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Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 9/2/2010 12:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey all,
hope you are having a good day.
My friends just been taken to hospital because she has crohns disease and its gotten really bad, shes had every treatment possible and its just getting worse and worse so they are down to the last option to operate. she is the sweetest and bravest girl that never complains about all of this, right now she is in a huge amount of pain and she is absolutley terrified and very upset about having surgery, she will have to have a bag for the rest of her life and its just not going to be the same for her. she will get through alright and learrn to adjust. She will most likely have the operation on monday. i'm going in tonight and taking her dinner and some presents to try cheer her up. and going to go sit with her everyday.. since i have had so much time off school and im still struggling a lot with all the pain and everythnig going on my mum doesn't want me to miss much school for this to be with her because i will most likely miss more later in the year but if she has the operation during school i'm gona talk to my teachers and organise to stay after school with them to catchup on the lesson that i would miss so i can be with her when she goes in and comes out.

She has been through so much with nothing working to relieve the pain, i really hope this surgery helps and goes well. Please everyone here at healing well pray for my best friend. she needs it right now.

Thanks heaps,
buttercup xx

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/2/2010 3:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Buttercup,

You are such a strong person and a good friend! I know your friend will appreciate all of your support and encouragement. How nice it must be for her/him to know they have someone to depend on.

Please don't take this in a negative way, but you may want to ask your friend how she/he feels about having someone in the room immediately after surgery. Depending on how close you are and how much you have shared with each other, your friend may be very embarassed by her/his situation. They will be checking on so many body parts so often and exposing her/him to whomever is sitting there (unless they make you leave for a while). This is a problem many people face after surgery if they are modest. I know I don't seem like I am, but I am and I was even embarassed for my husband to see all of my "business" out there like that. One time when I was stung by a dauber wasp on the right breast, I had to be hospitalized for a week because the wasp had what they called a "dirty stinger". I got an infection in my blood, but mostly my right breast had a very large area that turned lime green and then sort of destroyed the breast tissue over the area. I had to give up being modest then because it seems like every nurse and Dr in the hospital wanted to see the woman's lime green rotting breast......NASTY....

Anyway, I think you are wonderful! I just want you to be prepared to see much more of your friend's body than you probably ever have. Smells will likely be bad at times and this person will probably be embarassed. It is important that he/she have your support and your encouragement.

I can imagine you are the kind of friend I always wish that I had when I was young!

All my best!
Retired Mom

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Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 9/2/2010 6:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Retired Mom,

Yeah i completely understand what you mean, even when i am in hospital with a feeding tube and drips and things i get a bit embarrassed and dont like people im not close with to see me.

But i have spoken to her and asked her what she wants in terms of support and that i will be by her side if she wants but i also know that she will need time on her own and understand that is normal and she will need rest. she told me that she is so scared about this and wants someone to hold her hand going in and she wants that person to be me, and she said it would be good for her if i can be there after aswell. and we have talked about during her recovery how often she will want me there, and because the doctors normally do rounds before 2pm and by 2pm she should be resting and not have too much being done except for the occasional nurses checking up etc. im gonna go after school everyday and take her things to do and dinner and just stay til she feels like it or needs sleep or whatever. we are extremely close friends even though we haven't known each other all that long, but i guess we just click and she is so lovely and easy to get along with :) so we can talk about anything and i will check with her often when im there what she wants and offer to leave etc. i think she will tell me if she wants to be alone, and i can just go out of the room when they are examining even though im sure she wouldn't mind too much.

I've stayed at her house after flare ups and shes stayed at mine when she has been feeling sick too and so i have been there with the smells and when shes in pain etc, she does get a bit embarrassed, everyone would! but whenever it happens we just laugh about it or i just pretend not to notice except for the occasional ones or ill say i did one too and yeah its alright really, i think we will be fine and ill make sure i'm aware of whats going on and get her mum to ask her what she wants honestly and she can let me know :)

Thanks heaps for your reply and advice :) xx
15 years old,
Chronic stomach pain with no diagnosis yet and lots of other things.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Retired Mom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 1753
   Posted 9/2/2010 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
You are a great friend Buttercup. I hope my own daughter will be as kind and understanding to other people at your age. I'm sure you make your parents so proud!

What you are doing for your friend is amazing to me. I have a female cousin who sat with me after my surgery. I have to admit that I asked her to stay instead of my husband (who is not a happy camper in a hospital setting). She is a registered nurse (but doesn't do nursing now) and was a great help to me. I even had to have her adjust the catheter because it was so horribly out of place and the nurse wouldn't help. None the less, I think you are the best for thinking of her and helping to keep her embarassment down as low as possible.

Please let us know how she does with the surgery.
Retired Mom

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Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 200
   Posted 9/2/2010 7:06 AM (GMT -7)   
Thankyou so much Retired Mom,

and underthebus, She has only just been told she needs surgery today and that she will probably have a bag, but she is speaking to the surgeons for all the details tomorrow and will find out then, but if she is told that she will have a bag but not permanent then i will tell her that, if not i guess we will just have to work through her accepting it and will make it look normal!

do you know any things to say to her to make this all easier for her and just like encouragement that iw ill be okay.. i haven't got crohns or had surgery like this exactly so i dont know whats gonna happen, only know the basics about it.. she said they are taking out 30-50cm of her large intestine and some of her small one but they aren't sure how much of it needs to go and her appendix, do you know how long it will take for her recovery and what will happen after in terms of bowel movements and all that kind of thing, will it make the disease alot easier and less flare ups ?? i dont want to overload her with questions while shes going through this so if you could tell me that would be so good :)

thankyou so much
15 years old,
Chronic stomach pain with no diagnosis yet and lots of other things.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
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