a poem,,, ahem.....

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randynoguts
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Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6050
   Posted 1/23/2008 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
  it hurts my gut
  it hurts my butt
  roids are bad
  they make me sad
  i have no bag
  this makes me glad
  surgeries, 14 for me
  i wish i could go, and only pee
  TPN , my toxic soup
  im glad we have this little group
  CT scans and MRI's
  sometimes i have itchy eyes
  pus and gunk drain out of holes
  we are judges of toilet bowls 
  gas we have that is no lie
  sometimes so bad we want to die
  humira and 'cade they help  and such
  why the **** they cost so much
  i chose the name randynoguts
  this at a time i had two butts
  one in front and one in back
  i thought at the time, wow, this is whack!
  binders and pads i wore
  but still squirted on walmarts floor
  i lost a job i could no longer do
  but being sick is hard work too
  i leave you with hugs and much luvin!
  but i got to go get my bread from the oven....
 
 
 
   no really, i got a bannana bread in the oven .
   i got more to say i will add it later.
 
 

indigosunrise
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 497
   Posted 1/23/2008 6:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Great job!  It brought a smile to my face!  :-)

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/23/2008 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the laugh Randy! That was great, looking forward to hearing the rest.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


pb4
Elite Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 20576
   Posted 1/23/2008 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
OMG, what a wasted talent you have (other then getting others to laugh so hard that "they pee".

:)
My bum is broken....there's a big crack down the middle of it!  LOL  :)


potatoqwn
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 355
   Posted 1/23/2008 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
So funny!!!!

chroniemomx2
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 2346
   Posted 1/23/2008 7:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh my word, hilarious!  
 
Mmmm, banana bread...when are you bringing some over?!  :)

smile1967
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 1/23/2008 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
You're hilarious!!
40 year old wife and mother of two boys 8 & 10
symptoms since the age of 19
officially diagnosed with crohn's Nov.2006
meds: pentasa 500mg 2 x 3day
(just went off Entocort 3mg 2/day)
currently waiting for surgery date (TI resection)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/23/2008 10:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Randy, I have found that you are a bit of a famous name on the Net.......that was hilarous.  I love to laugh.

Thanks for the smiles devilKitt


 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Sarita
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 2486
   Posted 1/23/2008 11:26 PM (GMT -7)   
LOL! I want to give this to all my professors. But I won't.
Co-moderator - IBS Forum


teddybearweiser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 3042
   Posted 1/24/2008 3:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Very funny Randy
Hi, I am teddybearweiser, I am a male.
I was diagnosed with crohns disease when i was admitted to the hospital
in 1992, in Jan of 1993 I was back in the hospital for surgery for my crohns. I had part of my right colon resectioned with ilecolonstomy.
 My GI doctor has me on Asacol, Dicyclomine,Imuran,Celebrex and Remicade. B-12 injection once a month.
My Internest doctor has me on Lisnopril-HTCZ and Folic Acid. Diagnosed
with Osteoarthritis July 2007
 


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6050
   Posted 1/24/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -7)   
the pain in my guts is from the peanuts
and the popcorn does it as well
why do we eat
what we know will repeat
that feeling of feeling like hell


the scars are there for all to see
from stitches and staples too
for all the fuss and hulabaloo
i got my tummytucks for free

the pain is there
its hard to bear
it may come in spurts
my whole body hurts
even my hair


when driving my car
i dont get very far
without looking for somwhere to go
we travel a bit
and i pray as i sit
thats not larry craig tapping his toe


more later
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 1/24/2008 7:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Loved the last line Randy. That was great as always.
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.


lady1012
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 304
   Posted 1/24/2008 8:51 AM (GMT -7)   
lol thats funny and oh so very true to daily life at times
I'm cute. Let's put me in charge.(happy bunny)
 
 
 anemia, b12 deficiancy, and malobsorption, moderate joint pain,severe weight loss, gastritis
 omega 3, digestive enzyme, calcium, vit d, flax oil, aloe vera juice, 9mg of entecort
 diagnosed with a CT scan september of 2007.


lamb61
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 1719
   Posted 1/24/2008 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm appointing you "morale officer"!!
 


gumby44
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 4101
   Posted 1/24/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much. I have been having a "feel sorry for myself" day. I've been in a flare for over a month and I'm getting so exhausted from trying to be positive. Your bravery and humor has helped to keep me going one more day!
49 yr. old female, diagnosed with Crohn's in small intestine and terminal ileum Sept-Oct. 2007
currently taking Pentasa 2750 mg- 9pills/day and on and off Prednisone for flares


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/24/2008 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Very good Randy!

 

My favorite part was about eating stuff that we shouldn’t. My hubby has been picking at me cause I keep doing it and feeling awful after!

 

Karen


 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


praying4healing
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 739
   Posted 1/24/2008 4:12 PM (GMT -7)   
GREAT POEM! HILLARIOUS AND TRUE! I TOO EAT THINGS THAT I KNOW MAY MAKE ME SICK...SHAME ON ME I GUESS LOL
25 y/o female- crohns disease since 14
Ileostomy pending-very worried
Tried asacol,pentasa,prednisone,remicade,6mp,azasan, no avail
Seatons placed
Worst year ever!

"For God has not given us the spirit of fear....."
Where does mine come from?!


broomhilda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 1/24/2008 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Well....in regards to the first poem...at least your two butts were in the front & back and not on your shoulders! I think you may be a budding literary genius! Keep 'em comin'!
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Predinsone, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium. Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Acne, Fatigue, Joint Pain, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, fibroid cysts, peri-menopausal.


humboldtmom
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 280
   Posted 1/24/2008 10:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I was just reading along and smiling until I got to the last line, and laughed so hard I got spit on my new flat screen! Love it! Bets

randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6050
   Posted 1/25/2008 3:35 AM (GMT -7)   
ive met hmom and soccergirl
gardenlady and beta
VV and sniper and others will come later
i will meet many more if only i could
to ask the old question , plastic or wood? (toilet seats)




i lifted my glass of orange juice high
as i wondered what brought this tear to my eye
did i get a splash in my face while i was squeezing
this orange juice that sits in my glass
no it could not be for as you see
must be the backup of gas



back in my youth
as i sat on my stoop
playing with molds and clay
i thought not about
the years to come
when i would discuss
playdoh poop someday





floaters and stinkers
and peeling paint poop
nose plugs are what we need
how we look at the toilet
and jump up and down
when we find that we did not bleed




more later
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


broomhilda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1488
   Posted 1/25/2008 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh...you just gotta go the Green Eggs & Ham route Randy! You can do it!
Dx'd Jan'06, 1st Resection 7/06, Predinsone, Humira, Imuran, B12 injections, Nexium. Secondary conditions: Psorasis, Acne, Fatigue, Joint Pain, Lactose Intolerant, gallstones, fibroid cysts, peri-menopausal.


karendee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 1/25/2008 7:24 AM (GMT -7)   
randy you should write a boook! thanks for the post it is cheering me up!

Karen

 ...

Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 On 150mg Azathioprine (generic Imuran), Pentasa, & Entocort (take zofran for nausea now)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Also have Arthritis, and feel like I am falling apart sometimes...


lady1012
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 304
   Posted 1/25/2008 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
lol oh this is good, keep em coming........:)
I'm cute. Let's put me in charge.(happy bunny)
 
 
 anemia, b12 deficiancy, and malobsorption, moderate joint pain,severe weight loss, gastritis
 omega 3, digestive enzyme, calcium, vit d, flax oil, aloe vera juice, 9mg of entecort
 diagnosed with a CT scan september of 2007.


randynoguts
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 6050
   Posted 1/28/2008 2:27 AM (GMT -7)   
oh pity oh pity
oh how can this be
that in this here city
TP cant be free?


spots on my lungs, what could they be
i went to seattle to have my CT
the dr then looked at the films he had hung
said come back in six months
or if you cough up a lung
randynoguts 



     http://www.geocities.com/randynogutsweb/


HabsHockeyFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 3130
   Posted 1/28/2008 6:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh Randy...Iwish I saw this while traveling last week. A good hearty chuckle (careful not to ooops) was what I needed.

TP can't be free....I know of a town that had such financial problems, the governmental buildings no longer supplied you TP. you had to bring your own!
Dx'd '90 (emergency rupture), symptoms ignored long before that, '03 fistulas and bad flagyl reactions, B12 weekly, Pentasa [until I surrender to the bigger meds]
I'm riding on the escalator of life....

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