Dreaded stress at work causing CD to go crazy!!! (losing my job too)

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karendee
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/17/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Dreaded stress at work causing CD to go crazy!!!

 

I recently started a new job in September 07 and was so excited. Some of you might remember me posting her about how I was interviewing in a flare.

 

Well, my boss is awful and yells at me a lot and I just kept making mistakes because I was so nervous. Now she tells me that this is not the right job for me and is telling me I need to find a job elsewhere.

 

I have been trying really hard but I have been sick everyday because of this job and now I am on the hunt for a new job!

 

I am so upset that i am flaring so bad no with bloody D and cramping and all the signs of a flare getting going.

 

Also she has given me 4-6 weeks to find a new position which is nice. However, they are going to recruit for my position and since I work in recruiting I get to schedule the interviews and see the person that might replace me. (I will have to try not to scream at the person " run out of here this place sucks!"

 

I am having such a hard time working while I can’t sleep and am basically fired even though I did a great job in some areas while others I need to improve.

 

There were so many lunches I skipped and ate really fast at my desk I came in to work early and worked so hard.

 

Everyone else likes me and thinks I am doing great…. I have never had this happen before.

 

Thanks for the vent…. Off to potty again L

 

Karen


 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


RedAdmin
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 1017
   Posted 1/17/2008 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   
You know by me being a secterary I have always believed I was interviewing them as well as them me. If it is not a good match it is not a good match. Keep looking for what is good for you.

I was just told a quote I think everyone here will like

Do not settle for less than you think you deserve, when you settle for less you will get less than you settled for.


Red (Lee Ann)
 Happy Bunny 
      When life gives you lemons, squirt juice in your enemy's eyes.

Post Edited (RedAdmin) : 1/17/2008 12:32:28 PM (GMT-7)


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/17/2008 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks red!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


mcleaver1969
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 267
   Posted 1/17/2008 11:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen,
That job sounds horrible and your boss sounds like a witch...you will find a job where you feel comfortable and welcome, don't worry. I hope you feel better soon dear...take care of yourself.
Marci, 38 years young, Rockledge, FL
Dx with Crohn's disease March 2006
Currently on bi-weekly Humira, daily 6mg Entocort, daily 2-3x 5mg hydrocodone (for pain), and daily 75mg Effexor,
plus 3x per day heavy iron supplements for anemia,
calcium supplement, daily multi-vitamin,
Lasix as needed for ankle/feet swelling
Self-proclaimed "recluse"  do to CD  ;)


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/17/2008 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks Marci! My hubby keeps telling me it is not me but I feel like such a failure.... I will try to stay positive!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/17/2008 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Karen, the next time your boss starts ragging on you inappropriately just mention the words "hostile environment".............. I am sorry you were cursed with a boss that is insensitive and not a people person.

Believe in yourself, you are a good person and don't let anyone else tell you different.  You keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will go far. Give yourself a big hug and just believe.


 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/17/2008 12:46 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks Kitt! She is also in HR can you believe it!!! I will keep a positive outlook :) at lesat I will try
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


Skjura
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 210
   Posted 1/17/2008 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Karendee,
 
I got my Crohns break through because of a boss like yours. She was as terrible, but she only talked (yelled etc.) in a negative manner when I was alone with her and nobody heard. In my country we can never get fired because we are sick, If they do that they have to give you your job back and all the paying that you've lost during out of that job.
 
But crazy bosses it's hard to handle. Keep telling yourself that this is not your problem, this problem belongs to her. Don't let anyone turn you down. Walk tall, be proud and keep your selfconfidence on top. Strive for that. Please, don't lose your focus!
We have to tell other to stop doing this to us. How do we do this?
Is there any place you can make a call to ask for advice? I am sure there are some self helping groups in your place or near ..that you can make a phone call to and tell them what's up and ask what to do. 
 
I have learned that communication always is between a sender and a receiver. If the sender gets a response that says: Hey, don't talk to me like this, I won't allow you! The sender may understand that this is far beyond common behavior. If the receiver says nothing at all but show by all her body that she's sad and confused, the sender (if the person is seeking for power in a negative way), will continue. Because the sender finds out that this works. For me, I have promised myself that I will never ever let a person doing this to me again. It was terrible, it took years to get better from the depression and I still have Crohn's.
A lot of us that had to deal with a person like this are strong and often clever people. WE are often a threat to the powerseekers (which actually wants, but don't feel having power, I think). 
All science that excists about this issue tells the same: it's often a devoted and hard-working person from the staff that is the one being "pecked at". And "the pecker" is often a group leader.
For me the biggest sorrow was that I never told anybody at my work about this, I felt so ashamed and confused, and couldn't understand what I did wrong. A year after I stopped working there I understood: I should have stopped her by telling her at once: I don't accept your behavior. I am an adult and a colleague, I suggest that you stop this immediately. 
Good luck, take care!
Ingrid


 
Diagnosed CD June 2007. Have only used prednisone. Did make a difference while max dosed. Got my problems back when tapering.
 
Using Low Dose Naltrexone from sept. 2007. LDN is super! I am now in remission ;-)

Post Edited (Skjura) : 1/17/2008 5:44:57 PM (GMT-7)


bluemeanies
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 1372
   Posted 1/17/2008 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I was fired two weeks ago, supposedly for being sick but I think it was a financial problem on their part. So I too am looking for a new job. Hopefully you will find one you like better.
 


curley
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 4305
   Posted 1/17/2008 6:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this,It's hard enough to have to deal with Crohns let alone having to deal with all this stress from your job.Please hang in there it will get better.
Curley
.........
 


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/18/2008 6:08 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks everyone! i was thinking this morning that she may know I have Crohn's. I did not tell her but right around the time when she started getting mean i told a coworker. I told the coworker it was not a secret that I just didn't think I needed to tell my boss. I think she knows though.
 
Ingrid you are so right! I should have not allowed her to yell at me. your advice was ver good. I keep thinking that I will confront her before I leave if not before.
 
I plan to stand up for myself right now. She also has not told my coworkers that she asked me to look for another job and keeps assigning me big projects.  I plan to tell them today, it is driving me crazy because they need to know and it will make me feel better.
 
The terrible thing is some of my coworkers really count on me (they work from home recruiting) and they tell me all the time how great I am. When I met them in person they all started clapping when I entered the room. I felt so good and my boss yelled at me later that same day.
 
Thanks for the support everyone! I knew all of you would understand!
 
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/18/2008 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Karen I am so sorry you are having to go thru all these problems at work.  I think Ingrid gave you some great advice.  You cannot let someone who is a bully like that get away with it.  Its obvious that you are well liked with your coworkers.  I once had a boss like that.  Anyone who was well liked because of the good work they did or just because they were a good and happy person to be around they got nothing but a hateful attack.  People like that are just bullies in my eyes and very power hungry.  Since that time it has taught me that no one will ever treat me like that again.  I don't know if my age has made me stronger or more stubborn but it won't happen to me again.  Definetly share with your co-workers and Kitt's thought of hostile work enviroment is definetly true also.  This lady will get whats coming to her.  Because what goes around, comes around.  And karma will have its day.  Good luck on your job search.  I will keep you in my prayers.

God Bless,

Gail *Nanners*


Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/18/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Nanners, I hope you are right.... I sure could use karma to give her a little taste of her own medicine cool
maybe someday she will get a boss that yells at her. I can only hope... that would be great!
 
thanks for all your support everyone! Today I decided I plan to take some time off.
 
I have been coming in to work at 7:30 or so and not taking lunch and leaving at 5pm. Not long hours for most people but when you are trying to keep your job and still get yelled at it can take it's toll on you.
 
So I am leaving early today!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/18/2008 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
YOU GO GIRL!!!!
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


AmandaH01
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 100
   Posted 1/18/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
karendee said...

Dreaded stress at work causing CD to go crazy!!!

 

I recently started a new job in September 07 and was so excited. Some of you might remember me posting her about how I was interviewing in a flare.

 

Well, my boss is awful and yells at me a lot and I just kept making mistakes because I was so nervous. Now she tells me that this is not the right job for me and is telling me I need to find a job elsewhere.

 

I have been trying really hard but I have been sick everyday because of this job and now I am on the hunt for a new job!

 

I am so upset that i am flaring so bad no with bloody D and cramping and all the signs of a flare getting going.

 

Also she has given me 4-6 weeks to find a new position which is nice. However, they are going to recruit for my position and since I work in recruiting I get to schedule the interviews and see the person that might replace me. (I will have to try not to scream at the person " run out of here this place sucks!"

 

I am having such a hard time working while I can’t sleep and am basically fired even though I did a great job in some areas while others I need to improve.

 

There were so many lunches I skipped and ate really fast at my desk I came in to work early and worked so hard.

 

Everyone else likes me and thinks I am doing great…. I have never had this happen before.

 

Thanks for the vent…. Off to potty again L

 

Karen

I have had issues with working. I get anxiety so bad. Even before I was diagnosed when I first got certified as a nurse aide. I went into work and I obviously was having crohn's issues. I would get so sick vommitting, diahrea, the pain...the works basically! I had a doctors note because I had gone in and I ended up being pretty sick and they took me out of work for a week where I was immediately terminated from my position! Apparently in Pennsylvania they are allowed to fire you with no reason? I'm not sure I thought it was insane. I'm in now in a financial situation where I should go back to work because I have student loans to pay off that are over $200.00 a month and I don't find it fair my husband should have to pay for everything. It has been difficult for me. My issues were so bad that I ended up taking schooling online but the bill wasn't much less than going to a local university.
 
I hope you find a GOOD job with people that will respect and treat you well.. (sorry I got off topic a little with my vent.)


Amanda: age 23 happily married for 6 years Mother to Kirstiana 5, Savannah soon to be 2, Halen 11 weeks
I have had symptoms since childhood but I was FINALLY diagnosed 1/14/2008! I also have scoliosis and hypothyroidism
Currently taking: Pentasa 500 mg 2 tablets 3 times daily  Darvocet 1 tablet every 6 hours as needed (I can't take due to watching my children it makes me drowsy and sick) Prednisone 60 mg to decrease by 10 mg weekly until down to 2.5mg Ranitidine 300 mg 1 tablet twice daily Women's one a day multi-vitamin with double the calcium once daily, I take levoxyl 200mcg for my thyroid issue.

Post Edited (AmandaHoles01) : 1/19/2008 4:51:50 PM (GMT-7)


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/18/2008 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Amanda, I also have student loans about the same cost as you! I know we can apply for a 6 month payment deferral (not sure of the exact term) you may want to contact your loan company. if it is a student loan you might qualify. I plan to do that as well.

I also plan to let my boss fire me if I cannot find a new job. I need the unemployment and the relief from my loans while job hunting.

Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


njmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1884
   Posted 1/18/2008 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Karen,
 
Some bosses are toxic and the sooner you get another job, the better.
 
Meanwhile, I love the suggestion from stkitt about "hostile environment," because yelling at employees and otherwise creating a hostile environment is illegal.
 
After decades of a successful career, I once found myself with a boss that constantly, and publicly, denigrated and humiliated me. Finding myself in a hostile environment, I went on record using the phrase and immediately, the constant denigration and verbal attacks stopped. Of course, I lost my job, but that was going to happen, anyway.
 
On the upside, though I had only worked there a few months, I was offered a settlement. And, officially, I was laid off, not fired, so I don't have to say "fired" on my resume.
 
Since that time, years ago, I have worked for two employers, both of whom think my work is excellent.

Post Edited (njmom) : 1/18/2008 9:15:32 AM (GMT-7)


AmandaH01
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 100
   Posted 1/18/2008 9:17 AM (GMT -7)   
karendee said...
Amanda, I also have student loans about the same cost as you! I know we can apply for a 6 month payment deferral (not sure of the exact term) you may want to contact your loan company. if it is a student loan you might qualify. I plan to do that as well.

I also plan to let my boss fire me if I cannot find a new job. I need the unemployment and the relief from my loans while job hunting.

Karen

I had applied for a deferal during my pregnancy actually twice! Neither one of them after they accepted them seemed to go through. Speaking of that I need to call and have that taken care of since today I had a credit alert showing that there are three late payments on my report! I don't even know how my companies got switched as my first deferment due to the high risk pregnancy was not up and not my loan is with a new company. Its sort of suspicious to me.

Amanda: age 23 happily married for 6 years
Mother to Kirstiana 5, Savannah soon to be 2, Halen 11 weeks
I have had symptoms since a young child but I was FINALLY diagnosed 1/14/2008!
  • Currently taking: Pentasa 500 mg 2 tablets 3 times daily  Darvocet 1 tablet every 6 hours as needed (I can't take due to watching my children it makes me drowsy and sick) Prednisone 60 mg to decrease by 10 mg weekly until down to 2.5mg Ranitidine 300 mg 1 tablet twice daily Women's one a day multi-vitamin with double the calcium once daily

I have no family or friends around me other than my husband and children so I very greatly appreciate this group and i'm hoping to become a regular. You are all great people! (I also need to add my father in law does live fairly close as well..I don't want to leave him out.)

 
 


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/18/2008 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   
njmom, I might just have to think about that! If I had known how the enviroment was here I could have taken a different job!! I had another offer :(
The mean and harmful words make me a worse worker and I just don't get why she keeps doing it. I am saying something about it.

Amanda, keep trying with the loans, I hope you get a deferal!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/18/2008 11:57 AM (GMT -7)   
First of all, Ingrid how did you get so wise?  Great advice and I am so sorry you went through this uncalled for, disrespectful treatment by another human.
Karen.........you rock dear Lady and you will make it.  You know all the right things now put them into play one at a time. Continue to believe in you as you are headed for great things in this life. Bless you. ((((((((HUGS))))))))
 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/18/2008 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks Kitt, you are so nice!
Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


demchim
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 124
   Posted 1/19/2008 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I so sorry Karen for having such a horrible boss. Some people are just evil. My advice would be to find a job in a better environment. I went through the same thing last year. My boss was horrible and my symptoms would flare so unexpectedly every time she upset me. Anyhow, I ended up finishing off that year and moved on to a better area with a much better environment. It made a HUGE difference in my symptoms. Hope you feel better and hang in there.

karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/20/2008 7:56 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks demchim

Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


Skjura
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 210
   Posted 1/21/2008 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Karendee,

I'm sure you've got some renewed strength and selfconfidence now, because you've now
seen that all your colleagues is careing for and respects you. And you get a lot of support here that confirms that you're the one doing right.
Your "boss" has seen that too, she doesn't like what she sees, she's feeling you are breathing her in the neck, worrying you're coming to take her job. She sees a leader in you. Therefore she needs to get rid of you. Some leaders are really weak and bad leaders! I am sure if you stand in front of her and says BOOH! she will run... try to tell the most reliable colleagues about her attitudes towards you, also tell them that she has asked you to find a new job and ask them for advice. Chose the brave people, don't ask the mediocre(sp?), they are yes-people with no guts, the brave ones aren't afraid of supporting you all the way.
I think you'll need to feel that you have support from some good people there, don't do like I did, I isolated myself and felt so alone, and wouldn't bather anyone. I thought that they maybe wouldn't listen to or believe me.
When I got the Crohns onset, I had to stay home from job, I then wrote a letter to quit the job.
All the years after that I've felt sorry that I just dissapeared, I should have told the union leader and other reliable persons there. I also learned the advices I wrote up in the other post here from taking a phone call to a consulting bureau and had some nice talk with a person there. She was an angel in supporting me.

stkitt: time brings wisdom, eh? ;-)


I wish you the best of luck while looking for a new job. I am sure your co-workers will miss you!

Ingrid


 
Diagnosed CD June 2007. Have only used prednisone. Did make a difference while max dosed. Got my problems back when tapering.
 
Using Low Dose Naltrexone from sept. 2007. LDN is super! I am now in remission ;-)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/21/2008 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Karen,
How are you today? Hope you drew a lot of strength from this thread.  Obviously you are cared about deeply here and just knowing how much you are respected should make you feel a wee bit better.

Many hugs for you.
Kitt

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