~ Time To Vent

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Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/26/2010 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Dear Friends & Family,
 
     Most of us are quiet, and emotionally much stronger than those around us. It is one of the side effects of long term chronic pain. It isn't that it DOESN'T bother us. On the contrary, it does. A LOT! But, often times, we keep it all bottled up inside.
 
    Who better to vent to than those who know you best? This thread is for getting it all out. For venting.  It is important that we take the time to release the frustration... least we have a major blow up.
 
     This is where you can let it out. Once you let it go.. forgive and forget. As best you can. Get it out and take a deep breath. We wont take offense, we understand. Share it with us. 
 
smilewinkgrin  
 
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
 
Chronic Pain Moderator

Monty's Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/26/2010 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   
I dont understand why my sons and fiance cant see that staying home and doing nothing is not how I want to live or makes me feel good about myself. This pain can make you feel helpless, and the days that it renders you helpless makes me feel exhausted and frustrated with life. I treat my pets better than I do myself!

Making others feel good over myself is not a new thing that came with the pain. I have always wanted to please everyone. I just get tired of getting neighbors kids on the bus and driving them to school when they miss the bus, while they are off at work and I am stuck at home. Dont take me the wrong way, I love my kids and all the kids in our neighborhood, but I dont love how I feel obligated to care for them when their parents dont. I am the house for snacks, and drinks and questions. Also the condom house too for all the teens. Ive done all these things for the families, and when I am at my worst I only have my best friend (who lives behind me) here to help. Everyone else acts like I have let them down, when they dont even pay me I do it all for free! Why do I do all the helping and caring for others when it is rarely returned? Why cant I just say no?
The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them. That's the essence of inhumanity. George Bernard Shaw


Pelvic adhesive disease, Irritable bowel syndrome, SI joint pain, 7 pelvic surgeries for pain, ovarian cysts, adhesions, and a kidney stone! Wait, future medial transcriptionist I must say ureteral calculus!

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 8/26/2010 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Why can't we all just catch a break for a while where we don't hurt, we feel good, we sleep well, our families help out, our children/spouses are pleasant and loving and we feel loving in return?  Is it too much to ask for a Dr. to give you a straight answer and the correct med at the correct dose or for somebody to return a telephone call for a procedure when they say they will?  Is it too much to ask for people to keep their word and do the things they say they will?
 
Just a little smal break would be nice with fresh 600 count cotton sheets, a fresly made bed, a lightly scented room, quiet, and a good book before a restful nap.  That would probably make a world of difference to me.
Retired Mom

Post Edited (retiredmom) : 8/26/2010 7:58:27 PM (GMT-6)


Áthas
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 8/27/2010 1:35 AM (GMT -7)   
How come others get sympathy when they complain about having had a bad day or a fight with their boyfriend, but when I'm desperate because of the pain or because I've just learned that part of my family's house burnt down (happened in January), it's all not really that bad? How come I'm there for people and then I have nobody I can call, but get complaints when, for once, I just think about myself and take care of myself? What's with these double standards of I have to take other people's problems seriously, but what I'm struggling with isn't really that bad?
I have withdrawn from many "friends" who took it for granted that I always listened to them (and I am a good listener and sometimes way too ready to listen), but felt offended as soon as I wouldn't do it or spent some time taking care of myself and my boyfriend.
And I have to admit that sometimes I still get incredibly angry at doctors whom I saw about the pain in my knees and who just told me to exercise more or wanted to send me to a psychiatrist because I was probably making it up or probably just had an eating disorder and exercised too much (eating disorder with a BMI of 19? come on!) when there was something going on which isn't even that rare and isn't that hard to diagnose. At the age of 25, I have to worry about maybe not being able to walk properly in 20 years and about having to go through surgeries, probably several, at some point in my life. I have to worry about how healthy I will be when I have children in a few years, whether I'll be able to play with them and have fun with them. When the pain is so bad I walk with a limp, I feel unattractive and ashamed about my good-looking boyfriend having a woman at his side who is 17 years younger than him but walks as if she was 30 years older than him. I hate it when we practise swordfencing and I have to take a break in between because my knees are hurting. And it all could have been avoided if the doctors had just taken my pain seriously.

Post Edited (Áthas) : 8/27/2010 2:38:56 AM (GMT-6)


Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 8/27/2010 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   

 

  Why on earth do the people around me expect so much more from me, than they do themselves? How on earth do you justify that kind of thinking?

    Why? Why is it that I give all I have to give, each and every day, no matter how I feel. Yet, I am ridiculed and labeled a "Copter Mom". How cruel. How juvenile. How...degrading. It hurts alot. It is very hard to press on and give 110% while wispers and fingers are pointed straight at your back. It is times like those that make my struggles even harder. I wont stop, of course. I wont give up, ever. My bumblebees need me and that is all there is to say about that.*sigh*

    Lesson number 2,001. Never, ever ridicule someone who is fighting against impossible odds. *check*

    

*hugg*
  dani


 
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
 
Chronic Pain Moderator

Tirzah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2280
   Posted 8/27/2010 8:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I've just about had it with this job search. Why does an absence from 2007 continue to haunt me to this day? Why do potential employers have the right to search your credit, motor vehicle record, tax records (including LTD payments) and every other invasive search they can dream up? Why do they have to make me feel like a slave or a piece of property instead of treating me like an adult & a valuable contributor to the workforce?

I am so ANGRY that my inability to pay my medical bills is keeping me from getting some of these jobs. I am so ANGRY that it took me so long to stand up to some of these doctors and get a proper answer that I ended up in this position -- losing everything & not even being able to rebuild my life b/c everyone just looks down on people who have had medical issues. Why am I treated worse than former drug addicts just b/c I had some problems paying my bills? I cannot believe the selfish, judgmental, hateful, hurtful attitudes some people have!

And I'm tired of having to remember all those awful times every time I get my monthly credit card bill or get turned down for a job that I was well on my way to getting as soon as they get the credit report back. These people are horrible and they ought to be shipped off to Siberia or Antarctica or something. Because I don't want them living anywhere near me. How can people be so incredibly insensitive?!

And my family's just as bad. My extended family is lobbying to reverse ADA laws & my immediate family says they know I'm in awful pain, but I should just "stay positive" and that's how everything will all work out. Not only is that insensitive, it's just plain dumb. Yes, there are emotional benefits to staying positive, but it sure the #$%^ doesn't make a hill of beans difference in how things actually turn out. OHHHHH! I'm hoppin' mad! mad
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