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Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/10/2010 7:47 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
Dear Friends & Family,
 
     Most of us are quiet, and emotionally much stronger than those around us. It is one of the side effects of long term chronic pain. It isn't that it DOESN'T bother us. On the contrary, it does. A LOT! But, often times, we keep it all bottled up inside.
 
    Who better to vent to than those who know you best? This thread is for getting it all out. For venting.  It is important that we take the time to release the frustration... least we have a major blow up.
 
     This is where you can let it out. Once you let it go.. forgive and forget. As best you can. Get it out and take a deep breath. We wont take offense, we understand. Share it with us. 
 
smilewinkgrin

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

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grainofsalt
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 9/10/2010 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I think my venting is that other loved ones (those especially close to me) feel that they "need" to help me out with certain tasks. Now I love that I have these close loved ones, and I am grateful that they want to help me and see me well. Usually they are fairly good about letting me be my own boss. Its been more of recently with the increased pain and then getting the RNF procedure. Very happy to have my best friend and girlfriend there to help me out, but there are some things I would like to do on my own, without them worrying. I haven't really said to much on the issue, and I intend to keep it that way. They are here for me, and that is a God send in itself. Afterall its not a bad thing to have your GF remind you to take your meds before the pain rises, or your friend to do the dishes so that you don't have to bend over. I don't even know why I'm venting, hehe, I should probably shut up :P
MRI revealed a bulging disc w/gel lost at L5 and showed the bulge touching nerves, causing sciatica. Diagnosed w/ Arthritis which is responsible for joint inflamation pain. Treatment: Nucynta 50-150 mgs every 6 hours (schedule II narcotic, Mu Opoid agonist and NE reuptake inhibitor), Celebrex 100 mgs, Klonopin .5, Epidurals, Radio Freq nuerotomy (sept 8th, 2010)

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 9/10/2010 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
It probably isn't so much as having these people there to help you that gets on your nerves so much as it is needing or that others think you need the help in the first place.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 9/10/2010 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Now I know how so many of you feel every night! As a lot of you who know me can atest, I overdo it sometimes and usually pay the price for my actions w/ pain that I normally can tollerate w/ my meds and a hot shower. Last night it was bad> real bad! The pain in my lumbar spine was just unbearable! No matter how I moved it just wouldn't stop. Just like a hot poker sticking me in that one spot had me in tears! I appologized to my wife for being such a baby w/ my moans, groans and evan some yells & screams!! Finally left the bedroom to let her sleep. Oh how I feel for Y'all who have that kind of pain everyday!!!!!!! It finally calmed down after two showers, one hot then one cold! I had to try anything I could think of to make it stop. I had my tens unit on full blast trying to knock it out but that didn't help at all! Today I was back to the usuall daily managable pain (the kind a normal person would be crippled by!)and evan did some chores> picked up horse poop of course and built a rope fence for an area around the barn where the rain has been eroding the soil. It's kind of a break away rope fence incase one of the mookies runs into it so they won't get hurt!!! I just pray that that foul pain in my back dosen't come back tonight!!
My heart goes out to all of you w/ awful pain!!! All I can say is it really sucks big time! So sorry to go on and rant about my pains but it isn't often when a pain cripples me like last night!! I just hope it isn't a warning of things to come!!! I can feel it thumping away in there right now! Jeeze!!! Here we go again!!
Love Y'all>> BIG HUGZ!!!
Pirttyfull Pete!
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

damgalnuna
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 9/10/2010 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel my life slipping away, and I'm terrified. There are so many things I can't do anymore. And the news this week that I now have a third herniated disc makes me worried that my lumbar spine is in serious trouble. I only have three levels not fused in my lumbar spine, and now they all have herniated discs! I also started feeling pins and needles and tingling in my arms and hands, which makes me worried that I'm having disc problems above my fusion as well. This is a new problem, and I haven't had any imaging done in this area, so it's entirely a guess.

Today has been an extremely high pain day. Tasks that should have taken me two hours total for my work took me ten hours to complete due to frequent breaks and difficulty in maintaining focus.

I don't feel like a good enough mom when I can't do things to take care of my kid. She's finally seeming to understand, but not always. Our house is a mess because I can't do chores anymore. Even just loading one load of laundry into the washer does me in.

I feel so helpless and hopeless. I've spent so much time crying this week. I have no idea what to do now. Everything's a mess, and there's no sign that it will get better any time soon. It's hard to stay positive under those circumstances.
Scoliosis fusion w/rods - 1992; herniated disc - 1996; partial removal of rods - 1997; microdiscectomy - 1997; sudden inc. in pain - 2008; tried the following non-pharm treatments: PT, aquatic therapy, TENS, acupuncture, piriformis injections, selective nerve root blocks; other: depression, anxiety, add; current meds: lyrica, baclofen, vicodin, topomax, tramadol, welbutrin, ativan, ritilin

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/10/2010 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
 
     
    
   I am angry.  mad
 
I don't want to hear "I've never sent his before. I have to speak with my colleagues."
 
I don't want to hear "I am worried"
 
"There has to be something attacking you spine."
 
or worse! "I am just not sure what is most pressing. I have never encountered anyone like you before."
 
......some things need to be kept inside for conversations with your co workers after I am gone. Those are good examples of things to keep to yourself.  nono  
 
     Okay, so who ever heard of a skeletally mature spine going from normal ~~> to thoracolumbar levoscoliosis (with developing lordosis within the primary progressive curve??? what the heck?!) and thoracic dextroscoliosis with a developing compensatory cervical tilt In 3yrs flat? What is this? Some kind of sick science fiction tale?  
 
     Did I really just pay $4,500 on a genetic panel to find out "Idiopathic".. in case your wondering that a nearly 5K word for "we don't know".  nono   Would have rather used that money on some new skirts to show off these incredibly expensive curves. You heard me right. I don't hide them, I dont cover them up, I show them off! I make these curves look gOOooOOD! Watch out folks! Here I come! devil
 
     Oh and one other thing... I maybe cuved and I may be crooked, but I still give each and every day all I have to give. Why do perfectly healthy people feel sorry for me? Only one way to go for me and that is up! Where are they going?..or hiding?
 
     That feels so much lighter.
 
....this would probably be very offensive statments to other people. This is one of the great things about being with friends like all of you. I KNOW you all understand perfectly well how I am feeling
*warm huggs*
       dani

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
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Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/10/2010 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
 
   Dear Damga,
 
    *warm huggs* I am so sorry you are so scared. You sound just plain worn out to your very core. I am so sorry you have so much pain *hugg* PLease, don't be so hard on yourself. Your trying really hard to survive through so much pain and doing a dang good job of it. I dare anyone to stand in  your shoes and say different! Please know we are here, even if all we can do is listen, anytime you need and ear or shoulder. *warm huggs*
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
Mail

Pete trips again!
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1899
   Posted 9/11/2010 2:39 AM (GMT -7)   
You see! This is what I was talking about in my first post! Two dear Ladies who have such serious back pain who wrote right after my whiny post!!! Gani & Damga have the kind of pain I was describing! They both suffer but manage to get things done anyway! Both of you are my HEROS!!! I don't know how you do it????
I am up early again cause I just couldn't lie in bed a minute longer wishing I could go back to sleep w/ my "uncomfortable pain" in my back, neck, shoulders and hip, These pains are nothing like the ones I experianced the other night>> the kind that you two angels fight every day!!! I feel so humbled by you!!! I feel like I have no right posting about my minor problems while you are suffering so!!!
Thank you for setting me straight! How I wish I could suck up some of your pain, make it go away so you can live a normal life but all I can do is listen and tell you I'll be here for you! I guess thats all any of us can do for each other here at H.W.
I wish I could give you both a long soft hug, a small kiss on your cheek and tell you "It's gonna be alright" I wish!!!
Love>> P.W. Sr.
When I was young & stupid I broke almost every bone in my body and I'm paying a heavy price now but I'm still here and so glad to see my two sons grow up to be fine young men, both are in the Navy. I'm so proud! My biggest health problem>> I'm a certified Luny~Tune!!

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14417
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I came here to vent about having to use a cane and brace that feels like I'm being squashed inside. I wanted to grumble about not being able to take a step without stabbing pains shooting from the waist down my leg. I wanted to hollar and scream at the agony I'm feeling I'm in. Even my stomach surgery recovery last year didn't hurt this much.
I can't stand longer than 15 minutes before I'm hurting. I can't walk more than 100yds before I'm hit with agonizing spasms. Sitting is my only relief, but I still feel like I've got "rocks" rubbing around inside my spine.
I've got to deal with another doctor and bigger medical bills! I think this hurts more to me.
I hate medication! Pain relievers make me cranky and moody. Muscle relaxers make me loopy and sleepy. I want a relief without that.
I love my job and hate to think I may have to eventually go on disability and leave it.

I'm just overwhelmed right now. :S
Joy

Mrs. Dani
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2787
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:39 AM (GMT -7)   

 

   Dear Pete,

     Hey now! A 10 is a 10! No matter who you are, your 10 is the most extreme you have ever experienced. That is that. We are all equal in pain. Thats a fact.

    You go days at the same level without change. You still have to do heavy labor and heavy work all day, every day. I would pass out if I were in your shoes. I atleast, get a few hours rest and get to "re set" my pain by a few levels. You on the other hand, do not get any relief and have SERIOUS permanant damage to your back, knees and foot. smhair

    You dont whine! I am pretty sure my neighbor, who thinks the rest of the neighbor hood is out to get her.. she whines. The postman is late. The new neighbors were using power tools before her 11am wake up call. The flowers down the street bother her allergies. She doesnt know why her once a month walk doesnt burn more calories.. She whines. You do NOT.

Lots of Love!
  *big hug*
      dani


TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

Chronic Pain Moderator
Mail

MsBunky
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 9/11/2010 9:52 AM (GMT -7)   
It just breaks my heart to read about how much pain people are in...physically and emotionally. There's a part of me that questions why good people have to go through so much bad stuff, and why it often feels like you never get a break. Why can't our drug companies find better medicines that don't space you out or make you feel miserable? And why are there so many doctors who are in the business of treating pain, yet you often leave their offices feeling worse than when you went in?

I feel fortunate that I have an excellent support system around me, including my doctor. Then I read people's posts here about rude and condescending medical personnel, or about how little most doctors seem to know about chronic pain, and how to treat it. I'm appalled at how difficult it is for most people here to get adequate pain medication to help them feel better. Of course, I also read here how easy it is for people in the states to get appointments to see doctors and have tests...we have a 1 (one) year wait list for non-urgent MRI's in Alberta unless you want to pay cash for an appointment.

I guess really, my vent isn't about me or my situation, it's for people in these forums who aren't getting what they need and deserve, to live a quality life. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for the friends I've made here...but all I can do is keep praying that things improve for every chronic pain sufferer.

Gentle hugs to all, and I will continue to pray for these forums, and the people who come here.

Pam

ekkorose
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 329
   Posted 9/11/2010 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Why must it all come crashing down now?
 
I cannot handle my mother (in law) deathly ill, my grandma in ICU, my good friend with a broken back and havng to have major surgery in two months (which I should be having now but need to wait on due to previous mentioned things going on) plus a massive increase in pain.
 
I am not sure how much more I can take before I break. I really do not. I cannot work 60hrs a week plus be at two hospitals plus deal with my pain plus take care of the husband and his father all at the same time. Well, maybe if I never slept I could but that makes the pain worse...
 
Dear Goddess, I do not want to hit my breaking point. This is hard enough now.
 
okay? Thanks.
 
 
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