Sex? What's that?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 413
   Posted 9/23/2007 2:19 PM (GMT -6)   
I posted this topic on the UC forum and got a few responses and not sure people were getting what meant. Every response/advise suggested waiting for my sx's to decrease or go away and I'll be back in the saddle--so to speak. I've been chronically sick for over a year now. I've had UC for over ten years. I'm refering to the CHRONICness of it all. Can anyone relate? B/c in the UC forum it seems everyone is having great sex, lol.

Yeah, just don't feel like it anymore--too much fatigue, too tired, face it, diarrhea is not sexy--lol. I am totally o.k. w/not feeling sexual right now, but I'm concerned b/c I have a long term partner, who is very sympathetic to my situation, but still, I feel bad. This is NOT a medication thing, or a libido thing, it's a dealing with chronic illness thing. Can you relate? Oh, yeah, we are very affectionate, kissy, kissy, hugs, etc., And, yes, we've talked about it, but still my partner's very healthy, fit and "normal" physically--you know what I mean.
Dx Ulcerative Colitis 1999; IBS; CP: Asacol x3 x3/day, Rowasa, Proctofoam, Prilosec, Bentyl, Prozac, Endocet (as needed), multi vit, probiotic, fish oil caps x2/day, calcium 1200 mg./day, Prednisone (off/on, unfortunately).

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 9/23/2007 9:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lucy,

Yes, I do know what you mean. My meds take away drive and the 'fun' side of it all. It can be very depressing when you have someone you love who still desires an active sex life.

You are doing all the right things and it sounds like your partner understands. So, why are you still feeling guilty? I guess any of us would, but as long as you've talked it out you're doing fine. Don't worry what others in the UC forum are doing or talking about doing, just worry about you and your sweetie.

A satisfying sex life doesn't always include the bit 'O'. Sounds like that might be what you have. If your partner and you are happy be grateful. Many CP'ers don't have that much.

Co-Mod Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, collapsed disk, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteo arthritis in spine and other locations.

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein: (1879-1955)

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 413
   Posted 9/24/2007 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your response Chutz. Humm, brought the subject up b/c thought it was something that people with chronic illness have to deal with, at least I do. The lack of response is interesting to me, either people are happy w/their intimate lives or this is a very sensitive subject. I guess it's not just about sex, but sexuality, whether you're in a relationship currently or not. Maybe I brought it up b/c for the first time in ten years my partner actually got mad at me one night b/c I got sick and they did not think I was taking enough care of myself--over exercising (believe me I do NOT exercise a lot, can't) and not taking enough pain meds (I cut back for multiple reasons)--it's funny if you think about it, to actually have a partner who wants you to work out less and take more narcotics, lol. I spent most of yesterday sick and I'm not able to sleep very well tonight b/c of intense stomach pain (and, yes, I took my pain meds) and there is a very concerned look in my partner's eyes, different somehow. It's a lot of work making chronic illness not who you are, but what you have; not letting it overtake your relationships with people, or becomming the main topic. I went out with two friends on Fri. night, saw Eastern Promises (good by the way, but very violent) and while they munched away on popcorn and what not, I can't. We went out after to get something to eat, they had coctails, I gave up alcohol years ago, b/c of UC/IBS, they ate appitizers and salad, etc and I had a small cup of soup which I ate very slowly and still ended up with bad stomach pain. I didn't want to turn the evening into my illness so I just dealt with it silently. O.k., I don't know what my point is anymore, just free flowing. Maybe someone can relate.
Dx Ulcerative Colitis 1999; IBS; CP: Asacol x3 x3/day, Rowasa, Proctofoam, Prilosec, Bentyl, Prozac, Endocet (as needed), multi vit, probiotic, fish oil caps x2/day, calcium 1200 mg./day, Prednisone (off/on, unfortunately).

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 649
   Posted 9/24/2007 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Lucy, you and I are in the same boat. I've spent years avoiding social situations because of the food problems. Finally got tired of everyone pointing out that I don't (can't) eat enough to suit their idea of "enough." Sure, if they want to see a technicolor puke-fest right in the middle of their entrees, I can eat just like they do! Then I can go home and pay an even higher price in pain for the next 24 to 48 hours. Fun!

So no, you aren't alone. I guess I'm just very lucky to have an extremely loving and understanding husband. <sigh> Don't know why he puts up with me, but he does, and I'm eternally grateful. Like pain, there's just some things that you just have to simply accept.
Living in the Republic of Texas minus a gallbladder, a couple of cervical discs, appendix, uterus, and 18" of colon; but living with my wonderful husband, 2 dogs, 1 cockatiel, and 2 gold fish. 

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