OH NO...I can't handle this!!!

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mama6
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Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/12/2010 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I just got off the phone with my mom. She lives in California..so about 2100 miles away. She used to work at a mental health facility when I was growing up. One day she went to check on a patient, no one told her the patient was coming off Lsd. My mom was beat nearly to death by the patient. It ruptured her disk, broke her back, she can't move her head or kneck. 20 years, and over 18 surgeries later she still fights to be independent. She was a very angry mom after her injuries and well life wasn't always fun at our house. Over the years though, we have became so close again, that we talk 5-6 times a week. She is so supportive of my family and makes the long painfull journey out here every 1-2 years to see us. She even moved out here to take care of my youngest when she was born so she wouldn't have to go into daycare.
cry  ok, so she found out she has breast cancer. They don't know how bad it is yet...she has to have a biopsy on the 24th to find out if it has spread. Oh my God, I don't know what to do for her. I am in so much pain and waiting for my new dr. app, and don't want to worry about me. First thing after she told me she said how is your pain? What can i do for you. I want to cry but haven't yet. I'm so scared. I just had to share with you since you have been so supportive. cry shakehead Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2022
   Posted 8/12/2010 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Heather, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you have so much going on. Your pain and now your mom. I am very close with my mom and I can't imagine being so far away from her. She is only one hour away and I worry if something happens that I won't get there on time. So I can certainly feel for you, how difficult this must be to be so far away from her. And she certainly has had a difficult life herself. We are here for you Heather and we'll support you in any way we can. Keep posting and giving us updates. Prayers going out to you and your mom and family.
 
hugs
One day at a time!!

SUZANE

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/12/2010 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Suzane. That trully means so much to me. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

Blessedx8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3193
   Posted 8/12/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Heather,

I'm sorry to hear this news.. :( I'll say a prayer for you and your mom... especially that they find that it's something they can deal with and that it hasn't spread. Please let us know what happens when she has her biopsy.

Until then, hang in there... I know that you are going to worry no matter what - that's your mom! But I pray your pain will lessen, somehow, someway. And remember we are here to listen and support you.

--Tina

Screaming Eagle
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 5005
   Posted 8/12/2010 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Heather, I too am so very sorry to hear of this bad news about your mother. Yes, timing could not be worse, as you are struggling with your own health.
Please encourage your mother to join us here so that we can support her as well. Lets pray that the outcome will be one, that will continue to draw, both you and
your mother even closer together.

We are here for you anytime! All of us here! Just holler, when you want to talk. Please join us in chat tonight if you can as well.

Take care, and Thank You for your taking the time to respond to me in your other post.

You is Family now!

SE
"Respect your fellow human being, treat them fairly, disagree with them honestly, enjoy their friendship, explore your thoughts about one another candidly, work together for a common goal and help one another achieve it."

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/12/2010 5:28 PM (GMT -7)   
SE and Tina,
I appreciate your support. It is tough. I think I am in shock. For some reason(naive mainly) I never thought my mom. She has suffered enough. I will invite her SE, I hope she will join. Thank you, Have a good evening. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/12/2010 6:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Heather,
I am sorry about your mother and all that you are worrying about at this time. Timing can be such a horrible thing! If you need anything, support, or even a voice to talk to, we are here.
 
I will be sending good thoughts your way for you and your mother.
 
Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, and adhesions.

momtofourangels
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 2261
   Posted 8/12/2010 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather.  i know I haven't introduced myself, but I still want you to know that I will be praying for you mom and you and your family.  Take care.
 
love and hugs
Loretta
Dx: osteoarthritis, bursitis in left hip,  ddd, spinal stenosis, bone spurs, hypothyroidism, typeII diabetes, asthma, allergies, high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, PTSD, depression, anxiety

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/12/2010 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Monty's Mom and Loretta,
Thank you for your well wishes and kind thoughts for my mom. This is a big reason why I continue to come to this site. For your unconditional support. Gentle hugs sent to all of you, my dear friends. I wish you all a pain free evening. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

golitho
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 8/12/2010 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather, sorry to hear about your Mom, it doesn't sound fair to have breast cancer on top of her own injuries and conditions!!! I know life isn't fair, but wow thats alot on her plate.
Just keep rnging her and letting her know you're there for her. That will be a huge support for her while she is going through this worrying time. You can't do more while you're still unsorted for your own pain. Its hard when you're mom is ill , you're so used to her being there for you all the time, hard to reverse roles emotionally. For both of you.
I really hope this new rheumy sorts you out properly and gets your pain under control. I had to see a mixture of doctors to get mine sorted but they are all in agreement now.
Goodluck with everything, golitho

damouthy1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 663
   Posted 8/13/2010 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I know it must be horrible. I lost my Mom in 2004 and still miss her so much each day, especially right now with everything I am going through I just want my Mommy. I wanted you to know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers and as hard as it is please take care of you through all of this. Take care.
Gentle>

Shannon




Fibromyalgia, Chronic daily headaches, Migraine disorder (with and without aura), Possible Graves Disease, GERD, High blood pressure, Depression and Anxiety


Oxycontin, Lopressor, Lexapro, Omeprazole, Valium as needed, Promethazine as needed for nausea from migraines

straydog
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 13481
   Posted 8/13/2010 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather, I too am very sorry to hear this news, how awful. But, please keep in mind fighting breast cancer today and beating the odds is much better than years ago. I have several friends including a sister that are breast cancer survivors. As hard as it may be sound but for now the best thing you can do is be as positive and upbeat as possible when talking with your mom. I am sure right now she is in a state of shock. My sister said she went numb for days when hers was found. You and your family are in my prayers.

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/13/2010 8:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Golitho,
You are right it is such a weird position to be in , needing to be the support person. I guess I kind of have taken it for granted that she had dealt with such horrible things in the past that she would be cut a break on this one. Thank God she is such a strong woman. I admire her so much for that. I am glad you finally found Dr.'s that are taking care of you! I don't know why it has to be so difficult to just get the treatment we deserve.It just shouldn't be so difficult to get help.I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Thank you for your support.
Shannon,
I am so sorry about your mom.It is so difficult and trying, to have all of the issues so many of us have, as it is. That is how I feel.... I want my mommy right now, but I know what she is going through is so much more serious than mine. She always wants to make sure that me and my sisters are ok,first.I know that's what good moms do. Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers. I have passed them along to her. It all made her cry tears of happiness. She says it means so much to her that I have been able to connect to people that" get it" and support you no matter what.... I agree.
Straydog,
That you for uplifting my spirits. I have read a lot in the last 24 hours about how far they have came in the fight against breast cancer. I hadn't even realized some of it.I am trying to stay as strong as possible without crying. When she and I talk anytime if one of us cries the other does. So I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip.My mom is in a state of shock, right now. She can't believe it..I'm sure no-one can when they are going through it. I am so happy for you that your friends and sister are survivors..I look forward to adding my mom to that list. Take care to all of you who posted. I needed your support and you all have been so warm and understanding. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's 8:00 in Cali. right now so I am gonna get off here and go call my mommy. Goodnight. A pain free one I hope. Heather
 
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

White Beard
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 3611
   Posted 8/13/2010 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Heather
I am sorry to hear about your mom.  But they have come a long way in the fight against breast cancer, and the odds of surviving it are getting better an better evey day! One thing that is very very important is to have a positive attitude, from the sounds of it, your mom is a real fighter, and survivor, and it takes that attitude to conquer this! So be brave and strong for her and give her all the positive encouragement that you can muster, she will need that and she will need you to be strong for her. You have all our support, so pass that along to your mom, and it willl all work out OK!  You be there for your mom and we will be here for YOU!
 
May Peace be with YOU and also your MOM!!!
 
White Beard
Moderator Chronic Pain
After spending nearly 22 1/2 years in the USAF, I retired in Sept, 1991. I then went back to school and became a licensed RN in 1994, and I worked on Oncology and then a Med Surg Unit, I became disabled in late 1999 and was approved SSD in early 2002!-- DDD, With herniated Disk at T-12 and L4-5. C5-C6 ACDF in Sep 2009, C6-C7 ACDF in Mar 1985, Osteoarthritis, Ulcerative colitis, Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Complex Sleep Apnea, and host of other things to spice up my life!(NOT!) Medications:Oxycontin, Percocet, Baclofen, Sulfasalazine, Metoprolol, Folic Acid, Supplemental O2 at 3lpm with VPAP Adapt SV I am White Beard with a White Beard!

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/14/2010 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   

 

  Dear Heather,

     I really hope you mother can begin treatment immediatly. I can tell you are worried to no end *hugg* I wish I understood the mother - daughter dynamic, but I dont. I just hope more than anything that you are doing okay. I worry what all the stress and "what ifs" is doing to you! Please remember to take a few moments for yourself. You will need all the strength you can muster in the comming days. Please, know you and your mother are in our prayers here.

*warm hugg*
     dani


 
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
 
Chronic Pain Moderator

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/15/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
White Beard,
I just got off the phone with my mom and she seems to be holding up ok. My little sisters took her out last night for a girl night. I gues they went to see a miovie..long story short the movie encouraged living in the moment and not taking anything for granted..so my mom took that away from it and plans on going and doing some fun things this week. She doesn't want to think about the breast surgeon on the 24th. Off course she wanted me to call as soon as I know something from the Rhuemy this friday. Thank you so much for your support!!
Dani,
I appreciate all the support you are giving me, with everything you are going through. My mother and I definetly have been theough some trying times. It has taken a lot of work on both of our parts to get to the point we are at, but I am so thankfull that we are. The stress the last couple of days(I'm being selfish now) has been unreal. Almost to much to handle. I have barely slept, and can't talk to her without choking up. I just have to keep reminding myself that I can't change anything right now. I read the messages from you guys and it reminds me to stay strong. I am so gratefull for that. Thank you.
Pebbles,
I am so happy that your sister is one of the survivors. That gives me more hope than you know. I know my mother is a fighter too..It worried me more because she sounded almost like she had given up. I read all the messages to her from everyone here. She broke down and said she would fight hard and not give up. Then my older kids called her all on their own and told her how proud they were to have her as their grandma. Because she never lets life and its challenges get her down. I think she needed all of the encouragemnt..because yesterday before she went out she was in much better spirits. Thank you for always giving me such hope and support. Take care.
 
Thanks again to everyone!! You guys are my rocks!! I couldn't do this without all of your support, have a pain free day, Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/16/2010 8:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks all for the concern. My sister said, tonight, that my mom is a nervous wreck, to be expected, I know. So I didn't call today but def. going to call her tommorrow and try to talk her through it. Gentle Hugs to a great second family, Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

Scarred_for_life
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1559
   Posted 8/17/2010 1:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and her. I do so hope that they caught it in time and that she will be a "Survivor" with this. I know how scary the big "C" can be. Believe me that I have been where your mom is. Not necesserily with Breast Cancer but I did have cervical cancer 14 years ago and I can say I am a survivor. I know she will beat this and I have her tucked in my prayers.

Stay strong hun!

Scarred
I live to "Tame My Pain!" 

flower123
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 856
   Posted 8/17/2010 3:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather. Yes, they have made so much progress in the treatment of breast cancer. Your mom has gone through so much, and she is in my prayers. It's wonderful that you are so close to her and that you love her so much.

Hugs,
Flower

MIKEL99
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 914
   Posted 8/17/2010 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
  Hey Heather , Try to think positive , theres no evidence of anything bad yet so beleive things will work out for the best .It could be minimal , Just be there for your Mom , talk to her , listen to her and be there for her . Wether by phone , online or in person . She will appreciate it . And keep venting here and we will support you thru your stressful time , she needs you now , its a big deal just to hear the word cancer . Good luck and remember we are here for you . Mikel
HIV+. meds - epzicom, Kaletra . oxycontin as needed , indothemiacin . hip replacement surgery scheduled for August 23rd !

flowery
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 440
   Posted 8/17/2010 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Heather,
I ditto what everybody else has said! Keep us posted and know that I'm praying for the best outcome. There is nothing more special than a Mom! I lost mine 15 years ago and would give anything for her to be here today.
Blessings
Heather June
Crohns, Diabetes type 2, Fibro, (Depression and Anxiety..who wouldn't?) Back surgery on herniated L-4 L-5 and S-1. Total of 13 surgerys!


Imran 200 mlg, Asacol, Colestid, Bentyl, Lamotil, Paxil, Amitriptlyne, Nexium, Probiodicts, Vit D, Folic Acid, Lots of Potassium, Fish Oil, up to 6 Immodium a day. Oh, and one Giant Pill holder!

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 8/17/2010 3:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,

I just wanted to post a word of encouragement and support to you. My aunt recently went through a breast cancer situation and received a clean mamogram just today. She had to have surgery, radiation, and chemo, but it was all worth it in the end. She is now cancer free and doing wonderfully. She never even lost her hair since they were treating her with a new medication that did not have that side effect.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
Retired Mom

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/17/2010 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Paula,
You are so right. It is so difficult to say the right thing, without making her feel worse. I'm just trying to listen and let her vent if she needs to. She seems to want to talk sometimes and completely avoid it others. I'm sure that is part of the process.Thank you for your support, and kind wishes.
Scarred,
I am so happy to hear that you are a survivor. It must have been such a difficult thing to go through. My mom's dad has had colon cancer 3 x's..well they didn't get enough of it and he has had to have his colon removed 3 x's. All 5 of his brothers and his father passed away from colon cancer so with his success rate I know they have came a long way. Thank you for your words of encouragemant.
Flower,
We are close. It has taken a long time but I trully think of her as my best friend. She is so supportive of us and is always their to listen to our gripes and such. I think that makes it all the more difficult..the what if's of it being bad. We can't change was is ,at this point, so I just have to be a rock for her,thank you for your kind words.
 
Mikel,
Here again to be my rock. What with all that you are going through. I thank you for that. I am trying to keep myself from going to that thought. The oh my God it is going to be the worse or has spread. I catch myself in that moment here and there but have had to pull myself back. If I could get some sleep I might be better.lol Thank you for your support.
Heather JUne,
I am sorry about your mom. There is really no-one in this world that can replace that bond if you have it. I can't imagine and wish so much you didn't have to know what it was like to not have your's. Thank you for the prayers. I always pass them along to her and it means so much.
retiredmom,
I am so happy to hear about your aunt. Some good news, like that, lifts my spirits not only for me but for those of you who have supported me through everything. My mom keeps saying no wigs please I'm going ala natural..haha. I have to laugh when she says that. Thinking of all the years she died and primped on that hair. I think saying it though, helps her prepare just in case. thank you for always being there for me..I hope you are feeling better.
 
I spoke to my mom tonight. Although she says she was in a bad point last night and semi-heavy medicated(by my standards..but who am I) herself because of pain, and I believe stress as well. I passed along all of your prayers and well wishes. She cried happy tears and said she felt so blessed that people who don't even know her are so supportive. Thank you all again. Will post more updates later. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/18/2010 10:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Paula,

I am going to California in November for my little sisters wedding. So I will def. give her hugs from you and me both. She did live with me when my 7 year old was born..and for over ayear after that she took care of her. You had it right. She just came out here in May for my oldest sons graduation and stayed for about 10 days. It was so nice. She came out at Christmas a year and a half before that to surprise me kids for their Christmas present. I snuck off to the airport after work and picked her up. She walked in the house and said who has the best grandkids in the world. The look on my kids face was priceless. My youngest kept staring and saying but your my grandma, how'd you get here. I got her addicted to mario cart on WII and the show Ice Road Truckers while she was out that year. We had a blast. Anyways, I'm gonna call her again today to see if her spirits are any better.

I hope to be victorious, thank you so much Paula for the Hugs(much needed) and prayers!! Heather


Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.

mama6
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 416
   Posted 8/19/2010 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Uh oh,
Mom was self medicating again. She said she's having a lot of pain from her recent back surgery. I just wish i could give her a hug. cry She talked to her pr. dr. and found out that she had a lump in her breast at her last mammogram but that the dr. didn't think it was much to worry about. She didn't even mention it to my mom. Now they have tripled in size and there are three. I do not understand the medical profession. Not one bit. So instaed of informing my mom and giving her the option of deciding what to do this dr. decided she wouldn't bothering mentioning it. I am so pi**ed off right now. Sorry..but I am. I don't know what to do..besides be mad. Thanks for letting me vent again. Heather
Big Hugs, Mama6

DX. with Fibromyalgia, Narcolepsy, Poss. RA or Psoratic Arthritis, Herniated disc 3x in last 7 months
Meds: Nuvigl, Cymbalta, Tramadol

Mother to 5 wonderfull kids. Oldest is 18 and just left the nest for animation school. Youngest just started 2nd grade. So I am crazy, and feeling my age plus some.
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