I know it is hard to feel like you are not contributing. I used to be an accountant and miss it so badly. Now.. all I do is make jewelry. I will begin selling it in September if all goes well. I seriously doubt it will do anything to help our finances. It is something. It isn't much, but it is what I can do. Aside from that I volunteer. In small, silly, never going to change the world ways.... Again, it isn't much. It is what I can do.
At some point you have to remember that just because the tasks are small and the pay is horrible, it doesn't mean that you aren't working just as hard as the construction worker in downtown or the high powered attorney in the community. But, you have to pace yourself. You have GOT do it in little spurts. We all have to. If we don't, we will end up in bed and in more pain! Wouldn't it be better to do a little bit every day, rather than a LOT in one day and down in bed for 5 days?
You know, I have an Avon lady here... She puts together these little order books, in small bags with 2 or 3 "samples" in them. Then has her daughters put them on our door handles every other month or every 3 months. Great for finding out the latest color trends and perfect for "stocking stuffers" at Christmas time. Could do something like that, and have your sons deliver them to doors?
Hey! You have to stop thinking your fiancé feels trapped. He loves you! He didn’t marry you because he felt stuck. He loves you very much. Thoughts are actions and your actions of affection mean so much more. Even though things like dancing the night away are not going to happen... things like little "I love you" cards hidden behind the steering wheel, don't hurt and are easy to do. Thoughts are actions and actions are thoughts. Rule of thumb. Only you can make your thoughts actions. If you think poorly of yourself every day it will become a burden on your shoulders. If you think of ways to do things that will make the "inside you" happy, then you have already won half the battle. All you need to do after that is make those thoughts, actions.
"Fake it till you make it I guess." ....But at this point? No one can deny you are struggling to survive. No one could fake their way through your life. It takes a strong will to live, a heart of gold and endless love of all living things, to be you. Please, do not be so hard on yourself. You are trying so hard to make the most out of all the things that have been tossed your way. I dare anyone to stand in your shoes and say different.
Post Edited (Screaming Eagle) : 8/29/2010 10:15:16 AM (GMT-6)