Tina!...I wanted to wish you the best of luck as you go in for your appointment today! I know and understand how you feel, and what the issues are. If it were me I would talk with one of the nurses that you may know very well, and see if they know of a more willing and understanding PM there to work with.
We both understand the Seriousness of a pump and the problems it can deal a person. There are many factors to think about with a pump, but in the end, if it is the last resort for you, I don't see much of a choice but to go that route. You have at least been approved and gone through the trial, so that part of the journey has been completed. You and I know each other very well, so I'm not going to throw a bunch of questions at you, as we have discussed this several times in the past.
Thinking of you all day today and my heart and prayers are with you in ernest!
Take care, my good friend! Love Ya!