something interesting for you considering your list of ailments. I'll be wishing the best for you!!!
DDD, osteoarthritis, facet syndrome, fusion surgeries C-5/7 & L-4/5 both in 2006, torn meniscus surgeries left knee 2000 & 2002, buldging disc L-2/3

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 773
   Posted 5/3/2010 6:38 AM (GMT -6)   


I am so sorry you are having a rough time.  Every one here can relate to what you are going through!

We appreciate everything you do for take some YOU time and feel better soon!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 5/3/2010 6:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Chutz , your husband is right , but you already knew that , we are totally here for you to vent whatever you need to .Its much better out than in , tension will leave you as well when you vent your frustrations , so please feel at home doing this here .You've been here a lot longer than I , and you know this is what makes this forum special , sympathy , empathy and just caring .I'm very glad you decided to get some of it out but I feel theres more there , don't hold back , your among a family of friends , we care about you . Mikel P.S. Got my ribbon ! Thanks ! FEEL BETTER SOON !!!

HIV+ , Need hip replacement , have a cellulitus like condition on leg that is stubborn , using anti-biotics to try to get rid of but its stubborn .Started eating completley healthy juicing every day , no sugar , taking vitiamins and anti-oxidents , virigin coconut oil ,only veggies and fruits mostly , no red meat .feel better.Meds:viracept truvada,indothemicin. Pain from hip and leg use cane or rolator to walk .                                                                                                                 

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 5/3/2010 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
  Dear Chutz,
     Good morning! *hugg* I hope you were able to get atleast a little rest last night. How are you pain levels this morning? I do hope they have improved, but I fear they havnt. I am so sorry you are being battered by the constant pain.
     I understand about the memory. Mine has been terrible, but only since last fall. For me what helps the most..well, for schedual keeping. Is MSN. My husband set up a premium account and in a list on the right hand side of any/all web page I open it has date, appointments and times for the day, and last 5 emails recieved. The bottom in small print is tomorrows schedual. I also use a "house" schedual that is large monthy with family schedual for each day. Stays near the entrance. Then weekly on the fridge. It was frustraiting to get used to the system... but, it helps alot. Now if I could just remember what task I was in the middle of or what time it is without looking at my watch or asking a zillion times Id be good!
     I hope your pain levels get to where you can atleast rest a little. I am so sorry you have go through horrible pain levels. You are in our hearts here and always in our prayers.



Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood



Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9607
   Posted 5/3/2010 12:36 PM (GMT -6)   
I kinda figured you might be feeling poorly, sure Hope you get a low pain day soon,
sure is lousy that the weather can make us achy....
Lots of soft hugz and go and rest up...
* Asthma, Allergies, Osteoarthritis, Spinal Stenosis, Degenative Disc (Lower Lumbar S1-L3 and Cervical C5,C6, C8 and T1), Fibromyalgia, Gerd,
Enlarged Pituitary Gland, Sjogren's, Ocular Migraines, mild carpel tunnel, ect.... "Would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2261
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Chutz
I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain.  I hope it lessens really soon.  Please don't' apologize for "dumping".  That's what we're here for.  To support you as you support us.  You do so much for us.  We want to be here for you too.  I totally understand the memory problem.  I've had it for years even though I don't have fibromyalgia.  I may have inherited it from my mom.  She has a bad memory.  I couldn't tell you what happened yesterday other than the pain that I was having.  I don't know what causes mine.  I sure do understand how frustrating it can be.  I have a planner that I keep beside me on the couch that I put appointments, birthdays, etc. in.  Dani has a really good idea with all the helps that she uses.  I'm sorry that the fibro messes with your memory like it does.  Please don't hold back on posting at all.  We're here for you.  You take care and try to get some rest.  (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Dx:  ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, hypothyroidism, typeII diabetes, asthma, allergies, high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, PTSD, depression, anxiety

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 492
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
((((((((((Chutz)))))))))) Its ok we all goes through that. I can relate I have been having increased back pain over the weekend and weather. I hope your pain lessens soon.
im dxed with  herniated discs,fibromylagia , scolosis,ddd,athritis, spinal stenosis , spinal blockage ,gerd,gastric ulcer (2008), pernicous anemia , folic acid anemia and gallbladder removal 3/23/10.
meds: Ambien, prilosec otc,  ibuprofren,Ultracet, folic acid , b12 injections, zyrtec and benadryl.
Just added : folic acid supplement  1 mg a day for the next year and also b12 injections increased to once a month. pernicous anemia and  Folic acid anemia.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 5/3/2010 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Good Morning Chutz,

Thank you so much for sharing with us - your family - about your struggles with the extra pain you're dealing with. As a fellow Fibromite, I can certainly sympathize with what you're going thru. More than that though, I'm thankful that you, as a leader in this group, felt comfortable enough to share with us what was going on.

You don't always have to be the strong one here Chutz. I know you like to "mom" everyone and look out for us, but you certainly need the support as well. Please don't hesitate to reach out when things are harder than usual. We want to be here for you as much as for anyone else.

I hope you find some comfort soon and begin feeling somewhat more "normal". Please know we are all thinking of you and sending good thoughts and healing prayers your way. I can appreciate your fear with the memory loss, so I hope that you find some improvement there as well.

Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Femoralacetabular Impingement (CAM and Pincer), Reynauds, IBS, Interstitial Cystitis, Surgical Adhesions, Ophthalmic Migraines, Severe Hot Flashes (both Surgical Menopause and medication related), plus physically unable to vomit due to the Nissen, and I have extremely tiny veins with a lot of scar tissue...a joy when it comes to having to give blood or get an IV started

Surgeries:[ Appendix, Uterus, Nissen Fundoplication for GERD, Left Ovary, Gallbladder, Right Ovary, TVT

Medications:Oxycontin, Tramacet, Cymbalta, Flexeril, Clonidine and Cesamet, plus Laxaday, Vitamin D and a Multi-Vitamin daily

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/3/2010 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad you shared how you were feeling with us. Like someone said, you don't have to be the "strong" one here - isn't that the problem many of us create for ourselves (I wonder)? And you know better than most that we can't rely on just one or two people in our lives (like family) to listen or we'll wear them out. That's why we're here!

So share away, lady! I wonder about memory problems, too, and i don't have fibro. I wonder how much is meds for many of us, as well as just the darned stress of CP over years and years and years. I think that stress is something that gets to us all emotionally and physically and does far more damage than the doctors even realize.

You said you were sounding like your grandmother. Sometimes I think many of our grandmothers were healthier than we are. No kidding. But I sure relate to feeling like I'm 80 or more and not a healthy 80 year old that's for sure.

And I think we all should become weathermen/women. Might as well get paid for the skills we're developing at predicting weather fronts, barometric changes, etc.

I hope you're soothing yourself as much as possible.

And you're not dumping. shakehead You're sharing. yeah



Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 5/3/2010 7:44 PM (GMT -6)   
((((((((((((Chutz))))))))))). We all need to vent now & then -- what better place to do it! That's what we are here for!

I don't know too much about fibro, but it sounds like an awful disease. I can't imagine having such widespread pain all the time. I know that fibro isn't taken as seriously by some doctors as it should be (although that's changing), hopefully in the near future it will become a more widely recognized and studied disease, so that they can come up with some new treatments.

In the mean time, hang in there (I know, that is sooo much easier said than done)! Cuddle with your puppy! My animals always help me to feel better, or at least smile, when I'm hurting and/or feeling down.

I hope you are feeling better tonight! You are in my thoughts & prayers!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 1713
   Posted 5/3/2010 10:50 PM (GMT -6)   

My fibro sister. You know I love ya. Take it easy , take care and feel better. And thanks for all you do for everyone! God bless.

Co-Moderator Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia Forums
Believe in yourself.  Be kind to fellow humans and animals.  Take time to smell the flowers and the coffee.
And by all means, when you are down, ask me for help.  I will be there.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 5/3/2010 11:04 PM (GMT -6)   
I love you all and appreciate your sweet comments! You have me right...I do feel like a mother hen and hate to vent on anyone. But that's not a healthy thing for me either. It's the role I've had for so many years in our family, the strong one who everybody turns to and it's not easy changing. But because of all of you I'm giving it a try and I will succeed. Normally I wouldn't have said a thing but I got up my courage and started typing. It does feel good to know others are listening and caring.

Loves to you all!
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein

(> <) Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, PTSD, UC, Diabetic on insulin, collapsed disk, arthritis scattered around and a few other delights.

White Beard
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3602
   Posted 5/4/2010 12:10 AM (GMT -6)   

PALady has it right it is right, you are not dumping you are sharing! I do know the feeling about problems with memory, I have it to! Can't remember names, people or things that I know, but it escapes me, or setting something down and can't rember where I put something! Went to visit an old friend and for got my cane! I never forget my cane! Never Ever!! Chutzie it is just plain scary and very unnerving! So I know what you mean, my Doc said it could be partly from the pain meds????? I sure hope so! I don't know about you Chutz, but memory loss and all that, always makes me think of Alzheimer's and that just scares the day-lights out of me!!!! Not a comfortable thought when you suffering in terrible pain is it! You are not alone here Chutz, You have been there for me and helped me through some very difficult times, and you are always helping someone, I am here just like everyone else, and we are here for YOU! So share with us and let us in some way share your burden and lighten your spirit!

Peace be with you my friend!

White Beard

Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 5/4/2010 8:55 AM (GMT -6)   

Chutz, I don't know how I missed your post, but wanted to say, you have always been a pillar of strength here on the forum, always giving. I have mentioned several times that our moderators too, have health issues.

Please take care of yourself, and I hope that you get to feeling better soon.

   SE :)


DDD (Degenerative Disk Disease) Heart Attack 2002, Angioplasty to clear blocked Artery and to implant Stent. Six Epidurals, Disocgram, Melanoma Cancer 07, Lumbar Fusion L4-L5,L5 S1 March 5th 2010, Four cortisone injections Tendinitis in Elbow.

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