Post Edited By Moderator (Chutz) : 6/11/2010 11:27:23 PM (GMT-6)
Before I left New Mexico, I had cried because I didnt want what I was experiencing to be the new level 10. Even after it kept going for over a month my eternally hopefull brain was hoping and praying that it wasnt what the new "10" would be. But, now it is obvious. This is the new 10. My spine is redicliously damaged. My hip cant keep up with the multiple curvatures and uneven weight from the deformity. My knees just can't handle this any more.
I wish there were someway to stop my deformity from progressing. Something other than a 5 figure surgical procedure which come with the need of home service, child care and home health aid for 6mo.. .....that I have absolutly no hopes of ever being able to attain in my life time. Also, will do me no good to hop aboard the pitty train. I mean really, where do I get off thinking I am so deserving of a mircle of that magnitude anyway? My children are healthy and happy, that is more than I could hope for. Just keep my perspective clear. One foot in front of the other. Let the peices of life fall where they may.
Ive wasted far too much time crying today. I am glad I am the only one here right now. Just gotta breathe and pray for a better day tomorrow.
Post Edited By Moderator (Chutz) : 6/11/2010 11:17:49 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (skeye) : 6/11/2010 8:45:11 PM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (Chutz) : 6/11/2010 11:19:59 PM (GMT-6)