OT- question about a forum rule

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FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 1/23/2008 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Mods-
 
Sorry if I should have asked this privately but I didn't know how...
 
I often read other forums as well as the crohns ones and try to help out where I feel I have knowledge.  I have noticed that whenever anyone mentions feeling suicidal that their post is automatically edited to take that out followed by a blanket "call this number if you are in danger of hurting yourself."  I am no expert but worked as a corrections officer with mentally unstable juveniles and had tons and tons of suicide prevention training.  I understand that it is difficult to hear someone state that they are in danger and that maybe you feel you have to delete it to avoid liability of not stopping it should it occur, but I venture to state that this may not be the most beneficial to the poster.  The poster is reaching out and it takes an amazing amount of courage to admit that one is suicidal.  If you ask a suicidal person if they are going to hurt themselves they usually say no (what they have in mind is ending pain not causing pain.)  If you ask them if they plan on killing themselves you may get the truthful answer.  It is then that you can say call 911, call a hotline, tell a family member, don't be alone, etc.  But editing out that painful admission is going to tell that person that it is wrong to say they want to kill themselves and make it that much harder for them to admit it to a 911 operator or a therapist.  I understand it is the forum rule but I highly doubt that one person feeling suicidal is going to prompt others to feel the same way.  If someone admits that on the forum, editing it out prevents other people from posting positive responses, telling the person why they shouldn't do it, offering support, an ear, and ways to get further help.  If just the magic words (die, kill, suicide) are edited out, they may still think their post makes sense to readers.  They will feel further isolated an alone when no one responds, when no one cares that they want to end their life.  In reality we do care, but if it is edited we do not know that, and can't offer the proper response.
 
Finally, on another note... the proper term for a female attracted to other females is edited out as swear word.  I kind of feel like that is disrespectful to our female homosexual members.  Is there a way we could get that word allowed?
 
Sorry I'm on a tangent today but those two things have bugged me for awhile and after reading a post on IBS I felt I needed to speak up.
26 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra.  Good times!!!
 
 


lady1012
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 304
   Posted 1/23/2008 10:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey FitzyK23 I agree with you.......its a reach for help and understanding and its not jurting anybody, its a cry for help and sometimes all one needs is a shoulder to cry on and some understanding on what they are going through......

as for the other well in this day and age it should be acceptable now to use the proper term....most everything else we use proper terms for why not this as well..........
I'm cute. Let's put me in charge.(happy bunny)
 
 
 anemia, b12 deficiancy, and malobsorption, moderate joint pain,severe weight loss, gastritis
 omega 3, digestive enzyme, calcium, vit d, flax oil, aloe vera juice, 9mg of entecort
 diagnosed with a CT scan september of 2007.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/23/2008 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi FitzyK23,
This
is Kitt and I am going to try to answer your concerns but also I will bring them to the attention of administration.  I am only speaking on my behalf and how I believe the site is set up the way it is.

I do know that we allow teens on the site so we do watch closely to follow the rules and guidelines set up by Administration.  
You are right some of us could talk with the members in distress that state how and what they want or are going to do to harm themselves.  Some people would find these topics very distressing and not know how to handle them.  Others would know how to talk to them but the risk is very great to the suicidal member as  the written word can be so easily misunderstood.

I feel these members in crisis need to be directed to a hotline or immediate help.  They need the help of a professional.
The HealingWell rule is: Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted. Mods do edit out parts if it is only in conversation but all posts are copied to Administration so they are not ignored. We don't just delete them completely. We just remove the serious threats from the open forum. Yes we do replace with the crisis numbers.

Due to the anonymity of the site and the fact that this is a peer support group and not responsible for calling any authority on any member that threatens suicide, we strongly encourage members to call the hotline , 911, a family member or a friend, or to check themselves in to the local hospital emergency room. We truly care for all the members and it may seem unkind but again I would never want to cause harm and if the situation calls for professional help then I would follow the rule and refer them to the Crisis Numbers and/or 911.

I know you are thinking of the members too and I do understand where  your coming from.

Now your other concern, I am not sure which word but I think I know, I will send this question to Admin and I would guess it is a word that is in the censored list for the site.  I do not know how that list was chosen.

I thank you in advance for your understanding of where I am coming from with my response. You are all kind and caring members.

Respectfully

Kitt

 



 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 1/23/2008 10:28:24 PM (GMT-7)


FitzyK23
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 4219
   Posted 1/24/2008 6:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kitt - I hadn't thought about how upsetting it could be to other members to worry about the member that is in danger. I'm a little hardened from the line of work I was in and most people have not had to deal with someone in that situation before. I think the hotlines, referrals to a hospital, calling a friend, and 911 suggestions are GREAT. I had just wondered why the cry for help was deleted and now I understand better. And don't worry too much about saying the wrong thing. 99% of the time you can not talk someone into hurting themselves. Just listening may however talk them out. Thanks for responding.
26 Year old married female.  Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD.  Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra.  Good times!!!
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/24/2008 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Fitzy, Glad I was able to shed some light.  I worked ER for 26 years so I know what your saying, but I usually had the patient in the ER so I took it from there.  The ER did not take direct patient calls.

Thanks again for asking your questions.
Kitt


 
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 

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