I am sorry you are feeling bad and yes I understand completely what your feeling. I know that overwhelming paralyzing feeling very well, and I have lived it for 25 years. I usually do very well but the past 2 years have been a huge struggle.
My Pdoc felt my AD had pooped out which may be your problem. I think it is good you are going to see the Dr. and perhaps switiching to a new med will get you back to feeling better. Also therapy is truly a great help. I have been in therapy several times, the last therapist I had was the best.
Remember this is not the normal you, you have much on your plate, you have a major disease which you cope with daily and on top of that you have chosen a noble but very difficult profession.
When I was going to Nursing School, I had 4 children at home and worked every other week-end. I burned out and struggled but I gave myself permission to feel overwhelmed. I made it through with the help of friends. You may give yourself permission to feel down and if possible can you cut back any on your studies.
I have stood in front of that same mirror, Sarita, and wondered who that woman in the mirror was and where was she going...........she looked so darn sad. That is when I usually splash cold water on my face and stop looking in the mirror for the answers. I try to reach deep down within and find a bit more strength to carry me through. Then I see my Pdoc. Just telling her how I feel and having her validate my feelings is sometimes the trick to helping me accept who I am
You are a wonderful and caring person, that person in the mirror is not who you are, it is inside of you where the real heart and soul reside.
Know you are cared about here by your HW family and keep posting my friend.
Gentle Hugs to you.
Post Edited (Confused in IL) : 1/14/2008 12:27:06 PM (GMT-7)
If I have a good Doctor like you are going to be, I could live with the knowlege that he or she had a physical problem of their own. In fact I think that Doctor would have more empathy toward me, the patient as they have walked in my shoes.
You will shine, and you will have patients that adore you. Remember those babysteps and do not let your disorder hold you back, it may slow you down from time to time but you will make it, just believe.
I believe in you. Gantle Hugs to my friend the Dr.