Hi Mochiah and everyone,
I have crps (nerve disorder) and under all day and night chronic pain. I have a very understanding wife and kids. (8and13) I am 42 years old male and always played every sport and rode motorcross all my life. The reason I tell this is because although I thought I was tough as nails my whole life, I find myself crying alone and hiding my pain as much as possible. I complain probably as much as anyone, but like others say, it would be the only thing I say if I talked about my problem all the time. So many nights I just read and listen to others in this forum because you will find that so many people have exactly the same feelings you do. Frustration,anxiety,helplessnes and every other feeling to hate the world. So many days I feel like I dont want to tollerate all these feelings anymore and well, you know what I'm trying to say. To say nobody can understand chronic pain unless they experience it for a lengthly time is so much an understatement. It took a long time before I would admit to crying to my wife but, If we hold it in all the time I think it makes it more difficult to deal with and may result to unwanted decisions. I no longer consider myself an iron man, but just another CP person with the desire for a normal family life and some pain relief.
I apologize for rambling on but to deal with our problems It's sometimes better to vent than to keep it in all the time.
Good luck to all and a happy holiday season
This is my first post...I have been reading for quite awhile and I have to add that I, too have pain in my lower back and especially in my left leg all the time. I have been on alot of the meds that have been discussed...right now I am not working and am trying to control my pain with just hydrocodone and amitriptyline. I also don't say much about this to anyone, even my husband...they act like they don't care anyway. Pain has changed my life considerably over the last 17 or so years. I have days that I am SO angry and my husband doesn't get it...he makes it worse and throws it back at me. I was working a second job (after he QUIT his job) and that was when I got hurt...permanently. What I wouldn't give to be pain-free! I had a doctor tell me, too that I will never be without pain...encouraging, isn't it?